Everything Happens With Kate Bowler

Julia Samuel is a psychologist in the UK who specializes in working with families who have experienced complicated stories of loss and love. So often we can feel overwhelmed by our histories – our family histories – and need a boost to confront dysfunction, speak the truth, and find trusted people to help us look back and look forward. In this episode, Kate and Julia discuss:  What to do when we’ve inherited the pain of our parents or grandparents and when our own problems might be the pain we pass down How we navigate generational divides especially around how we express our feelings How to not pass down inherited trauma by understanding our bigger family webs This conversation also is a much-needed reminder that you in all your actual problems and actual pain are far better than any idealized version of you. And maybe that is the exact honesty that might offer us and our families the freedom we long for.CW: mention of suicide, some spicy adult language :) ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click h

How do we gather in meaningful ways? After the pandemic took apart so many of our favorite ways of hanging out, we might be out of practice. Or too tired or overwhelmed. Priya Parker is an expert facilitator who encourages us all to practice being together for different reasons. And they don’t have to be nearly as fancy or predictable as we might think…In this episode, Kate and Priya discuss:  How do we show up for other people and ourselves in creative ways  How to know when a change might be needed in a regular gathering  Risk and the awkwardness of needing people ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold.We are going to pr

Jay and Katherine Wolf were 26 years old, newly married, and brand new parents when Katherine survived a brain stem stroke that upended their lives. That was fifteen years ago. Today, they continue to live with the enduringness of recovery, caregiving, and care-receiving, all while trying to maintain hope. Theirs is a story of commitment and love in the face of tremendous odds. In this episode, Kate, Jay, and Katherine discuss:  Why, in the face of impossible circumstances, sometimes the best we can do is to learn to love what must be done How to talk to your kids about the difficulties they might face The different experiences of being a caregiver and care-receiver over the long haul The story of hope and love that Jay and Katherine live into Why you are worth caring for—no matter how broken your body or mind or heart is I felt so grateful to speak with them fifteen years after the original crisis. This tender conversation offers a wide view of their story of hard-won hope.P.S. If you are someone for whom pe

Theologian Stanley Hauerwas has written some of the most influential books on religion in the 20th century. But behind closed doors, he was suffering more than most of us knew. Here, Kate and Stanley talk candidly about his rollercoaster highs and lows of being married to someone with severe mental illness. And why doesn’t God fix our pain? They have some spicy opinions about that. In this episode, Kate and Stanley discuss:  Why Christians are not exempt from difficult circumstances Why people need fewer explanations (and why Stanley is suspicious of anyone who demands them) Stanley’s advice for going through something difficult CW: bipolar, mental illness***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals f

Melissa Urban’s (CEO of The Whole30) experience of chronic illness forced her to accept her body’s limitations. You are going to love her practical advice for setting healthy boundaries as a way to protect our relationships, manage our limited capacity (especially for those of us navigating chronic pain or illness or caregiving), and remind ourselves of our inherent worth (regardless of how much you can do).In this episode, Kate and Melissa discuss:  How boundaries help us better live inside our limitations The signs that a better boundary is needed  How to manage the awkwardness of saying no  How the Spoon Theory helps us understand limited capacity CW: sexual abuse, addiction***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUG

Writer Jeff Chu was raised in a devout Chinese Baptist community, yet struggled to reconcile being gay with the conservative faith of his family. And the feeling of not-quite-belonging gave his life a strong purpose. He became a journalist and a pastor determined to make communities a place where you don’t actually have to “fit in” to belong.  In this episode, Kate and Jeff discuss:  Navigating certainty and doubt when ambiguity is so uncomfortable Why great resumes sometimes mask lives of pain How Jeff has discovered grace for himself and his family (and others who many have different versions of faithfulness) ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever

Writer Mary Laura Philpott had all the regular kind of parental worries until her teenage son had his first seizure. She had to learn to balance her fear alongside her love all the while recognizing that everyone has something they are dealing with.  In this episode, Kate and Mary Laura discuss:  Why love sometimes makes us afraid for all we have to lose Why remembering that “everyone has something” can make us feel less alone (and more likely to bring snacks) Why worry isn’t the mental work we think it is CW: epilepsy***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is available wherever books are sold and now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold. To learn more about listener data and o

Thomas Lynch is an essayist, poet, and funeral director in Milford, Michigan, where he has served since 1974 when he took over the trade from his father. Thomas speaks honestly about life and death and mortality from what he’s learned, standing so close to the edge. In this episode, Kate and Thomas discuss:  What elements make up a good funeral How the habits of love are hard to break, no matter how old the person died who you grieve How those we grieve know our hearts and our love more fully I don’t know quite how to express this, but holy crap. This is one of the best conversations I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to hear what you think.CW: suicide, death***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold and now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Chec

Arthur Brooks was a professional musician and spent his twenties touring all over the world. Until one day, he stopped being able to hit the notes. He had to reinvent himself entirely, and wonder… what does happiness look like after I lose the career I had worked so hard for? Now, Arthur writes about high achievers and how they might find meaning and purpose as they experience decline in their bodies or minds or in careers through his bestselling book, Strength to Strength. In this episode, Kate and Arthur discuss:  What he calls “The Strivers Curse” and why high achievers may not feel as satisfied by life as they age What is more important than success and amassing wealth (spoiler alert: it has to do with love) Why happiness is something we should take seriously (but why it is not as simple as ‘CHOOSE HAPPINESS’) Not everyone in this community is #winning at life. For those of us who have been forced off the productivity train, fallen down the success ladder, and now find ourselves wondering if we could be m

Many of us miss the churches of our childhood and are trying to figure out what pieces of our faith to keep and which to leave behind. My guest today knows that better than anyone. Randall Balmer is a historian of American religion at Dartmouth College, THE expert of American evangelicalism, and a pastor’s kid (PK!) of a fundamentalist preacher.  In this conversation, Kate and Randy talk about:  How to reconcile the evangelism of today with its progressive past The cost of a more manufactured worship experience Why they both value those stray moments of faith What (if any) hope is there for evangelicalism  Maintaining faith when you’ve been hurt by the church Kate ends with a blessing for when faith sometimes breaks your heart.***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Looking for some s

Ibram Kendi and Kate Bowler have more in common than they would have liked. Historians and professors. Parents of young kids. Diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer at age 35. No history of the disease in their families. In this conversation, Dr. Ibram Kendi (who Time magazine’s called one of the most influential people of 2020) and Kate discuss:  How a diagnosis like the one they share creates a sense of urgency in their work How to address the policies behind health care disparities Why addressing racism with your kids is an act of courageous living The importance of recognizing our own fragility Learning to celebrate scars as evidence of life CW: colon cancer ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40i

I'm Kate Bowler and I am so excited to be back for another season of EVERYTHING HAPPENS. A podcast where we don't have to pretend to explain away our suffering. If your life is not going the way you hoped, I'm someone you do not have to pretend around.About seven years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer at age 35. And I have ruined small talk ever since. Thanks to the wonders of immunotherapy, I'm no longer in that sort of endless danger zone of cancer, but it means that I live with my body, often breaking as a kind of chronic condition. And I imagine that's where a lot of us find ourselves one way or another with lives that keep sometimes breaking.So often people want us to say the easy thing like something terrible happens and we're supposed to say "everything happens for a reason." Or "it made me who I am today." We find ourselves surrounded by a culture who loves us for our positive mindset or our willingness to buy essential oils from our cousin named Jennifer. But on this podcast, we're goi

In this special episode, Kate visited the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, at Lambeth Palace in London.In this funny and poignant conversation, the Archbishop and Kate discuss: Why sometimes we feel God’s love (or don’t)  How to pray when you have run out of words (he gives us permission to be impolite with God) Why he is suspicious of joy, and why they both use the theology of Winnie the Pooh  How people in emotionally expensive professions can feel permission to do small acts of love (and angry when it’s not enough) ***Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Be sure to subscribe to our weekly email for blessings all summer long.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privac

How is it that joy and pain seem to coexist at once? Susan Cain (author of the bestseller Quiet) explores this question in her new book, Bittersweet. In this conversation, Kate and Susan discuss: How we are literally hardwired for compassion  Susan’s advice for pushing back against compassion fatigue How that feeling of longing isn’t something to be ashamed of but allows us to see things clearly—the beautiful and the terrible If you ever feel like you didn’t have a word for the sweetness of longings (and why your compassionate heart is a gift), this conversation is for you. ***Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Be sure to subscribe to our weekly email for bits of wisdom, prayers, free downloads, and more.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold. To learn more about liste

When a random weight-lifting accident left cardiologist Dr. Haider Warraich in chronic pain, he went from being a physician to being a patient in one moment. His experience of chronic pain gives him a hard won insight as he reexamines how we understand and treat pain.In this conversation, Kate and Haider discuss: the difference between pain and suffering why pain might be subjective, yet should be taken just as seriously (and perhaps invites doctors to not just treat blood work or an x-ray, but the patient in front of them) why we should erase the arbitrary demarkations between mind and body when it comes to understanding and treating chronic pain the value of accepting the reality of pain as a fundamental truth of being human (and why that doesn’t mean “it’s all in your head”) If you are someone (or loves someone) who suffers from chronic pain, this episode is for you. Haider talks with such gentleness about when your pain isn’t believed and how doctors can do a better job at treating their patients in pain.

What do we do when our families are sources of pain, confusion, or harm? How do we (or can we) outgrow our complicated childhoods when we no longer need the defenses we created?Today, I am speaking with Tara Westover. Tara earned her PhD in history from Cambridge, which is incredible on its own, but particularly when you remember that she had never stepped foot in a classroom until she was 17. She is the author of the bestselling memoir EDUCATED which describes growing up in a survivalist family and her costly pursuit of learning and unlearning. In this conversation, Kate and Tara discuss:  How to navigate the religious baggage of our childhoods Learning to hold people’s point of views but without letting go of your own Why people aren’t always doing their best (and why knowing that helps restore some dignity) How to approach people who have different worldviews than us  How to outgrow the defenses we develop as kids in painful or abusive homes CW: physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse***Find Kate on Insta

Our culture seems convinced that going off-script is unbecoming. Instead, we are rewarded for being buttoned up, perfect (or at least appearing to be), and never ever no-matter-what admit weakness. But… don’t we need each other, especially when facing the most difficult moments? Author and Death, Sex, and Money podcast host Anna Sale leans into every hard conversation no matter how difficult the topic. In this conversation, Kate and Anna discuss: How conversations might engender the intimacy we need to get by Fostering the right interpersonal and listening skills it takes to approach a difficult topic (especially when you’re feeling nervous) Best practices for responding to someone’s hard news How learning to listen might bridge differences of all kinds What do we lose when we don’t talk about hard things? And what might we gain if we do?***Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Be sure to subscribe to our weekly email for bits of wisdom, prayers, free downloads, and more.No Cure for Being Human (And O

We often have very romantic expectations about parenthood. Parenthood is about a mythical child who will be perfect in a way we haven’t quite put our finger on, and the journey to love them will teach us something reasonably easy about ourselves. But what if we are not the parents we thought we’d be? Or our kids are not the kids we thought we’d have.Writer Cammie McGovern’s oldest son, Ethan, was diagnosed with autism as a small child. Soon though, he was not just a toddler learning how to play or a child needing adjustments in the classroom. He is an adult who wants to participate in the world, and Cammie is still determined to learn what it means to be an advocate for him and others living with disabilities as they enter adulthood. In this conversation, Kate and Cammie discuss: The myths parents of children with autism might face How to build inclusive communities (and how both parties might benefit from them) How the role of every parent is to discover their kid for the mystery and wonder they are Why pare

Bestselling author Mitch Albom was at the height of his career when his favorite professor was dying. Mitch then spent his Tuesdays with Morrie—conversations that would change the trajectory of his life and career. Mitch continues to walk right up to the edge with the complicated questions around grief, loss, and hope in his books and charitable work. In this conversation, Kate and Mitch discuss: Why the loss of a child feels so different than the loss of someone farther along in years What questions we ask of God when we encounter death (and why we might not get the answers we hope for) How we might count our somethings (our people, our blessings) without imagining that God is teaching us “a lesson”  CW: ALS, death of a child with a brain tumor***Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Be sure to subscribe to our weekly email for bits of wisdom, prayers, free downloads, and more.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.In

Bestselling novelist Ann Patchett knows how to walk right up to the edge with people she loves. She is the friend who sits with you during chemo, or lets you spill your secrets in the car. She shares what powerful lessons she learned early on about how to approach suffering with humility, knowing you can rarely change a life, but you can be there to witness and be amazed.In this episode, Kate and Ann discuss: Why no one cares what you write about (and why that should give you freedom)  How to bear witness to someone’s life—even when you can’t change their circumstances Why the question of the fullness of a life isn’t how long you live but something else entirely CW: addiction, death of friends, cancer***Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Be sure to subscribe to our weekly email for bits of wisdom, prayers, free downloads, and more.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Introducing, GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for