Tysto Film Commentaries

Join me and my special guest John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs and Michael "Dorkman" Scott of What Are You Doing, Movie? as we take Alex Proyas' heartwarming tale of space vampires and terrible detectives to pieces retune it. All three of us basically love the film and gush all over the cinematography, writing, structure, and set design and try to figure out which parts are sub-awesome and how things could be slightly better. We lament the reception the film got initially, disagree over the degree of familiarity of the characters and tropes, and come to blows over Jennifer Connelly's eyebrows. (NON-PERIOD!)

Join me and Hardy Lynch of The Speakeasy as we shoot machines at the impregnable flesh of Bryan Singer's Superman Returns. We complain about the, ahem, "familiarity" of many of the set pieces and dialog; about the things that are new and different; about the incredible coincidences, and that a lot of the minor characters have nothing to do. I complain about the physics of Superman flying and lifting a continent. Hardy complains about James Marsden being a wet noodle. We both love a few things, including Kevin Spacey and some of the action. And we wonder exactly who knows what about you-know-who when. We compare the film to Superman, Superman 2, Terminator 2, The Matrix, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and The Five-Year Engagement. We wonder if Superman really left Metropolis to avoid paternity charges or sex offender charges. And we try to rewrite the film and fail.

Join Drew of Trek.fm and me as we look into the dead eyes of the master killer of the seas and come out the other end changed men. Together, we try to figure out what genre the movie is (monster movie? horror? Hitchcockian thriller? western?), whether or not Quint is a sorcerer, and how many awesome suit jackets Mayor Vaughn owns. We compare the film to other other shark/monster movies, Moby Dick, Die Hard, The Ghost & the Darkness, and Hot Fuzz. We contemplate it as a sequel to West Side Story, the characters as Harry Potter analogs, and animatronics as terrifying in themselves. And I learn an important lesson about comparing scars.

Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs and Faldor of the Extended Edition podcast for a thoro drubbing of Ridley Scott's Prometheus. It's the heartwarming tale of an old man trying to recapture his youth and getting his head handed to him. But enough about Ridley Scott. We examine the themes and complications, the plot twists that don't quite work, and the way the film repeatedly works against itself with their echoes of religion and the other Alien movies, as well as Stargate, Return of the Jedi, and Casablanca.

Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs for a long, hard look at Rian Johnson's wobbly time travel thriller. We both like it (he more than I) and both have problems with it (I more than he). We look at Confused Matthew's take on the film, and Rian Johnson's himself. John had a Twitter conversation with him that I gamely try to retroactively explain Johnson's side of. Regardless, it's a fascinating film or two films squooshed together, depending on your point of view and, possibly, your current location in the space-time continuum.

I'm back from the dead after several weeks of a bad chest cold. So join me and Hardy Lynch of The Speakeasy for a tear thru the 1978 blockbuster classic Superman (which we don't really like very much). Thrill to the Shakespearean blarney at the beginning (which we admire), the slow roll thru 1950s America (which we love), and the screwball romance of the 1970s (which we think is great), right to the big blockbuster finale (which we hate). We discuss Star Trek, James Bond, Gene Hackman's career, Clark Kent's big dope angle, the likelihood of Superman's mom making pajamas for him, and the implausibility of most of the physics. We swoon over Lex Luthor's lair, the cinematography, and the acting pretty much across the board. Bonus: we wonder why the whole third act happens. Double bonus: I only cough a few times toward the end.

Join me and Mike of Commentary Track Stars as we take a look at Paul WS Anderson's comic-booky mess of a monster-slasher film. We discuss the casting, the setting, what there is of a plot, and the missed opportunity of a romance.

Join Faldor and me for a rollicking--some would say vomit-inducing--roller coaster ride thru the mind of Gore Verbinski and friends as Jack Sparrow (and some other people) returns! Jack Sparrow (and some other people) fight the fearsome Davy Jones! (And we don't make a single Monkees joke, somehow.) And Jack Sparrow (and some other people) fight the terrifying Kraken! Also, a hell of a lot of deals are made that are almost all reneged on, and the end makes no sense! We analyze the meandering plot structure, the overlong set pieces, and the muddy motivations. We posit some changes that might have helped clarify or at least short the mess. And we wax philosophical about which film is better: this one or the third one.

Join me for the heartwarming story of the Beaudelaire orphans, who lose their parents, family friends, and innocence in a series of deeply, deeply unfortunate events, all of which seem to be caused by one Count Olaf. Again and again, they fall into his clutches in one way or another in ways that are both darker and more comical than any competing juvenile fiction series, and all are mysteriously recorded by one Lemony Snicket. I compare the film to the books, competing juvenile fiction series, the Lord of the Rings, other Jim Carrey movies, and a Smashing Pumpkins video. I look for motifs and theme (which are, to be sure, pretty obvious) and identify the cars. I love the film and lament the lack of a sequel.

Join me as I again join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs to watch the seventh episode of Community. We discuss how this episode feels out of place, girl bonding, Greendale's weird football field, Jeff and Annie. And say goodbye to Troy's interest in sports.

Join me for a rollicking pirate/ghost/zombie or whatever adventure as Disney has the bright idea to turn a mediocre amusement park ride into a gigantic movie franchise. This might be the film that kills Disney, since it kind of became their strategy to create tent-pole films out of existing properties with a big Johnny Depp-like (often Johnny Depp himself) star and forgot that you kind of need a good script to get the ball rolling. I analyze the plot, the curse, and the characters. I point out where the flab is (it's kind of overlong) but mostly have a lot of fun with it. I compare it a bit to the other films in the series, to other pirate movies, to romantic comedies, and to Master and Commander.

Join me for a sight-unseen analysis of the 2012 version of Total Recall. I claim that I won't play spot-the-differences but I kind of do. I analyze the different styles, the subtle differences in plot, and the believability of Colin Farrell as a superspy-turned-freedom-fighter-turned-welder. And I examine the influence of Minority Report, Blade Runner, and the Chinese market. I mix up the three gorgeous brunettes (I'm not always sure I can separate Colin Farrell from Kate Beckinsale). I might mistakenly call Jessica Biel "Jennifer Beals" at some point, I don't remember. I still mix up Michael Ironside and Michael Rooker.

Join Faldor of The Extended Edition podcast and me for a look at the Tom Clancy bromance that is Hunt for Red October. We praise the pace despite the fact that it's mostly people talking to each other. We discuss the way the opening hides Ramius' intentions. And we wonder whether or not the silent drive helps Ramius.

It's the heartwarming story of a streetwise con man and a upper crust commodities broker and the hooker he falls in love with and also his butler and their boss. Watch along as I explain how the story is set up very carefully to make us like the right people at the right time and turn things around in the right way when it's time. I love a tight screenplay and this is both tight and very funny. I talk about similar stories, discuss the careers of the various players, including the wonderful Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy, and examine the verisimilitude of its depiction of the 1980s commodities market. I call it nearly perfect and point out ways that it could be slightly better.

Join me as I join Mike and Max for a close examination of Coen's foray into screwball comedy. Close doesn't mean accurate, of course, and we fact check each other thruout. We discuss the Coen Brothers in general, the film's homage-heavy story, the choice of actors, the actors' choices, and the real history of the hula hoop. We consider the mish-mash of myth and fantasy, the stunning set design, how the stock market works, and basic physics.

Join me (or don't, if it's not in your self-interest) for a romp thru part one of Ayn Rand's garden of selfish delights. It's the heartwarming tale of two crazy corporate executives and their quest to figure out why the heck they can't get the steel and train engines they need and who this guy John Galt is. I explain who the heck Ayn Rand is and why she is so woefully wrong about economics, politics, and industry. And I compare the movie to 2-Headed Shark Attack and soap operas. I generally praise the sets and effects and acting, unlike the communists who write most of the reviews, but I admit that it's about as dull as people talking can be when your villain is a wrongheaded economic policy. But I have fun with it and keep it light.

Faldor joins me again for the second of the Bourne movies (unless you count the TV movie with Richard Chamberlain, WHICH NO ONE DOES). Faldor claims that it's a bad movie. I claim that it's a good movie—specifically: Frankenstein. We compare it to the first film, Frankenstein, Bond films, Close Encounters, The Story of Anne Frank, Pirates of the Caribbean, Ronin, and—very slightly—the book it's supposedly based on. We agree on almost all points and yet disagree on the overall quality of the film itself. We discuss various locations in Europe, and whether or not the plot is actually necessary to the story in this case. We rewrite the film to be more character-oriented. And we touch on how technology has advanced to the point that nearly all the "high tech" stuff could be done on an iPhone.

Join me for a gushing lovefest for Pixar's second feature film, A Bug's Life. I compare it to The Seven Samurai, The Magnificent Seven, The Three Amigos, The Wild One, and Disney and Warner Brothers cartoons. I praise the cinematography, story structure, cast, and anything else I can think of. And I call it nearly perfect several times. I discuss the scale of the picture, how the story elements work together, the various arcs of different characters. I explore other possible avenues for telling the story. I condemn cats. And I nearly drown myself.

Join me as I again join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs to watch the sixth episode of Community. We discuss how this episode feels out of place, girl bonding, Greendale's weird football field, Jeff and Annie. And say goodbye to Troy's interest in sports.

Join me for a lighthearted romp thru the annals of espionage and adventure with everyone's favorite international man of mystery, Austin Danger Powers. I analyze the film as a spy movie, a spoof, an homage, a pastiche, and a romantic comedy. I say I'm not going to play "spot the reference" but in fact I do. I forget to mention which actor who was one inspiration for the character of Austin Powers played his father in the third film (spoiler: Michael Caine). I point out the arcs of Austin, Vanessa, and Dr. Evil. I admire Elizabeth Hurley a bit too much. I make a few too many complaints about the other films in the series. And I reference the director's commentary a little too much. A good time was had by all until it became known that George W Bush liked doing Dr. Evil impressions.