Screeners Podcast

Despite the stunning lack of consequences for last year’s inaugural contest, the Screeners decided to go ahead with a second annual summer movie wager. You can find the “official” rules here (http://www.timetravelreviews.com/smp/Rules.html), but the basic idea is that everyone takes wild guesses at which summer sequel will make more money than other summer sequels. Put them in order from 1 to 10 and add 3 dark horse candidates. The more spots you pick correctly, the more points you get, and the winner...well, so far the winner’s gotten nothing, but presumably there’s something at stake. Chad promised everyone this was a good idea, so we’re doing it, but what would really make it fun is if you headed over to our Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/screenerscast/) page, contributed your own picks, and made fun of Josh’s. That’s entertaining for everyone. See you next time, when the Screeners will be back to movie reviews as normal, this time of the Alien sequel and the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. So many o

It’s been a few weeks since the last full Screeners episode, and somewhere in there, a new season of TV kicked off. First on the list for this episode is talking about all those new shows and seeing if the Screeners are watching any of them. Who knows; even the cord cutters might have something to say. Or maybe not; knowing Chris, he’ll just be rewatching Hannibal or something. After that, though, it’s on to the $145 million (http://variety.com/2017/film/news/box-office-guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-wins-1202411358/) elephant in the room. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is out, and no lackluster reviews can hold the powerhouse back (OK, so it hasn’t had too many to begin with). The Fast and the Furious “family” jokes almost write themselves, but they don’t entirely write themselves, and we don’t want to spend enough time thinking about Vin Diesel to come up with any, so we’ll spare you. Just know that if we did write one, it would involve praising how much better Vin Diesel’s vocabulary is in the Guardians of

As difficult as it was to type that title up there, we can only imagine how difficult it must be to actually watch the main topic of this bonus episode. Chris and Daniel took one for the rest of the team, though, and voluntarily paid money to subject themselves to nearly three hours of Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, some other people, and a submarine. They may be the only Screeners who saw it, but they almost certainly had company at the theater; Fate of the Furious has had the biggest worldwide box office opening ever (http://www.thedrive.com/news/9346/f8-of-the-furious-breaks-global-box-office-records). These are trying times indeed. Oh well; at least there’s a new Star Wars teaser (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB4I68XVPzQ). They’ll have to talk about that at least a little, right? Wrong. Sorry; there’s nobody here but muscle cars and their muscles.

The Screeners have a lot of ground to cover in this episode, even without much of a tentpole to cover in the main event...or anywhere else, to be honest. Stick with us here, though; there are still some surprises in store. First up, the guys (no Melody this episode, sadly) decided they had to talk about Power Rangers. Why did they decide this? No one’s really sure. Only half of them were even the right age to watch the original series, but somehow three of them made it to the theater for the movie, which has to just be a craven grasp at 90’s nostalgia, right? Right? OK, enough robot dinosaurs until the next Transformers movie (please let it be Dinobots...please). Next on the list is one of Netflix’s new Sundance acquisitions, The Discovery. This is one of those we-can’t-really-summarize-anything kind of movies except to say that it’s a metaphysical romantic drama. Vague enough? We thought so. Just in case we haven’t lost you yet, there’s still a main event! Scarlett Johansson was apparently tired of not shoot

Yeah, so the title up there may have given away the main event, but don’t skip straight there; we’ve got a couple things to get out of the way first. C’mon; there’s a new Marvel show—you knew the Screeners would at least mention it. They make no promises about liking it (or even that they’ve all seen it), but they’ll...mention it. Also, Stephen King’s Dark Tower book series is about to hit the big screen, and Chad and Melody can’t wait to tell you how worried they are about this. Wait; you haven’t heard the good news about Dark Tower? Well, sit down, because Chad has some knowledge for you. Next up: Disney’s making money (https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/19/movies/beauty-and-the-beast-clobbers-record-with-170-million-opening.html) dainty hand over furry CGI fist from its Beauty and the Beast remake, but is it deserved? Most of the Screeners were alive when the cartoon version was released, so they’re almost guaranteed to have biased opinions, but let’s hear them out anyway, shall we? After that main event, wha

Of all the space-and-alien-themed movies in theaters or about to be in theaters, Life is…certainly one of them. It’s debuted to thoroughly mediocre reviews, and its IMDB description includes no fewer than two superfluous commas, so we’re not going to reproduce it here. Chad and Daniel did see the movie, though, so check out this episode to find out if you should see it too, or if you can wait for Ridley Scott to release something else.

Chad told us to just copy IMDB descriptions for these show notes, but we’re pretty sure those are written by a thousand monkeys locked away in a room with typewriters somewhere, so we have an ethical problem using them.Anyway, Chad and Daniel saw Kong: Skull Island, and they wanted to talk about the experience for some reason. The best we can tell, the movie stars a disgruntled former Charlton Heston employee and a helicopter. Oh, and Loki’s in it, so that’s cool. We’re looking forward to a robust, nuanced point-counterpoint here, fellas.Also, half of Key & Peele wrote and directed a horror movie, and Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener are in it. We’re not quite sure what to do with that information, but there it is; this is a thing that happened. We don't think we'll need all of the Screeners to spoil the ending and tell you if Keanu the cat makes an appearance.

Marvel went and made another movie, so of course the Screeners had to talk about it. It’s another Wolverine movie, and there is a lot of Wolverine to go around. We can’t let too much info slip here, but let’s just say that Logan earned its R rating. That, and we’re starting to see cracks of light in the previously impenetrable wall of the superhero genre, in more ways than one. You may have already caught Daniel’s review on Facebook, but join him and the rest of the male Screener contingent as they take a deeper dive into Hugh Jackman’s ninth (you heard us) appearance as Wolverine.

If you have a podcast that’s even remotely about movies, it’s a rule that you have to cover the Oscars. They take away your podcasting license if you don’t (or so we’ve heard; we’re too afraid to try it and see). Jimmy Kimmel presided over a...unique ceremony this year, and the Screeners of course have opinions about it. Or at least 4 of them do; Josh forgot to even fill out his scorecard before the show. This is our surprised face.Speaking of scorecards, though, we had some great responses to our Facebook survey, despite Daniel’s best efforts. Some of our listeners even beat a few of the Screeners—we’re sure Chris has a good excuse, though, and we’re totally not going to fire him.There’s plenty to talk about in the fancy dress and botched award category, but that’s not all we have for this episode. A lot of TV shows have slipped under the podcast’s radar this year, but that doesn’t mean the Screeners haven’t been discovering some great ones. Our second segment is full of recommendations and mini-reviews of s

This episode’s Jump Cuts segment was sparked by an innocent tweet from Daniel. He thought he’d post his list of picks for Best Picture for the past few years just to, y’know, put it out there since the Academy Awards were coming up. Chad, however, has never once had the instinct to leave well enough alone. He decided the Screeners should re-re-litigate Daniel’s (and the Academy’s) choices, so here we are.Oh yeah, and after the fun times are mostly over, there’s a bit where the hosts give their picks for this year’s Oscars, but that’s not really the lead story here.The main event is a bit more kid-friendly—or at least that’s what Warner Bros. wants you to think; if you take the kids, they make more money. The Lego Batman Movie might not have the melodrama of a Pixar movie sown up, but the jokes are certainly firing on all cylinders, and they run deep in this one. Come for the self-referential humor; stay to see if Chad can somehow make Daniel’s opinion sound wrong in this segment too.And after that, something

It’s February, and the whole country’s fresh off the most exciting football game in history (or so we’re told), so the Screeners have decided to get together and talk about—what else?—commercials. The “big game”, or whatever the NFL’s suing people into calling it this year, is supposed to be a lodestone for quality adverts*, but were the famously expensive spots a slam dunk this year? Fox allegedly cried foul on at least one of them, refusing to air it, but maybe someone else hit a home run. Join the hosts as they talk about what the big brands served up this year. Hockey. OK, now that we’re done with our segment on commercialism, let’s talk about fast food. Michael Keaton hasn’t made much of a splash with his role as Ray Kroc in The Founder, so why would the Screeners review it, you might ask. Well, we’ll tell you. No one wanted to see that movie about the kid from Mars. That’s why. Some of them thought The Founder might actually be a good movie, too, but it was mostly the Mars thing. Sometimes the simplest

To start things off tonight, we heard there were some award nomination thingies recently. The...Lloyds? The Jeffs? No; it has something to do with a..dumpster? Trash? A trash can! That’s right; the Oscar nominations were announced. Surely the Screeners have something to say about those, right? Well, at least Daniel must.Award shows always make a great first round, but the episode’s main event is M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie, Split. As you may have heard, M. Night Shyamalan films tend to have something in common. No, it’s not being hated by Josh (that category’s far bigger than just Shyamalan’s movies), but good guess. The thing they have in common is that they’re impossible to summarize in show notes for...reasons. Any attempt to do so reads like a lazy BuzzFeed headline: “An almost-bald guy locks some girls in a cellar. You won’t believe what happens next!” And so on.Anyway, pretend our summary was slightly less lazy. Shyamalan’s last two movies have been a great one-two punch at people suffering from m

For anyone paying attention to...just about anything last year, the best way to describe 2016 might just be, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Unless, of course, you’re Josh, who doesn’t know if he’s seen a “best of” anything just yet. Anyway, 2016 certainly had its low points, but the quality of cinematic releases wasn’t one of them. There were some standout films last year, and the Screeners have made it their mission to find as many of them as they can. This episode is...the Best of 2016.Longtime listeners know the drill here, but if you’re new, you’re, um, not that far behind. It’s your basic top-ten countdown list, with the caveat that only Daniel has seen every movie released in 2016, so he’s the only one who can make a proper list. We think he might be living in a theater; frankly, we’re worried about him. We’ll put the lists below for anyone who happens to be a fan of spoiling their own surprises (you’re the kid who broke into Dad’s office just so you could find out if you got tha

This episode just might set a record for the Screeners’ most popular main event...if you judge the popularity of episodes based on the popularity of their topics, at least. That’s how we do it, and we’re entitled to our opinion. It’s another double feature this time, and what a combo: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and HBO’s new (remade) hit Westworld.Rebellions are Built on Franchising (or was that the other way around?)So Rogue One is “officially” a Star Wars movie, but something about the marketing and the whole “we get a new one every year now” thing hits a sour note with some people, one or two of the Screeners included. They’re an open-minded lot, though, and they’re willing to give Disney a shot to turn side-plot off-year releases into watchable cinema. Did they deliver this time?What if the Only Thing That Makes Us Human Is Wondering What Makes Us Human?Another franchise connected to J.J. Abrams? Fine, Chris, but next time we’re talking about someone else. The guy’s going to get a big head. Anyway, most

So...last time we said we were going to review Moana and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, right? Well, it’s officially the Christmas season now, so by law you have to forgive us for only getting around to talking about one of them. Come on; Santa’s watching.Disney might be following a well-trodden path as far as Moana’s general story arc goes, but the movie marks the furthest they’ve gone yet down the cultural diversity road. Moana is not only a strong female lead, but she’s Polynesian, and Pasifika cultures are pretty underrepresented in film. Disney even brought in a cultural advisory counsel to help the decidedly non-Pasifika writers get things right. But was it enough? You’re really here to find out if Chris cried during the movie, so let’s get on with that part, shall we?Remember a paragraph or so ago, when we reminded you it was time to start Christmas shopping? Maybe this episode’s Top 3 can help you stuff some stockings—the Screeners decided to cover “vaguely Christmas movies”, or movies that

This episode will be a little light in the notes area—the first segment has been jettisoned for a longer discussion of Arrival, and the Screeners are doing their best to not tell you anything specific about the movie. The only thing we can reveal here is that Josh has a background in linguistics...and if you think it makes no sense to mention that here, then good; we’ve done our job. Come back for the spoilers section later; you won’t be disappointed. Then again, you might be very disappointed. We’re not in the business of guarantees.There’s still a final segment, though:  In a totally unexpected bit of thematic consistency, this episode’s Top 3 is “Go in blind”, or movies where the best experience hinges on the viewer not knowing anything about the plot when they start watching. There are some good ones in here, but by naming them, we’ve probably ruined them. Oh well; you’ve probably already seen them anyway.OK, that about does it. See? Short. As always, join the discussion over on Facebook (especially

This episode boasts not one, but TWO reviews. Two reviews, and a top 3. We’re not sure what more you could ask for*, so let’s jump right in.First up is Christopher Guest’s new Netflix-only offering, Mascots. Guest is famous for his mockumentaries, but how long can his streak last before the format gets old? Surely a topic like this is a home run, right? And by “home run”, we mean to imply that team mascots are the only reason anyone watches baseball (right?).There’s Nothing Strange about Piles of CashFor their main event, the Screeners couldn’t help but talk about Marvel’s latest cash cow, Dr. Strange. Well, Chris couldn’t help but talk about it, but that wasn’t entirely unexpected, now was it? Sherlock gets magic powers from a mysterious white woman in the middle of Nepal; what’s not to love? We feel like there were some nods to Harry Potter in there too, but maybe the trailer for the JK Rowling movie with Stephen Hawking in it just colored our perception. We had a very...disorienting time at the theater, in

...no, we’re not talking about a remake of National Treasure, but wouldn’t it be great if we were? That’s the movie they need to remake. Why has noone done this?Ahem. To mix things up this time, the Screeners are doing two reviews and a game. Or...one mini-review, one full review and a game. One short review, one really long review and a game? Um, whatever; there’s going to be a game at the end.First on the docket is Jack Reacher: Never Go Back. With a title like that, the jokes write themselves. So does the script...but maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. Someone might have liked watching Tom Cruise punch and kick things. He even has a couple female sidekicks, so the cast is diverse and everything. At least, we’re guessing that was part of the pitch to the studio. Anyway, everyone paid to see it, so they’re going to talk about it. For a little while.From Laughable to the Exact OppositeInstead of giving a Tom Cruise movie the satisfaction of being the main event, the Screeners called an audible and d

Another summer, another gap in Screeners programming and subsequent half-hearted apology. Some people went out of town, some people stayed in town but didn’t feel like recording episodes when Chad wasn’t around to edit them, and some people...are Josh. We don’t really know what his deal is. He might have just been asleep for the past few weeks.Anyway, everyone’s back now, so they thought they’d share what they’ve all been watching but not talking about for the past month or so. There’s a little something for everyone in this episode—as long as you like either TV, movies, or video games. There will be no summer book recommendations; we think the Screeners may have stopped reading altogether after that review of Ender’s Game a couple years ago.Can We Call it a ‘Main Event’ if There Are Three of Them?Maybe they’re just a little over-ambitious, but the Screeners thought a catch-up episode should include full reviews of all the movies they meant to record episodes about but never got around to. They’ve managed to

This episode lies somewhere in the nether regions between bonus and full episode. We have more than just a movie review, but only three Screeners showed up, so we’ll see how long they can keep the conversation going (spoiler alert: with these three, we could be here awhile after all).Mental Health Advocates Just Love the TitleSo...Suicide Squad is set in Batman’s universe, but it’s not quite a Batman movie because it's not about Batman. A lot of the familiar bad guys (and some unfamiliar ones) are in it, though, except they’re the good guys now. There’s presumably a lot of shooting. That about covers it, right? Well, at least 3 of the Screeners got to see it, so we’ll leave it up to them to say whether we forgot any details.And in honor of the most hardcore Harley Quinn we’ve seen in the franchise so far, this episode’s Top Three is about the hosts’ favorite female action heros. We look forward to Chris mansplaining the character development in Alias.We’re sure there’s some kind of argument to be had about Su