Screeners Podcast

...does humanity still get enslaved? What better way to celebrate American independence than by trying to milk some more money out of a 20-year-old hit movie? That’s what Fox thought, anyway—unfortunately, though, Josh isn’t much of a patriot, and Melody had other things to do, so only Chad, Chris, and Daniel saw Independence Day: Resurgence. Based on box office numbers, though, that’s a higher percentage of Screeners making it to the theater than of the general moviegoing public, so Fox should be happy. The Screeners who picked Resurgence to do well in their box office wager list...well, they’re a little less happy.Close Encounters of the First, Second, and Third KindsSurely Hollywood can do better than a movie about aliens that doesn’t even have Will Smith in it, though. If they have, the Screeners (or what’s left of them) will dig it up for their top 3 list. In keeping with the July 4 theme, this episode’s topic is “best alien invasion movies” (or, we assume, TV shows, but if anyone says Falling Skies, Jo

News flash:  People liked Finding Nemo. Judging by the box office numbers for Finding Dory, a lot of people liked Finding Nemo. Either that, or people just really like animated movies about fish. We’re guessing it’s the former, though. The Screeners are no exception, whether their kids love it, or they were kids when it came out (OK, so that’s only one Screener). They all have something good to say about the little clownfish—even Josh probably does, though we doubt he’ll say it out loud. Did the sequel measure up to the original, though?Well, that’s what everyone’s here to talk about. This episode happened to fall on a relatively slow news week, so the hosts jump right into their main event review. All five of them managed to make it to the theater (along with the rest of the country, apparently), so there should be at least a little room for debate. C’mon, Chris; everyone’s counting on you to remain objective in the face of everyone else’s excitement. Don’t disappoint us!No Rules, No Rails: The Day the

This episode’s a bit different than most:  No entertainment news roundtable, no movie review, just sheer listmania from start to finish. Here’s the deal:  The Screeners have decided to try their hands at picking the top summer movies of 2016, as determined by their box office haul. The “official” rules are here, but Chad didn’t read them, so why should you? It’s pretty simple, actually:  Rank the gross domestic (US + Canada) profit of movies released between May 6 and September 5 from 1 to 10 in descending order, and pick 3 more “dark horses” that you’re not as confident about but think might make a good showing. We won’t summarise the gory scoring details here, but rest assured:  There will be a winner, and that winner will inflict some form of horrific cinematic torture on the rest of our beloved Screeners. Some of them might not make it, but they knew that when they signed up for this.Just so no one can back out of their terrible, terrible picks after the fact, we’re going to post them

The Screeners are down a host for this episode—Josh mentioned something about packing all his earthly belongings, but we’re honestly a bit worried that’s just a euphemism. Please do come back someday, Josh; we miss the lack of substance you bring to the show.Anyway, in honor of this episode’s main event, the remaining Screeners start out the show by talking about their top three third installments in a trilogy.. See, Apocalypse is either the third movie since the last X-Men reboot, or the third third X-Men movie (yes, that’s nine in all for those of you playing along at home...how many more can they make?). Either way, Chad promised us this would make sense, and we’re just going to take him at his word. That usually works out.Back to the BackstoriesOK, main event time. Like we said, there have been a lot of X-Men movies, but you know what there are even more of? X-Men characters. X-Men: Apocalypse alone must introduce 20 of them...we lost count somewhere after the guy with the tail. We can’t say any more than

Another month, another Marvel movie. They’re a machine at this point—the kind of machine they keep at the US Mint. They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but they clearly haven’t seen the trees on the Marvel Studios lot.But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Before we go all Confederateless Civil War on you, we have a single Jump Cut to kick off this episode. Your Facebook feed may or may not have recently been bombarded with ads for a new twist on video streaming lately—if not, the Screeners here to fill you in. VidAngel is a service that claims to rent SD movies (those are still a thing?) for $1 and the HD version for $2, with the added bonus that you can edit them to your heart’s content to remove anything you find objectionable.Is this a good idea? Is it legal? Would anyone consider using something like this? All these questions and more will be...well, they’ll at least be mentioned in our longest Jump Cut ever.No Thor, but We’ll Always Have HawkeyeOK, main event time. They thought about waiting until it ca

The Screeners are missing their only mommy host for this episode, but that won’t stop them from doing a kid-friendly episode...right after Jump Cuts, that is.OK, so “Jump Cuts” might be a bit of a misnomer for this episode’s first act, but Chris really likes the audio bump he recorded for it, and everyone else is too lazy to come up with a replacement, so we’ll let the pretense continue for at least one more show. The four Screeners who did show up this time tend to have TV viewing habits that are...let’s say “distinct”. Since they don’t all watch the same things, they’ve decided to do a round of mini-reviews of shows that have caught their eye recently. With Josh digging up a CNBC show and Daniel implying that there’s a Hulu original that might be worth watching, this segment might just be the most eccentric thing the Screeners have done since Chad named a foreign language movie his top pick of 2015. Of course, no one else has watched Phoenix to see if he had a point, so we’re just going to keep mocking him

It’s been at least three episodes since we talked about murder, so the Screeners decided to kick this one off by pretending they like Chris as much as Daniel and watching—you guessed it—Hannibal. The hype train has been building speed for awhile now, so we’re not even sure if whatever got the show canceled can stop it. Even Josh played along and watched a couple episodes, though, so we’ll see if he can be the immovable object the world needs in times like these.OK, enough cannibalism and telepathy. To cleanse everyone’s palate before the main event, it’s time to introduce a brand-new segment: Top 3. After all, Buzzfeed built a media empire around the concept of numbered lists, so why can’t the Screeners? The world needs more favorite things, so we’re going to list ours more often, and we’re going to start with, um . . . movies and TV shows about serial killers. Funny how that worked out.Main Event: Made You Look!We’re done now; we promise. For the main event this time, the Screeners revisit a segment that’s b

That’s right; the Screeners are actually doing an episode 51. We’re as surprised as you are; we were expecting the kind of twist where we never hear from them again. Oh well; there’s always episode 100 for that…Anyway, in case you missed it, one of the Screeners quietly posted a link on the podcast's Facebook page a little while ago about a proposed new service called The Screening Room. The gist is that a subscriber would pay an initial fee for some equipment that would give them the privilege of watching new movies as they’re being released in theaters—at $50 a pop. Though it may bear an eerie similarity to the name of our beloved podcast, the service might not strike the right chord with all of its hosts. Let us guess: Chad loves this idea. Just loves it.Next, in anticipation of the general tone of tonight’s main event, the Screeners pause for a rare moment to ask themselves what purpose film criticism itself serves and how we should react when people disagree with us. It’s a stirring call to tolerance and

...or at least Chad does. The rest of the Screeners are holding out for the 20th anniversary of The Wedding Singer to let go of the innocence of youth. EIther way, we’ve made it to the big five-oh. Fifty episodes in just over 3 years is still a better production pace than most non-reality TV shows (read: shows that require creativity to produce), so maybe our mothers are right to be so proud of us.The List to End All Lists...Until the Next ListHow, then, should we celebrate? Let’s make a list! Everyone loves a good anniversary list. We’re afraid the Screeners may have missed the boat topic-wise, though. Instead of “Melody’s top 5 unnecessary apologies”, “Chris’s 3 favorite explosions that don’t involve helicopters”, or “The 10 foreign films Chad claims are amazing, but that no one will ever watch to validate his enthusiasm”, they went with “Top 5 movies we’ve reviewed on the podcast”. They’re sorry. They’ll do better for episode 100. If they live that long.Best St. Patrick’s Day Movie EverNow that we’ve rehas

The day after the Oscars marks Josh’s favorite time of the Hollywood calendar; it marks the day furthest from the next time he’ll have to sit in front of a television watching famous people celebrate each other’s fame for over three hours. Sadly (for him), the rest of the Screeners feel at least a little differently about the whole ordeal. As creators of a podcast that purported to be about all media and slowly collapsed into the black hole of Hollywood, they feel duty-bound to discuss their reactions to the show, its host, and its big winners. Josh will live.“Which Action Movies Should We Plagiarize?” “...All of Them.”There are certain vital moments in all our lives, events that we come to recognize as turning points, decisions that shape our future. The Screeners experienced such a moment 6 months ago when they invited Daniel into the sacred circle of co-hosts. They did it because they knew he loved movies, but they could never have predicted just how many movies he would love.You see, a scant 2 months befo

The Screeners are back with another bonus episode to tide you over in those long fortnight gaps between major releases, and we have a real treat for you this time. Screenwriter Jennifer Deaton sits down with the crew to talk about the upcoming release of Jack of the Red Hearts, which also happens to be her first script that’s been produced and distributed. The movie itself tackles a difficult subject that’s very close to home for many families: relating to a child on the Autism spectrum. Jennifer has more than an episode’s worth of experiences to share with everyone, from the script’s inspiration to what it’s like on the set of an independent movie and everything in between. We’ll try to stay on topic, but we’re sure you’ll forgive us if we don’t cut her off as quickly as we would, say, Chris.If it’s playing near you, go see Jack of the Red Hearts on opening weekend (Feb. 26-28)! You can’t go wrong supporting both independent film and improving awareness of what daily life can be like for millions of people a

Marvel’s been straining the public’s tolerance for clever marketing for months now in anticipation of Deadpool. With everything from emoji billboards to non sequitur PSA’s in full costume (NSFW...maybe?), they’ve been trying to tell us that Ryan Reynolds’ character here is no Captain America. We get it; the question is, just what is he, and is he worth watching for a couple hours? As usual, the Screeners (or at least some of them) have the answers you’ve been pining for. Josh and Daniel ended up elsewhere for Valentine’s Day, but our 3 hardcore comic book fans all made it to the theater, and they’re here to tell you whether you should do the same.Head over to Facebook to let us know if you agree!

The Screeners indulged a little in the last episode, talking about only what they wanted to talk about. Now it’s time to give the Academy their due—but before we do that, we hear there was some kind of sporting event not too long ago…Are You Overpaid and Too Famous? Here’s a Trophy!As any media wonk knows, the Super Bowl is all about the commercials. The Screeners just had to take a little time up front to review the most memorable ads of the year—that is, if there were any. The last few Super Bowls haven’t seemed like what we’re used to from the biggest ad day of the year; can this one pull us out of the slump?After our brief journey to the small screen, it’s back to...well, technically the small screen again, but at least the Oscars are about the big screen. It’s time for the Screeners to pretend they care about awards shows. (OK, some of them actually do care, but we’re withholding their names out of professional courtesy. You can send hate mail after you’ve heard the episode.) We don’t have time for every

It’s that time of year again—the Golden Globes just happened (by now, even Josh knows about them), and the Oscars are just around the corner. It’s the perfect time for the Screeners to observe an annual tradition of looking back at last year in the theater, reminiscing about all the good times, and also doing what the Academies and Associations don’t have the guts for:  naming the year’s biggest wastes of film (“waste of hard drive space” just doesn’t have the same ring to it…).Of course, the biggest event on the podcast last year was the addition of a new host, so we’re going to need all the time we can get if we’re going to make it through 5 top ten lists and everything else, so no pretend lightning round this time. Sorrynotsorry.As you might have guessed, though, we’re not going to spoil the Screeners’ lists here in writing for just anyone to see. Instead, since campaign season is in full swing, we’re going to invoke another modern tradition and provide you with a simple quiz so you can determine whic

 It’s a double-header of greed, murder, and intrigue on this episode of the Screeners, but before we dive into the underbelly of society, we thought we’d make a quick pit stop. The Golden Globes are pretty much the entertainment industry’s way of satirizing itself—a bunch of rich people get together in a big room to get drunk, give each other awards, and put The Martian in the musical/comedy category. Ricky Gervais hosted, though, so at least everyone was uncomfortable. Other than those two things, though, was there anything the Screeners could have found worthy of comment?No? OK; let’s just head to the main event.Some People Go to Jail; Some Don’t...No One Knows WhyFirst on the list is another movie Chris swears isn’t a comedy, presumably because it uses big words. The Big Short focuses on the most digestible, straightforward topic of the last few decades—shoddy financial products invented to disguise other shoddy financial products by chopping them up into tiny pieces, bundling them, then selling them to hi

...because it’s sort of about Star Wars. Unless you’ve already seen The Force Awakens, in which case you’re probably also back on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and whatever else the kids are using these days. How does it feel to come back to social media? Was it hard to leave? Ever wish they’d have political debates on Hoth so that people would shut up about them too for fear of spoiling something?Anyway, the Screeners (sans Melody, sadly) had to say something about the cultural phenomenon that is the first Star Wars release in a decade. Actually, the four of them said about an hour of somethings before editing. Some people just can’t contain their joy (or sorrow; we’re not going to spoil that part for you either).There’s even a spoiler-free review at the beginning like usual, but we won’t blame you if you don’t believe us. Just, y’know, go see it, then give the episode a listen.

Trailer TownCan we just start calling both prequels and sequels “‘quels”? We’re tired of remembering which is what and debating whether a given movie is one or the other—it’s definitely one of the two, though, since originality is almost officially passé in Hollywood. Anyway, Jump Cuts features two ‘quels. (Catch that? We’re the change we wish to see.) First up is Alien: <whatever Ridley Scott’s calling it today>, and guess which Screener gets to sit out this trailer review because he hasn’t seen any of the original series. Is there story left to tell, or should Scott have left well enough alone with the franchise’s success (...then failure, then moderate success again)?Next, though, is Captain America: Civil War. Its first trailer is out now, and it’s a little different from your standard superhero punch-fest (don’t worry; there’s probably some punching in there). What are the Screeners’ first impressions of the new installment coming off their rave reviews of Winter Soldier?Can You Say “Thematically D

We know it’s the holiday season, but the Screeners are far too dedicated to take vacation days. OK, we lied; they totally took vacation days—that’s why this episode’s main event has been out a little while by now. You'll forgive them, right? Not like you needed an extra podcast episode to listen to while you were driving 5 hours to eat turkey with people you see twice a year or anything, right? Good.All the News a Post-It Can HoldWe’ll start off with a brief news roundup, even though there’s not a ton to talk about. A listener brought us some disturbing news about a beloved cult classic on Facebook recently, but the Screeners smell something fishy about the whole deal. In the timeless words of David Letterman, is this anything?Also worth noting is Hulu’s new original miniseries, 11/22/63, and Amazon’s Philip K. Dick adaptation, The Man in the High Castle. Alternate history and time travel are apparently hot right now; will either of the sort-of-underdog streaming platforms execute well enough to stick around

The Screeners have really hit a stride with this new consistent release schedule, haven’t they? It’s like every time you turn around, there’s another episode—and another episode means yet another set of show notes. The author isn’t bitter about that, though; not in the least. Why would you think otherwise?News You Probably Can’t UseFor Jump Cuts this week, the Screeners start out with a noble goal of catching all their listeners up with the latest news. Problem is, the only news worth hearing right now seems to be Wired talking to JJ Abrams about Star Wars and how CBS has taken Star Trek hostage.Next up, since unoriginality is now a go-to topic for the Screeners (oh, the irony), they spend some time pondering sequels. For those filling out the Screeners take-home quiz, the question is: “Can a sequel actually be better than the original? Discuss.”To bring it back to current events, though, what’s new(s) in everyone’s media playlists? Josh surprises everyone by admitting to watching a reality show, then Chris t

Remember last time, when we were light on non-spoilable topics to talk about in the show notes? Well, here we are again, except there’s only one Jump Cut this week. The Screeners seem to be on a campaign to make these show notes as dull as possible, so if you can’t beat ‘em… Indulge your humble guide for a moment while he reflects on one of his favorite brunch foods. Eggs Benedict, when made properly, is a delicious dish, but it demands a certain willful ignorance toward what one is about to put in one’s mouth. Too long spent pondering the fact that it resembles a pair of warmed oysters filled with liquid, and all is lost. Cut, lift, swallow. There can be no other strategy.OK, that was an extra paragraph. That should substitute for at least one or two missing Jump Cuts. English teachers of the world, cringe in horror. We’ll never speak of this again.Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again?Anywho, there actually is a full-length episode in here somewhere. We start out with something that became a fairly pop