You Are Being Unreasonable

"If you don't want to see that thong, don't play the song." Thanks to everyone who sent us Mumsnet AIBU threads this week for us to discuss. We really appreciate you wading into the forums on our behalf. Glasses upon glasses in this episode as we invoice babies for broken wine glasses and improve Les Misérables with a spectacles-focused reimagining. We also take children up Mount Everest for a picnic and Sisqó requests to see that thong during the general swim session.

"Nom nom, pizza pizza." This week, we wade once more into the hellscape of Mumsnet. We discover a house set on fire in a celebratory fashion, drive-by pizza accidents, six year-olds drinking Pornstar Martinis, and Paul Hollywood's sex-gut.

"Love juice." It's a baby-filled episode this week as we discuss Royal babies, recruiting babies as firefighters, trusting infants to deal with in-flight emergencies, and taking children to job interviews, and whether babies should have tans. We also demand haircuts as our birthright and petition for the nationalisation of shampoo. You can vote for us in the Listeners' Choice Award category at the British Podcast Awards at https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/vote Go do that.

"Am I being unreasonable to sing an adapted version of Blurred Lines to my cat?" We're back! After our break, MumsNet overfloweth with baffling threads. This week, we replace /everything/ with Peppa Pig, we eat a Tudor buffet at our desks in the office, we go to Robin Thicke-friendly churches, and Detective Pikachu investigates our local corner shop.

"Let's hear it for the grans!" It's a GransNet special! This week, we delve into GransNet and discover the annoyingly reasonable grans of this forum: we dress like dowdy sacks of pasta, children are brainwashed by Postcode Lottery to forget the true meaning of Easter, aliens make contact with strangers in vans, and we meet our best new recurring character, Coffee Sue.

"I just wanted a Dine-In-For-Two and now I'm in jail." This week, we burn our trousers, we speculate about the family of [Family relation]Net sites, and we get unreasonably het up about seat reservations on trains.

"Muttering incantations in the long-forgotten eldritch language of the Elder Gods is a bit much." This week, we endlessly move their fruit bowl to keep up with the neighbours, we ponder the inscrutable and impossible geometry of the mysterious box room, and Simon gets obsessed with summoning the Elder Forgotten Gods.

"Get your own baby fashion, motherfucker." This week we're joined by very special guest star, Fiona Ashley, who joins us as we escape a first date by having a wee in a cab, we finally throw away that portrait of Mussolini that brings us now joy, we get disinvited from a dog wedding, and Fi provides a perfect summary of Disney's Frozen (2013) leading us to accidentally write some erotic fan-fiction. Onwards and upwards, goodbye!

"And also don't let your five year-old walk around a museum saying "Fuck you" to all the paintings. That's not OK." This week, we do yoga on a plane in 1977, we cry about everything from Rothkos to breakfast gravy, and Simon launches his London mayoral campaign.

"What's the Little Red Hen got to do with it? It should be the Little Red State." This week on You Are Being Unreasonable, we consider ourselves very lucky to have found such great topics to discuss: library Oompa-Loompas segregating adults and children, driving middle-class friends to Waitrose for veg, and, as always, Hugh Jackman's 2017 movie The Greatest Showman.

"Jam, not ham!" In this episode of You Are Being Unreasonable, we "let" Alexa "come" to "live" with us, we don't answer the door, we dip bananas in margarine, and we get surprisingly serious about workers' rights and small business ownership.

"Am I being unreasonable re. shitting man?" In this sixth episode of You Are Being Unreasonable, we ask about toilet etiquette, we drink ONLY the freshest of milks, and we meet BBC One's newest detectives, Driver and Pedestrian. (We had some trouble with the audio on this one so, particularly in the first five minutes, it might be bit janky. Sorry!)

"Water, pour with me." This week, we mash food for children, we listen to the sounds of water, and we build a bin-fort!

"Next thing you know you're drinking a flaming glass of milk." In this episode, we explore clichéd mother-in-law drama, the social anxieties of going to a pub, and we uncover the secrets of the New New World Order.

This week, we cower as postmen try to deliver post to us, we get our bedsheets all sweaty with fever, and we discover the identity of the Greatest Wizard.

In our second episode of You Are Being Unreasonable, people are furious about early Christmas shoppers, book etiquette is discussed, wedding speeches are made, and chickens are released. (The audio for this episode got a bit heavily clipped so some sentences might cut off prematurely. Sorry!)