Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a sibling group? Join us for this interview with Deborah Bass Artis, MSW and Senior Program Director of Foster Care to Permanency with Children’s Home Society of NC.In this episode, we discuss:Why is it important to keep siblings together when placed for foster care or adoption?Advantages to adopting siblings.Special issues to considerThinking About Adopting a Sibling Group? Things to Consider FirstPractical Tips for Fostering a Sibling GroupIntegrating siblings with children already in the familyInvolve children already in the familyGet your support network in place before you adopt Suggested books for helping siblings understand adoption. Parentified childTips for handling a parentified child. Parenting Tips for a Parentified ChildOvercoming unhealthy dynamics from their pastOne child was the favorite in their previous family or families.Sibling rivalry When is it not a good idea to keep siblings together?Consider

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have a daughter who has dealt with trauma from consistent experiences of neglect and abandonment. While our home is loving and supportive, she continues to exhibit a victim mentality and has a hard time taking responsibility for her actions. She's a sweet girl, but she makes comments to others that insinuate she is not having her most basic needs met, which is simply not the case. How can we help her, and how should we be responding to her self-victimization? Resources:Creating a Family Online Facebook Support GroupHelping a Child Heal from TraumaSelf-Care for Foster ParentsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekl

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you really struggling with your adoption and feeling you've made a huge mistake? Listen to this interview with Lindsay Lanham, MSW. She works at Holt International and is the author of the online article “Predictors of Adoption Disruption and Dissolution: A Literature Review.”In this episode, we cover:Difference between an adoption disruption and adoption dissolution. What causes an adoption to fail? What causes parents to say: “Help, I don’t think I can continue this adoption?”Child-related factors:Child’s ageChild’s behavior Aggression or children who sexually act outAre sibling placements more stable?Adoptive parent-related factors:Demographic characteristics? (age, marital status, parenting experience, income, race)Parental expectationsParenting styleRelationship prior to the adoptive placementCharacteristics of parents in successful adoptionsAdoption professional-related factors:Identify problems quickly and provide supportHow to

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I've been an adoption social worker for almost seven years and just experienced my 2nd situation where the birth mother in a match had a stillbirth after selecting a family through our agency. Both situations were such a difficult loss for both parties. I'm curious if you've heard of others who experienced this unusually tragic type of loss during adoption. I'm not sure how common it is, especially given the rate of stillbirths is 1 in 175 births in the U.S. How can adoption professionals (on the adoptive parent AND birth parent side) best walk through such a situation with their clients? Resources:Creating a Family Online Support GroupHow can you deal with your feelings of grief after a stillbirth? (March of Dimes)Stillbirth: Surviving Emotionally (American Pregnancy Association)Find a Local Chapter - The Compassionate FriendsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.Creat

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you thinking about adopting a baby? Are you worried about what risk factors exist that you should know about? Join us to talk about these issues with Dr. Lindsay Terrell, a pediatrician at Duke University Medical Center and an Assistant Professor in their Department of Pediatrics. And James Fletcher Thompson, a South Carolina attorney with extensive experience in adoption. In this episode, we discuss:Lack of prenatal care.What is covered in prenatal care and how might a lack of prenatal care impact a baby?PrematurityWhat causes a premature birth?Prenatal exposureAlcoholWhat are some red flags that a mom might have abused alcohol during her pregnancy?Does the degree of impact differ depending on when in the pregnancy alcohol was consumed?What are the long- and short-term impacts of alcohol consumption on a child exposed prenatally?Creating a Family’s Prenatal Substance Exposure Workshop for ParentsOpioids List of opioid drugs in increasing d

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I've been listening to your podcast for a few years! Our 10-year-old kinship adopted daughter has lived with us since she was 2 months old. For a variety of reasons, there hasn't been any in-person visits or phone calls with her birth mom (my sister). Communication has been limited to holiday/birthday cards and gifts.  My sister has schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Because she has been stable on her medications and her behaviors are typically within a somewhat 'predictable' range, we're thinking it's time to begin an in-person relationship.  We're planning on writing a letter to my sister to tell her our thoughts on all of this and establish some ground rules and boundaries. After she has some time to digest that letter, my wife and I plan to meet with her in person (without our daughter) to firm up plans, expectations, etc.  My questions are:What are some generally good boundaries to set up? How

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do some kids survive a life of poverty, homelessness, abuse, and foster care and eventually thrive? We talk about courage & resilience with David Ambroz who is a national poverty and child welfare expert and advocate and the author of the memoir, A Place Called Home. He was recognized by President Obama as an American Champion of Change. Currently serving as the Head of Community Engagement (West) for Amazon, Ambroz previously led Corporate Social Responsibility for Walt Disney Television, and has served as president of the Los Angeles City Planning Commission as well as a California Child Welfare Council member. After growing up homeless and then in foster care, he graduated from Vassar College and later earned his J.D. from UCLA School of Law. He is a foster dad and lives in Los Angeles, CA.In this episode, we discuss:Poverty and Homelessness:His story.SchoolWhat made a difference?What should adults who encounter or work with homeless

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: This was a question from someone in South Dakota. She says, "I haven't listened to all your back episodes, but can you address ICWA, the Indian Child Welfare Act, as it pertains to adoption? I live in a state where the majority of children in foster care are Native Americans, and ICWA, the Indian Child Welfare Act, is confusing and divisive. At the end of the day, I just want the children I care for to be safe. I understand the reason for the law, but I hate when the comments on an ICWA story about adoption accuse foster care providers of kidnapping.Resources:Indian Child Welfare Law Center - ICWLC.orgChild Welfare Information Gateway - Info on ICWASupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings y

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a baby? To understand what is involved legally, listen to this podcast with James Fletcher Thompson, a South Carolina attorney with extensive experience in adoption. In this episode, we discuss:What are some of the differences in domestic infant adoption? Agency and independent (direct placement) adoptions.Relative adoptions. (grandparents, aunt/uncles, step-parent).Infants or young children adopted from foster care.In-state and interstate adoptions.Adoptions governed by the federal Indian Child Welfare Act.Adoption is governed by state lawDo the adoptive parents have to comply with the laws of the state where the expectant parent resides, where the baby is born, or where they reside?How do federal laws affect adoption?How does the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children affect adoption?What are some of the reasons parents make an adoption plan for their child?Some of the legal issues in adoption from the bi

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I have two adopted twin boys who are 8 months old, and we've had them since birth. We've been on the fence for years about a big move outside of the country, but we're currently leaning towards leaving. My husband and, by extension, our kids have dual nationality with the country we'd go to. Thankfully, I'm also allowed to tag along.We currently live near a large family and support network from both sides of the family and would be mostly on our own except for a few distant relatives after the move. We are also close and in frequent contact with our sons' birth family, but they don't live near us so that relationship has always been planned to be a mostly long-distance relationship.We would plan on setting aside funds just for visiting our family and our birth family every one or two years, but ultimately all our children's family relationships will become long-distance. We worry

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Join our discussion with Dr. Stephanie Bosco-Ruggiero. She has a PhD in Social Work from Fordham University and is co-author of the book Adopting Older Children: A Practical Guide to Adopting and Parenting Children Over Age Four.In this episode, we talk about:The greatest need in both foster care adoption and international adoption is to adopt kids 5 and older.  Adolescents have a bad reputation in general in our society and those in foster care or international child welfare institutions have an even worse reputation. These kids and youth may have challenging behaviors that will be hard to parent. (They also may not have challenging behaviors.)Why have they developed these behaviors? (grief and loss, trauma, mental health)What are some typical behaviors that are more difficult for parents?Tips for creating trust and attachment with older children. How to prevent these behaviors from influ

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My father-in-law was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and given a maximum of 6 months left to live. We learned this right before our home study for older child/foster care adoption was finalized. Do you have any advice for what we should do with our adoption process moving forward? I am worried if we match before my husband is done grieving, we could add additional trauma to the child, but there is no set timeline for grieving. How do we deal with our loss while helping a child get through their loss? Resources:Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource Page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings y

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting or fostering a child with Down Syndrome? Join our conversation with Dr. Sara Williams, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. She provides developmental evaluations and follow-up care for children with a variety of neurodevelopmental disabilities, including in the Thomas Center for Down Syndrome.In this episode, we discuss:What is Down syndrome?How common is it?What are the different types of Down syndrome? Is genetic testing routinely done when Down syndrome is suspected?What are some of the common physical traits of a person with Down syndrome? What are the common developmental disabilities caused by this disorder?What are the common intellectual disabilities caused by this disorder?Is there a way to know in advance how intellectually impacted a child may be? Do the symptoms differ depending on the type of Down syndrome the child has? What are the common ment

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My 4-year-old foster son moved in 9 months ago. He will likely remain with me permanently, and the application is in progress. I was his 5th foster home when he moved in. There was neglect at his birth parents and abuse in a previous foster home. Last weekend he was being babysat by my sister and brother-in-law. They went to the basement to show him a toy, and he saw a large dog cage they were planning to sell online. He was immediately triggered, ran upstairs, hid under the pillows in a bed, and it took 10 minutes to feel safe. He was obviously placed in a dog cage at some point. How do I support him, talk to him about what happened, and make him feel safe? How should I support him and help him calm his nervous system if he is triggered again? Resources:A Conversation with Dr. Bruce Perry About Trauma6 Crucial Things Every Adoptive Parent Must DoUsing Scripts to Build Trust with Foster & Adopted KidsSuggested Book List - Kids Who

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join our panel of four former foster youth to learn what they wished foster parents and others knew about being in foster care.In this episode, we discuss:Tell us the story of your involvement with foster care and the child welfare system.What was something that your foster parent(s) did that helped you cope?What did your foster parents do that made things harder for you?What are some of the myths that you hear about kids in foster care?If listeners are considering becoming foster parents, what should they consider to help them decide if they are the right fit to be foster parents?Resources:The Faces of Foster Care Volume 1, 2, and 3 Resources - Dave ArmstrongWhy Me My Fight For Life (Book)From Gangs To Greece (Book)www.SenseiDave.com (Speaking page)www.upna.net (Coaching/Mentoring)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: First, I wanted to thank you for your incredible podcast. I’m not a parent (I only recently graduated from college), but I have volunteered in group homes for foster care children for the past couple of years. Your podcast has not only helped me to work more effectively with the kids I see but has also given me insight into what I want to do in my career. I hope to research and work with families involved with the foster care system in the future, and your podcast has allowed me to learn from so many interesting and diverse perspectives. My question is: how do you balance giving children who have experienced trauma both a sense of control and structure? From the kids I’ve worked with, I’ve noticed that many of them tend to act out the most when they feel like they don’t have control. This makes sense to me, as I imagine almost all kids in foster care have had a severe lack of control in their lives. However, I’ve also heard that kids

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.If you are adopting or have adopted within the last several years you should join our conversation today about claiming the Adoption Tax Credit for 2024. Our guests will be Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill’s Tax Service; and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at Families Rising.In this episode, we cover:What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2024 federal taxes? What is a “credit,” and how does it differ from a deduction or tax savings?How would you use the Adoption Tax Credit if you get a tax refund every year?Should you still apply the credit to your federal income taxes if you don't have any federal tax liability?What types of adoptions are included or excluded? Are kinship adoptions covered? Are kinship guardianship arrangements covered? What if the child never was involved with the foster care system?Can you get credit for each adoption you co

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I adopted our now seven-year-old son from South Africa two years ago. He is the best. We cannot believe how lucky we are to have this joyful little boy in our family, and we owe much of our success to what we've learned from your show and resources, so thank you. Although our son feels pretty easy compared to some of the challenges we hear about, he still requires a lot. A lot of time, patience, energy, school appointments, doctor's appointments, therapy appointments, etc. In any case, we are now considering whether to embark on a second adoption of an older child three to six years old from South Africa. While I see a lot of resources for preparing siblings and managing birth order disruptions, which is not the case for us, we are wondering what parents of adopted kids should consider when deciding whether to adopt another child. For example, is it better for our son to have all of the resources, meaning time

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting a child this year? We've got answers to all (or most) of your questions. Join our discussion with Teresa Bernu, the Executive Director at Adoption Center of Illinois. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has worked extensively in the areas of domestic infant adoption, foster care, and guardianship. We will also talk with Steve Valdez, the Chief Operating Officer at Hand in Hand International Adoptions.  He holds a Master of Divinity and an M.A. in Psychology. He’s an adopted dad of 5 kids through foster care adoption.In this episode, we discuss:Domestic infant private adoption in the USWhat is the process?What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their children for adoption?Matching-Expectant parent choiceThe Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC)Open adoptionSpecial needs of children availableHow long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What f

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are licensed to foster/adopt, but there have been no placements yet. We initially thought our age preference was 2-6 year olds, but as we have gotten more information/education we think we may be a good home for teenagers. We have no children (adopted/fostered/biological) between us but this also means we have no one else in the home at this time. We are still interested in fostering (and adopting should the opportunity arise) younger children as well at some point. My question is would it be "better" for us to start with teens and move to younger children after the teens have left our home (for college, work, general adulthood independence) or would we be better prepared for teens after having younger children first?Resources:Becoming a Foster ParentFoster Care AdoptionWelcoming an Older Child to Your HomeSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org