Unsoulmated Podcast (or How To Ruin A Lasting Marriage With A Divorce)

Day 83. An emotional day having to go back to my attorney to deal with my ex's request for alimony. On top of that stress, my ex turns to me to help her with her ailing dog, and I visit an old location that brings me to tears.

Day 82. Just as I finished recording today's episode about how my ex is able to make a situation about myself and my struggles into another focus on her instead, I get a notification from my attorney with some bad news that hit me from out of nowhere.

Day 81. One of the stages of healing after a divorce is retracing your steps to further understand what went wrong. This can eventually lead down the road of wondering how things would have turned out had you done things differently, even to the point of marrying someone other than your ex. Is fate an inevitable outcome we cannot control? Or do we have a say in how our relationships would have ended up?

Day 80. One of the things that has driven me to the decision to try and accept the idea of being single for the remainder of my life is the difficulty I have had most of my life finding someone who shared the same interests that I had, on the level that my ex and I had. The outlook doesn't look good and unless God has a bigger plan for me, I need to relearn how to enjoy movies and television on my own again.

Day 79. Off and on I get a text from my Lost Soulmate and up until now I had been ignoring them and not responding but when I get a phone call from her, I decide to pick up and am now worried that I may have opened a Pandora's Box for myself.

Day 78. As I adjust the the joys of living single (with kids) I am finding that I am already getting comfortable with this lifestyle. But something about the way my ex has been behaving tells me things may change for her and if and when it does, am I to be the one to be responsible for picking her back up?

Day 77. I have gotten a lot of invitations to hang out with other single, divorced guys but I am trying to maintain my positive healing and believe spending physical time with other divorced men right now would be counterproductive.

Day 76. Another night of not being able to sleep much so I revisit my old Facebook posts from when I first found out about the end of my marriage through the month and a half after and am reminded of all of the stages of grief I went through during that period.

Day 75. My ex and I were one of those couples that never farted in front of each other and looking back, it is very telling what that meant about us as a couple and is an early indicator of how her new relationship will end up when I realize her crappy intentions from last night.

Day 74. A little family drama shakes up the peace I had been trying to bring about in my world so I have to address it immediately and hope everyone plays nice moving forward.

Day 73. I reflect on the things about myself that I did not realize I was doing while being married. Having this reflection allows me to see where I was unintentionally being a martyr to allow my wife to "be herself", I had to adjust how I practiced having Faith to accommodate my wife, and where I did not realize that my wife was not the most beautiful woman in the world.

Day 72. As the separation becomes more real with my ex preparing to move out, it seems the emotions related to this major change is affecting her more than it is affecting me.

Day 71. Pride continues to be the foundation for a lot of the heartache I have been going through and even now, as my ex-wife prepares to move out, I am having to deal with the pain in the butt that is pride.

Day 70. My ex comes to me with another shift in the timeline as far as her plans go. But unlike the previous times when she adjusted her timelines due to impatience, this is one change that I am excited to hear is happening sooner than she originally told me it would.

Day 69. Having suffered to heartbreaks in less than three months really drives the point that I need to focus on being single. And why not? I just got this newfound freedom, I need to let it have time to gestate as I go through the joys and oh-boys of single life.

Day 68. I recall how bad my dating experiences were and share some examples of what I do not look forward to if I were to ever consider dating again.

Day 67. Post-divorce has been surprisingly pleasant. The me two months ago would have never anticipated that I would be doing so well after the divorce and some people are having a hard time believing me when I say that I am doing fine.

Day 66. I learning to accept certain new dynamics that I will have to become accustomed to as time goes by, post-divorce. One that I am not ready for is any reason to like the man who my ex left me for, even when my ex explains to me that he has Asperger Syndrome.

Day 65. I get bad advice from my brother that reminds me of my past struggles with anger management. Being in a better place today allows me to reflect on myself, then and now.

Day 64. Revisiting the idea of being single and staying single becomes more appealing after my recent bouts with trying to have a relationship. But then I would risk the chance of being labeled as one of the many guys out there who give guys a bad name.