Hold Up

Today we have a real treat. A real special treat. Another John Carpenter classic from 1988, They Live. They Live tells the story of a guy who overreacts when he discovers that aliens are living among us and then proceeds to go on a killing spree trying to expose their evil Capitalism. This gem stars Rowdy Roddy Piper, Keith David, and Meg Foster and made a humble $13 million from the $3 million budget. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, debate subtlety and alien genitals as we discuss if They Live made us wish for death. 

Today we’re gonna stagger back to 1981 for Steven Gordon’s sole directorial project, Arthur. Featuring the story of a spoiled, immature, heir whose fortune is contingent on an arranged marriage but this becomes a problem as Arthur finds love and must decide between his family and fortune, or true love. Starring Dudley Moore, Liza Minnelli, and John Gielgud, who won an Oscar for this role,  Arthur made $95 million from a $7 million budget and was cemented as a comedy classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, fantasize about wealth and dialysis as we try to decide if this one is a degenerate drunk or a functional alcoholic. 

In 1971, Stanley Kubrick brought us the dystopian futuristic flick, A Clockwork Orange.

In 2004 Charlie Kaufman wrote and Michael Gondry directed a new spin on the love story with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Telling the story of Joel, who after learning his ex-girlfriend Clementine erased him from her mind, goes to do the same. Joel changes his mind as he experiences the memories leaving, realizing he will lose the good with the bad. He and Clementine must hide in Joel’s memories as they elude the less-than-professional memory-erasing team back in the real world. But can their love survive? This flick stars Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, and Tom Wilkinson, won the Oscar for best original screenplay, and made back a humble $74 million from the $20 million budget. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate soulmates and ethics as we try to see if this love story is worth remembering, or if it is better wiped from our noggins.

In 1992 we got into feet with Phil Alden Robinson’s heist comedy, Sneakers. When it’s discovered that a security specialist is a fugitive on the run, his team helps him perform a heist for the NSA that can clear his name for good. But when it’s discovered that things are not as they seem, the team must scramble to make things right and keep the world a little safer. Starring Robert Redford, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley, Mary McDonnell, River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier, and David Strathairn, this flick did not lack talent and brought in a respectable $105 million from the $23 million budget. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, discuss government security shortcomings and the value of a phone number as we try to see if Sneakers kicks ass or has a weak sole.  

It's not every day that you see a man with a claw for a hand win a multi-million dollar court case in less than a day, but that is what we get in 1997's Liar Liar. Jim Carrey stars as Fletcher Reede, a pathological liar who will do anything to make partner at his law firm, including alienating his ex-wife and son, played by Maura Tierney and Justin Cooper. When serial cheater and gold-digger Samantha Cole (Jennifer Tilly) is looking for a way to bleed her ex-husband dry, Fletcher is keen to embellish on the truth. But after his son makes a birthday wish that his dad cannot tell a lie for 24 hours, Fletcher struggles to win the case and come to grips with his recent life decisions. Made for $45M, Liar Liar raked in $300M in the box office and received critical praise as well. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent discuss weaponizing child custody and racing 747s with mobile stairways as we see if we are lying when we say this movie is a disappointment, or if the truth will set us free.

In 2003 we took to the seas of the early Napoleonic wars with Peter Weir’s Naval War Epic, Master and Commander. M&C tells the story of Captain Jack Aubrey and the HMS Surprise, which goes from being the hunter to being hunted, and then to hunting once again the powerful heavy frigate privateer of the French, the Acheron. Russell Crowe stars as Captain Aubrey alongside Paul Bettany as Dr. Maturin, both of whom must manage adversity, cursed seamen, and each other while trying to win despite being outgunned. Master and Commander made a modest return of $211 million from the $150 million budget but garnered 10 Oscar nods and ample critical acclaim. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate naval frottage and cursed seamen as we decide if this one is a Master or a NUB.

Today we are travelling back to ’97 to Tarantino’s 3rd directorial effort, Jackie Brown. Jackie Brown is the lead character in this heist film which tells the story of how she gets stuck in between a rock and a hard place when she is busted smuggling drugs and money from Mexico and must decide between helping the cops or helping her cold blooded employer, Ordell. Featuring the awesome cast of Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton, and Robert De Niro, this flick made $74 million from a $12 million budget and was Tarantino’s follow up to his ’94 masterpiece, Pulp Fiction. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss awkward kitchen sex and odd chin beards as we figure out if Jackie Brown is a cherry on top, or if it is doomed to be gunned down in a mall parking lot.

Today we go to the rotten near future as we watch Alfonso Cuarón’s 2006 dystopian sci-fi action film, Children of Men. Children of Men brings us into the near future of 2027 where the human race faces extinction as the entire globe has destabilized and infertility has prevented any new births for 18 years. Now a man finds hope as he becomes responsible for the future of the species when a young pregnant woman becomes his responsibility and he must find their path to humanity’s last remaining hope, the Human Project. Starring Clive Owen, Clare-Hope Ashitey, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine, and Chiwetel Ejiofor, this flick had lots going for it and, despite its box office failure, was a critical hit. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the obvious benefits of sterility as we see if Cuarón’s baby gives us hope or shits itself.

Happy New Year! To celebrate we’re going back to the distant dystopian past of January 2021 with Robert Longo’s cyberpunk action flick, Johnny Mnemonic. Keanu Reeves stars, alongside Dina Meyer, Dolph Lundgren, Ice-T, and Takeshi Kitano, as just Johnny, a neural courier, who takes a dangerous job so he can afford to have his implant removed. However, the job becomes even riskier when his health begins to fail and he becomes pursued by the Yakuza and Pharmakom’s security. Jonny Brain USB was made for $26 million and managed to double that in box office earnings but was quickly forgotten by almost everyone. But, not us! So, does this one hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, debate how much water can fit in a pail and dolphin rights as we try to see if this one ever held up?

In the spirit of the season, we are doing Bob Clark’s A Christmas Story. An absolute classic of the season, this flick shows us a series of Christmas vignettes threaded together with a boy's wish for a bb gun despite everyone telling him he’ll shoot his eye out. Starring Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, and Peter Billingsley, this movie made $70 million from a $3 million budget and became an instant classic and a favourite to watch during the holidays. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the artistry of limb illumination as we try to figure out if this one is naughty or nice.

We find ourselves in the Christmas spirit this week with Richard Donner’s modern…ish retelling of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Scrooged stars Bill Murray as Frank Cross, in the Scrooge role, joined by Karen Allen, John Forsythe, Bobcat Goldthwait, Robert Mitchum, Alfre Woodard, Carol Kane, and many other familiar faces. Made for $32 million Scrooged made $100 million at the box office and became a Christmas classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, debate the best way to secure antlers to a mouse and how to wrap 4 pounds of veal as we do our best to determine if this one belongs in the past, present, or future of holiday movie viewing experiences.

Today we dip our little toes into new territory with our first subtitled flick with Ang Lee’s epic 臥虎藏龍, otherwise known as Wò hǔ cáng long,  or for you western types, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Crouching Tiger is a love story between two fabled warriors who are must recapture a fabled sword stolen by a mysterious young warrior and her murderous master. Starring Chow Yun-fat, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi, and Chang Chen, Hidden Dragon was an absolute smash! It hit the record for box office for a foreign film surpassing $100 million in the US and making $213 million globally from a very humble $17 million budget, in addition to scoring 10 Oscar nominations, winning 4. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate hidden dragons and drinking while podcasting as we try to see if this is worth looking for or if it should keep hiding. 

In 2004, the guys that brought us South Park brought us a special little moment in cinema with their all-puppet extravaganza, Team America: World Police. This flick tells the story of Gary, a Broadway actor who is recruited by Team America to use his top gun acting chops to infiltrate various terrorist groups. But things get complicated when Gary quits and Team America suffers a major defeat and it’s up to Gary to swallow his...responsibility. Created by and starring the voice talents of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Team America was an ambitious project that made a modest $51 million from their $32 million budget and had audiences horrified and entertained alike. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate puppet fornication and the right PSI for puking as we try to see if this one collapses under its own weight or stands on its own...fuck yeah.

1996 gave us two things, cloned sheep and the Farrelly brother’s bowling comedy, Kingpin. Kingpin brought us the story of Roy Munson, a disgraced bowling phenom who lost his glory, and his hand, and now sells bowling supplies. One day, a visit to a local lane introduces him to Ishmael, the sweet Amish boy with a serious knack for the lanes. Roy convinces him he can turn him with his help they can win the million dollar prize at a massive tournament and they embark on a wild adventure full of missteps. With a great cast of Bill Murray, Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, and Vanessa Angel, but modest reviews and modest earnings, this one really turned up on the home video sales and became a fan favourite. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the line between good sex and great bowel movements as we try to see if this is a strike or if we should be spared.

In 1997, Ang Lee released a critically celebrated film called The Ice Storm. This flick tells the story of a couple of upper-class families and all the sex they wanna have with each other, with a few other sprinkles of social depression and anxiety thrown in. Starring Kevin Kline, Sigourney Weaver, Elijah Wood, Tobey Macguire, Christina Ricci, Joan Allen, and Katie Holmes, this flick had everything going for it but only made $8 million from an $18 million budget despite a strong critical response. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate clumsy kids and shocking turn of events as we see if this one is as cold as ice or just lukewarm.

In 1988, we got another Frank Oz gem with Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. This flick gave us a look at two conmen with two very different approaches who are vying for one territory. So they decide to make a bet out of one of their marks by seeing who can con $50,000 out of her first. The winner will keep their rich little town in the French Riviera and the loser will move on to browner pastures. Starring Michael Caine, Steve Martin, and Glenne Headly, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was not short on talent, made $42 million at the box office, and became a comedy classic. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate corks on forks and scam philosophy as we try to see if this flick is the real deal or if we’ve been conned.

What’s that smell? Oh, I think it’s the Scent of a Woman! …welcome to this week’s movie, Martin Brest’s Scent of a Woman which tells the story of a prep school kid who takes a weekend job to assist an old retired Lt. Colonel while his family is away but gets more than he bargained for when the man takes him to New York for his suicide bucket list tour. Starring Al Pacino and Chris O’Donnell SoaW was critically celebrated, including Pacino winning the Oscar for best actor, and making $134 million from a $31 million dollar budget. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate nose geniuses and handicap creep-passes as we determine if this flick has the scent of success or the stank of failure.

Happy Halloween! To celebrate we are doing John Carpenter’s Halloween! Halloween tells the story of Michael Myers, a psychotic little boy who kills his sexy babysitting sister and later becomes a psychotic man who kills babysitters while being hunted by his obsessed therapist. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis in her first role, a reluctant and drunk Donald Pleasence, P.J. Soles, and Nick Castle as Myers, Halloween did not have immediate star appeal and was shot on a shoestring budget of $325K but ended up making a whopping $60+ million. Halloween became ingrained in our collective minds as the pivotal horror flick and spawned from its evil at least 11 sequels or spinoffs, so far. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate murder planning and creepy drive-by’s as we determine if this classic is a shriek or a snore.

Imagine you’re a sad slave owner whose wife and kid died, and now you also want to die, and then a cheeky vampire thinks he can make your dream come true with a technicality. You’ll be dead but still must wallow in your own miserable existence for eternity. Ha, that’ll fix it… Welcome to 1994’s Interview with the Vampire, directed by Neil Jordan. Interview was the attempt to turn the vampire genre into a big-budget epic and tell Anne Rice’s story of Lestat and Louis and their twisted time together and Louis’s meandering life afterwards. With the massive cast of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas, and Christian Slater, this flick was a box office success making $220 million from a $60 million budget and warming the blood of fans all over. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate Zoloft for vampires and coffin necessities as we try to determine if this one gives life or sucks it.