It's Just Good Business!

In which our heroes grab a bottle, scoop up some delicious air and attempt to sell it to the populous as Dad pitches Air-in-a-Can. We discuss the complicated taste of nan’s house, the process of bottling air and try to capture actual lightning. Ryder worries about people becoming addicted, Jackson is happy that there's a new thing to go along with food and water and Dad just wants to lie to people about where their air comes from. So huff some Absent-Dad, mix Tropical-Beach with Thunderstorm and try to figure out how exactly one gets the air out of the bottle in the first place. Either way, that’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us set up air-mixology schools all over the country.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes buy a regular chocolate bar, smash it with a hammer, and attempt to sell it as Jackson pitches Crumblesnax. We wonder what part of the Mars Bar is trademarked, think of 101 potential uses, and imagine the inevitable Current Affair expose scandal. Dad doesn't think anyone could eat a whole candy bar in one go, Ryder gives Jackson some important information about manufacturing, and Jackson just wants everyone to suck it down! So replace all your food with a more expensive crushed up version of something you already eat but which is in no way better. Or don’t. Either way, that’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help Jackson patent his very own Sram Bar.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes open the freezer, cool down their drinks, and preserve meat as they come up with a new way to sell ice. We discuss the struggling ice trade, try to avoid choking on shaped ice, and explore the etiquette of frozen statues. Ryder remembers a simpler time when ice was just ice, Dad makes his add campaign about fitness and Jackson just wants to sell his extreme ice to the teens, because that's where the money is. So head on down to your local service station, try to choose the perfect ice for you, and then realise, rightly so, that it's actually all just frozen water. New Ice, Ice Classic or Ice Xtreme, either way, that’s just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us pay for Tony Hawk’s appearance fees.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes refuse an education, ignore their teacher, and surreptitiously use their iPad in class as Ryder pitches: the iSneek. We discuss Ryders eventual legal battle with the board of education, talk product branding and wonder if interrupting a child’s learning is a crime. Dad isn't sure where he stands on the whole issue, Jackson tries to improve broccoli, and Ryder just grins and drives away in his Lamborghini. So give your sly old teacher the finger, pay a respectable $8 and refuse to ever learn again. Either way, that’s just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us ensure that Ryder has enough gas to fuel his Lambo. And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes shed their mortal coil, wave goodbye to their loved ones, but also for some reason want to be buried with all their skin flakes and fingernails as Dad pitches: a lifetime of resin. We talk about how much resin you would conceivably need, the threat of getting cloned, and foreskins. Ryder worries about putting out his barber, Jackson dips a mohel in resin, and Dad just wants to explain that it's Mum's idea, not his. So upset your friends and family, explain to them that it's about privacy and get your boogers encased in resin. Either way, it’s just good resin. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help us ensure that our resin supplies are plentiful. And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-ou

In which our heroes decide they need a pet, can't afford one, and so try renting instead as Jackson pitches: A Pet Rental. We discuss the need for goons, ponder the cost of running a farm, and do 1940s Gangster accents. Dad thinks it's somehow unethical, Ryder wonders why Jackson keeps pitching animal business, and Jackson just wants to apply the loan-shark method of profiteering to pets. So head to the loudest, noisiest warehouse around, choose a pet out of the three tiers, and then fuck it all off and choose the party camel. It's the best decision you'll ever make, and that’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help oversee the care for the animals.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes commit a minor crime, feel real bad about it, and want to confess as Ryder pitches a confessional. We discuss the wider implications of stealing a freddo frog, the many benefits of having someone else choose your girlfriend, and the infidelity of Peter. Jackson does a ripper texan accent, Dad doesn't believe in the whole premise and Ryder just promises one hundred percent guilt gone. So gather up your sins, head to the shady part of town and get your guilt removed. For a price. Guilty or not, it's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help everyone confess.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes take their paycheque, head on down to the casino, and discover that all the staff are dogs as Jackson pitches a dog casino. We discuss the natural inclination  for dogs to gamble, the moral implications of teach a pug blackjack, and the raw power of a roomba. Ryder is incredibly unimpressed, Dad wonders about animal rights, and Jackson forgets dogs don't have money. So wag your tail, clock in, and work four hours at a casino. Either way, it's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help pay the dogs wages.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes head down to the pub, try to impress their mates, and then lie about their job as Dad pitches: Scenarios. We discuss the different scenario tiers, the mystery of a private jet, and snidey children. Ryder confuses the 74' olympics and the 74th olympics, Jackson wonders why he'd pay for a lie he could just tell anyway, and Dad just hopes no one looks too deeply into dark scenarios. So go shopping for a brand new life, spend impossible amounts of money, and maybe actually end up in space. Either way, it's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help Dad impress people at the pub.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes approach a table full of patrons, attempt to guess what they want to eat, and fail miserably as we discuss a restaurant without a menu. We know exactly what Matt Preston wants to eat, make people pay before they've even ordered, and tap into the spiritual realm. Jackson won’t stop suggesting steak and eggs, Dad wonders what the point of the whole operation is, and Ryder just wishes we'd stop focussing on the lack of menu (even though that's all there is). So throw some magic bones in a pile, try to use some cold reading tricks, and get it right like 50% of the time. Either way, it's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help Ryder pay for all the food he throws out.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes attend a camp, commit a murder, then find out the murder was all staged and become a stronger team as a result, as Jackson pitches a Dark Secrets Retreat. We wonder what's wrong with our sales team, find out which employees are disloyal, and try to figure out a way to commit the perfect (fake) murder. Dad calls Jackson out, Ryder wants to know what happens when you go for the second year, and Jackson just worries about his eventual negative yelp review. So pack up your stuff, wave goodbye to your family, prepare for the greatest summer ever and then experience a pretty terrible event.   Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 you can help fund the therapy required to mend some severe mental damages.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes part with their loved ones, split their possessions two ways, but decide they should still celebrate, as Dad pitches a Reverse Wedding. We discuss the bonus of another party, duck as the flower girl throws rocks at us, and prepare for the eventual brawl. Jackson struggles to imagine a market, Ryder does his best to perform the ceremony, and Dad just wants everyone to know he could have pitched a cafe. So become incredible close to your scrapbooker, get withdrawal when they eventually leave, and go back and hire him for another year. It's just good business. Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start looking for a place prepared for a brawl.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes get out the glue and scissors, pick up a candy wrapper, and place it in their scrapbook as Jackson pitches a Personal Scrapbooker. We discuss the awkwardness of having a person with us 24/7, try to recall "the crocodile bar", and try not to commit murder. Dad doesn't want anyone present during intimate times, Ryder thinks it would make a pretty good present, and Jackson just realises he's made a terrible mistake. So become incredible close to your scrapbooker, get withdrawal when they eventually leave, and go back and hire him for another year. Or don’t. Either way, it's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can help Jackson record the lives of the incredibly rich.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes smash their axes against their shields, fire their flintlock pistols, and hop in their flying cars as Ryder pitches a Viking Land, a Pirate Land, and a Future Land. We discuss the necessity of the waiver, subject tourists to the stocks, and join a raiding party. Jackson focusses too much of his attention on Future Land, Dad feels entitled to a raiding party, and Ryder just wants to make a jelly that tastes like chops. So hoe into a future steak, make sure to call your phone a future phone so as to avoid punishment, and then retire to your spa and hotel. The only thing that separates them is time or costumes. Either way, it’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can help Ryder make the three greatest parks ever created.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes strap on sweat bands, realise they need to get into shape and then run straight into a maze as Jackson pitches the Fitness Maze. We discuss the logistics of moving hedges, the psychological damage of being held prisoner and remember that rain exists. Dad is worried this is one of his ideas, Ryder keeps comparing it to Hunger Games and Jackson just wants to be a fat bully. So give Jackson your full support as he looks to ruin people physically and mentally in the name of weight loss, or don't, because you have morals. Either way, it's just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can help these us lose weight!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes put on their Santa hats, put out some milk and cookies, decorate the tree and pitch three Holiday Businesses for our Christmas special! We discuss the need for Santa to have a security detail, the importance of drug testing Santa, and bemoan societies reliance on signs. Ryder provides the homeless with the opportunity to reinforce a child’s belief, Jackson wants the ultimate Christmas factory and Dad just wants to create a global mythology. So drink up your eggnog, keep the Christmas Dream alive, avoid ratty children, and one up your neighbour. We’re going to try and bring back the true meaning of Christmas; punishment. It's just Good Business. Want to help hire river goblins to punish your dumb kid? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we'll send a one around and whatever happens after that isn't on us.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes attempt to get spiritual, ruin a child’s birthday and cause trauma as Dad pitches a Murderous Cafe. We discuss the ethical consequences of animal murder, get shady about eating whole chickens and just ruin Trevor's special day. Jackson needs help with the butchering, Dad wants customers to really experience their steaks and Ryder gives a no straight off the bat. So give Dad money for his incredibly dangerous cafe and fund crimes, or don't, either way, that’s just good business! Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start preparing the livestock.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes ignore their customers, start fights, and insult patrons as Dad pitches a Rude Cafe. We discuss the price of a lettuce, the benefits of hiring convicts, and sweet revenge. Jackson suggests a meth lab as an alternative, Dad is a man before his time, and Ryder is just having none of it. So give nan a ring, don't tell her too many details, and prepare for a night of fun. It's a win win, or a win lose or a lose lose, either way, that’s just good business!?? Want to help get this terrible idea off the ground? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 we can start looking for convicts with the ideal rap sheet.??  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A new series in which our Baly branded heroes take their considerable collective savvy to the business world. Today, Big Daddy Baly pitches a business without the business to his skeptic sons Jackson and Ryder, who are very concerned with the bicycle to mango smoothie exchange rate and worry about crushing debt. But when you've got a bunch of random stuff to trade, who needs money? That's just good business. Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can stick it to the man.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes give you a taste of things to come.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.