Modern Manhood: The Podcast

If you look back at the 2019-2020 hockey season, it should be really eye opening to anyone who considers themselves a hockey fan. First came the misdemeanor charge for Auston Matthews, who intimidated a female security guard. Then came the firing of Mike Babcock and then the revelation of this toxic intimidating mind games towards his younger players, then came the revelations that Flames head coach Bill Peters used racist language towards a player of color, Akim Aliu. He was also fired from his job. Then came the firing of long time broadcaster Don Cherry after his xenophobic comments. Then came the racist zoombombing of black hockey player K’andre Miller. And now the Leipsic incidents All of these incidents can be looked as isolated, in the moment, and not indicative of what the “culture” is like. And many have chosen to look at it that way, unfortunately. Another way to see this is the symptom of the culture that hockey, and dominant sports fandom creates. The toxic, racist, misogynistic culture that cont

Ask people to define what Positive masculinity is? Well, you’ll get a variety of answers, from being virtuous to being self-reliant, but not too self-reliant; being emotionally open, being a good father, or being a good partner. It gets confusing, especially if we’re looking for examples! There’s a lot! But I get why we as men who really want to relieve ourselves from toxic masculinity want to look for what is positive masculinity. We want to be better, we want to be the opposite of toxic. At the same time, we get stuck with the definition. I believe there’s a reason for that. There’s a reason why we turn ourselves in knots. I’m here to tell you that there isn’t any labels for positive masculinity.  Links: Raewyn Connell: http://www.raewynconnell.net/p/masculinities_20.html Men's Lib Discussion: https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/cvau9g/lets_talk_about_positive_masculinity/ New Masculinity Same as Old Masculinity: https://medium.com/the-establishment/meet-the-new-masculinity-same-as-the-old-masculinit

CW: Talk about Suicide On today's edition of Cold Takes, Veronika and I talk about the economic impacts for men and women in regards to COVID-19 and how it aligns with the genders. As well we went on a deep dive on the movie 'The Platform' (get it). Articles discussed: The Platform: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlfooqeZcdY Gender and The Economy: https://www.gendereconomy.org/primer-on-the-gendered-impacts-of-covid-19/ Gender Based Violence Stats - https://canadianwomen.org/blog/covid-19-pandemic-gender-based-violence/ Hasan Minhaj and Anand Giridharadas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS9CFBlLOcg

COVID-19 affects the aging population at a greater risk than it does anyone else. Self-isolation we hear time and time again is not so much for us not to get the virus, but it’s so we don’t transmit it to the aging population who are at a higher risk to die. So for this Modern Manhood, you will hear from three aging males tell their stories of their life and the struggles they may face before we even knew about the coronavirus. Articles: https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2020/3/27/21195762/coronavirus-older-people-quarantine-loneliness-health https://www.vox.com/2020/3/12/21173938/coronavirus-covid-19-social-distancing-elderly-epidemic-isolation-quarantine

In this episode of Modern Manhood, we're going to start something new and hopefully something continous. A way of reacting to the news cycle and having some fluid conversations with someone who is not only a good friend, someone who came up in the volunteer space around gender about the same time. Introducing "Cold Takes" a space to talk about articles and everyday life with my co-host Veronika Ilich, coordinator for Next Gen Men. In this episode, we talk about BBC report about worldwide UN gender studies. And another report where it showed mothers being more unpleasant about little boy's emotions than fathers.

For the 100th episode of Modern Manhood, I want to think about the future. I asked people from the r/MensLib and Next Gen Men community to send me recordings of what they think the future of masculinity would be like. And you will hear my thoughts on the future of politics and culture in regard to gender. As well as ponder about the end of gender.  Everyday Sociology article: https://www.everydaysociologyblog.com/2018/06/the-future-of-gender.html MM100 Party!: https://www.facebook.com/events/614647642701514/

Cleo Stiller is the writer of Modern Manhood: Conversations about the Complicated World of Bring a Good Man Today, and we had an awesome chat about the book Modern Manhood, (obviously our values align here) and where the conversation about some of these tough issues around gender begin, and where we can go.  As well, there is a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT You can find all of Cleo's work at cleostiller.net

(CW: Sexual Assault) I know of Kobe Bryant. I know the titles, I know the 81 points, I know when he wanted to be called Black Mamba like in Kill Bill, I know the commercials, I have even said “Kobe!” when I shoot paper basketballs at garbage cans. I also know about the rape case, I know about Denver, I know about the trial, and I know about the arrest.  What is appropriate to say at these times? And why can’t we say the full story, the full complexity of humanity?  Think Progress Piece: https://thinkprogress.org/the-legacy-of-the-kobe-bryant-rape-case-6a42f159be7b/ Jessica Valenti: https://gen.medium.com/why-do-mens-legacies-matter-more-than-women-s-safety-b832c43735e9

Today, we speak to writer Barrett Swanson, who attended an EVRYMAN men's retreat and wrote about it for Harper’s for a piece titled "Men at Work". He will tell us through his eyes, what some of the red flags, emotionally, physical, and sociological groups like EVRYMAN can be.  You can find Barrett at: https://www.barrettswanson.com/ Men At Work you can read here: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/58fa0c831b631b196e64ad3a/t/5dd970c38f514102b43bcab7/1574531272477/Swanson+11-01-19.pdf  

On the last episode of Modern Manhood, we surveyed the landscape of masculinity in the last ten years starting from Tony Porter’s Man Box and the election of Rob For all the way to end of 2017 In this episode, the first of 2020, we continue the conversation with Jake Stika, Executive Director at Next Gen Men, highlighting what caused ripples in the world of gender and masculinity.  Starting from Van Attack in Toronto all the way to the Don Cherry firing, finishing off with what we think the next ten years will look like for us and this world

It’s been ten years since Tony Porter introduced The Man Box to us. A tool and a theory that has shaped the way we see gender with men, and the system that hurts us and hurts others.  But a theory is only as good as it’s proof of concept. And you can say that in the last ten years The Man Box theory has been proven over and over again. On this episode and the one after this of Modern Manhood, we’ll look back at the 2010’s with my friend and the Executive Director of Next Gen Men, Jake Stika. 

Lately, we have seen a lot of warnings. From moms, dads, from adults that are worried about their sons. Their sons, for the most part, are easily susceptible and can be easily manipulated into communities online that are toxic, unhelpful, and in some cases downright dangerous. Most of this is happening online, and for a lot of caregivers, they are fighting an everyday battle to just understand what is going in the digital lives of their sons. And right now they are losing the war.  In this special episode, I will show you the live talk that I did in front of an audience at the Diverse Voices conference about anti-violence here in Edmonton, Alberta. This is a community issue and one that must be faced by everyone, and I thought it was appropriate to bring to this conference. I also was lucky to be joined by Michael Hoyt from the City of Edmonton to talk about sorts of healthy communities, like Men Sheds. 

Learning about masculinities, gender power structures, and feminist ideals can be key when people are organizing to fight the climate crisis.  So in this episode of Modern Manhood, we’re going to take some of the beautiful speeches done at the Wolfpack about the environment, and weave it with ideas and thoughts about masculinity and the environment. Links: https://www.nationalobserver.com/2019/11/21/analysis/independent-alberta-would-be-worlds-worst-climate-polluter (Alberta, if they secede, would be the number 1 polluter per person) https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-resist-green-behavior-as-unmanly/ (men resist green behavior as unmanly) https://www.humansandnature.org/humans-nature-the-right-relationship (Humans and Nature)

The way Albertans reconcile with the Oil industry is a major way in which Albertans see their own identity, and the people who work in the oil patches are also in the crossfires and have been for ages. The rates of suicides went up, the rates of negative mental health have also gone up.  Today we talk to Dylan Rhys Howard, one of the directors for the documentary "Digging in the Dirt" which talks about these things. These are the un-talked about consequences of the oil industry. Un-talked about until recently. Links: https://www.buzzfeed.com/omarmouallem/oil-heartbreak-and-manhood (Oil, Heartbreak, and Manhood) https://www.nsi-canada.ca/2018/11/peak-oil/ (Peak Oil) https://dylanrhyshoward.com/portfolio/digging-in-the-dirt/ (Digging in the Dirt) https://www.thestar.com/calgary/2019/04/21/for-some-oilpatch-workers-a-sober-life-means-the-end-of-a-lucrative-career.html (Star-Metro)

Oil and Gas dominated the conversation for both elections here, and the people involved are caught in the crossfire. The workers who are mostly men have come to demonstrate the stereotype of Alberta men, the pickup driving, beer-drinking, hard ass.  Yet, they are just humans as well. How has this industry affected the men who work there, and affected the community around it? The way that we look at Oil in Alberta is very common to how we look at dominant masculinity.  Articles mentioned: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/04/alberta-canadas-tar-sands-is-growing-but-indigenous-people-fight-back/ (National Geographic) https://www.pyriscence.ca/home/2017/9/30/boys-will-be-boys-albertas-toxic-oil-culture (Pyriscene) https://www.parklandinstitute.ca/how_gender_and_race_shape_experiences_of_work_in_albertas_oil_industry (Parkland Institute) https://www.policyalternatives.ca/publications/monitor/extractive-populism-and-future-canada (Canadian Center for Policy Alternatives)  

Two months ago we talked about mentoring young men here at The Pint for Wolfpack. We're going to hear from a school counselor and a person from Big Brothers and Big Sisters about mentoring young men. Young men are feeling much more anxious, there is a lot more questioning of how men quote unquote should be in society. And there’s also a lot more complexity in the world, which allows not only for more breathing room for being your own self, but there’s a lot more pressure to pick a self that you want to be. So the question around what it means to be a man, to me, breaks down to how do we treat our young boys? 

Fat. It was a word that I was called when I was a kid, and a word that I still get called, by myself. It was the constant barrage of images and messages of what it was to look like a man. I wanted to examine why as men we’re very obsessed with not being fat. And the mental gymnastics people do to justify insulting people who are fat, and then insult themselves.

In this episode, we go through a personal journey of how I am reconciling my feelings on Junot Diaz and Michael Kimmel. As well wondering how far do we take issues of "cancellation." How do we separate the message from the man? Or do we not? Carl Landra and Veronika Ilich join me in helping me navigate these muddy waters.

We’re here in 2019 because the media created a monster. So much that being anti-racist and anti-sexual harrassment or using gender pronouns or talking about toxic masculinity is somehow a political thing. Or that we’ve come to the point where issues that I think are community issues is now a wedge between man vs woman or left vs right.  This type of media is not working anymore. And this media created a monster that platforms dangerous and troubling ideas. How is the media handling this? How is the media dealing with gender in a bigger case? We speak with Michelle Da Silva from Xtra to find out more.

We had an awesome Wolf Pack last time. It was our one year anniversary of Wolf Pack in Edmonton and we celebrated by talking about how work has a gendered lens to it. Either through the careers we choose, to the trouble we give to men and women who are not working their “traditional work roles." We wanted to hear from the people that have experienced both sides of the coin, and to try to get to the gritty knowledge of what it’s like to be in those roles.