Cinemasochists

Hey loyal Cinemasochists of the world! We're back! After a 6 month long hiatus, we decided to spice things up a bit and after many, many requests to do a video podcast, we decided to cave in and try it out. But that wasn't enough. We needed more. You DESERVE more! Instead of just a regular old "bad movie" pick like we usually do, we decided to do the marathon of all marathons......We are taking on EVERY SINGLE STEPHEN KING ADAPTATION! That's right. Not just the theatrical movies, but the made for TV movies, the many mini series, the straight to DVD films, even the TV episodes he wrote. There are about 1,456 adaptations*... We counted. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you Episode 1 of our "Stephen King Project" (as well as our very first VIDEO podcast)  CARRIE!  *slight exaggeration

Greetings everyone! After what we thought was the WORST valentine's day movie two years ago  (I Hate Valentines Day - http://cinemasochists.blogspot.com/2011/02/episode-28-i-hate-valentines-day-and.html) we decided to out do ourselves with something perhaps even worse... Heartbeeps is the "romantic adventure" of two robots in love and stars Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters.... No, I did NOT just make that up. Listen in for more!  LISTEN TO EPISODE 52 HERE!!

Hey gang! Happy New Year! After marathons and "special" episodes we're back reviewing what most of you might call a pretty random film. This slightly obscure gem is what some say helped kill Bob Dylans career (for at least a decade...)  "if you want to feel the heat, you've got to learn to play with fire" HEARTS OF FIRE! Directed by: Richard Marquand Starring: Rupert Evertt, Fiona and Bob Dylan

We did it! We finally freakin' did it!  Sure, we made it through 50 episodes, but more importantly, we made it through one of the defining films that make up the Cinemasochist mold......"Oh, hi THE ROOM!" Did we like it? Did we see past the irony? Did Lisa really tear Johnny apart? Find out in EPISODE 50!! 

We're back!! No, we didn't watch "We're Back; A Dinosaurs Story"but we did watch something almost as ridiculous... CATWOMAN! Halle Berry's turn as Catwoman was a unanimously reviled piece of celluloid. Does it hold up 8 years later? Does Anne Hathaway carry the Catwoman torch now? Did we LIKE this movie?? Listen in and find out, kids!  LISTEN TO EPISODE 49 HERE!

After cheating our way through 15 (uh-hem, 11) movies, we finally made it to what CNBC named the "BIGGEST BOX OFFICE BOMB" of all time, CUTTHROAT ISLAND! Now keep in mind this "marathon" took us a year and in the interim, at least 3 films have made this list. But for now, enjoy episode 48!  special guest: Denver Smith 

Episode 47 The Adventures of Pluto Nash "NASH IS TRASH" Mr. Box Office Poison - Eddie Murphy - brought his shenanigans to Mars with the help of a robotic Randy Quaid, Rosario Dawson and even John Cleese. The opposite of hilarity ensues... Actually, nothing ensues... Listen in to find out what we thought!

alrightalrightalright. We finally made it to the TOP 5!!! This is (as of a year ago) the fifth Biggest Box Office Bomb of all time! SAHARA! Matthew McConaughey gets tan and tanner and tanner before our eyes in this bloated action extravaganza. Penelope Cruz happens to be there too.... We discuss more current box office bombs, Clive Cussler readers and of course, we see if Sahara is redeemable enough to watch...Listen in!

The Biggest Box Office Bombs countdown continues with the action epic "The 13th Warrior" starring Mr. Melanie Griffith himself, Antonio Banderas. Based on a Michael Crichton book and directed by John McTiernan. Sounds promising, right?? Well....Listen in to find out

This weeks episode is number 6 (or 7?) of our Biggest Box Office Bombs marathon. What other movie has buried the careers of Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, Jenna Elfman AND Gary Shandling? None, except Town and Country....yuck.

Our "Biggest Box Office Bombs" marathon continues with the Wachowski Sibings' "Speed Racer" (2008)Emile Hirsch heads a cast that includes John Goodman, Susan Sarandon and Christina Ricci in this re-imagining of the famous Japanese cartoon series from the 1960's.

We skipped number 10 in the "Biggest Box Office Bombs" and went straight to number 9.Final Fantasy-The Spirits Within was a huge loss for Sony earlier this decade and we see why. Listen in to find out.We also explain WHY we skipped number 10 in the marathon.Listen to Episode 42 HERE!

This week we slogged through one of the worst zombie flicks ever (and thats saying a lot) and perhaps one of the worst video game flicks too! Erg. Happy Halloween, kids!

The witch is back! So sayeth the trailer for this horrendous sequel to The Blair Witch Project. I wasn't convinced the witch was even there and more importantly, there were no books and there were no shadows....Just sayin! We are taking a break from B.B.O.B. marathon for the month of October so we can indulge in some good ol' fashion horror crap! Enjoy Episode 40!!!

This episode happens to be our very first animated flick. Not on any of our radars, but necessary as part of our 15 Biggest Box Office Bombs. Number 11 of said series almost bankrupt Disney for about 5 minutes..They probably shouldn't have paid the Goo Goo Dolls for the horrendous tune featured in the flick.... Enjoy Episode 39, Treasure Planet!

Number 12 of our 15 Biggest Box Office Bombs marathon happens to be quite a fitting flick. In this recession, it seems the US Postal Service isn't doing very well. But what if, in a post apocalyptic world, it was in fact, the one thing that brings USA back together?????  The Postman, starring, directed AND produced Kevin Costner asks us that and a few other head scratchers. But more impressive, it puts you right to sleep... Enjoy episode 38!

It's been way too long, but we're back. And what a stylin' way to come back. ALMOST too fat Val Kilmer and Carrie Anne Moss star in the Mars-sploitation flick, Red Planet, which is #13 in our "Biggest Box Office Bombs" marathon series! Sean was not there this week, but Noah and Michael had help from the very funny Jared Galante.So, before you go see Apollo 18 this weekend, listen to Cinemasochists episode 37!

Michael and Noah wished for one-liners and Sean wished for "Dollman". Anything but what we watched this week; Kurt Russell's 1998 action-er, SOLIDER! This is #14 of our 15 Biggest Box Office Bombs, or BOB's for short... Enjoy episode 36, sir! Budget: $75,000,000 Gross: $15,000,000

This week we took a detour from the "Top 15 Biggest Box Office Bombs" or BBOB's to do a movie that may be close to many hearts, including our special guest; BLOODSPORT! Our guest this week was Daniel Gallai, co-director of the upcoming documentary about Frank Duks (JCVD's character in Bloodsport) called "Put Up Your Dux" If you're a fan of Bloodsport, you're gonna learn a lot more about the film then you probably need to! HA! Thanks, Daniel! LISTEN TO EPISODE 35 HERE!! "Put Up Your Dux" on IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1676180/

"Gobble Gobble" This is part 1 of our 15 part "Biggest Box Office Bombs" (or BBOB for short) marathon. Bennifer star in 2003's "Gigli"