Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show For Sarcastic People

As a member of society, you may or may not be subject to this dark time in television, as Game of Thrones is back on television and winter is here. We are dutifully recapping Game of Thrones over at our other podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, but in the interest of Alternative Content, we are here today to recommend content that scratches Game of Thrones' various itches. We cover themes such as Strong Sexual Content, Violence, House/Palace Intrigue, Unlikable Characters, and more! Find out which show we labled as the Hatewatch Superbowl, see how we justify talking about our faves for the millionth time in a new context, listen to Kirstie and Kelsey congratulate each other repeatedly for accomplishing the goal of episode format, and revel in the moment when Kirstie has to tell Kelsey she was right. From Westeros to Aldovia, there's some beef stew for everyone in this episode y'all.

It's the first NEW episode of our NEW PODCAST, Our Watch Has Ended: A Game Of Thrones Hatewatch. You can subscribe at our new feed by searching for Our Watch Has Ended anywhere you find podcasts! Subscribe there for weekly episodes all through season 8! It's been two years, but we are back at it with our favorite garbage show! Don't gaslight us about great houses, it's been a long time! As the hype builds, so do the brand partnerships, so we wanted to take a minute to talk about some of the crazy ways HBO has licensed Game of Thrones to trick you into BLEEDING FOR THE BRANDS. We discuss Oreo, Shake Shack, the American Red Cross, Mountain Dew, Urban Decay, Love Pop, Rolling Pins, Johnny Walker, and Spotify. How many houses are there? How do you fit a house on a cookie? Are we in Snowdonia? We are back on our bullshit, bringing the HOT LOOKS and HOT TAKES and dear god are we ready for this season to be over. Use the hashtag #hatewatchGOT to watch along with us! This episode is only about licensing dea

This week we are two hosts who are feeling confident about what we have prepared for you: two shows that have names, a show that gives us feelings and a show that doesn't, and a rundown of the ways our heros have failed us. We watched Jane the Virgin and the new Mike Schur show Abby's. We've got an episode of our Everwood Podcast Within the Podcast, a lot to say about narrative stakes, and some broad and varied hot takes on television pilots. Jane the Virgin spoilers end around 37-38 minutes. Don't forget to subscribe to our new podcast, Our Watch Has Ended, for all of your Game of Thrones content!

We're revisiting our favorite network in our hearts this week and have found some gems from Netflix's selection of Cottage Life UK content. However, we don't visit Netflix without generating a few gripes, and we have A LOT OF THEM because Netflix has unjustly removed Canadian Cottage Life from their offering. Once we get over our feelings about that (and begin our letter writing campaign), we meet our new friends Dick Strawbridge and Willie Fedora over at Cabins in the Wild. This segment includes Dragon themed cabins, live reports from Snowdonia National Park, and everybody's favorite time - Kirstie and Kelsey google some things about pioneer life. Then we move on to House Doctor (how can I help?), where we meet yet another bag of dicks, Grumpy Old Dickie. We learn a lot about rooms with a point of view and our point of view is that this show is a disaster. This episode wraps up with a discussion of the maple syrup grading system, so don't miss that. Happy sugaring season, y'all! Don't forget to check out our

This week, we're judging NBC and their choices in the drama category from the past few years. First, we're talking about two buuuckwild episodes of The Night Shift, a summer medical/military drama that just did a lot of things badly. Next up is Manifest, a disaster drama that's also very bad and features heavy amounts of Jesus. But never fear! We have some unexpected Jane the Virgin feels and even more unexpected TREATS, so make sure to stick around til the end.

Thanks to a listener suggestion, we spend this week's episode down a rabbit hole known as the WB Then and Now, Pilot Palooza Bonus Round, Make Kirstie Watch An Everwood, or The Greg Berlanti Factor. We bring you in depth reporting such as show runner horoscopes, Comics vs RomComs, and Legends of Eurovision. Kirstie says "tonality" a lot so you know it has to be good! Then we finally talk about Kelsey's heart and soul, Everwood. Doc Brown comes to comfort us, and we sling some Hot Hallmark Takes and argue about Schitt's Creek. Like any small town, this episode has a lot of heart. Stay tuned for an announcement about our new project, pending the resolution of our endless struggle against A Major Podcast Distributer!

It's a real grab bag of hatewatch nostalgia this week! Fate leads us to revisit Kirstie's "favorite romcom of all time," Sweet Home Alabama, and we have some thoughts about low rise flare jeans and jokes that make us uncomfortable in 2019. After a brief discussion about novelty Instagram belts we have a chat about the living rooms of sitcoms, because nobody likes a high end finish like Hatewatch With Us. Come for True American, the safety version, stay for... a teaser of our new side project? Stay tuned for more details coming soon! We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

It's the Five Star Podcast experience for the Five Star guest. Luxury! Social Media Moments! Relax and recharge in this chic episode with beautiful, expansive views of the Netflix shows Stay Here and Instant Hotel. Whether you love a knitting show or are looking for the opposite of shows about nice people only, this episode has something for every guest. Enjoy premium features such as Strong Sexual Content Barbie, a lesson on thrummed mittens, and Kirstie and Kelsey Google. If you enjoyed your stay, consider entering us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit contest! https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night. This is your last week to enter! We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

Before we begin this episode, let's take a moment to greet the podcast home. You know what that means: it's finally time to talk Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Spark joy with us on this adventure as Kirstie spends the entire segment masterfully avoiding admitting that she's wrong about how many steps there are in the KonMari method. Then we move on to kimono, which is actually just the Hallmark Channel. We discovered A Winter Princess (Winter for Princess? The Winter of Princess?) and we are here to tell you that it is a delight. Hallmark really phones it in in the wake of Hallmark Christmas, giving us the gift of our favorite fake European country name of all time. So tune in for that big reveal, and if it sparks joy for you, consider entering us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit contest! https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

It's that time of year where we look at the television landscape, put on our best White Savior Doctor lab coats and say, "How can I help?" We entered our third Pilot Palooza with a lot of hopes and dreams, and as it turned out nothing was our shit. After getting our squirrel on with this year's batch of shows, we may just need a montage to Coldplay's Fix You or a time machine. We watched New Amsterdam, Timeless, Glow, Sharp Objects, Vida, Killing Eve, and checked in briefly with Last Man Standing, play a quick round of Hot Or Tall, talk about a lot of other shows we would have rather been watching that weren't on the list, and nominate this year's Downward Dog because as always our heros have failed us. Let us know if there are any pilots we missed in 2018, and let us know throughout 2019 what shows you'll want us to watch! If you liked Pilot Palooza you still have two more weeks to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest! https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're member

Like the mustache on a young hero's face or the thunder in one's pants, we have arrived once again at the end of another season of Outlander. Join us as we trade our gloats and gripes for the season and try to come to terms with challenging ideas such as actual human emotions, facial expressions, drawing, and sad tent sex. Joy was sparked, rage was raged, and the Strong Sexual Content was the Actually Just Normal Feelings We Felt About Sam Heughan's Face along the way. If you want to see us follow up on the very important Outlander thesis presented in this episode, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night Pilot Palooza coming next week, we swear! We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

We survived post-holiday laziness, a laggy connection, poor editing choices, and the flu to get this episode out there to y’all, but we finally did it! We’re wrapping up 2018 with everybody’s favorite awards show, The Really F%cking Good Television Awards Show (For Nice People Only). Highlights include an in-depth discussion of our DVR romance, Kelsey’s Target boner, the reveal of Mr. Hot Or Tall 2018, and some sneaky little Eurovision easter eggs. Thanks for hatewatching with us through another year, y’all! We’ll be back soon for Pilot Palooza 2019! We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

Y'all better buckle up because drunk Santa is driving this podcast sleigh this week. In this very special episode of Netflix, What Have You Done? Christmas Edition, we're airing our grievances about The Christmas Chronicles and A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. But it's not just DTF Santa and Aldovian wedding planning over here at Hatewatch HQ. Somehow, this episode takes us from Chris Columbus The Entity to JC Chasez's discography, desperate pleas to Ron Moore, and even a very special Hugh Grant deep cut (Hugh, where were you in Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again!????). If you've enjoyed our Hatewatch Christmas journalism, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

It's our last installment of Hatewatch Hallmark before moving on to the endless bounty of off-brand Christmas movies, so we are coming in hot this week. We start with the sequel to our Outlander Store Dot Com special: A Novice's Guide to Destiny Dice and honestly we feel this should have been its own segment because it had way more to offer than either of the films we watched. We then move on to Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe where we had a lot of questions about our stock options next fiscal year. Before long we are visited by the Ghost of Jean Smart Past, Future, and Present, and were transported to A Shoe Addict's Christmas where Kelsey bestowed upon us the gift of her Candance impression and ERHMERHGERD did we dig up an old ass meme. If you too would like to redo your past in answer to your calling from God by your guardian angel Jean Smart, enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Thought B

It's #HatewatchHallmark Vermont week! We watch Road to Christmas, where Kirstie learns how to identify a Chad Michael Murray in the wild, then it's like Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! all over again as we revisit our favorite town with an inexplicable Christmas theme in Christmas in Evergreen: Letters to Santa. Ok, it's not quite as good as Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again!, but what could be? We chat about the specific boundaries we want Hallmark to push, Kirstie references male romantic leads as "the guy... the love guy," and we even get some good old fashioned tchotchke ponzi schemes. If you're reading this, Santa, consider this our letter, and enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest this holiday season: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

Its the most wonderful time of the year, #HatewatchHallmark 2018! We are kicking off the season with Hallmark's Christmas at Pemberley Manor, which features a breakdown of Hallmark's many adaptive failures of classic literature, a few jokes at the expense of Gen Z, the rollout of our new Christmas Hatewatch Bingo and plenty of printed emails. Then we move on to our favorite segment-within-a-segment with Netflix, What Have You Done? This time, Netflix has done A Princess Switch (formerly a Christmas Switch), and we travel to Belgragenovaldovia to shout about identity theft, transference, pureeing fruit, and bad accents. Come for the Parent Trap references, stay for the Generic Fictional European Country Eurovision Team draft picks. Also, if you like the show, don't forget to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest! 25 entries will start a printed-email letter writing campaign to Hallmark and/or the creation of the Generic Fictional European Country Name Generator! Enter us here: https://ww

We're going back to the archives this week with an episode we recorded when we "hadn't talked about Outlander in a while" (what?). Kirstie also drinks one 5.2% ABV beer, so get hype. We kick things off with a discussion of TV wedding tropes, and Kelsey tries desperately to get Kirstie to believe in television romance yet again. Then, we decide it's time to ruin the Outlander fandom's fun and visit OutlanderStore.com, a truly wild place. That's right folks - they've got shower curtains, pocket standees, $500 replica gear - and we're here to bring you hard hitting reporting on all of it. Spoiler alert: Kirstie buys Kelsey half of OutlanderStore.com for her birthday. Also, if you like the show, don't forget to enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest! Enter us here: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

Droughtlander is over folks! We are binding off the season premier of Outlander and we're kicking it off with our greatest hits: Sam Heughan's tight white pants, tricorns, Starz market research, Sam Heughan market research, and heated debates about the quality of boning. We'll check in again formally at midseason, but look forward to every episode for the next 13 weeks being an Outlander episode! If you enjoyed this episode/the show, please enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus

Today we bestow upon you multiple surprises! First, it's a surprise midweek episode! Consider this a peace offering for being late on our regular episode this week. We are bringing you the truest spirit of Hatewatch with both of the Mamma Mia movies! The love Pierce Brosnan gave us, nothing else can save us SOS. We were defeated, Mamma Mia won the war. Wine coolers, Greek vacations, all three of our hot dads, My My, how could we resist ya? Then, we're having the time of our lives with our super secret super extra bonus content, The Outlander Episode Podcast Within An Episode! For this very special bonus content, we are filling you in on some important Sam Heughan news in the lead up to Outlander's new season on Sunday. Watch that scene, digging these podcast queens [with financial support in the form of contest entires????] If you enjoyed this episode/the show, please enter us in the Sam Heughan Charity Crossfit Contest!: https://www.omaze.com/experiences/sam-heughan-date-night We're members of the Tho

This Halloween we bring you only the spoo000o0o0o0o0o0o00kiest content: an episode a week late, more American Girl movies, and yet another installment of Listen to Kirstie and Kelsey Look at the Internet! We BYOB'd our American Girl stories and learned about gymnastics, civil rights, and ourselves. Discover important changes to the American Girl branding and line up, and don't forget to tell us YOUR American Girl Story! We're members of the Thought Bubble Audio Network. Find us at: www.thoughtbubbleaudio.com @thoughtbubblefm www.hatewatchwithus.com @hatewatchwithus