Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show For Sarcastic People

Do you like Eurovision? Do you like fun? Do you wear a mask in public? Please allow us to point you in the direction of Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, a gift from the universe for us all. We could not have fewer regrets about dedicating two hours and two bottles of rosé to this movie. It's got songs that slap! It's got Pierce Dad! Honestly, if you need something to get you through until Mamma Mia 3 or the end of quarantine (whichever comes first), you will not go wrong with this film. Please channel the spirit of Eurovision and join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bailfundsgeorge_floyd?refcode=cwg

We were watching a tv show the other daaaaay... That's right folks, Kirstie watched eight whole seasons of television (ALLEGEDLY) and now it's finally time to talk about Letterkenny, the filthiest show for nice people only. This super soft episode features over 50 minutes of us talking about how much we like this show. Nots to be impolite, but if you have a problem with Letterkenny, you have a problem with us, and we suggest you let that marinate. If you haven't watched it yet... pitter patter! If you appreciates this, please join us in donating and learning how you can help a much more important cause at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bailfundsgeorge_floyd?refcode=cwg

We are back this week with a Kuarantine Korner update, because it appears that Quarantine will never end! Fortunately, Bravo's like a second stew offering us expensive champagne because Below Deck Med is back and we have some thoughts! After we discuss which members of the crew may or may not be unhinged and update our preference sheets for these our Quarantimes, we talk about a few more shows that have piqued our interest, including The Great, Peaky Blinders, and Letterkenny (stay tuned for next week PHEASANTS). In lieu of begging for 5-star reviews, please focus your efforts on a much more worthwhile cause and join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bailfundsgeorge_floyd?refcode=cwg

Note from your cohosts: This week's episode is coming to you from several weeks ago, so there's a noteworthy lack of commentary about these, our ever changing modern times! In lieu of begging for 5-star reviews, please focus your efforts on a much more worthwhile cause and join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bailfundsgeorge_floyd?refcode=cwg Have you done that? Great! Now if what you need is some escapist tv, we fortuitously chose this week to talk about The Durrells in Corfu. This show may or may not be a prequel to Mamma Mia (yes we know there already is a prequel), and what it lacks in song and dance numbers it makes up for in sass and men that are both Hot and Tall.

What happens when one cohost low key picks up homesteading? Apparently, this. We're here to bring you a true hatewatch this week, Discovery Channel's Homestead Rescue. We watched the pilot and we have thoughts about goat enclosures, conspiracy theories, and the patriarchy. We also workshop an iteration of Homestead Flip or Flop, which feels like a lot more fun (call us, Discovery Channel?). While we're at it, Cottage Life Network, please also call us and give us a way to access Brojects. Thank you!

The story of this podcast is that we won't be discussing Eurovision 2020, because it was a lie. Instead, we are here to talk about our feelings as they relate to the Netflix original series, Never Have I Ever. You all are delighted, we assume. Come for Hot or Tall, stay for tales of high school romance from Kirstie's past. Also, if you know the height of Ben Gross, please contact us immediately at @hatewatchwithus.

Welcome to our slightly delayed review of Outlander, season 5! We've got highs, we've got lows, and we've got petty thoughts. But that's not all, folks. We channeled the spirit of Outlander with this unwieldy 1:40 minute episode, which means we also had time for Mustache Moments™️, Jamie Fraser's Big Hagrid Energy, and wild speculation about the future of this series! If you don't care about Kirstie & Kelsey's Kuarantine Korner (rude), feel free to skip ahead to minute 8 to jump into Outlander talk.

This week, we're bringing the energy of an overconfident showrunner in a 3 minute postshow featurette with a topic we're fondly calling Inside the Dick. We present some groundbreaking theories including: audiences are smart, clip shows right after episodes are dumb, and maybe certain men should be less smug. This episode isn't an Outlander episode, but it's also not NOT and Outlander episode. Please enjoy, please stay home, and please tell us what you're watching so we can mention it in our new segment, Kirstie and Kelsey's Kuarantine Korner! --> @hatewatchwithus

Hello loyal listeners! This week, we are chatting about Miracle Workers and Miracle Workers: Dark Ages, a nice show (shows?) that demands absolutely nothing from you during these our Quarantimes. If you enjoy the more unhinged end of the Daniel Radcliffe spectrum or simply want to laugh at some poop jokes, this show (shows?) is for you. This episode features a trademark Hot or Tall investigation and at least two teasers for upcoming episodes!

We're using the Force to channel ourselves into your podcast feeds this week with an old favorite, Nerducation! That's right, Kirstie watched another Star War and we're here to attempt to tell you about it with our usual attention to detail and respect for the lore. After watching nine films, we're here to bring the serious Star Wars insights, mainly: 1. Who fucks 2. Who should fuck 3. Is it dumb? Maybe? 4. The names are bad Don't forget to tell us what % Star Wars would be improved by Outlander Kisses by voting in our Twitter poll at @hatewatchwithus!

We are coming to you from The Great Quarantine of 2020 to talk about a very good thing that happened - the final season of Schitt's Creek! We've got lots of thoughts on character development, TV weddings, narrative arcs, and costume choices. We would also like to advise you against both purchasing a home without the consent of your partner, and singing, in general, at any time. Hopefully you, too, enjoyed this happy ending!

What happens when you come to recording night to discuss one film, but the universe delivers you a different mission? Is it destiny? Kind of like when you arrive to your first day of university and you bump into your future wife, who happens to have a life size poster of you on her wall? Today at Hatewatch, we are here to discuss the age-old questions, Who are they? and What is this?, as we watch not one but two(!) made for TV movies about the love story of Prince William & Kate Middleton. This episode features all of your favorites, including Kirstie and Kelsey Google A Thing, Hot or Tall, and requisite judgment towards Some Members of the Royal Family. If you know who any of these people are, please let us know via a review or tweet us at @hatewatchwithus!

911, what's your emergency? Uhhh....we've just watched the 9-1-1 franchise and we have THOUGHTS. We're coming in hot with toilet babies, Rob Lowe's journey of self discovery and skin care routine, a shocking number of jokes about the Google Campus, and plenty of white saviorism.

Things are getting weird in 2020 and we're coming at ya with some content recommendations to get you through self quarantine! First, wash your hands, then settle in for a grab bag of things to watch, things to avoid, Census PSAs, and Kirstie's soapmaking adventures. We also have a GLOWING review to discuss in detail, and Kirstie gets mad that Kelsey watched a movie without her (some things never change, even during pandemics). Watch them already! * Outlander * Battle of the Blades * Schitt's Creek * Below Deck Med & Below Deck Sailing Yacht * Grand Designs * Derry Girls (Derby Girls) * Parks & Rec * Friday Night Lights * Catastrophe * Succession Do not watch! * The Office * Friends * How I Met Your Mother Our 14 recommendations for 14 days of quarantine! 1. Halt and Catch Fire 2. Wings 3. Calming British reality TV - Great British Bakeoff, Grand Designs, Monty Don's Gardens, Coastal Railways with Julie Walters 4. Rewatches 5. Knives Out 6. Spartacus 7. Sanditon 8. Revolution 9. Greek content - Mamma Mia, Mamm

All crew all crew! Our preference sheet includes bad reality TV about boat crews so that means we MUST discuss Below Deck Sailing Yacht immediately. The thing about sailing is that it's different than yachting, and it's hard to say who spends more time on that distinction, the producers or us. Below Deck Sailing Yacht has problematic chefs, problematic chief stews, problematic crew couples, and problematic third wheel captain dads, so buckle up for a wild ride as we cut the engines and raise the sails!

We've got a custom cocktail of television for you this week: add one part Canadian skating spirit, one part Netflix What Have You Done, a dash of 90s figure skating opinions, and garnish with one brief husband cameo. This week we're bringing you the Canadian ratings juggernaut, Battle of the Blades, and the Netflix original, Spinning Out. Come for the acid wash denim ice dancing costumes, stay for shoe shopping plot twist.

Outlander season has returned, and in that spirit, we are bringing to you a spicy hot discussion of a spicy hot man. That's right folks, we are embarking on our favorite pastime and diving into Sam Heughan's IMDB backlog this week. We watched Where the Starlight Ends, a questionable film featuring attempted American accents and also jorts. Then, as a treat, we watched The Spy Who Dumped Me, which will henceforth be referred to as Kirstie's Sam Heughan Sexual Awakening and/or The Time Kelsey Was Right. We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we enjoy the raw animal magnetism of Sam Heughan.

It's time to welcome back our oldest Hatewatch tradition, Pilot Palooza! This year, we are mostly disappointed in the pilots and ourselves, but we muddle our way through the Pilot Dumpster Fire of 2019. We discuss Russian Doll, Slings & Arrows, Gentleman Jack, State of the Union, Fleabag, You, and the pilot that chose us, Classic Mary Berry. If you liked this episode, please gift us a subscription to Acorn TV.

It's Award Season, and that means it's time for the 2019 Really Fucking Good Television Award Show For Nice People Only, and we are bringing BIG MEGXIT ENERGY to the party this year. These are complicated matters that will take time to work through, and here we are working through them together to bring you our wildest rides, favorite canadians, Li'l Hygge's Knitting Corner, and all your other favorite awards categories. Big winners this year were Schitt's Creek, Score: A Hockey Musical, and as always, Friendship. Make sure you play along with our new drinking game and drink every time we bring in the Queen's Megxit Press Release!

IT'S HAPPENING Y'ALL! We are here, being the Meghan Markle We Want To See In The World, and are bringing you our wall to wall coverage of #Megxit, aka: the pop culture phenomena that will single handedly get us through 2020. We are bringing you hot takes, a play-by-play of our work day as the news broke on Twitter, a preview of a drinking game for our next episode, and a very important game for your work day. We understand your desire to take a different approach to podcast coverage of #Megxit, but these are complicated matters and only we are taking the time to work through them, here, together, with our Sad Boi Sex Lions.