Star Wars Loose Canon

Jawas communicate by smelling farts. Also Patrick does a really decent Neil Young impression. Links Ugly unmasked sand person is ugly Rust Never Sleeps The Book of lists The Disney Star Wars Galaxy's Edge details we've all read Link to Buzzfeed-style list of Jawas Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Three years into the podcast and we're finally getting to lightsabers. We owe guest host Aaron Spain (half of the Nordy Derk Podcast) this episode. Here's our thank you, three years later. Star Wars Explained video about Vader's lightsaber: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unE4Cg9HjAk Do it: https://youtu.be/vU54c3YDyak Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com Twitter Facebook Instagram

Better late than never. Long considered lost and forgotten, raw audio tracks were unearthed. In them, the boys finally get to breaking down The Force Awakens. What better time to release them to the public than 17 months and 1 film later! The weirdest part: our opinions age pretty well. Happy Star Wars Day! Article from Human Iterations mentioned in the episode. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com Twitter Facebook Instagram

The Force. What does it do? What doesn't Why is it so finicky and change from wielder to wielder? Bonus question: what does it have to do with girls' night out? We're back to catalog the do's and don'ts of the Force. Cause it's confusing and we're here to help our listeners make sense of the galaxy. Tune in to find out why the alternate title is "Tauntaun Throat Sausage" Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

In this stunning conclusion to our Darth Vader two-parter, we get to the core of what makes Vader tick - seriously his suit probably does tick a little. When it comes to the complex mechanisms keeping that quivering Christmas ham alive on the inside, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Parts that include some pretty cool gloves. I mean what did you expect? All that space diabeetus really takes its toll on your circulation. Luckily glove technology is so advanced that Vader was able to lead a somewhat normal, albeit excruciatingly painful life. For more information on the gloves of Star Wars you can reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Our lack of Vader discussion was disturbing, so we decided to bust out a Darth Vader two-parter! Join us for part 1 and dive deep into the personhood of Darth Vader. If it weren't for that nice man on Tatooine finally testing that poor kid's blood for juvenile diabeetus, we wouldn't have a story and you wouldn't have a definitive answer for what the plural of 'menace' is. Click here to check out Patrick's parody show 'Space Warps: Revenge of the Recaps' running in Chicago this December at Under the Gun Theater and like it on Facebook Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

He knows when to hold em, knows when to fold em, knows when to don a silk cape, knows when to get it dry cleaned. Join us and learn about the man and the mystery behind Lando Calrissian. We also give the Marvel Lando comics our stamp of new-canon approval. We know we’re not a Star Wars review podcast. We’re altering the deal. Pray we don’t alter it any further. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

After a months-long embedded assignment within the Stormtrooper academy, we’re back! Inspired by a listener question, in this episode, we explore the good, the bad and the useless Stormtrooper lore. Including: The waning numbers of clones within the ranks A utility belt that puts Batman to shame Stormtrooper taxonomy Is that a Thermos of soup on their back? The real reason why they’re such bad shots DISCLAIMER: This episode contains mild Marvel Star Wars spoilers and a lot of Force Awakens conjecture that’s been rendered obsolete since trailer 3.  Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com @StarWarsLC Facebook

What do you get when a dork goes to town on Shakespeare's MacBeth? Meet Orion Couling: the closest thing to a real life Jedi Master (or Sith Lord?) we'll probably come across. Listen in as Nick, Patrick and Alex's force ghost grills Orion about everything he's working on MacSith, general combat choreography, and his theater company E.D.G.E. And by "grill", we mean turn the mic and swoon like the fanboys we are. Rejected episode titles:A Skywalker by Any Other NameSomething Sith-ed This Way ComesLando, Lando Wherefore Art Thou, LandoOut, Damned Jar Jar Learn more about Orion and E.D.G.E at edgeoforion.com.If you're going to be in Chicago between now and June 14th, come see MacSith!Otherwise contact Orion to demand that he take the show to you! Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Here's the one where we wax philosophic about the Disney acquisition. Does Leia meet the criteria for being a Disney Princess? Where does her character go from here in the Disney-verse? Are our collective childhoods safe from Mickey's gloved hands? Somewhere is there a clone of Walt Disney locked in a basement writing every screenplay for the next 10 years? These are things we lie awake at night thinking about. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Did the "Dark Times" thrive with unprecedented wealth and prosperity? Did currency differences hinder trade between galactic sectors? Was Jar Jar a fit candidate to be your accountant? These are questions we'll attempt to answer in today's episode of Freakono...erm Loose Canon! And please someone help us define what conscription means! Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Are you Force sensitive? Are you kinda moody? Do you dance to the beat of your own Yub Nub, and apprenticeships just really cramp your style? Come join the Dark Jedi! ...or don't, whatever, who cares. Come with us and learn why some Jedi just want to watch the world burn. Why some do not sew. And why some [insert 3rd nerd pandering analogy here]. "Loose Canon: the comic book / sci-fi version of Cabin In The Woods" Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

As if it wasn't horrible enough to feature man-eating, religious zealot teddy bears in Return of the Jedi, they had to throw in a man-eating pit too. Oh, but that's just what happens on the surface (literally). Join us while we deconstruct the inner-workings (literally) of the sarlacc pit. Who knows, you might think it's just the cozy getaway you were looking for. So come on in, there's a spot for you (literally). Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

State-of-the-art gadgets and armor? Check. Badass attitude? Check. Sweet cargo sweat pants? Check. Boba Fett is the complete package. Join us as we explore the man, the myth, the legend all the while trying not to offend the “Cult of Boba.” Seriously though, if you're adhering strictly to canon, Boba Fett...leaves a little something to be desired. Luckily our name isn't Tight Canon, am I right guys? Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Well it's that time of year folks! A time for rushing home to be with family, ingesting mind altering substances and gathering 'round with all the townsfolk to become one with a tree. Nope, it's not Christmas at the Loose Canon household. We're talking about Life Day, the yearly tradition on Kashyyyk depicted in the 1978 psychodelic train wreck that was the Star Wars Holiday Special. Join us in revelry as we figure out whether or not the weird stuff we witnessed during the show actually happened or if our minds just fabricated the whole experience. Seriously, we could have just made this all up and you wouldn’t know the difference. Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Join the trio for the last episode of season one. The boys get all meta on your ass as they attempt to justify their own existence in a post-Expanded Universe world. Did the Disney Death Star 'splode your fandom this year? Did George Lucas hate the EU anyway? It's not cause for alarm, folks. Listen to the boys explain why you should embrace the new Legends stamp. The Lucasfilm Story Group can go about their business. Move along. Plus basically Obi-Wan endorses Loose Canon in A New Dawn. So that's cool. Links: Official Star Wars Legends Announcement Doom-n-gloom Verge article with EU timeline Star Wars Report gave us all hope. Another great EU primer from A.V. Club Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

This was Alex's most eagerly anticipated episode to date, but you'll find out it's for the completely wrong reasons. Listen as the boys give a rundown of just who the "scum" hanging out with Darth Vader are in The Empire Strikes Back. Learn the gentlemanly, albeit loose, code of conduct amongst bounty hunters. Scratch your head at the prospect of seeking a spider web floating in space (Kud'ar Mub'at the Assembler) for neutral ground. Come for the Bossk jokes, stay for the disappointment at having very brief coverage of Boba Fett (don't worry, he'll get his own episode). Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Meet the most exclusive club in the galaxy: the Sith. With their mysterious origins as exiled Jedi, the Sith went through long growing pains, until finally reaching their stride. The boys go into detail about what it takes to make it as a Sith apprentice, why the 'rule of two' worked so well and how the greatest trick the Sith ever played was convincing the galaxy they were irrelevant. Join us on the dark side, there will be cake. Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

Running a galactic empire is hard! Stress cracks start to show by the beginning of Return of the Jedi, and sure enough a cunning race of creatures is there to exploit it. Join the boys as they discuss the cutest, most blood thirsty and most "easily religious" teddy bears of the galaxy. Beyond the Ewoks, the Battle of Endor shows how the Sith fell to their greatest enemy yet: bureaucracy. Many Bothans died to give us the Emperor's Instagrams. Pic of Mt. Sorrow if you're curious. Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon

To wipe or not to wipe? No this episode isn't about personal hygiene in the galaxy, it's about droids. To be honest, the role of droids in the galaxy makes the boys a tad uncomfortable. Were they mere tools meant only to benefit the master, or were they true, albeit inorganic beings sentenced to a life of toil and eventual dismemberment? Maybe by the end of this episode, you'll be ready to rid the universe of "meatbags." Bonus points for those who recognize the theme from our end credits. Theme song performed by Charles Laurita (written by John Williams). For more music check out http://www.charleslaurita.com as well as his YouTube channel. Reach us at: http://loosecanon.nerdglow.com 773-669-5091 starwars@nerdglow.com http://www.twitter.com/StarWarsLC http://www.facebook.com/starwarsloosecanon