Wigs & Wice

We had to sneak away for a couple weeks, but the good news is, it only made us crankier! Settle in with a ice cold Sancie and listen up; We’re talking Bachelor in Paradise, Rough Night, Caitlyn Jenner, the new Ken dolls, and obviously… Katy and Johnny (do we even need to say their last names anymore?) We pick our songs of the summer, gag over the Drag Race reunion and Troll Patrol ourselves to Barnes and Noble. Summer’s here and the time is right… for wigging in the streets! Thanks for listening!

We know, covfefe is already so tired, but if it’s good enough for the President of the United States, it’s... fine enough for a W&W title. You know what else is fine enough for us? Kathy Griffin’s former career, Debra Messing’s rider, Red Shoes and the 7 Dwarfs, and lesbian M&Ms. And you must listen to the end to learn about the Port St Lucie “Bad” neighbor. We’re obsessed. Oh, and Katy Perry and Johnny Depp because we are contractually obligated. Oh, and go see Wonder Woman. Oh, and thanks for listening!

It’s only fitting that we pay honor to Jessica Simpson in our title this week because we dragged the hell out of her. She’s in good company, though; Katy, you may want to skip this one. We take on unnecessary reboots, The Bachelorette, Drag Race and body slam Greg Gianforte back into obscurity (just kidding, he won the election wtf bai). All this and Lindsay learns who The Bleachers are (even though it’s her topic). Download now because the topics in this episode are sure to get you laid (and/or punched in the face) at your Memorial Day weekend BBQ!

Don’t let the title fool you, you and your wig will ALWAYS be taken care of here no matter what you've been through. Especially after a week like this.  This week is one big digression session extravaganza eleganza! The tangents might get tangled, but fear not, our coverage is comprehensive. From Miley Cyrus to Harry Styles’s flight patterns to the marginalized heteronormativity of LL Cool J to… Johnny Depp, because of course, Johnny Depp, you’ll be giggling harder than Mike Huckabee when he reads back one of his own Tweets. There’s a Drag Race recap, 60 Seconds of Scorched Earth and even a brand new segment tentatively and poorly called LISTEN UP! But we digress… off ya go!

This has got to be the worst week Ja Rule has had... actually, Ja Rule's probably had a lot of really bad weeks since 2002.  FYRE FESTIVAL U GUYS.  Unlike that Coachella meets Katrina, this podcast delivers on all its promises. We got Sad Clown Brad Pitt, DaddyOFive, that Ten Concert meme, a "Hell's Kitchen" restaurant, Steven Colbert, Schindler's List, RuPaul's Drag Race, Air Supply, Amy Schumer, Jimmy Kimmel, and Milania starring as Rapunzel in a "Tangled" reboot.  I know, just like Fyre, it sounds too good to be true! Listen and find out for yourself (we promise we won't make you sleep in a disaster tent). Thanks, Wigs!

Okay, so we lost our episode this week, wigs. Like, we recorded it, we laughed and ranted and then, somehow, we looked down and nothing recorded. It sucked. Hard. BUT, since we are wigs who prepare for the worst and expect it to get even worse, we had this little baby on standby. And it’s good. Like for real! It’s the Palm Springs Magic Hour! All that stuff we’ve talked about but never had time for and so much more. Mel Gibson threatened Lindsay with a knife! The truth behind “How Will I Live” and why it was recorded by two different divas! Lindsay worked at Pizza Hut! Paul’s dog walker story! And then also, our best Palm Springs memories because… Palm Springs! We were pretty drunk. Hope you guys find some magic in there cuz we did. Thanks for listening!

Talking Points Memo: "Girl, bye." That's it. At least for O'Reilly it is. But, nobody pays us so we can say whatever the hell we want! Hey, Bill, maybe there's a future in podcasting for you? #bwahahahahaha And do we ever... live from the desert of Palm Springs itself, we let our chill fly away with the evening breeze, sip our sweet tea and break down everything from Dan Rochkind to #thingsonlywomenwritershear to Olivia De Havilland's email address to Rachel Dolezal... and as always there's a Ruality Check and Troll Patrol to get you ready for the weekend!  If you've got an itch or a scratch to itch and/or scratch, you're welcome here. Thanks for listening.

Follow us into the pop culture equivalent of John B. McLemore’s maze. From Coachella to Louis CK to wild turkeys gettin’ old folks fired at Walmart, if you find one door closed, turn the hell around and hopefully there's another one that leads somewhere you like! Like a lawsuit about potato chips! Or Disney and pizza-centric Troll Patrols! And catch up on last week’s episode of RuPaul's Drag Race before a new episode airs tomorrow night! We promise things turn out much better than they did in Woodstock. Sad face.  And to anyone who doesn’t know us personally, especially if you’re in Saudi Arabia or your last name is Droll Orafice, can you email us this week? Just say hi! wigsandwice@gmail.com Thanks, wigs! #timberspear

At this point, we hope you don’t need 13 reasons why you should listen, but just in case… 1) The Supreme Court 2) Pepsi, but mostly Kendall Jenner 3) RuPaul’s Drag Race 4) Don Rickles 5) Nivea 6) Skeksis 7) Ivanka Trump Glitter Dance Party 8) John Ridley 9) Christina El Moussa 10) Real Housewives of New York 11) Big Little Lies finale 12) Lindsay’s allergies and 13) SweetTart Ropes Thanks for listening, wigs!

It'll make sense by the end. Also, we're running out of ways to put "wig" into the title, so #relax. We laid off the politics this week and stuck to the important stuff like glitter booties, Boss Baby, that new Abbey reality show on E! and Lindsay's Sports Illustrated subscription (she's only in it for the tits).  Most importantly, we deep dive into the premiere of season nine of RuPaul's Drag Race, breaking down all the contestants, one by one, so if you haven't watched, snap to it, hunty.   Lots of revelatory wigs to flip, too! Like S-Town, Big Little Lies, Kathryn Hahn, Krisha and how to crack yo Kindle (thanks, Mom!). All good things. Mostly. Thanks for listening! 

Tim Allen is so marginalized you guys. We were going to start a Kickstarter but then we realized we didn’t give anything close to a f***. #oops This week, we drag Brett Ratner, Dave Chappelle, John Mayer, someone actually named Raul Labrador and almost Tom Cruise for a garden variety of reasons they all probably deserve. And y’all Security Moms… yeah, you’re gonna want to have a BIG glass of wice ready for this one. Troll Patrol gets real meta and we flip our wigs over things that really matter. Like Moana, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Baywatch and an iPad game for teenagers. Listen, it’s not the New York Times, but it’s also not fake news. So... that's something.

... and we provide the rest! (seriously, it took twenty minutes to come up with a relevant wig-related title this week, RELAX) This episode, we waltz into "Missing Richard Simmons," Finance Bro, Beauty and the Homosexual Agenda, Dahlonega, and how "Feud" proves that some #ladystruggles never seem to change. Oh, and "The Bachelor" is finally over. We promise to never put you through that again. We’ll also break down the incredibly important new political crisis, “Floss’s Policy.” Trust us, this one is a game-changer and you MUST be informed. Pour yourself some wice and settle in. Is it one cube or two?

We're back! Rested, recharged and ready to rage. Dead men tell no tales, but we sure do. Pirates be damned, we're coming for Snapchat, Texas, Danny Masterson, and if your name happens to be Casey this week, buckle up.  Also, we lumber towards the Bachelor finish line, drag a Yelp troll who needs to delete her account and manage to talk about the wonder that is Chrissy Teigan yet again. Arg, mateys, there be rough waters ahead but chart a course with us. A wigs life for ye! Rum!   

Are you a beleaguered mom like one of the power mamas from Big Little Lies, Angelina Jolie or Raquel, Corinne's nanny? Well, pour yourself an extra large glass of wice and settle in for an hour and a half of sass sure to take the edge off.  It's all here: Leah Remini, Chris Brown, The Bachelor, Lindsay Lohan, Wendy's, This is Us, Hoxie, The Oscars and so much more, you may have to literally re-ice your wice. Download away and plink, plink, wigs... time's a wastin'! 

Wigs, we literally put more thought into this week’s episode than our president did with his latest press conference. So, trust and believe, it’s great and loaded with fake news. We break down the Bachelor final four… er, three, question the Russians more than our own administration and evaluate the Grammys from multiple angles. Primarily the Beyonce angle, but a couple other ones, too. Plus, a brand new segment, Troll Patrol Dispatch - what more could a wig ask for?!?

Betsy DeVos is officially the secretary of education so now we talk much gooder on this upisode of week! We rank our early picks for the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race, fall back in like with Tom Hiddleston (and even Taylor Swift), sample the comedy stylings of Mike Huckabee and wonder why saying "Dear White People" bothers so many damn white people. All thus and very muchly more! #MrsDevosOpus

We know, we know. Every week you think it's going to turn. So do we. But if you can count on anything, it's us. We're here with the perfect blend of serious (Betsy Devos, a potential coup) and not-so-much (Johnny Depp, Winona's face) so that you can have your medicine with a spoonful of sugar. Man, how helpful would Mary Poppins be right now? Until then, stick with us, friends. 

Well, it's taken roughly three days as president for that schmuck to fuck everything up so we decided it was only right for us to come back a little early this week. Brace yourself for so much spillage of tea, wine and even Monster drink, our cups runnethed over. There's even time for a Reality Check and Troll Patrol! Don't say we never gave you anything. Enjoy, wigs! #sharkgirl

It's been a big week, and we have a lot to unpack, we know. Before that, why not take a little break from all the Inauguration and "alternative facts" chatter, and sit down with us to talk about something uplifting... like the mail order bride industry! Slip into a comfy wig, pour yourself that wice and join us for some Book Club action. We'll be back in a few days to delve into all that nasty business. 

That press conference tho. This week, we sip our way through the national meltdown that's become so embarrassing, our wigs put in for vacation time. But there's plenty of irritation to go around. We share the wealth with Steve Harvey, The Bachelor, Jimmy Fallon and believe it or not... even Meryl. Drama! You'll have to hear it to believe it.