Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join our discussion with an adult adoptee about her search for her birth family and her identity. We will talk with Julie Ryan McGue, a domestic adoptee and an identical twin. She is the author of Twice a Daughter, which explores her coming to terms with her adoption and her search for her birth parents, and Twice the Family, which explores more of her relationship with her adoptive family.In this episode, we cover:Tell us your adoption story.What role did adoption play, if any, in your childhood?Feelings of needing to be perfect.Fantasizing about birth family. When did you begin to search for your birth parents? Was searching for your birth family something you knew you would do from a young age?After considerable effort, you located your birth mother. At first, she said she did not want contact. How did that leave you feeling? After you had phone calls and met, you didn’t want to tell her much about your adoptive parents. How did your mom (yo

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How do you speak to family members about open adoption? My entire family supports my intention to adopt as a single parent and has been very excited and generous as I have been working towards becoming a parent. My siblings were both adopted and there is a history of adoption in my family, mostly closed adoptions like my brother and sister. I would say my parents were ahead of their time in how they spoke openly about adoption and really worked hard to make us all feel loved and special. They shared with my siblings as much information about their birth parents as they had and supported my sister even to seek out a connection with her birth mother. However, despite all of this my parents seem to question open adoption. Do you have any tips for educating parents and family members about open adoption? Resources:Adoptee Voices (Resource page)Interview with Pioneer Researchers in Open Adoption (Podcast)Open Adoption (Resource page)Suppor

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.We talk today with Sarah Naish, the CEO of the Center of Excellence in Child Trauma and founder of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents. She is the author of The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting and The A-Z of Survival Strategies for Therapeutic Parents. She is the adoptive mom to a sibling group of 5 who are now adults and she has fostered over 40 kids.In this episode, we discuss:Why are some kids harder to parent and why especially are kids who have experienced trauma, including prenatal trauma, often harder to parent?Understanding the cause of the behavior is the root of parenting harder to parent kids.Establish the basics to make their lives predictable so they can feel safe and grow and heal. The elements for establishing this base: RoutinesEstablish yourself as a safe base-empathetic and nurturing but in control Respond to the child, not to the child’s demandBe honest about their story, contact, etc. – be factual, but don’t fill in

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How can I support siblings who have been separated by foster care or adoption? How can I help them build long-term secure attachments?Resources:Sibling Relationships (Resource page)Working as Part of the Foster Care Team (Resource page)Creating a Family Online Facebook GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Children who have been sexually abused can heal. Join our conversation with Dr. Eliana Gil to learn how. Dr. Gil is the founder of the Gil Institute for Trauma Recovery. She specializes in the assessment and treatment of trauma in children, especially those who have been sexually abused. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Registered Play Therapist Supervisor, and a Registered Art Therapist.In this episode, we cover:What type of abuse is considered “sexual abuse”?Parents often don’t know before fostering or adopting or taking in their grandchild that the child has experienced sexual abuse. What behaviors might indicate that a child has been abused sexually?What kids are at greatest risk for being sexually abused? Brief refresher on typical psycho-sexual development in children without abuse and how sexual abuse can alter this.How does the impact of the abuse differ on the child depending on their relationship to the abuser?Childr

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: For someone who is looking to become a foster parent should they go with a public or a private foster care agency? Which is best?Resources:Choosing a Foster Care AgencyBecoming a Foster ParentWorking as a Part of the Foster Care TeamSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you struggle with getting your child to sleep? Join our conversation with Macall Gordon and Kim West, co-authors of the book, Why Won’t You Sleep?!: A Game-Changing Approach for Exhausted Parents of Nonstop, Super Alert, Big Feeling Kids.In this episode, we cover:This is not a newborn sleep training book. This is for those exhausted parents of kids from about age 1-6 who have tried it all and their child still won’t fall asleep easily or put themselves back to sleep when they awake in the night. Why are some kids just harder to get to sleep or harder to keep asleep?Why is sleep so hard for some kids?How does trauma impact a child’s ability to fall and stay asleep?What are the biggest sleep issues for these kids and what can we do about them?OvertirednessProblems with the lead-up to lights out (transitions and routine)Parent is a required part of the go-to-sleep and back-to-sleep patternPast inconsistency (trying a method then stopping too so

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I'm interested in adopting an older teenager (16 or 17). An agency worker shared that many older teens don't want to be adopted, and just want to age out of foster care. Is this true, and if so, is adopting an older teen a reasonable goal?Resources:Foster Care Adoption (Resource page)Adoptee & Former Foster Youth VoicesFoster Care (Suggested Books)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us for this interview with former NFL Running Back and Super Bowl Champion Ricky Watters. He is an adoptee, an adoptive dad, and author of a new children's book on adoption, A Gift Called Shane.In this episode, we discuss: How old were you when you learned you were adopted and how did you find out?When you discovered you were adopted, you mentioned in your NFL movie that it put a big chip on your shoulder. How has that chip served you well as an adoptive dad? How has it been a detriment?Why did you decide to adopt?Why did you decide to adopt internationally?Did your experience with finding out late that you were adopted affect the way you discussed adoption with your son?Do you see any signs of a similar “chip” in your son that you had when you found out you were adopted? How do you help him navigate it for his own success?How did you prepare your biological son for the adoption of his brother? How do you support your adopted son in h

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband Sean and I are here in Canada and early in the adoption process. We are looking at private infant adoption through an adoption agency.  My question is around getting ready. When we successfully match it is almost a certainty it will be with a newborn and there’s a 30% chance it’s a no-notice match and we have days rather than months to get ready. How would you recommend preparing? Do you think getting a crib, clothes, etc. is overkill? I’m a planner, so I love to be prepared!  Thanks!Resources:Suggested Books for AdoptionCreating a Family Online Support GroupTransitioning a Child to Your HomeSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Can our kids heal from all the hard things they've experienced? Is there something we can do to help? Join us today to learn about the power of positive childhood experiences with Dr. Robert Sege, the director of the HOPE National Resource Center at Tufts Medical Center. He holds a MD degree from Harvard Medical School and a PhD degree in biology from Massachusetts Institute of Technology.In this episode, we cover:What are some of the benefits to kids from having positive childhood experiences?You have identified four building blocks for positive childhood experiences. What are they and give us specific examples of what parents and caregivers can do in each block to promote these experiences? How do these positive childhood experiences differ by age of the child? Can positive childhood experiences mitigate the impact of adverse childhood experiences? How can we help our kids be more resilient?Are all stress and negative experiences in chil

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I were foster parents in the US, and have since relocated to Denmark for his work. We both still feel called to adopt from foster care, and would like to do that from the US. We know that the US and Denmark are both members of the Hague Convention, and can adopt from each other. You have great resources about international adoption, but usually from the perspective of a person in the US adopting from a foreign country. I'm wondering if you would consider doing a podcast episode on the process of a US citizen habitually resident in a foreign country adopting from US foster care. Resources:Foster Care AdoptionChoosing a Foster Care AgencyThe Creating a Family 3-Step Process for Choosing an International Adoption AgencySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & ki

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you planning to adopt or have you recently adopted? If so, you need to listen to this discussion about what to expect during the first few weeks or months you are home! Our guests are Michelle Kennedy and Deborah Artis. Michelle Kennedy has been a social worker with Methodist Home for Children for 27 years. She has direct care experience in residential and foster care services and has been working with youth and families in the foster-to-adopt process since 2005. Deborah Artis is a social worker and the Senior Program Director of foster care, adoption, and post-adoption with Children’s Home Society, where she has worked for 30 years. In this episode, we cover:Adopting a NewbornWhat are some common emotions when adopting a newborn?What are some common stresses when adopting a newborn?How may the revocation period affect the transition to new adoptive parenting?Expectations of extended family during this transition period.How do the stresses

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I adopted our nephews four months ago. The two boys are sons of my niece; she gave her kids to the Family Department five years ago, and last year, we at last knew about the boys. They've been a year with us. I have a daughter, 21, and a son, 17, who were okay with the adoption, but now they say they feel this is not their home; they don’t feel at peace in their house and think It was not a good idea to adopt, because of the hard situations with the kids. How can we affirm to our biological children that we did the correct thing to give the kids a family and that there is a process we must go through as a family to adapt?Resources:Sibling RelationshipsHandling Negative Impacts of Adoption on Children Already in the HomePreparing Children Already in the Home for AdoptionHow Does Adoption Affect Siblings Already in the HomeSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFa

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do your kids drive you crazy over the holidays? Does their behavior escalate? Join our conversation to learn why and what you can do about it. We will talk with Erin Nasmyth is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master’s in Social Work. She is the co-founder of Adoption Support Alliance, which provides services and support to adoptive families. She has worked in the public and private adoption and foster care system.In this episode, we cover:Is it common to see behavioral changes for the worse during the holiday season?What are some of the behaviors you might see that allow our kids to drive us crazy?What are some of the stressors that we may not recognize that cause these behaviors? New thingsNew peopleChange in routinesParental distractionPast history with holidaysToo much of everything-sensory overloadPractical ideas of how can we make the holidays smoother for our kids and for youIdeas on how to get our family onboard for makin

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I see that you have information regarding prenatal substance exposure. Is there information regarding biological mothers that hate their pregnancy or their baby, but carry it to full term and put it up for adoption? Are there resources that would address the emotional impact on the baby?Resources:Understanding the Birth Mom/Parent's ExperienceTalking with Kids About AdoptionRaising a Child with Prenatal Substance ExposureSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you wonder if your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? There may be nothing in the files, but something feels not right? We talk about diagnosing and treating these kids with Dr. Larry Burd, a professor of pediatrics at the University of North Dakota School of Medicine and the Director of the North Dakota Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Center.In this episode, we cover:Most of our audience is foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and professionals. Often they don’t know for sure if a child has been exposed. The US government estimates that about 10% of all children in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs. Do you have a feel for the percentage of children in foster care or who have been involved with the child welfare system? International adoption? Domestic infant adoption?Does prenatal exposure increase the likelihood of a disruption to a foster or adoptive placement?How is prenatal exposure to alcohol detected or di

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I will ultimately decide on whether to try induced lactation to breastfeed an adopted baby on other factors, but I would like to make my decision with my eyes wide open. I like my breasts as they are, but I have been told all my life that pregnancy and breastfeeding change the breasts (making the breasts saggy and the nipples larger). Do adoptive parents who induce lactation suffer from similar issues? I have also heard of mothers who enter a depressive state during breastfeeding. Can you outline any other negative side effects of induced lactation?Resources:Breastfeeding the Adopted ChildCreating and Cultivating Attachment with Your Adopted ChildPost Adoption DepressionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Fam

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Should you adopt a child of a different race? What things should you consider? Join our conversation with Dr. Gina Samuels, an adult transracial adoptee and a Professor at the Crown Family School of Social Work, Policy, and Practice at the University of Chicago. She is also the Faculty Director of the Center for the Study of Race, Politics, and Culture. Her scholarly interests include transracial adoption and mixed-race and multiethnic identity formation. We are honored to have Dr. Samuels as the Chair of the Creating a Family Board.In this episode, we cover:If you are a White parent, are there different issues you need to consider depending on the race of the child you adopt?Some families prefer to adopt a bi-racial child rather than a child who is all Black or all Latinx. What are the issues to consider?Is there a difference between transracial and transcultural adoption?What does it take to raise a child to have a healthy self and racial ide

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are nearing finalization of our five-month-old adopted son. We don't currently have any other children. Throughout our time in the adoption process, I have spent time learning about adoption trauma and the complexities of adoption. I want to be well-informed as our son grows up and aware of the difficulties he may face. However, my question is, are there stories of adoptees, especially males, who have experienced emotional health and emotional success in life? I have heard many stories, both about and from, adoptees who have challenges with identity, maladaptive behavior, and experiences with other trauma, which make them at risk for suicide, addiction and depression. Are there any adoptive parents out there who are doing it right, whose adopted kids grow up to be well-adjusted adoptees, emotionally healthy adults who can form good relationships? Is our child doomed for a future of emotional trauma and struggle?