Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show For Sarcastic People

We're back and here to talk about many things, but mainly how unreasonably hot Paxton Hall-Yoshida is! That's right, it's the Golden Month of Television and we're kicking things off with season two of Never Have I Ever, a Hatewatch Our Joy mainstay that generates an equal ratio of tears to google searches about male characters' heights. Please enjoy our raw, unedited, earnest feelings about this show and what we owe to Mindy Kaling and also what we absolutely do not owe to our two-star reviewer (no, we're not over it). If you missed us, be sure to check out the Everwood Pinecast (http://everwoodpinecast.com/), where we've been busy recapping season one of the hit WB series Everwood (which Never Have I Ever may have stolen IP from, who's to say???).

We're coming at you late from the throes of Hot Vax Summer with the most important updates of the year. First, Lil Fingers QuarCor! Then, Sam Heughan's Whiskey! And just when you think you've had enough, it's EUROVISION 2021. We Don't Feel Hate for our lives at this moment in episode history.

We are filthy trash dogs folks, hear us roar. We love trash so much because we come from a long line of trash dogs and as such we could not resist revisiting the ultimate filthy trash dog, the 2017 ABC 8 episode one hit wonder, Downward Dog. TL;Dr we still don't know why everyone except us loved this show but we sure don't!

Consider this week's episode to be another installment in the classic series Netflix, What Have You Done?! We watched the reality home buying/wedding planning show Marriage or Mortgage so you don't have to. Come for the complete unabashed psuedo HGTV emotional war crimes, stay for Kelsey's crusade to defend the honor of Love It or List It????

We did it Joe! We launched another podcast! After years of r&d we are finally able to present to you our extremely timely show recapping the 2002 WB cult classic Everwood, in all of it's early aughts glory. Come for the moral panic, stay for our Dad.

Trailer for our new podcast, the Everwood Pinecast

Grab your tobbogans and your gas masks folks because we're boarding a train to a whole new world of trains and infrastructure. The good news, we've found the intersection of our brand containing both Trains and Sam Heughan, the bad news, it's Action Hallmark. It's always Christmas, the good guy always wins, and there's always bombs on trains. We are heart broken to be winding down Our Month on the Rails, but we are so grateful you joined us all for the ride.

This is it, after a long month winding through the country side, we have climbed the mountain and reached the absolute pinnacle of our life on the rails, where we found Coastal Railways with Julie Walters. We've seen a lot trains and a lot of countryside but we have never seen anything as joyful as Julie Walters riding the train. We're smoking some fish, touring some trailers, eating some lobsters, and learning a lot about victorian train ettiquette.

Sometimes you're chugging along a highway, sometimes you're running along a scenic river gorge, and sometimes you're navigating across the Great Glen Way on 70 miles of plastic rail. We're joining our friend Dick Strawbridge in the journey to Fucking Inverness this week on The Biggest Little Railway in the World. Come for the model trains, stay for the friendship. At the intersection of our inexplicable brand you'll find Scotland, Nice People, Dick Strawbridge, british people, infrastructure, Love Productions and (checks notes) Hamm Analysis???? Anyway, we just really love trains.

It's Infrastructure Month! Hope y'all like TRAINS. We're kicking things off by exploring Norwegian Slow TV, or as we like to call it, free therapy. They've got knitting, they've got boats, but most of all, they've got trains. Somehow along the way during our seven hour Bergen line YouTube journey, we discovered that Train TV is actually for us? Please tell us about your favorite routes and whether or not you think mountains should categorically be allowed in the game of Hot or Tall! And next week: MORE TRAINS.

We are traveling through the highlands of Scotland to explore the highs of Sam Heughan's turtle necks, the rich valleys of Sam Heughan and Graham McTavish's thighs, and understand our roots as travel show/hot-and-tall enthusiasts. While we're on the subject, stay tuned for the end as Kelsey reveals a new important scientific acheivement, the Hamm Analysis.

Hop on board the nostalgia train yet again because we found another excuse to hang out with our dad Colin Firth! This week we're exploring another classic piece of teen girl culture that Kirstie missed in the early aughts, What A Girl Wants. This film is jam packed with flare jeans, hijinks, and Colin Firth dancing in leather pants. We explore some latent feelings about Vespas, wonder what the writers knew about the House of Windsor, and are compelled to say this movie is Not That Bad? Thank you to our very kind listeners who have been sending us content suggestions, keep them coming!

We're coming to you late but once you see how much content we crammed into this episode you'll understand why. This week we thought we were bringing you an episode about the reboot of the early aught's classic, HGTV Design Star, but really what we ended up bringing you was almost 90 minutes of our white hot fury. We joked before recording that we'd have the show's run time of complaints, and we concluded that one can be petty and kind, and we hope we were able to strike the balance while still approaching the content with the level of curiosity demanded by Ted Lasso (spoiler alert: it was challenging).

Join us for an adventure in 90's tv musical production as we unpack the 1997 Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella (you know the one, with Brandy, Whitney Houston, and great ubiquitous character actor Victor Garber??). In between Kirstie reading Victor Garber's IMDB history, we touch on the song mixes, the sound stage vibes, and how much this thing truly slaps. We also promote a certain tv interview that's already aired and unfortunate now-old news about Mr. Hot & Tall In Perpetuity, so this is a blast from the past in pretty much every way.

Sometimes you record an episode of a podcast and think to yourself, man I could really record another episode of that. So here we are, revisiting Ted Lasso. After having a Rebecca reaction to Ted Lasso, Kirstie rewatched the show and is back for another go at talking about what we love about it. Tl:DR we love it and we just want to spend more time talking about it so please come talk to us about Ted Lasso some more.

This week, we pushed the boundaries of geographical internet roadblocks to finally watch The Great British Sewing Bee! While there are no tears over works of art on this iteration of the quaint maker competition, we do get to learn a lot about things like darts and sewing on the bias and whether or not sewing makes for good tv. The most important thing this week is that we get a REALTIME REVIEW at the end of the episode and we have a lot of feelings about it (THANK YOU NIKNIK!).

Have you ever wondered what it would be like for Alec Baldwin to expose himself to Steve Martin on webcam? Well have we got a film for you! This week we're resisting RomComducation with It's Complicated which brought up a lot of beef about kitchens, kitchen renovations, kitchen size, kitchen storage, dream kitchens, and John Krasinski. Also in breaking news we reveal the true identity of QAnon?

This week we're reporting live from the floating glamping dome at Château de la Motte-Husson. We wish??? Alas, we are forced to Escape to the Chateau by way of Dick Strawbridge and his enigmatic aura. If you too enjoy watching questionable people make questionable choices with both their home renovation and their business, look no further than this gem that includes highlights such as taxidermy! narrator shade! growing vegetables and eating them! We actually cannot overstate how much we love this show or how many questions we have about Dick Strawbridge's credentials. If you have information about the petty chateau wars, please contact us!

We've got soooooo much to unpack this week. Kelsey finally has her moment to deliver a friendship gift to Kirstie in the form of Ted Lasso and Kirstie........politely accepted. We spend some time trying to understand why a beautiful, self aware, well humored, kind show about friendship and the workplace wasn't somehow made specifically for Kirstie and the answer is.....fascism? This was our last episode recorded in Trump's America cut us some slack. Oh also Kirstie cries for the first time ever on the podcast so get hype.

It's time to channel our best Ladies Whistledown to throw some shade and adoration at Bridgerton! This is part 2 of 3 of our Pilot Palooza Extravaganza and we're getting into the spoiler zone to talk about the entire season, including costume choices, romance choices, and sex ed choices. We still think the Duke of Hastings is hot, the Other Men are a waste of time, and Sam Heughan can get it (what how did that get in there???). If you liked this, please rate and review with the height of your favorite man of Regency adaptations!