Trends In Low Places

This week, we take a break from ruining your childhood favorites to ruin the Bloomin’ Onion. Sorry, they’re Satanic now. Michael invites everyone to a family exorcism, Cush lays plans to become king of Skynet, and we wonder how long it would take us to become jerks in Westworld. THE SAND MYSTERY DEEPENS. Highlights include: Love is dead, and Marvel Studios killed it. [1:05] #AaronsParty starts swinging. [4:20] Possibly the worst contraceptive of all time. [7:30] Science editors having a good time. [21:50] Looks like you're trying to destroy humanity. Want some help with that? [25:45] Green investments [35:20] Hipster barfights [44:00] Exorcism tomorrow? START PLAN. [47:30] Footsteps in frosting. [61:25]

This week, we bring a special guest onto the show to explore the Cushing family’s brush with a notorious Florida drug queenpin, Michael’s eyes are opened to the deeply Christian nature of every 90s rock band, and Cush connects the dot on the highly sexual global conspiracy emanating from the Hundred Acre Wood. The horrifying Bezos dog mill. [2:00] These cookies are so good I can’t feel my face. [10:40] Winnie the Pooh: Weibo hero, Illuminati member, and insatiable sexual deviant. [30:30] Hey asteroids, let’s bring it on back. Finish the mission. [49:50] Hater dater data. [54:50] Blessings from Dr. Coppertone. [60:15] Was there an owl? [64:50]

This week, Michael introduces a brand new fashion craze, Cush calls out the cowards of #DriveByDunkChallenge, and the great Atlanta sand mystery deepens. A raccoon meets a grim end, and we find the weirdest video on the Internet. We did it. Michael gets his giblets checked. [4:20] Let’s just not, HBO. [9:15] Sir, please turn off those headlights. [15:30] They see me (not) rollin’, they hatin’. [26:00] The sand mysteries. [28:25] Do you want rabies? Because that’s how you get rabies. [31:20] Well, that’s one way to fertilize an egg. [38:40] Spicey's Feisty Ice Heist. [51:30]

This week, the boys throw a grim #AaronsParty, revel in old commercials, and struggle to find sympathy for the skydevil. Mike takes payment technology to the next level, Michael brings your eyes to Flavortown by way of hell, and every listener owes us 1,000 hours of community service. Ha! Gotcha, suckers. The Game of Sheerans [1:15] #AaronsParty takes a dark turn. [3:45] 411, not just for olds. [8:00] Terms and Conditions? Never heard of ‘em. [13:05] Welcome to Skylaw, dummy. [18:55] Short, gross passwords. [27:00] Balloony Bin [34:10] It’s toilet time, a-holes. [41:30] The poop is out there. [44:35] Sunny Flavortown beaches. [50:15]

This week, we explore the Flat Earth civil war and geriatric social media. Michael introduces the world's most devious 10-year-old, Cush gets a hankerin’ for seitan, and we talk about punching kids for the 5th episode in a row. Highlights include: Cush’s fun weekend plans [2:25] #Buttholegate [4:50] ‘Cause we’re all creeeeeps. [14:40] Crisis on Infinite Flat Earths [20:05] Voice-to-Tweet Technology [27:05] Cards Against Your Childhood [33:20] Needledick Penisgun [35:55] Celebrity crushbones [43:45] False flag murder diary [52:00] #Disguisting #allwomen [64:25]

This week, Michael returns from the beautiful Greek isles to…this whole mess. The boys talk in depth about which children they could defeat in single combat, Cush expands your penile workout regimen, and we lament Ed Sheeran’s exit from Twitter. What’s On Weibo makes a tasty return. Bronzed Greek god [3:00] A helicopter dick for the modern era [12:00] Got a case of the munchies. [28:15] Magnum Pleasure Pop-Up [34:10] Taste the Racebow [45:20] Fancy a biscuit? [51:30] Clash of Kids [54:00] Dogmergency [63:00]

This week, Cush stumbles upon a glitch in the Matrix and Michael comes to a stark realization about his tolerance for haunted children. We explore the secret history of the Bible, the imperfections of modern technology, and lament the kickboxing Predator that could have been. Somehow, we forgot to talk about porn AGAIN. Highlights include: The right time to punch your child [5:30] A cold key is a safe key [7:55] Alexa, I'm drunk - buy everything. [13:35] A glass half deadly [16:35] A sweaty, splitty mess [22:30] Jurassic Park Genesis: Origins – Noah Begins [33:15] The worst Uber Pool [39:10] Sommelier all the things [46:25] I believe in the sand beneath my toes. The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling. [56:45]

This week, we talk about onion ring conspiracies and start a fight with the whole dang animal kingdom. Michael introduces some real tight swimwear. Mike pitches a new pastime for bored rich people. We get in touch with our animal roots. Highlights include: The Ghost Babysitter's Club [2:00] Lorde of the O-rings [10:20] Pig with a full tummy. [16:05] The strength of 5 go-rillas! [28:15] How Now Chocolate Cow [30:30] Comey, Comey, Comey Chameleon [34:00] Nice, tight man nips. [41:10] Billy Goat Gruff [48:50] Ninja Chronicles [75:00]

This week, a listener submission turns into the horniest episode in this very dumb show’s history. Michael introduces the world’s favorite sex positions. Cush goes all-in on new chicken-ordering techniques. The boys explore the conspiracy at the end of all things. This episode contains: a lot of faces and a heaping helpin’ of porn. Turns out insects are animals. Who knew? [2:10] The Vin Diesel roleplaying experience. [5:30] We are all on James Deen’s face. [12:15] Pornhub’s big, hard data. [19:30] Gotta stay butt to butt. [25:20] What’s the J for? [29:20] KFC meddling with forces beyond its understanding. [33:00] The Vin Scully of Sex Commentary. [37:00] OK, now simulate a universe with penis bones. [41:30]

This week, the boys pull out all the stops and deliver potato-quality audio for their 25th episode. Michael explores innovative bacon options. Cush joins the ranks of chain-hating Millennials. In this week’s conspiracy theory, we crack the hollow shell of the Earth to explore its deepest mysteries. Back in the saddle. [2:20] The high price of Tom Hanks endorsements. [6:25] It’s getting hot in here. [9:15] This candy idea has legs. About 8 of them. [17:00] No thanks, Bill Maher. [26:00] Finally, a Millennial cause I can get behind. [33:45] Dudebro barometer: use of female. [38:40] No Boys Allowed. [43:30] Welcome to Shamballa, surface-dwellers. [47:30] Your bits are buzzing. [64:00]

One of our good, good boys was hunting raptors in Scotland this week, so Michael brought it some special guests to help him out. We did a real interview with one of the founders of the RompHim, and he pretended to like all of our design ideas. We closed out the show with some listener questions, where Michael was sure to remind everyone that penises do not, in fact, have a bone, Curtis reveals his childhood plans for world domination, and we make a plea to Sam Muthafuqqin Jackson.   Curtis makes his long awaited return! [0:45] RompHim? Damn near killed him! [2:50] Listener Questions! [38:35] Be sure to check out RompHim.com for more information about the RompHim!

This week, the boys unashamedly become a conspiracy theory podcast. Cush explores the surge of power married people feel at the reins of a single person’s dating app. Michael investigates the horror that walks among us. Everyone learns a thing or two about the depth of human stupidity. Don’t Ken Bone the Rock. [2:25] Slipped a disc there, huh?. [8:35] Chicago continues to be the most dangerous city in America. [12:45] Sand and pee buddies. [18:05] Overlords from the great beyond. [22:20] Just a deep misunderstanding of physics. [41:00] Your Honor, may I please heckle the bench? [48:15] Ride the R2D2 lightning. [52:00] Shitty First Dates. [54:35] Sapiosexuals. [61:30]

This week, the boys take a shot at the original king of the male romper. Cush steps to the wrong side of history to defend Nickelback for some reason. Michael introduces two very insane conspiracy theories and receives assurance he’s just the prettiest boy. Shockingly, we talk a lot about butts again. Ghost riding your own whip. [1:45] The worst of men’s fashions. [3:40] Bros and Butts. [8:55] The gross laws of attraction. [19:40] Marry me! [25:35] I’m just an impostor boi. [34:20] A Poorly Thought Defense of Nickelback. [41:00] I’ll take one art, please. [48:15] The Finland Conspiracy [58:20]

The boys are back in action to chat drinking leagues, bad names for genitals, and the darkest secrets of our parents. Michael doesn’t trust our criminal jiu-jitsu system. Cush takes a trip among the stars and demands a Bill Clinton Animorph Experiment. We talk about being naked for maybe too long? Drinking league aggression. [1:35] No more front-bottoms and wee-wees. [7:40] A time and place to be naked. [17:20] Falconry, the sport of sexy presidents. [25:30] Kill me, Jason Statham. [34:35] Tim Gunn, deadliest man alive. [37:40] Very bad things, RV-style. [44:40] The price of infidelity. [54:20]

This week, the boys celebrate Ja Rule’s return to the public eye and mourn our lost opportunity to sell dumb stuff to Instagram kids. Cush delves into the great Shaved Cat Mystery of 2017. Michael breaks down a meaty feud between Portland strip clubs. We all yell about “woke” commercials. The summer’s hottest jams.  [3:00] Fyre away! [8:45] Fake Woke Brands [17:45] Naked & Afraid: Honeymoon Edition [27:20] Get paid, Barack. [34:25] Trump parodies…but why? [38:00] Shaved kitties and Dane Cook. [42:30] Vegan Strip Club vs. Steakhouse Strip Club. [50:40] Pee and Primanti Bros. [63:00]

This episode starts with Cush whiffing hard on pop culture and goes downhill from there. We investigate eels where the sun don’t shine, Michael tracks down the sickest beats on the planet, and Cush gets pretty worked up about British people. The boys talk a lot about butts, poop and murder. So... pretty standard episode. Smart Cities and Soft Lumber. [2:00] Eels in your bumbles. [6:00] Home witchdoctor remedies. [12:30] DJ Geriatric. [19:15] Marsupeople. [25:20] Big Parasite’s Tourism Play [29:05] Fun with nuclear reactors. [33:50] Y’all basic. [40:10] Juicegate. [45:10] Lock it up, Britain. [52:30] Faux terrorism and just a real big damn dog. [57:40]

This week, the boys weigh the benefits of flying dildos. Michael wonders why Gwyneth Paltrow wants to shove bad things up vaginas, Mike relives tragic Easter memories, and we examine the darkness that lies in the hearts of men. No big deal. Uranus. Hehehe. [3:35] You’re a smart feller, I mean a fart smeller. [7:00] Cards Against Humanity, the ultimate barometer of cool. [7:55] Internet vigilantes, leave it to Liam Neesons. [10:00] Dildo all the things. [13:10] Easter grudges linger. [17:20] Back on that grind(r). [22:00] Looking for jade in all the wrong places. [28:12] OK Google, give me an Angry Cyanide Whopper. [33:30] Somehow a worse Donald Trump. [40:20]

We watched Fate of the Furious, and y'all...well, we weren't sober. Please enjoy this rowdy breakdown of the newest installment of the finest movie franchise of this, or any, generation. Alternative episode titles include: Diesel Team One, Mr. Diesel If You Nasty, and Punching You In the Dick All Day.

This week, the boys discover there’s such a thing as too much bacon. Cush introduces your favorite new phrase. Michael explores Canada’s strategic porn reserve. Our Shanghai field reporter issues her first communiqué, and it’s killer. Everyone gets a Bible lesson. Sean Spicer’s Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Press Conference [2:40] Choke artists unite. [6:50] #JasonSegelEatMyFace [8:20] Berenstain Bears and Too Much Bacon. [14:40] Highly skilled Chinese labor. [22:01] Tuna – it’s in your mouth. [26:30] Breakup music. [34:15] Preserving Canada’s rich cultural heritage. And sex comics. [40:00] Crucifixion, you know for funsies! [46:40] The next wave of Biblical edutainment. [53:40]

We finally pulled off a live show, and it’s a banger. We talk about crackheads, the restorative properties of Publix chicken tenders. Michael investigates the greatest heist of all time. Cush betrays a severe misunderstanding of science, which should not surprise long-time listeners. The boys advocate healthy pee habits. Chicken tendies cure all ills. [1:45] The Highway Collapse of Northern Aggression. [3:05] #shotsfired [7:15] The sweetest crime in history. [9:03] The last action punchboy. [26:00] Flapjack failures. [28:50] The fanciest, dumbest fruits. [34:45] What are you doing, Yahoo? Just what are you doing? [45:00] The tricky side of male contraceptives. [47:20] Hit me with that creamy filling. [56:50]