Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show For Sarcastic People

Dear loyal subjects, it is finally time to talk about The Crown! We've got feelings about season 3, the monarchy, and the fine fine line between prestige dramas and sad boi lion sex made-for-tv movies. There's also plenty of recast talk, including lamenting the loss of a Wine Matthew and gaining the good and great Tobias Menzies (we for sure do not have a Tobias Bias). If you would like to congratulate us for successfully recording an episode in the same place at the same time for the same reason, please do so by giving us a 5-star review!

We're taking a Christmas journey to two Europes, both of which are based in a reality so otherworldly, Candace Cameron-Bure remains our only tether to life here on Earth. First, we journey to Rome to catch up with our old friend Lacey in the Hallmark Original, Christmas in Rome. It's another Christmas, and another jockish businessman who only knows spreadsheets and overtime, but luckily Lacey is there to help him knead bread, however questionable the technique. Then we head to Aldovia to reunite with Queen Amber, in A Christmas Prince 3: The Trilogy We Never Asked For. I'm sorry, :The Royal Baby. We're bringing the hot takes on birth plans, contractions, paint rollers, feminism, and the naming conventions of fictional countries. With the Hatewatch Holidays winding down, it's time to start looking ahead to two of our favorite annual traditions, The Really Fucking Good Television Award Show For Nice People Only, and Pilot Palooza. Send us your suggestions!

A special holiday hatewatch for you, from all of us at Thought Bubble Audio! We're talking about one of the latest additions to the Netflix Holiday Movie Cinematic Universe, A Knight Before Christmas. It's got Vanessas! It's got Old Crones! It's got kneading! What more can you ask for, really? Happy Holidays! If you enjoy this, check out all of the Thought Bubble Audio shows at thoughtbubbleaudio.com. Special Guests: Frank Ramblings, Marissa, Palmer, and Tim.

Hatewatch Holidays continue this week with two new original movies from the eternally sexless Hallmark Channel. First, we're revisiting Evergreen for the THIRD time with Christmas In Evergreen 3: Tidings of Joy. Our favorite totally real Vermont town is back to their whimsical ways with a plot heavy advent calendar time capsule situation! Stay tuned for next year when we inevitably cover Christmas In Evergreen 4: Small Boy Gets Another Key and Everybody Goes To Therapy. Our second film this week is Sense, Sensibility, and Snowmen, which carries on the Hallmark tradition of disgracing Jane Austen's good name for the sake of Christmas content. Also, the podcast would like to note that the jingle bells in this episode is not in fact our own festive sound effect but rather the resident pod dog channeling the spirit of Christmas with his collar. We're not sorry.

It's the kickoff to Hatewatch Holidays and we're doing our best to get into the holiday spirit by knocking out some very un-merry content from the jump. First we reunite with Kelsey's One True Dad and Kirstie's new Problematic Uncle, Dennis Quaid, in the Netflix Christmas show Merry Happy Whatever. We get to relive all the highlight of moments in television like Last Man Standing and Everybody Loves Raymond and Dennis Quaid's relationship with much younger women and the patriarchy. Then we are discussing the Freeform reality show Wrap Battle. Join us in rapidly wrapping this pilot (see what we did there?) and exploring some reality tv deep state conspiracy theories. Stay tuned, there is lots for Christmas Coverage to come!

We are diving in to our 2019 Holiday Hatewatch coverage with old friend Rob Lowe, and new friend Not-Katie-Holmes, in the Netflix Holiday Classic Holiday in the Wild. We've got elephants, we've got white saviors, we've got African Language, and did we mention the elephants? Come for Netflix's attempted charity tax write off, stay to MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF. Also, please let us know if you genuinely know who we can donate to to help the elephants. Happy Holidays!

Somehow we're still watching ABC this week as we DIVE IN to The (regrettable) Little Mermaid Live. We air our grievances about the false advertising that led us here, popup countdowns, crowd participation, and Shaggy's apparent kidnapping at the hands of ABC. But never fear! If you can help Kirstie acquire the naming rights to Score: A Hockey Musical, she has a distribution plan that will knock your fins(?) off.

This week, we are talking about ABC's fall tv offering, but we are ALSO talking about The Barenaked Ladies (again). First, we discuss Stumptown and Kirstie's war on lead female characters on network tv. Then, we try to work through our Downward Dog PTSD with Emergence, a show that is Spo0o0o0o0o0ky. Come for the Topical Content, stay for the Vermont dome folklore. If you are a network exec, please come talk to us about what we can offer by way of Victorian ghosts if you set your show in New England instead of New York! Also, Downward Dog was a bad show.

Jesus Wept! It only took 2 months but Kirstie has finally watched a Derry Girls and we are finally here to tell you how much we loved it. We explore feelings about 90s music, lingo, character proxies, and these our modern times. Come for the feels, stay to find out whether or not this show qualifies for this year's Really Fucking Good Television Award Show for Nice People Only. This episode's letter writing campaigns are: 1. More shows with 22 minute episodes and 6 episode seasons, 2. Start saying Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo, 3. Make all the other Thought Bubble Audio hosts watch Score: A Hockey Musical.

This week we are playing shinny with the rink rats and just trying to figure out hockey the equation as we bring you exclusive coverage of Score: A Hockey Musical. Brought to you by league propaganda, the Bare Naked Ladies, and Canada, this film is guaranteed to break you in the time it takes to sing a montage about the discovery of self through toxic masculinity and bromance. Also, that guy from Schitts Creek is there and yes we brought fan fiction.

It's everyone's favorite problematic holiday, Chris Columbus Day! Instead of celebrating the historical figure who did the genocide across North America, we are celebrating the casual racism of children's film director Chris Columbus. This year we are discussing the film Adventures in Babysitting, and listeners, we are deeply concerned. Then, it's time for us to circle back on Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, one of the great films of 2001. We take this opportunity to explore many of the other great films of 2001 and their standing against Harry Potter. Find out how we feel about the Thumbs from Spy Kids, and if you have any information regarding the not 2001 film Ella Enchanted, please find us on Twitter @hatewatchwithus.

We're back (on schedule!) for Part 2 of our regrettable series, Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch. This week, Kelsey has a moral crisis about watching TV on a laptop as we discuss the MTV series Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club. We're so traumatized by the whole thing that we might buy a whole beach in Mykonos. So join us for hot Annie James takes, Lohan Group empire business updates, and ultimately more discussions of Below Deck Mediterranean. And remember, if you want to be our brand ambassador, please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts!

In celebration of International Podcast Day (ish), we officially return from our third unexpected hiatus this year with the 10 hour movie that is the Great Poop Tub Flood of 2019. We are Tits Out At The Colosseum for our new two-part format, Make Each Other Watch A Hatewatch. Part 1 is the Starz show Spartacus. There's very little clothing, a lot of fighting, and everyone is staying very close to everyone's thighs. We have no idea who this show is for, but we do know they're doing a lot of it. Tune in next week for Part 2 and find out who hated their lives more (spoiler alert: it was the cohost shouting over 3 industrial sized fans and a dehumidifier while it was 106 degrees in the studio!!!).

Your favorite hosts are back and here to unlock the Hallmark Channel algorithm as we dig deep into their HGTV fanfic movie, Flip That Romance. Whether you're into flipping or florist-ing, there's something here for everyone(???) as long as you're not a contractor looking for work in Portland. So pick up some art wood and join us on this adventure through a generic Pacific Northwest place as we learn about the best foliage for your kitchen island, voter fraud at the home and garden show, and how not to write a press release. Remember folks, with only one of their designs able to win the magazine spread, it could be that not only their duplex got renovated for the better but also their romance got flipped as well.

Back to School, Back to Podcast, that's what we always say! We're back from our Second Annual Impromptu Summer Hiatus and we've got hot takes about seasonal beverages as well as the last season of Jane the Virgin. We're totally fine, and everything is fine this episode. We're fine with being done dirty by the format, we're fine with all the crying we did or did not do, and we're totally fine with everything we've ever felt along the way. IT'S DEFINITELY ALL FINE GUYS.

All crew! All crew! Please meet us in the bridge for a Hatewatch meeting! Get ready to fill out your preference sheets and drink a whole bottle of wine because we've discovered Below Deck Mediterranean and we can't. stop. watching. After we're done admiring Captain Sandy's management skills, we get into it about snacks! From Cheez-Its to cereal to the best chip dip vessels, we've got it all (plus grammar lessons, because we are who we are). BONUS: Keep an ear out for the moment we learn we both love oysters! It was a really big day for us.

We are back from our spontaneous hiatus, and we are coming in hot with an olive branch....that is.....if that olive branch could be a symbolism lion. We do a lot of journalism about Lifetime's feelings about the television show Suits, symbolism sex boi lion aphrodisiacs, the time differential between this film hitting the editing room and the birth of a royal baby and whinging. Just remember girls, glass ceilings not glass slippers! T'wasn't easy but we're here to serve the people.

It's that time of year again! That's right folks, Eurovision returned, and despite some streaming dilemmas we persevered to bring you some spicy hot Europop content. Speaking of spicy hot, we kick off with some neat oven safety tips, courtesy of Eurovision 2018. We don't condone drinking games, but if one were to play one, we might suggest they drink every time we call a performance "wild" this year. We bring you our favorites, our least favorites, and some side conversations about mens fashion, geography, and Kirstie's life on the rails. Check out some of our top performances at the links below, and remember, as they say in San Marino: Be a hero. Be the rainbow. Australia, Zero Gravity: https://youtu.be/86tJJ1taitw Norway, Spirit in the Sky: https://youtu.be/3EmUmbhDRiY Switzerland, She Got Me: https://youtu.be/6PxoMWtAC7M Czech Republic, Friend of a Friend: https://youtu.be/yH1-uy9FYKE Romania, Yodel It (2017): https://youtu.be/LlDzaRK8fSM

Everything is fine this week as we roll the dice and stay up way past our knitting curfew to give Kelsey a space to yell about all the reasons she was right about Schitt's Creek. It's an act of gate keeping, friendship, self restraint and shitty railroads. We get hype about characters, place, romcoms, sitcoms, Canada, and the Gay Agenda. If you listen to our show because we hate stuff, this is not the episode for you. If you listen to our show and think, "man I wish you liked stuff sometimes?", then this is for you. Come for the salty salts, stay for the shiny clean grand romantic gestures.

It's a romcomducation bonus episode! We're here to discuss the 2007 rom-com Music & Lyrics, starring our problematic fave, Hugh Grant. Mostly we just want to talk about how all we want to do is find a way back into loveeeeeee. Then we're jumping to some more timely, topical content and sharing our thoughts on Someone Great, a new Netflix original movie that was fine. As reporters in the target demo field, we discuss hangovers when you're 29, millennial home decor, and career depictions. We also snuck in some exciting previews for Hallmark Channel movies AND some choices Lifetime is making, so stay tuned for more there.