Movie Mastery

A German animated film about the dangers of wealth and the corruption of morality. Just kidding. Some dogs get a mansion and then do a Home Alone on some truly grotesque bad guys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The final film from beloved actor Sean Connery and the first feature length animated film from Scotland. It is also so bafflingly terrible that Jon kind of lost his mind while trying to review it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The cult classic fantasy/action/sci-fi film that that had some awesome ideas and also some poor execution. At least we get a young Liam Neeson that just looks happy to be there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We take a look at a Jackie Chan movie that revolves around two professional thieves that become unlikely parents when they steal a baby. Hijinks but definitely not enjoyment ensues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A swashbuckling, fantasy, space opera, comedy that fails to effectively be any of those things. But hey, it's got a young Ron Perlman and Anjelica Huston. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Godzilla runs a victory lap around all of his various kaiju nemeses in this 50th anniversary film. Plus some added in aliens, mutants, and Mayor Hagar from Final Fight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A Batman movie with almost no Batman. This is an animated Suicide Squad film where they got to imply some nudity and they took full advantage of it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I thought when we rolled into getting to watch a Richard Pryor film that it would be a nice treat. It was, sadly, not. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dolph Lundgren in a movie that tries to blend medieval fantasy with modern warfare and ends up being mostly back and forth shots of people pretending to shoot guns and then falling down but some of them wear jerkins, I guess. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The old random number generator has really been punishing us the past few episodes and the hits just keep on comin. At least it isn't Baby Ghost. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We look at a claymation satire of the 80's cop films that manages to be mostly preachy about how therapy turns you into less of a man. You can imagine we have opinions on this. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Martin Sheen has a little brother and he apparently was cursed by a witch to never be able to turn down a movie. And boy does this technically, barely count as a movie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A movie that makes fun of the hypocrisy of the Christian faith's message and the actions their followers take. Definitely not going to get in trouble for anything we say during this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I fucked up and made Jef watch a halfway decent movie from the Halloween series instead of one of the absolute trash ones that come before and after this one. My apologies to the audience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A movie that takes itself far too seriously given that it is on the level of Underworld fan fiction. Maybe lean into the fact that your story is goofy as fuck. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The story of Aladdin as a musical brought to you by Disney. Not the animated classic, the live action one. No, not the new live action one, the one from 1990. Yeah, the shitty one. That one.

It’s Horrortoberfest and that means I get to force Jef to watch a dumb horror movie and I timed this one to coincide with one of the worst franchise horror films around. Aint I a stinker?

A sequel of sorts to the excellent A Goofy Movie, this film sees Max going off to college. This is such a big life change that the characters all seem to suddenly stop acting like they used to and mostly being unlikable idiots/assholes.

Part of the larger “Roger Corman goes to Argentina” Cinematic Universe. Just be aware, this one has a lot of rape in it and is deeply uncomfortable to watch.

Netflix’s first attempt at making a blockbuster film is mostly fantasy racism and copaganda set in a world where they didn’t spend more than minute thinking about world building and the implications of the setting.