Everything Happens With Kate Bowler

Welcome to SEASON TEN of the Everything Happens Podcast! I started this podcast as a way to create language and community around some of life's most painful moments. I was so overwhelmed by the question of how do we live in the after? After a diagnosis, after a death, after a divorce, after something that changes our lives or takes it apart.I had just been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer and I was only 35. I had a two year old at home with this giant lovey Disney eyes, and I had the job that I loved, and then suddenly, I had a picture of a future that was just never going to be. So I wanted to know, like, how do we do this? How do you find joy and hope and love even after life comes undone? And after years of treatment and years of uncertainty, I guess I realized somewhere along the way that this wasn't really a one and done kind of question. This is the sort of work that evolves over time as life continues to contract and expand and break our hearts and then put us back together all over again. And so

As we approach the New Year, we might need a minute to look backward. What even happened this year? Who was I? What went well? What didn't? Before we start making those New Year’s Resolutions, maybe we could have a second of honesty together.  This week is about celebrating the fact that alongside some of our painful, horrifying moments, we did experience moments of levity and joy and pure delight. In our personal lives, in our inner circle, during our 9-5s, and one real Zinger bonus round that really takes the cake.  In this bonus crossover episode, Kate and Kelly Corrigan discuss:  Their own personal happies, including the joy of birthdays as a reset button  How being reabsorbed into other people’s stories and problems makes us feel less alone  The satisfaction that comes from totally immersing yourself in learning, what Kelly refers to as intellectual humility ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Find Kelly Corrigan on Instagram or listen to

This time of year can be rough. Somehow we are supposed to wrap it up or feel complete, but, more often than not, we can look back at a year that, well, sucked. Rather than just showing you the shiny parts of life, today is your permission to Cheers to The Crappies. Kelly Corrigan (of Kelly Corrigan Wonders and Tell Me More) and I are exchanging our crappiest moments: in our personal lives, in our inner circle, during our 9-5, and one real Zinger round that takes the cake. In this bonus crossover episode, Kate and Kelly discuss:  Their own personal crappy lows of the year—like managing chronic pain, endless parental worries, and walking with a friend through divorce Kate’s strong policy against gratitude as a shellac to suffering Why talking about pain can be so tricky and sometimes it can’t be fixed by love alone This episode is for if you aren’t feel warm and fuzzy about this past year and you want a minute to say: Wow. That really didn’t go well. This isn’t getting better. I’m really disappointed or heartb

The indomitable Liz Gilbert (of EAT, PRAY, LOVE fame) joins Kate for a live conversation on the courage to create. Listen as Liz helps us expose our exhausting American need to make everything useful and lets us embrace beauty as a way of really living.In this episode, Kate and Liz discuss:  Why we stop ourselves from being creative  How we are all capable of making anything (badly! medium-well!)  But how our creativity is best if it is for no reason whatsoever (not for impact or legacy or money or acknowledgement)  How curiosity quiets fear and control CW: some spicy adult language***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold.In

Bryan Stevenson (founder of the Equal Justice Initiative) is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment, to challenging racial and economic injustice, and to protecting basic human rights for the most vulnerable among us.In this episode, Kate and Bryan discuss:  The hope that motivates Bryan in this slow, sometimes frustrating work of justice What it means to be a ‘stonecatcher’ (and why it serves both the one being condemned and the one doing the condemning) The power of forgiveness, maybe especially toward those who don’t deserve it CW: discussion of slavery, lynching, and other racist violence, death row***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Impe

We are going to practice the season of Advent together. Download a free Advent guide, here.At the end of today's episode, we asked you what your traditions were for remembering the people who we've lost. Share yours on my Instagram or Facebook account. Whether it is the 1st or 4th or 22nd year without someone you love, the holidays can be especially difficult. We need practical ways to bring their memory into our special days. Making family recipes. Playing their favorite song. Putting their ornaments on the tree. Traditions that keep their love alive year after year after year.What traditions does your family practice to honor and remember your loved one each year? Share yours on Instagram or Facebook.Thank you for sharing your heartbreak and hope with us all. Bless you as you navigate another year dear one. You aren't doing it alone.***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being H

Fred Penner is a Canadian sensation whose television show and hit songs like “The Cat Came Back” was part of so many of our childhoods. But what few of us knew was how much he understood the pain of growing up. He lost his alcoholic father and his 12-year-old sister in the same year. He turned to music. And his gentle wisdom and songs have invited us—children and adults alike—to stay curious and kind in a hard world.In this episode, Kate and Fred discuss:  Music as the language of the heart  How to speak to the heart of a kid Plus, we get to hear Fred sing some of his favorite songs I have so many memories singing along to Fred’s music as a kid and felt so lucky to get to speak to him today. CW: alcoholism, death of sibling***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some shor

Today, I have a very special BONUS episode for you all. Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, watched in awe as this simple phrase from Untamed – WE CAN DO HARD THINGS – the mantra that saved her life twenty years ago, became a worldwide rally cry.Life is freaking hard. We are all doing hard things every day – we love and lose; we forge and end friendships; battle addiction, illness, and loneliness; care for children and parents; struggle in our jobs, our marriages, our divorces; we try to set and hold boundaries – and we fight for equality, purpose, joy, and peace right in the midst of all the hard.On We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon, her wife Abby Wambach, and her sister Amanda Doyle, do the only thing that has ever made life easier: They talk honestly about the hard. They laugh and cry and help each other carry the hard so we can all live a little bit lighter and braver, free-er, less alone.And they asked me to join them for a conversation on We Can Do Hard Things about navigating illness and other hard things t

Julia Samuel is a psychologist in the UK who specializes in working with families who have experienced complicated stories of loss and love. So often we can feel overwhelmed by our histories – our family histories – and need a boost to confront dysfunction, speak the truth, and find trusted people to help us look back and look forward. In this episode, Kate and Julia discuss:  What to do when we’ve inherited the pain of our parents or grandparents and when our own problems might be the pain we pass down How we navigate generational divides especially around how we express our feelings How to not pass down inherited trauma by understanding our bigger family webs This conversation also is a much-needed reminder that you in all your actual problems and actual pain are far better than any idealized version of you. And maybe that is the exact honesty that might offer us and our families the freedom we long for.CW: mention of suicide, some spicy adult language :) ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click h

How do we gather in meaningful ways? After the pandemic took apart so many of our favorite ways of hanging out, we might be out of practice. Or too tired or overwhelmed. Priya Parker is an expert facilitator who encourages us all to practice being together for different reasons. And they don’t have to be nearly as fancy or predictable as we might think…In this episode, Kate and Priya discuss:  How do we show up for other people and ourselves in creative ways  How to know when a change might be needed in a regular gathering  Risk and the awkwardness of needing people ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold.We are going to pr

Jay and Katherine Wolf were 26 years old, newly married, and brand new parents when Katherine survived a brain stem stroke that upended their lives. That was fifteen years ago. Today, they continue to live with the enduringness of recovery, caregiving, and care-receiving, all while trying to maintain hope. Theirs is a story of commitment and love in the face of tremendous odds. In this episode, Kate, Jay, and Katherine discuss:  Why, in the face of impossible circumstances, sometimes the best we can do is to learn to love what must be done How to talk to your kids about the difficulties they might face The different experiences of being a caregiver and care-receiver over the long haul The story of hope and love that Jay and Katherine live into Why you are worth caring for—no matter how broken your body or mind or heart is I felt so grateful to speak with them fifteen years after the original crisis. This tender conversation offers a wide view of their story of hard-won hope.P.S. If you are someone for whom pe

Theologian Stanley Hauerwas has written some of the most influential books on religion in the 20th century. But behind closed doors, he was suffering more than most of us knew. Here, Kate and Stanley talk candidly about his rollercoaster highs and lows of being married to someone with severe mental illness. And why doesn’t God fix our pain? They have some spicy opinions about that. In this episode, Kate and Stanley discuss:  Why Christians are not exempt from difficult circumstances Why people need fewer explanations (and why Stanley is suspicious of anyone who demands them) Stanley’s advice for going through something difficult CW: bipolar, mental illness***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals f

Melissa Urban’s (CEO of The Whole30) experience of chronic illness forced her to accept her body’s limitations. You are going to love her practical advice for setting healthy boundaries as a way to protect our relationships, manage our limited capacity (especially for those of us navigating chronic pain or illness or caregiving), and remind ourselves of our inherent worth (regardless of how much you can do).In this episode, Kate and Melissa discuss:  How boundaries help us better live inside our limitations The signs that a better boundary is needed  How to manage the awkwardness of saying no  How the Spoon Theory helps us understand limited capacity CW: sexual abuse, addiction***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUG

Writer Jeff Chu was raised in a devout Chinese Baptist community, yet struggled to reconcile being gay with the conservative faith of his family. And the feeling of not-quite-belonging gave his life a strong purpose. He became a journalist and a pastor determined to make communities a place where you don’t actually have to “fit in” to belong.  In this episode, Kate and Jeff discuss:  Navigating certainty and doubt when ambiguity is so uncomfortable Why great resumes sometimes mask lives of pain How Jeff has discovered grace for himself and his family (and others who many have different versions of faithfulness) ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever

Writer Mary Laura Philpott had all the regular kind of parental worries until her teenage son had his first seizure. She had to learn to balance her fear alongside her love all the while recognizing that everyone has something they are dealing with.  In this episode, Kate and Mary Laura discuss:  Why love sometimes makes us afraid for all we have to lose Why remembering that “everyone has something” can make us feel less alone (and more likely to bring snacks) Why worry isn’t the mental work we think it is CW: epilepsy***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is available wherever books are sold and now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold. To learn more about listener data and o

Thomas Lynch is an essayist, poet, and funeral director in Milford, Michigan, where he has served since 1974 when he took over the trade from his father. Thomas speaks honestly about life and death and mortality from what he’s learned, standing so close to the edge. In this episode, Kate and Thomas discuss:  What elements make up a good funeral How the habits of love are hard to break, no matter how old the person died who you grieve How those we grieve know our hearts and our love more fully I don’t know quite how to express this, but holy crap. This is one of the best conversations I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to hear what you think.CW: suicide, death***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold and now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Chec

Arthur Brooks was a professional musician and spent his twenties touring all over the world. Until one day, he stopped being able to hit the notes. He had to reinvent himself entirely, and wonder… what does happiness look like after I lose the career I had worked so hard for? Now, Arthur writes about high achievers and how they might find meaning and purpose as they experience decline in their bodies or minds or in careers through his bestselling book, Strength to Strength. In this episode, Kate and Arthur discuss:  What he calls “The Strivers Curse” and why high achievers may not feel as satisfied by life as they age What is more important than success and amassing wealth (spoiler alert: it has to do with love) Why happiness is something we should take seriously (but why it is not as simple as ‘CHOOSE HAPPINESS’) Not everyone in this community is #winning at life. For those of us who have been forced off the productivity train, fallen down the success ladder, and now find ourselves wondering if we could be m

Many of us miss the churches of our childhood and are trying to figure out what pieces of our faith to keep and which to leave behind. My guest today knows that better than anyone. Randall Balmer is a historian of American religion at Dartmouth College, THE expert of American evangelicalism, and a pastor’s kid (PK!) of a fundamentalist preacher.  In this conversation, Kate and Randy talk about:  How to reconcile the evangelism of today with its progressive past The cost of a more manufactured worship experience Why they both value those stray moments of faith What (if any) hope is there for evangelicalism  Maintaining faith when you’ve been hurt by the church Kate ends with a blessing for when faith sometimes breaks your heart.***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Looking for some s

Ibram Kendi and Kate Bowler have more in common than they would have liked. Historians and professors. Parents of young kids. Diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer at age 35. No history of the disease in their families. In this conversation, Dr. Ibram Kendi (who Time magazine’s called one of the most influential people of 2020) and Kate discuss:  How a diagnosis like the one they share creates a sense of urgency in their work How to address the policies behind health care disparities Why addressing racism with your kids is an act of courageous living The importance of recognizing our own fragility Learning to celebrate scars as evidence of life CW: colon cancer ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to our weekly email for blessings.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available wherever books are sold. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40i

I'm Kate Bowler and I am so excited to be back for another season of EVERYTHING HAPPENS. A podcast where we don't have to pretend to explain away our suffering. If your life is not going the way you hoped, I'm someone you do not have to pretend around.About seven years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer at age 35. And I have ruined small talk ever since. Thanks to the wonders of immunotherapy, I'm no longer in that sort of endless danger zone of cancer, but it means that I live with my body, often breaking as a kind of chronic condition. And I imagine that's where a lot of us find ourselves one way or another with lives that keep sometimes breaking.So often people want us to say the easy thing like something terrible happens and we're supposed to say "everything happens for a reason." Or "it made me who I am today." We find ourselves surrounded by a culture who loves us for our positive mindset or our willingness to buy essential oils from our cousin named Jennifer. But on this podcast, we're goi