Cinemasochists

This week, we get topical! After hearing the news of Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child, we went straight to netflix instant stream and thanked god we didn't have to spend money renting.....JUNIOR! Our guest this week is Noah Green! ENJOY!!

Lately we've been traveling down a road traveled by very few. It's uncertain how many have come out alive, but I know that after the experience of "Collision Course" I'm surprised we made it unscathed....At least I think we did. This is the pits, people. How was this ever made?? Check out Episode 32, but don't check out "Collision Course"...Please.

Popeye. Altman. Williams. Evans. Nilsson. Sounds great, right? Well, boy will you be red if you watch this. Listen to episode 31 first and find out what we thought of Robert Altman's 1980 Popeye. Special guest this week is Logan Crow of www.mondocelluloid.com andwww.lbcinema.org If you're a Long Beach native who loves film, you should probably know this guy!

Today we watched what might be the most boring action film ever. Not even director Kaos could pull through with a name such as his. Oh well. Listen in because this is a good one!  Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever

We decided to try something new this week. Aside from Jake not being there (we was missed), we watched a film that is not known for being baaaaad, just totally ridiculous; Zack Snyder's 2006 film, "300".

This was it.... The record breaker. "I Hate Valentine's Day" was chosen by our special guest Amy Claire and, boy did she pick a whopper!! Listen in and DONT see this movie! This stars Nia Vardalos of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" fame!  Happy V - Day!  check out Amy Clair online: http://www.missamyclaire.com 

This week we decided to take "the plunge" and watch the fourth best entry in the Jaws saga; Jaws 4 - The Revenge "This Time It's Personal"  Our guest this week (back for a third time!) is Noah Green!    

EPISODE 26: KANGAROO JACK (2003) A rapping Kanagroo, Chris Walken as Marlon Brando and Jerry O Connell skinny dipping. Sounds great, doesn't it? go to: http://cinemasochists.blogspot.com for more episodes and RECIPES for Kangaroo Jack and other terrible flicks. 

Recorded on at Echo Park Film Center on my (Sean's) birthday back in December, Episode 25 is a personal favorite. We lay into Tim Burtons beyond lackluster "Planet of The Apes" remake. As I say early on, it was quite a missed opportunity. If you have doubts, listen to this and go watch the original! Enjoy!  imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133152/ buy on Amazon....But, really...Dont. http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Apes-Mark-Wahlberg/dp/B00003CXXV    

This week watched Ang Lee's "emo" adaptation of HULK. After 7 years of gestation we decided to take a crack at it. Just don't make Jacob angry...You wouldn't like...him..

(SPOILER) - King Kong does NOT live.  This is one of the most nonsensical, ridiculous ones we've seen yet. Listen to the delirium set in after we watch over four hours of sub-par Kong. This is part 2 of our Dino DeLaurentiis "Kong" Double Feature. Enjoy! 

For the next 2 episodes we will pay tribute to the late, great Dino De Laurentiis by tearing into his two KING KONG films. First up, his expensive 1976 sexercised remake of KING KONG starring Jessica Lange, Jeff Bridges and Charles flippin' Grodin! We discuss sex, savagery and the seventies all rolled into one hairy episode! Enjoy and stay tuned next week for KING KONG LIVES! imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074751/ purchase on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/King-Kong-VHS-Jeff-Bridges/dp/6300216845

After a month long hiatus we're back! To celebrate Halloween we decided to watch the scariest vampire film of 'em all....TWILIGHT. Listen in and see what we thought...I bet you can probably guess even without listening what we thought of it.......HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

A lifeless comic book adaptation that may just put Frank Miller out of the DGA. At least Samuel Jackson had some fun. Enjoy the show!! The Spirit (2008) Starring: Gabriel Macht, Samuel Jackson, Scarlett Johannson written and directed by: Frank Miller

Duck puns, duck fu and duck porn all rolled into one ducking hell of a good time! or not...... Howard The Duck (1986) Starring: Leah Thompson, Tim Robbins and Jeffrey Jones Written and directed by: WIllard Hyuck imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091225/

To coincide with the release of "The Expendables" we decided to watch another Sylvester Stallone train wreck, "Rhinestone". Dolly Parton teaches Sly how to be a singing cowboy.......Seriously.    Rhinestone (1984)  Starring: Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton Directed by: Bob Clark  Written by: Sylvester Stallone imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088001/

This week we watched the fourth (and worst) of the 1990's Batman saga; Batman & Robin!! Uma hams it up, Arnold says the worst one liners humanly possible and Clooney is a bobble head.  Our special guest this week was Logan Crow from Mondo Celluloid! www.mondocelluloid.com Batman & Robin (1997) Starring: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, Chris O' Donnell, Alicia Silverstone Written by: Akiva GOldsman Directed by: Joel Schumacher    

The "Cage" is in full rage mode in this naughties remake of the 1973 classic British thriller! The Wicker Man (2006) Starring: Nicholas Cage Directed and written by: Neil LaBute IMDB PAGE

You freeze. You walk backwards. You DIE.....from laughter. Wowie wow, was this movie terrible. This week we "happened" upon "The Happening", M. Night Shayamalalalmaman's take on a George Romero movie. Jake insists on hating, although he's seen it 4 times. Sean tries to find good in it and Michael laughs.. A LOT.  The Happening - 2008 Starring; Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo Written and directed by; M. Night Shayamalan    imdb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0949731/

Jack Nichols-- I mean, Christian Slater plays George Kuffs; a womanizing, fast talking, public safety cop. Boredom and lackluster jokes ensue...Special guest this week is Noah Green!KUFFS - 1992Starring: Christian Slater, Milla JovovichDirected by: Bruce EvansWritten by: Bruce Evans and Raynold Gideon