Clarity On Fire

As many of you know, Rachel and I went on a 10-day Euro-trip this past August, and it was absolutely amazing. We explored ancient castles, ate incredible food, and went on so many walking tours that I’m now in need of new sneakers (including a Harry-Potter-themed tour of Edinburgh because, obviously). Traveling back home, though, was … less than amazing. After waking up before 6am and sitting through an 8-hour flight, we got in the longest customs line I’ve ever seen. For nearly 3 hours, I lugged my heavy bags through endless weaving lines of people, feeling like I might get stuck in that warehouse-sized, fluorescent-lit beige room for the rest of my days. Not anticipating this long of a wait, I hadn’t eaten much on the plane or stopped for a bathroom break (despite the several cups of orange juice I’d accepted from the flight attendant), so I was ill prepared for the marathon I’d unwillingly joined. Plus, because of the time difference, my body thought it was 10pm, even though it was only 5pm back in the Sta

Terece Hahn had it all — the job she’d always dreamed of, a 6-figure income, a loving husband, the ability to travel and buy a home and do all the things she loved. And yet, she was miserable. Her job was making her burnt out, anxious, depressed, and totally unsure of herself. Her confidence took a nosedive, and she started questioning everything in her life. So what do you do when your dream job turns into a nightmare? Terece used that experience as a catalyst to go on a deep inner journey of figuring out who she is, what really matters to her, and what she wants most out of life. And now, two years later, she feels like a completely different — and much happier — person. She’s sharing her journey with us in this week’s interview with a normal person. Listen in to hear us talk about: Her story about feeling lost and directionless after leaving school and getting a “real job.” How she built back up her confidence after it hit an all-time low. The huge perspective shift that helped her quiet her inner critic

There was a time when Kristen and I thought we wanted to be corporate coaches.

In a way, this made perfect sense. Both of us had intimate experience with the mind-numbing bureaucracy of corporate America. We knew what the cube-people were secretly feeling — trapped, suffocated, bored, purposeless — because we had so recently been cube-people.

 We had a vision of being “corporate ninjas” … we’d go in to stuffy offices and quietly, stealthily, and methodically shift entire cultures. We’d inspire people; we’d make it so that work was actually invigorating, purposeful, and fun. Leadership would be left a bit dazed and blinking by the overnight change, but they’d get used to a new and improved way of operating.

 This is a story about how none of that happened, and how I got publicly insulted to boot. In this week’s blog, I’m sharing something I originally wrote 3 years ago, and exploring why getting painfully rejected can be the best thing that ever happened to you. ARE YOU A TRAPPED CUBE-PERSON? If you were no

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Cath, who wants some advice about how to let things unfold naturally when dating someone new, instead of forcing and pushing. How do you not give in to the need for instant answers? Jess, a Side Hustler in her twenties who lives with her parents and works as a freelancer. Should she get a part-time job to satisfy her parents, even though that would take time away from pursuing her passions? Heather, who’s about to turn 30 and is struggling with the fact that all of her friends are married with kids. What do you do when you can’t help but ask, “Why not me?” We got into a LOT of good stuff in this one, including our personal feelings about being unmarried at 30, too. After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know if o

For most of my life, I suffered from pretty extreme FOMO (fear of missing out). My parents will tell you that up until the time I was 7 or 8, I would never admit to being tired — and not just out of normal childlike stubbornness, but because I was terrified that if I took a nap or went to bed early, I’d miss out on something fun. The FOMO didn’t go away as I got older; it just evolved to focus more on my friendships and school. I hated taking a sick day from school because I was afraid I’d miss out on some inside joke with my friends or miss a crucial lesson in one of my classes and fall behind. I said “yes” to pretty much every social invitation I got while I was in school and through most of college, even though I’m more of an introvert and it often totally exhausted me. Once I got out of school and into the “real world,” my FOMO evolved again, this time into anxiety around whether I was in the right career. Since I had no direction for a while and a serious “grass-is-greener” complex, I was always explorin

A few years ago Emily Liou started to question her career in recruiting. Sure, she helped people get hired, but for every person she helped, there were so many more she had to reject. And the rejections were wearing on her. That’s when Emily decided to quit her job, become a certified coach (she went to the same program as us!), and ended up starting her own business; one where she could leverage her experience as a recruiter and her knowledge as a coach to help people navigate both the deep, internal world of personal growth and the external challenges of finding a job. We came to this conversation with SO many questions and common issues (ones we hear from our clients and podcast listeners all the time!) to bounce off of Emily, and she was a complete treasure trove of insight. We talked about: What to do if you aren’t sure you have enough experience to apply for a job How to make a radical career shift, especially when you only have experience in one thing Why “hard skills” aren’t necessarily more importan

I recently passed an anniversary of sorts. It’s been six years since I quit my first job (not to be confused with the second or third jobs I also quit, which happened shortly thereafter). It’s also been six years since Kristen and I decided to start a business and six years since I enrolled in a certified coach training program. I know anniversaries are supposed to be celebrated, or at least fondly acknowledged, but all I’m thinking about right now is the two weeks I spent in between quitting my first job and starting the next gig (as a part-time nanny to two-year-old twins). Up until the day I walked out (of that unfulfilling, mind-numbing corporate existence), I was so excited for everything I was going to do before my new job started. I was going to go to yoga, bike around town, cook really healthy meals, meditate every night, and basically live the life I’d always imagined. And then I spent two weeks on the couch. In this week’s blog I’m revisiting something I originally published 3 years ago – the story

Hello from the other side … of 30. It’s been a month since I left my 20s, and I’m (Rachel) honestly still processing this milestone. I didn’t expect it to bring up so much grief – anger, frustration, sadness, and waves of anxiety and depression. And while I’ve been riding those waves, it’s become obvious that a lot of people around me are also battling that same current, just for different reasons. So, this mutual experience got me thinking about big life transitions. What do they have in common? How do we ride them out? Why are they so emotional? In this month’s Side Chat we’re talking about: What counts as a transition (that might not have occurred to you) Why all transitions always come with grief, even when they’re happy The true purpose of grief, and how to let yourself feel the deep emotions of a transition phase, without bottling them up Why you don’t need to try to understand your feelings about the transition you’re in The difference between grief and depression How can you use the often chaotic emo

My client Dawn was in a major internal tug-of-war. Her boss had just announced he was leaving, which meant his job was opening up. As soon as the job was posted, several of Dawn’s coworkers forwarded her the job listing with notes like, “You would be perfect for this,” and “This has your name all over it.” Dawn was flattered, but torn. She’d never considered applying for her boss’ job, and she wasn’t totally sure she wanted it. It would mean a lot more responsibility, as well as becoming a manager, all of which made her extremely uncomfortable. On the other hand, everyone kept telling her it would be such a great growth opportunity, and it would be a step up the ladder in her career, not to mention a bigger paycheck. It seemed like the logical next step. She asked me, “How do I know if this is worth stepping out of my comfort zone?” As someone who loves being in my comfort zone (whatever the opposite of an adrenaline junkie is … that’s me), but also knows that I can’t stay there forever if I want to keep lear

Four years ago Teanca Shepherd was burnt out and craving a change. So she picked up and moved about as far away from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as you can get—all the way to Japan. She taught English in Japan for two years, but making a dramatic change hadn’t suddenly solved all of her problems. She was still unsure of what she really wanted out of life, and the clock was ticking loudly on her remaining time overseas. It was at this point that Teanca discovered The Passion Profile Quiz and reached out to us. After coaching with me (Rachel) for a couple months, she felt clear about what she wanted, but her dream job hadn’t instantly landed in her lap … and it didn’t, for another two years. When Teanca emailed me to tell me that she had FINALLY found her dream job, she said that she was SO glad that she waited, even though it had taken so much longer than she had hoped. For that reason alone, I HAD to have Teanca on the podcast. We all (myself included) need to know—how do you weather rejection, uncertainty, fear

We recently got a question that was intended for our monthly Dear Krachel segment, but it’s a subject that I’ve been considering writing about for a long time, so I decided to tackle it at length in a blog, instead! Here’s what Mary wrote: “Hi Rachel!

 You had mentioned on a recent podcast that you haven’t had an alcoholic beverage in 3 years. I was wondering if you wanted to share what brought you to this life change. My husband has been sober for over a year and a half and I went through the rocky journey of cutting back/abstinence. I have now participated in “dryuary” (no drinking in January), took a break in April and am now completing a 90-day break. This is huge for me and challenging at times. Overall I feel better for it. I got excited when you shared you don’t drink and wanted to know your story since I feel this lifestyle is very connected to socializing, productivity, and general outlook on life.

 I’m not saying I’m never going to drink again, but would love your input on the subject since it’s s

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Sera, who is anxiety-ridden and depressed at her day job, and knows she wants to take a creative risk and publish her written work, but is paralyzed by fear at every turn—of failure, embarrassment, and success. How can she get out of her own way? Bianca, who recently quit a toxic job without anything lined up. All she wants to do is rest, but she can’t afford not to work. How does she revamp her energy after being through hell and back during her last job? Laura, who wants to try new things but holds herself back by saying “not yet.” On the other hand, she knows a lot of people who jump at EVERY idea, and they don’t seem any better off. So, how can we take action while avoiding either extreme (not enough, or too much)? Amanda,

I tend to get wrapped up in my own thoughts. A lot. As in, I’ve gone on solo road trips and not even turned the radio on for hours. I’m very comfortable with silence. Because of this, I’ve heard the same kinds of comments from people close to me for my whole life: “You got really quiet all of a sudden. What’s going on? Or, “You have to tell me how you’re feeling — I can’t read your mind!” Or, usually in an argument, “Are you even hearing me? Say something already!” The strange thing is, anyone who knows me well will tell you that I can be chatty. I used to bring report cards home from school with all A’s and a little X-mark that said, “Talks to her friends too much in class.” And if you’ve ever listened to our podcast, I think it’s pretty clear that talking — sometimes ad nauseum — about something I care deeply about is certainly not an issue of mine! So what’s going on? Why is it that I can be so chatty sometimes, and so quiet and pensive other times? It took me a long time to figure this out (and a lot of s

Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature—it’s time for another book club episode of the podcast! Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can’t get enough of. This time we decided to have a conversation about one of the best-selling books of all time (and for good reason), The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. We each pulled a few of our favorite parts to talk about, including: Why realizing your destiny is your ONLY obligation in life (and why you don’t have to know what it is to get started) Proof that the universe is conspiring to help you get what you want How you can ask for and receive signs that you’re on the right path Why the fear of suffering is always way worse than the actual struggle that you’ll go through How to let yourself fail and be bad at things, without crumbling Why you should think twice before taking anyone else’s opinion about what to do with your life seriously Why it sometimes feel like you’re being tested

I’m writing about something today that’s going to seem really obvious in hindsight, but that never actually occurred to me for most of my life. I used to (still do, but I’m working on it!) go down these absolute spirals of existential angst. I wasn’t always sure what triggered them. All I knew was that I’d start the day out feeling ticked off or moody, and by the end of the day I’d be in a heap of tears or pulling my hair out while dramatically declaring, “What’s the point!?” And by “the point,” I generally meant of anything. Having a business. Trying to be nice to other humans. Dating. Attempting to be healthy. I’ve written before about the futility of questioning how your life is going when you’re in a crap mood. And I stand by that. But what if you could prevent the crap mood from happening in the first place? (Sometimes, at least. 100% prevention of crap moods is not only unrealistic, it’s inhuman.) And what if what triggers a lot of our daily angst is actually the most basic, obvious stuff that we’re tak

Are you as fascinated by assessments and quizzes as we are? (I mean, we created a quiz, so obviously we love to nerd out on this stuff!). It makes sense that most of us are so attracted to personality tests — there’s something innately satisfying and powerful about feeling understood and not alone. When you see a result you resonate with, it immediately makes you feel seen and heard, which is something every human craves. So, in the name of understanding ourselves better and using that knowledge to pursue a life that feels good, we sat down with Leslie McDaniel, a fellow certified coach and expert on one of the most popular assessments ever: The Myers Briggs Type Indicator, or MBTI. (If you’ve never heard of the MBTI, or don’t know your type, that’s just fine! You’ll likely walk away from this episode with a clear idea of your results, without having taken the assessment yet.) We got into … How the MBTI came to be (it was created by two women in the 1940s!) What the results measure, and how to understand the

I vividly remember opening the front door of my old office building and feeling a wave of dread and exhaustion instantly wash over me. No matter how much sleep I got the night before or what upbeat music I listened to in the car trying to start the day more positively … the moment I stepped into that building, my energy was sapped away. I felt like a balloon with a slow leak, and by the end of the day, I always ended up completely deflated. I’d look around that office to see everyone hunched over their keyboard, guzzling coffee to keep their eyes open, hardly noticing when someone passed by their cubicle. I was surrounded by people, but it felt like none of us were really, truly “there.” The air was stale, and the walls were grey. It felt like a building full of people who had mostly given up. The energy of that office was so heavy that I couldn’t help but feel the physical effects of sitting in that space every day, and it weighed on me. It was destructive and unrelenting. In this week’s blog, I’m sharing ho

A while back, I happened upon a quote as I was scrolling through Instagram that felt like a benevolent smack in the face (if there is such a thing): “The true joy of life is being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” –George Bernard Shaw I mean, DAMN. That’s some deep wisdom and a sick burn rolled into one! I immediately took a screenshot and told Kristen that we MUST talk about this quote on the podcast. So, on this brand-new side chat, we’re breaking down this mic-drop moment by George Bernand Shaw and getting into…
 Why your purpose doesn’t need to be impressive or seem purposeful to anyone else. How you can be fulfilled without needing to feel like the most significant person in the room. Why it’s critical for you to question the common definition of co

Allow me to assure you: I love the world we live in. As screwed up as it can be, and as much work as it clearly needs (I’m lookin’ at you, American politics), I wouldn’t trade being alive in the 21st century for any other time. (You could tempt me with a time-traveling foray to ancient Rome, though. #historydork) The western world is decidedly imperfect, but it’s hard to argue with equal rights and the opportunity to decide for myself what “freedom” means. I also love how much I, and my fellow women, are benefitting from the really loud — and rightfully so — ongoing dialogue about equality, particularly when it comes to our pay. Feminism (which is really not a complicated concept) has been made normal, and at this point it’s pretty damn sketchy if you aren’t on board. Are you sensing a “but” coming? I’m a coach who spends most of her time helping people — the majority of them women — figure out what their passion is and how to live it through their career. And as a female entrepreneur, I’m in circles with a l

So, I (Rachel) am turning 30 in just a few days. And in true nerd fashion, I wanted to celebrate by having a deep conversation. It’s a party in Ravenclaw tower, ya’ll. BYOB. Bring your own butterbeer. ;) I insisted on being the “normal person” for this month’s interview, because I’m always the expert (well, at least when you hear me on the podcast ... not so sure about the rest of the time!). Kristen came up with a bunch of questions that I didn’t get to prepare for, so enjoy my spur-of-the-moment musings about … How I feel about turning 30. (SO many mixed feelings!) The best and worst things that happened in my 20s (I delve into the worst year of my life … it was a DOOZY). What I used to believe, and why I no longer believe it. Why I couldn’t take a deep breath for most of my 20s, and how I recovered from crippling anxiety. My best wisdom for anyone still in their 20s and looking to make the most of it (in true fashion, my advice is so NOT age-specific). PLUS, she subjected me to a SERIOUSLY DIFFICULT light