It's Just Good Business!

In which our heroes gather all the extended family, chuck them in a house, and turn on the cameras as Ryder pitches a Familial Big Brother. We discuss the buying capabilities of children, wonder how long a family could survive, and try to remember Big Brother’s sleeping arrangements. Dad worries about the ethical implications, Jackson doesn’t want to get stuck with Nan on games night, and Ryder just wants to show off his impressive Big Brother knowledge. So get ready to tear your aunt in half over some fabricated drama. Its just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio  and for as little as $1 we can help tear a family apart.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes hire out a theatre hall, charge entry, and display the mundane as Dad pitches a bit of a pot luck before falling on Stuff Live. We discuss our issues with the art community, explore the fridges of others, and explain the plot of How to Eat Fried Worms. Ryder shows off his intimate knowledge of the family washing machine, Jackson tries to justify his desire to watch an obese person get washed, and Dad just wants to play potluck with his business ideas. So roll right up, enter the big tent and watch a person get their hair cut. its just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can help Dad purchase a sign that says "it's not art?"  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes train for months, become the best in their chosen field, and represent their country as Dad pitches A Novelty Olympics. We discuss the strategy involved in pass the parcel, suggest a flaming egg and spoon instead of a torch, and explain ghosties. Ryder is an arms dealer, Jackson wants to chuck out the gold, silver and bronze medals, Mum wants to see the Whizzy-Dizz as an olympic sport, and Dad just wants to take over the actual Olympics. So tie your legs together, yell marco, and see how long you can hold your breath. You’re representing your country out there and that’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can begin the intensive training of our athletes.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes turn on the tv, tune in to their favourite episode, and then become lonely as Ryder pitches a Movie Friend. We question our movie friends fondness for our favourite shows, worry that something will get stolen, and once again steal ubers business model. Jackson feels like the movie friends are getting a bum deal, mum feels uncomfortable having a stranger in the house, dad is curious about the price structure, and Ryder is just furious when people don’t invest. So arrive at a strangers house, sit down to an episode of Pretty Little Liars, and act as interested as humanly possible. Its just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can teach Ryder how to respond to customer complaints.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes get lonely, struggle to make friends, and require some avian company as Jackson pitches A Parrot Friend. We discuss the waywardness of the parrot, suggest alternate parrot careers, and the benefits of selling to the lonely. Ryder has no time for Jackson's pitch, Dad struggles to time his parrot correctly, and Jackson just wishes everyone could see him for the altruistic saint that he is. So decide on some key phrases you'd like your parrot to know, try and program into your parrot important dates, and then get angry that your parrot learned swears. It's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio  and for as little as $1 we can help dad use a parrot as a calendar.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes become nervous, begin to panic, and then seek blind assurance from a total stranger as Ryder pitches: Ringasurance. We discuss the moral quagmire employees will have to face, do our best soothing voices, and once again bend the definition of legal. Jackson wonders what their take on herbal medicine would be, Dad makes for a wonderful employee, and Ryder just wishes he could do a good ringing sound. So put your mind at rest, give us a ring, and let us tell you that whatever decision your about to make is absolutely the best one no matter what don't even worry. It's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can teach Ryder how to make a bring-bring sound.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes consider their next grand venture, have some doubts, so get a team of experts to make the decision for them as Dad pitches a five minute life. We discuss the glut of terrible authors, decide weather or not to become a pilot, and attempt to cheat Dads system. Dad attempts to integrate his business into the school system, Ryder imagines it as being a necessity for getting a job, and Jackson just wonders if deciding peoples lives in five minutes is such a good idea. So think of something you wanna do, write a five minute pitch as to why you’d be perfect at it, and get judged by a panel of experts who get to officially decide if your good enough. It’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can ensure five minute life is part of every resume.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes purchase a property, have some trouble with teens, and decide they need to employ some good old fashioned scare tactics as Jackson pitches a haunted property. We discuss the thoughts of crackheads, teach security guards spook-skills, and wonder if threatening someone is a crime when it obviously is. Jackson doesn't quite know what he's pitching, Dad shares his opinions on country museums, and Ryder just wants to eat some delicious chips without being disturbed. So jump in the Mystery Machine, grab your Scooby Snacks, and experience a business based almost entirely on the premise of Scooby Doo. It's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio  and for as little as $1 we can start spook-ifying your place of home or business.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes forget their bread, step in dog poop, and lose their keys as Dad pitches a small problem superhero. We try to figure out the small-problem problem areas, envisage a world where everyone is constantly monitored by a guy making sure you don't forget your wallet, and then attempt to figure out the cost of breeding people for their vigilance. Mum imagines an Orwellian nightmare, Jackson wonders how much making a superhero puts you back, Ryder calls Jackson out on his incompetence, and Dad just wants an actual super powered being and doesn't really care about the business side of things. So put on your special goggles, go shopping, and rest easy knowing you'll never get skim milk when you meant to get regular. It's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start selecting participants.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes develop feelings, get nervous, and require a third party go between as Ryder pitches a crush catcher. We discuss the need for outside help, the horror of having your crush asked out by your mum, and children that look like gnomes. Jackson can't help but imagine crush catchers as looking like old men, mum finds the whole thing slightly creepy, dad wants the crush catcher to go the extra mile, and Ryder just wishes people would pay attention to his original pitch. So finish your day job, check in with dispatch, and head to the nearest high school to tell some kid that some other kid finds them attractive for like 16 dollars an hour. It's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can help pay for the crush catchers fuel.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes come out of the oven, are placed on a wooden chopping board, and cut up for sandwiches as the Baly Family tries to reinvent bread. We rank the necessities, try to figure out what a tween is, and question the structural integrity of a bread based jacket. Jackson explains smartphones to his father, Ryder reuses a pitch, and Dad just can't see the problems inherent in using your bowl of soup to dip in your soup. So forget the old bread, it's a thing of the past, new bread is where it's at. (New bread is just old bread but different.) Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can help Ryder come up with a different pitch. And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes observe Mr and Mrs Johnson having marital problems, ignore the obvious course of action and instead suggest a desert island marriage counsellor. We discuss the boar situation, wonder if you can survive off nothing but coconuts and keep mentioning Jim Carrey movies. Ryder reckons people will hold out for maccas, Dad suggests illegally closing off a beach instead and Jackson just wants to force a divorce. So build a shelter out of palm leaves, bond over the terrible things that are happening and island the problem away. Re-enact that Tom Hanks film but this time with love instead of a volleyball, and that’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can buy this island. And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ and vote for us in the Podcast Awards here...  See acast

In which our heroes regress to infant-hood, do their best to get comfy, and commute to work as Dad pitches the Man Pram and Pram Madame. We discuss the difficulty in having a stroller deemed roadworthy, the unfortunate question of wiping, and decide dock-workers would make the most appropriate nannies. Jackson wonders if the world would ever really be ready for adult-prams, Ryder hires a maxi-pram for him and the boys, and Dad just wants his sons to know how hard he had it in his day. So climb aboard, set your course for the park, and pretend to be a baby I guess. It's 100% comfort guaranteed and that’s just good business!. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start funding this hair-brained idea. And don’t forget to purchase your copy of Plumbing the Death Star Vol. 1 right now available at https://audiobooksontape.com/shop/plumbing-death-star-bonus/ and vote for us in the Podcast Awards here...  See acast

In which our heroes develop artificial intelligence, create sustainable mechanical bodies, and then use it all to make a servant as they all pitch a Robot Butler. We discuss the need for legs, briefly touch on the uncanny valley, and describe how big a shoebox is. Ryder is willing to let people fall in love with his creation, Dad creates a robot that hates itself, and Jackson just embarrasses himself at the robotics convention. So let a dangerous AI into your home, give it full access to your things, and just hope it doesn't end in bloody murder and robot existential crisis's, even though it definitely will. That’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start producing butlers by the truckfull.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes buy a ticket, board a boat, and shed their old identity for a new one as Ryder pitches a be who you want cruise. We express our feelings on Jonathans, explore some negative stereotypes about booksellers, and talk about the spirituality of Space. Dad wants desperately to be Tarzan, Jackson thinks he could do a better job with a bus and a box full of wigs, and Ryder just ends up bitter and angry that no one likes his idea. So breathe in that salty sea air, throw on a Hawaiian shirt, and adopt the name Jai for the next week, either way it's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start looking for Ryder’s perfect hundred-million dollar yacht  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes are given a choice, find themselves without the necessary faculties to make a decision, and attempt to hire a third party to guide them as Jackson pitches a Decision Maker. We discuss the various grades of decision, euthanising nan, and give a historical perspective on the decision making profession. Jackson thinks a decision maker is a 24/7 deal, Dad doesn't want the decision maker to get into trouble, and Ryder just wants to bring god into it. So call up, pay a hefty $5.50 a minute, and get your decisions made for you, either way it's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can can help Jon Baly sign a record deal.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes look down at their bodies, shake their heads, and decide to get some exercise as we pitch different gyms. We discuss the merits of Gatorade, explain the game of brandy, and work out just enough to hit par. Dad wants to harness the power of gym junkies, Jackson wants their to be more games of chasey in his fitness regime, and Ryder just criticises Jackson's fire-making abilities. So work those muscles, pump that iron, and try not to accidentally cause a circus to happen. It's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can can help make Ryder’s dream of making a burger, healthfood, and gym trifecta a reality.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes take a look at the distance between the dining table and the fridge, look down at their own garbage legs, and decide there has to be a better way as Ryder pitches The Chair-Easy. We consider giving the chairs personalities, discuss the benefits of chorizo based advertising, and count the amount of times Ryder eats a killer python. Dad reminds Ryder that electric wheelchairs already exist, Jackson is worried about Quick-Jimmy down the road, and Ryder just refuses to innovate. So give up, let your legs atrophy, and spend a good part of your life in a moving chair. It’s just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start producing the only chair you'll ever need.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes hit retirement age, find the pension lacking, and seek employment doing what they do best as Jackson pitches Rent-a-Nan. We discuss the exploitation of grandparents, the dangers of punk nans, and try to trade our nans for cash. Ryder wants to know what upgrades are available, Dad is worried that Jackson is an unethical business man, and Jackson just thinks he's doing the nans a favour! So call one of our many roving nans, get yourself a fresh apple pie, and try not to think about how similar this is to an escort service. Or don’t. Either way, it's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help pay nans to do what they already do. The annual podcast awards are open for nominations so just head to http://www.podcastawards.com and nominate your favourite show and let’s see if we can get them on the list!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes grow up, forget how to have fun, but then open up the toy box as Dad and Mum pitch a toy for grownups. We discuss modular apartment sets, inflatable tunnels, and explain LARPing. Dad wants to teach adults how to play again, Mum says some choice things about Antonio, Ryder paints a disturbing picture of Glen’s life, and Jackson just wants a post-moon astronaut action figure. So invite your friends around, choose your favourite modern stereotype, and try to rediscover your ability to play pretend. Either way, it's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can get these dolls on the production line.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.