Movie Mastery

A SyFy Original TV movie where an asteroid freezes everything around it and also it's Christmas time. I don't know, I let Jef pick this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A movie about a man willing to commit several major felonies and some light murder just so his family doesn't have to move from their home to an apartment. Dude loves him some suburbs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You'll come to see Ray Wise be a manic sex pest and then stay because you already turned it on and it would be effort to put on something else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A movie about how rich, old money white men can do whatever they want and if anyone tries to stop them, they're the bad guy. Also magic or something. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I guess the idea that being a vampire might not be great was novel in Canada in the 90's because this movie really focuses exclusively on that like it was going to blow your mind. It then does absolutely nothing else with its runtime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A knock-off Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis drag poor Bela Lugosi on screen to be as unlikeable as possible at him. Eventually, there is a gorilla. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nic Cage in a movie that seemed to be tailor made to have Nic Cage in it while simultaneously unsure of what to do with him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A stoner horror movie that doesn't attempt to even remotely be scary but also doesn't lean into the stoner comedy aspect either. Just a big pile of nothing that wastes everybody's time. Just like us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A cash grab mockbuster of Suicide Squad about fairy tale villains fighting against the forces of Death. A sentence that makes this absolute boring turd sound way more interesting than it is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The UK tries to get in on the Corman trend of using Vincent Price in Edgar Allan Poe movies but messes it up so badly that it is almost impressive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trying to cash in on the Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers but having none of the charm and fun that made those work. With special guest James D'Amato! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We just keep randomly getting animated movies for some reason. Blessedly, this one is not a low budget European turd but a fairly decent high budget one that got no promotion and nobody heard of. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A German animated film about the dangers of wealth and the corruption of morality. Just kidding. Some dogs get a mansion and then do a Home Alone on some truly grotesque bad guys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The final film from beloved actor Sean Connery and the first feature length animated film from Scotland. It is also so bafflingly terrible that Jon kind of lost his mind while trying to review it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The cult classic fantasy/action/sci-fi film that that had some awesome ideas and also some poor execution. At least we get a young Liam Neeson that just looks happy to be there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We take a look at a Jackie Chan movie that revolves around two professional thieves that become unlikely parents when they steal a baby. Hijinks but definitely not enjoyment ensues. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A swashbuckling, fantasy, space opera, comedy that fails to effectively be any of those things. But hey, it's got a young Ron Perlman and Anjelica Huston. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Godzilla runs a victory lap around all of his various kaiju nemeses in this 50th anniversary film. Plus some added in aliens, mutants, and Mayor Hagar from Final Fight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A Batman movie with almost no Batman. This is an animated Suicide Squad film where they got to imply some nudity and they took full advantage of it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I thought when we rolled into getting to watch a Richard Pryor film that it would be a nice treat. It was, sadly, not. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices