Connexions Classroom

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt During the Christmas season, so many of us reunite with family, and we experience the relationship dynamics at work in our families (the sweet and the bitter!). In this episode, Jodi talks about the relationship dynamics within families of origin (childhood). Unless we consciously choose to change them, our childhood family dynamics affect us throughout our lives (in supportive and/or destructive manners) and carry over from childhood into our adult relationships. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt What is honesty? How truthful and honest are you with yourself? How honest are you about the way you perceive things? Do you question the way that you conceptualize and speak? In this episode Jodi discusses the definition and importance of emotional honesty—honesty and responsibility around your internal (emotional) world. Emotional honesty means knowing about all of my feelings and emotions, triggers and responses, perceptions, and so forth. I am responsible to learn about myself and manage myself in a way that is truthful. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt As human beings, we are endowed with incredible power to choose. Outcomes always follow our choices, whether or not we are aware of the choices we are making. As you and I become conscious of our choices, we are enabled to choose powerful and constructive outcomes. Our choices have emotional outcomes, physiological outcomes, and tangible / external outcomes. Our thoughts and perceptions have outcomes. We can choose to “hold” or perceive our experiences any way we choose. We can be unconscious about our choice of perceptions and perceive life as a victim, or we can be conscious and deliberate and choose to perceive our experiences in Truth. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt This weekend we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. It’s a time to count our blessings and practice being grateful for all we’ve been given. But being grateful doesn’t mean losing self. Rather, it means remaining in your integrity (being emotionally honest) and giving to self and others without expectations or “strings attached.” It sounds paradoxical, yet the only way to be truly grateful towards other people is to be grateful and appreciative towards yourself. This practice of self-care means setting boundaries for myself, which enables you to truly connect with self, others and God or a Higher Power. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Every person on the planet has used manipulation strategies to obtain a desired outcome. Most often, we manipulate unconsciously or without awareness. Many of us manipulate occasionally, and some of us “live” in a state of manipulation and use its strategies constantly. In this episode, Jodi introduces several types or styles of manipulation and explains how to recognize them. The skill of recognizing manipulation in yourself and in your relationships is an invaluable tool to protect yourself and your relationships, and to engage the principles of honesty, responsibility and humility in all aspects of your life.Manipulation is something we ALL use, and we all need to become awake to, in order to protect ourselves and our loved ones. In this episode, Jodi explains how to recognize manipulators (those who live a lifestyle of manipulation, as opposed to occasionally manipulating). Manipulators groom victims using several strategies, including indulging the person, using fear or inti

In this episode, Jodi discusses the strong desire we all have as humans to control situations, outcomes and emotions, and how our controlling behaviors are set-ups to experience The Voice (shame) and denial. The Truth is, we live out of control, and we cannot control our environment. Therefore, in order to attempt to control, we must use denial strategies. In this episode, Jodi discusses some of the most common denial strategies: Helpless / Hopeless Uniqueness / Different Rationalizing Minimizing Justifying Compartmentalizing More denial strategies to come in next week’s episode.The discussion is on the definition of denial, why we all use denial, and how we often use denial strategies without realizing we are doing so. At its core, our desire to deny reality is simply our difficulty and/or unwillingness to feel and manage pain and discomfort of any type. As humans, we have a difficult time managing painful experiences. Towards the end of this episode, Jodi give examples and definitio

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Recovery is not the same as sobriety. Sobriety means choosing not to engage in a particular behavior or substance (our drug of choice). On the other hand, recovery refers to an entire lifestyle of humility, honesty and responsibility, where we learn to love, honor and respect self and others. Recovery addresses the underlying emotional and spiritual reasons we engage in the behaviors or substances. Recovery allows us to no longer have the “need” to alter our emotional experiences — it allows us to experience our emotional realities in the Truth, and move through them without becoming shamed or “stuck.”Why do we become addicted to people, activities, substances, etc.? What causes addiction? And how do we heal from them? This week’s episode is about several principles of addiction and recovery, including: Bottom lines Slips Relapse White-knuckling Withdrawal symptoms Powerlessness Cross-addiction Surrender & thinking in honesty In order to recove

The Voice (shame) is at the root of all addictions. When any of us become addicted to food, money, sex, gambling, exercise, anger or other attitudes, hoarding, drugs, or anything else, the addiction is not the problem. The addiction is a symptom. The reason we become addicted to such a variety of activities, substances and thinking patterns is that we are using these things ("externals") to medicate the pain we feel because we believe The Voice (shame) and thus we emotionally disconnect. As we learn to reframe our experiences and recognize the Truth about our choices, thoughts and perceptions, we no longer have a "need" for addiction. We must learn to choose to feel and experience our true emotions (even if uncomfortable) which come with every experience, without attempting to change, alter or manipulate our reality. When we exercise the power of choice within us to become emotionally honest, personally responsible and humble individuals, we live in integrity and become individuals of character. This is the l

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Our perceptions have monumental power in our lives. What we perceive becomes reality to us. How we perceive our experiences in life determines our thoughts, emotions and attitudes around every experience. Our perceptions create our motives and agendas, and set us up to listen to The Voice (go into shame/Faulty Core Beliefs), or go into Truth. Therefore, the skill of being aware of what we think, how we feel, and why we perceive as we do, will empower us to understand ourselves, hold our emotions in honesty and responsibility, learn the lessons our traumatic experiences are trying to teach us, and empathize and feel compassion for others. When we are aware and conscious, then we can choose with power. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Emotional and spiritual safety are often overlooked, because they are not tangible and concrete, however, they are vital to all healthy relationships. How safe are you, emotionally and spiritually? This episode begins with an invitation to self-assess by answering several questions. Emotionally healthy relationships embody certain characteristics, such as empathy, self-respect, freedom to be self, trust and safety. Emotional safety is forged as we are willing to become emotionally mature by taking feedback, taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and choices, and being impeccably honest. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Why is pornography such a rampant problem in today’s world? Why are so many people being “sucked in” to pornography, sexual and other addictions? Lust and disconnection are the culprits, and in our society, there are myriad opportunities and ways to disconnect from ourselves and others, and access lustful thinking. Messages bombard us from television, movies, the Internet, advertisements, music, video games, and so forth. Silent assumptions about roles, responsibilities, love, lust and other areas of life can alter our thinking without our knowledge. In this podcast, which contains information from the upcoming “Love vs. Lust” workbook and videos, Jodi covers a lot of ground, discussing ways lust and disconnection can creep into our lives, and how we can change our thinking, be on guard and protect ourselves and our families against encroaching disconnection. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt We all desire and need connection, yet many of us have never been taught the skill-set to connect in our relationships. It does not “just happen” as we might think. When bonding (including honesty, compassion, responsibility, validation, vulnerability, safety and humility) is present in any relationship, connection is the outcome, with anyone and every time. When we are honest and responsible, we embody and claim our roles as men and women, and we are able to create connection and experience the fulness of our sexual and spiritual power. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There are many types of connection which we share with one another, including spiritual, emotional, intellectual, sensual, physical and sexual. So often, so many of us are deceived to believe that "connection" requires sexual connection. This is not the case. Sexual connection is only one type of connection, and unless the other types of connection are present, sexual acts will not lead to connection at all. There is great confusion surrounding these topics of what love, sexuality and connection are. Jodi breaks down these topics and explains them clearly, along with some real-world examples of how we are taught very confusing messages by our culture. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Many of us struggle to forgive ourselves, even after we "clean up" or make right our mistakes with all others who have been affected. We may feel not only that we did wrong, but that we are bad. This The Voice (shame) precludes us from feeling guilt, offering forgiveness and experiencing a change of heart. Choosing guilt, repentance and forgiveness rather than The Voice (shame) will alleviate and protect you from suffering. Forgiving self is very challenging. In this podcast, Jodi walks through the process of recognizing, forgiving self and moving on. This process allows us to experience a change of heart, which is permanent change. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt The word “repentance” has triggering or religious associations for many people. I’d like to use the word not in a religious way, but instead to mean a complete, thorough process of change. When the process of repentance is engaged rigorously and completely, you change—your shame dissipates, your responsibility increases, your guilt is cared for, and your character is modified for the good. There is a specific, 10-step process we must all engage in order to engage the power of repentance and reconnect with self, others and God. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week, I expand on the idea of The Voice (shame) and introduce the idea of Faulty Core Beliefs -- a super important topic. When we feel shame and don't take responsibility (or don't know how) to move out of it, we "swallow" impressions that we are different from others, bad, unlovable, unworthy, etc. Our brains try to make sense of why we feel this way, and the results are beliefs about our core person that are distorted, self-aggressive, and flat wrong. As you can probably imagine, these beliefs are quite destructive. So how do we deal with them? That's the topic for this week. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week, I discuss the often-difficult emotion of anger. It can be difficult to manage, but anger is not bad. Emotions aren't "good" or "bad." They simply give us information, and we get to learn to respond to our emotions appropriately. How do we do that? I talk with a caller about anger and its relationships to shame and resentments. I also talk about how our expectations lead to resentments, and how we can choose to manage them. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Most of the time, we lump shame and guilt into a general idea of "feeling bad about self." In fact, shame and guilt are more opposite than they are similar. In this episode, I talk with two callers about how the two are different, and why shame (The Voice) is so destructive. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt Very often, the words “sobriety” and “recovery” are used interchangeably, yet they are vastly different. In this episode, Jodi explains in detail the differentiation between these two key terms. Sobriety is the illusion of controlling the body by not partaking of one’s Drug of Choice. Recovery, on the other hand, is a complete change of character, incorporating impeccable emotional honesty, rigorous personal responsibility, and humility. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hosted by Jodi Hildebrandt We always have choice, and with the power of our choice, we can choose humility or pride. Humility opens us to Truth and frees us from illusions—illusions of hatred & bigotry. Living in humility creates an experience of freedom from the illusion of being in control of your external world. Pride is a cover-up for The Voice (shame), and comes from the same source. Humility allows us to feel gratitude, pure love, wisdom, and the ability to empathize with and love others unconditionally—without being judgmental of behavior, but rather recognizing the power of peoples’ spirits. (Note: this does not mean condoning inappropriate behavior. It does mean having compassion for others). Humility is the ability to keep commitments, grow, change, mature and live in gratitude and faith. The choice to engage humility or pride is a choice regarding how we will act, how we will think, how we will perceive and how we will feel. We each have the power to choose humility and