Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This week on MYTH, it’s part two of our three part, lighthearted series on trickster animals.  You’ll discover rabbits are gullible, but not as gullible as crocodiles, that bathing can be painful, and that you should always be nice to forest creatures.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the invisible rodents who will cut you to pieces, but mostly heal you up after.

This week on MYTH, we’ll be meeting the grinning trickster god of the First Peoples.  You’ll see that being a poser has always been a bad thing, that you shouldn’t break your leg because you’re told to, and that people were almost immortal (which is a bad thing).   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that a famous Batman villain used to be a Plains tribe monster.

This week on MYTH, it’s finally time for the thrilling conclusion.  You’ll see that the Greeks are sore winners, that happy endings are rare, and that fan fiction is older than you thought.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see how blood from a severed penis and the curse of the House of Atreus are related. This is the fifteenth and final episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, we’re going to dive into the messy aftermath of regicide.  You’ll learn that even gods have favorites, that beautiful people are just more trustworthy (even when they’re not), and that Achilles has a weird sense of honor.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll find out what happens when you cross a cow and a snake (and it isn’t ground beef).  This is the fourteenth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, it’s time to cue up The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly because we’re gonna have an old-fashioned showdown.  You’ll learn that Hector should have taken a page out of Forrest Gump’s book, that not even death can keep your friends from busting your balls, and that steel testicles are only the second-worst vehicle ornament.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s a beautiful, eyeless snake witch who might just drag you to hell.  This is the thirteenth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, we’re finally going to see what all the fuss has been about.  You’ll discover that rivers can be petulant, that Achilles is pretty good with a one-liner, and that you should never bring a bow to a spear fight.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s a three for one sale on witches.  This is the twelfth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, Achilles is finally going to do some soul searching (and maybe a little maturing).  You’ll learn that Mr. Ed used to belong to Achilles, that god magic gets used on weird things, and that Achilles could really use a Snickers.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll see how being a bad person and a worse husband can lead to monsters.  This is the eleventh episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, some very bad things are about to go down.  You’ll discover that some horses can’t be tamed, that tug of war can be hell, and that nothing is as badass as a costume change.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll see why you should never cut down a tree.   This is the tenth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, the war will finally get real again for that whiny asshole Achilles.  You’ll see that Poseidon is a badass, that men falling asleep after sex has always been a thing, and that you should never try to be your heroes.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a monster that looks like something out of a B movie about the dangers of genetic modification.  This is the ninth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, the Greek army is going to learn that it can always get worse.  You’ll see that snitches get stitches, that Zeus is fickle as shit, and that you should absolutely always listen to omens.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the actual king of the monsters (sorry Godzilla).  This is the eighth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, the battle rages on, this time without divine influence, and it doesn’t go well.  You’ll learn that maybe the Martha scene in Batman v. Superman wasn’t as stupid as you thought, that Hector’s a pretty good man, and that the ancient gods were particular about building permits.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet a man who could give Anansi the spider a run for his money.  This is the seventh episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, it’s a clash of the titans as Paris fights Menelaus one on one for all the marbles.  You’ll learn that Aphrodite is a frigid bitch, that the Iliad is unbelievably brutal, and that trying to rob a corpse in the middle of a battle is a stupid idea.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet twin boys who’ve gotten too big for their britches, literally and figuratively.  This is the sixth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, we’ll jump ahead through nine years of siege to the final year of the war.  You’ll see that not all kingly ideas are golden, that the Trojan War has a lot in common with Monty Python, and that Hector really doesn’t get enough credit.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the lesser known but better dressed messenger of the gods.  This is the fifth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, the Greeks, after a series of misadventures that will prove to be kind of typical for this whole series, will finally reach distant Troy.  You’ll see that no one should ever trust Odysseus, that Achilles just can’t seem to stop being an asshole, and that even gods get petty. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll learn that every eight year old girl was a little bit right to think that ponies were magical.  This is the fourth episode in the epic saga of the Trojan War from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, the red shadow of war lies heavy on the land.  In a moment I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for since this series started, we’ll finally be getting in to the nitty gritty of the actual war between Sparta and Troy.  You’ll learn that even famous heroes can be assholes, that you should probably listen if a god goes to the trouble of giving you multiple prophecies, and that getting lost can have dire consequences.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, we’ll meet the triple goddess who guides the subtle ship of fate through these mythic tales.  

This week on MYTH, we’ll be getting to know the famous lady who kicked off one of the great epic wars of the ancient myths through no real fault of her own.  You’ve probably heard of the infamous Helen of Troy at some point, if only to know that she was somehow involved in the Trojan War, but there’s a lot to her history even before the war that’s weird, wild and worth a listen.  You’ll learn that women have always been blamed for things that aren’t their fault, that Zeus did some seriously twisted things, and that there’s a surprising amount of crossover between some of these different stories.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s one of the few genuinely sweet loves stories I know from mythology, which felt fitting with Valentine’s Day coming up.  

This week on MYTH, we’ll be starting one of the most famous epics of all time - the Trojan War.  This is one of those stories that most people are at least passingly familiar with, but there’s a lot more to the story that you probably haven’t heard.  You’ll see that teenagers should never be trusted with anything important, that making animals fight each other has always been a past time for assholes, and that sometimes Zeus decides to slaughter people for very little reason.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll find a new reason to stay out of the water.  This is the first episode in the Trojan War saga from Greek mythology.

This week on MYTH, we’ll be starting the new year with a new creation myth from a new pantheon (see what I did there).  This story is between roughly 30 and 38 centuries old, which makes it the oldest one we’ve covered yet.  You’ll learn that Enki is basically a divine Batman, that ancient god names sound more like knock off super-heroes, and that infanticide is an acceptable solution to a lot of problems.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that ancient demons can do a lot more than make you puke pea soup.  This is the Assyrian/Babylonian story of the fight between Marduk and Tiamat.

This week on MYTH, we’ll be finishing up the holiday season with a story that has a nice mix of comedy and weirdness.  I thought we could use a little levity for the end of this dumpster fire of a year with a story about making a new beginning.  You’ll learn that some people will kill for a nice jam, that Spongebob Squarepants is a badass, and that heart disease really is the number one killer.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll discover why self-reliant women are basically demons.  This is the Grimm fairy tale of The Brave Little Tailor.

This week on MYTH, we’ll be leaving the barren wastes of the Arabian desert and sliding into the holiday season with a story that has a nice mix of comedy and weirdness.  You’ll discover that kissing under the mistletoe is darker than you knew, that sometimes the gods like to cross-dress, and that Loki’s kids were a real handful.   Then, in Gods and Monsters, you’ll learn that being a naughty kid can get you dropped in a Saw movie.  This is the Norse story of how mistletoe came to be a holiday tradition.