Hold Up

In 1997, Vincenzo Natali released the Canadian indie flick, Cube. Cube tells the story of a group of strangers who wake up inside a giant cube with traps scattered throughout. The group must manage personalities and traps as they try to solve the puzzle and escape the dreaded Cube. This flick had a small budget and a small set but big dreams which were realized by making $9 million from a $350,000 budget and by attaining a cult following and even has two current remakes planned in both the US and Japan. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate overacting, bad Murtaugh impressions, and depression’s bad timing as we try to see if this one has dimension or if it’s a square.

In 1996, Wes Craven released Scream, a return to the Horror genre for which he became famous. Scream tells the story of Sidney Prescott who becomes the target of a vicious ghost-faced killer or, Ghostface, to his friends. This happens a year after her mother was killed, and while she has already identified her mother's murderer, a new killer raises doubt and questions as people continue to get divorced from their guts. Scream featured a big cast of young talent including, Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Drew Barrymore, Matthew Lillard, Skeet Ulrich, and Rose McGowan. Scream made an amazing $173 million in the box office off a $15 million budget while bringing the slasher back to the mainstream and became an instant classic. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss proper murder planning and running around in a robe and mask as we try to decide if this one is a screamer or a yawn. 

First of all, who wouldn’t feel honoured to be Satan’s choice to mother his child? He could have pretty much anyone and he chooses me? I get to be Satan’s special girl? Hard to turn that down. He’s a total catch; famous, powerful, probably rich, has his own place, and those eyes... Anywho, this week we are talking about Polanski’s ’68 thriller/horror Rosemary’s Baby. The story of a woman who suspects her husband has sold her out to a witch's coven in order to have the Devil’s child. Starring Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes, and Charles Grodin’s debut, this icon of the horror genre made $33 million from a $3 million budget and was cemented in history as a classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate orgies for the elderly and troubles with cult enrollment as we try to decide if this one should be carried to term or aborted.

You love road trips, we love road trips, everyone loves road trips, right? Well not the Hoover family, as they pack it into their VW Microbus and travel from New Mexico to California in 2006’s Little Miss Sunshine. Richard (Greg Kinnear), Sheryl (Toni Collette), Dwayne (Paul Dano), and Grandpa (Alan Arkin), and Olive (Abigail Breslin) are the Hoovers, a modest family with a penchant for the dramatic. After Sheryl’s brother Frank (Carell) tries to kill himself following a personal and professional tragedy, the Hoovers agree to take him in. But when Olive learns that she is a finalist in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant, the entire family knows they have to do what it takes to get her there to let her live her dreams. Alan Arkin and writer Michael Arndt won Oscars for their efforts, and Little Miss Sunshine went on to make over $100M on an $8M budget. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent debate micro-dosing with heroin and creepy as fuck child pageants as they see if this movie deserves a first-p

Have you ever wanted to spend time on The Lonely Island with a stunt man who gets beat up by his dad on a daily basis while preparing for an insane stunt that will save his dad so he can beat his dad to death? Oh, you have? Then you'll fit right into the 2007 comedy film Hot Rod. Hot Rod follows Rod as he...well, read the first sentence again. Starring Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Sissy Spacek, Ian McShane, Will Arnett, and Chris Parnell, Hot Rod was pretty much a bust in the box office, but picked up steam in the rental and DVD market, barely turning a profit. Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss surreal humour, girl next door love stories, and punch dancing to see if this movie's rod is hot, or if it should just crash and blow up in front of a live audience.

You ever been sitting at home and wonder to yourself; I wonder if it’s possible to combine the horrible esthetic and bigotry of the 80’s with really shitty dance? Nope, and neither should anyone else. Enter stage left, Ren, who moves to the small town of Bomont with his ma to live with his uncle and aunt because shit must have been horrible in Chicago. Ren is a hip city kid who likes to dance but dancing is banned in Bomont so Ren finds himself on a mission to change the minds of the town and bang the Reverend's daughter. Will the Reverend see the error of his ways? Will the kids dance? Will Ren get a haircut? Are you still reading this? Starring Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, and Lori Singer, Footloose laid a cultural footprint and became a classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss homoerotic subtext and not sticking your dick in crazy as we try to decide if this is more footloose or footnoose.

If you are in a dark place then today’s flick will be right up your alley. In a world where genetics is the biggest factor being considered for your future, how do you achieve your dreams of being the meat filling in a giant metal space missile if they only take the very best and greatest eugenics has to offer? Well, you steal an identity and get your legs stretched and begin the very difficult work of being awesome while also trying to evade capture and being the prime suspect in a murder case while boinking a hot refurb model of biological semi-perfectionism. Welcome to Gattaca, the sci-fi dystopian something or other featuring Ethan Hawke, Uma (she should go to one name), Alan Arkin, Ernest Borgnine, and the young pope. This was not a box office winner but was critically celebrated when it came out. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent wonder if Ethan Hawke had dick surgery while we try to determine if this one was made perfect or has a face only its mother could love.

A long time ago in a trailer park not so far away, Alex Rogan broke the top score on an arcade game called “Starfighter.” Little does he know his high score sets in motion a chain of events where an alien race will recruit him to defend the “the Frontier” from the evil Xur and the Kodan Armada in a space battle.  He gets picked up in what will later become the Jonny cab in Total Recall, by an alien named Centauri, who is dressed like a 1950’s dime store detective for some reason. He’s must leave his hard-working mother, sexually charged would-be girlfriend and the rest of the trailer park behind when he decides to take off for a much-needed adventure. After the space base where Alex meets all the other weird and wild alien starfighters is blow-up, he becomes the Frontiers only hope for survival. The movie was the first to try and seamlessly blend CGI special effects with real-life and ended up with mixed results. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent talk about guilt tripping would-be heroe

A long time ago in a North America that now seems very far far away, Richie Cunningham became a director and filmed a couple of Irish corkers as they take a trip across the pond to take a shot at finding land and a new life while accidentally stepping in some love along the way. Well, the two corkers are Tom “I’m totally not a hostage of a huge cult” Cruise and Nicole “Thank God I got a divorce from Tom when I did” Kidman who are joined alongside Thomas Gibson, Robert Prosky, and Cyril Cusack to bring together Ron “stop calling me Richie Cunningham” Howard’s, Far and Away. A film that brought home modest earnings and even more modest reviews but found a home in our hearts anyways. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate fisticuffs technique and proper Irish accents as we try to decide if this one was a corker or a filthy leprechaun's taint.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be an incredibly successful and bigoted mentally ill man on the wrong side of 50? Mark Andrus and James L. Brooks (yes that one) did and then figured that they would make the foundation of a nice love story. Here’s the recipe, one dash old bigoted white guy, a splash of gay neighbour, a cup of sick kid, and a pint of Helen Hunt. Bake for 139 minutes and you have the award-winning classic, As Good As It Gets. AGAIG won Oscars for Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt, but also features fantastic performances by Greg Kinnear, Cuba Gooding Jr. and then Skeet Ulrich shows up this one time. Made for $50 million AGAIG pulled in a massive $314 million in the box office and won 2 of 7 Oscar nods. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent wonder how much money it would take to let Jack Nicholson thrust his sweaty walrus body on top of us as we try to figure out if this flick is as good as it got, or if it needs to get got.

It’s 1963, you are a horny young woman on vacation with your family in a stale lakeside resort intended to entertain uptight yuppies in a way that would barely entertain your blind grandma. You see a handsome young man wearing his jeans concerningly high and you gush a noticeable puddle on the wood floor of the cabana. You must know him. You find out his partner has come down with an awful case of the pregnancy and you decide to help by borrowing a large sum from your aloof father so she can get a roadside coathangering. It all goes wrong but you fall in love with the twink with the nipple-high slacks and decide to help them perform a dance routine. It fails but your love persists. Your dad is angry, the girl mortally ill, the boy’s nipples chafed. Things are about to get dirty… Welcome to 1987’s dirty dancing directed by Emile Ardolino and starring Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze, and Jerry Orbach. This flick made a foot-stomping $214 million dollars from a $4.5 budget and even won an academy award for a song

In 2009, Disney and Pixar changed the course of animated movies forever with comedy-adventure flick, Up. Up shares the story of Carl Fredricksen, a curmudgeon widower who is holding on to memories of his recently passed wife by holding out on selling the home they met in and shared for many years. After it becomes clear that there is no stopping progress, Carl turns his house into an airship using a whole lotta balloons, and unwittingly takes Russell the Wilderness Explorer with him. Carl and Russell befriend a bird and a talking dog, but soon find that meeting your childhood hero may not be all they are cracked up to be. Spending over 5 years in development, Up both a critical and commercial success, grossing $735M off of a substantial $175M budget, winning Academy Awards for Animated Feature and Original Score. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent debate grumpy old men, overnight trips to other continents, and talking dogs as we see if adventure is out there, or if we should stay home and yel

In 1986, Director Michael Ritchie followed up Fletch, starring Chevy Chase, with The Golden Child, starring Eddie Murphy. So sayeth The Golden Child, every 1000 years, a golden child is born, but some people can't have nice things, and when ne'er-do-wellers set their mind to it, they can evil the shit out of any golden situation. And so we find Sardo Numspa kidnapping and attempting to murder a poor little boy (played by a little girl), and Chandler Jarrell (Murphy) and Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis) must set out to rescue the child and see how well sunlight shines into basements. The Golden Child made $150M off of a $25M budget but was met with skepticism by non-believers and pretty much everyone else too. As such, while Ritchie's Fletch was to be followed up by Fletch Lives, there was not quite as much outcry for The Golden Child 2: The Golden God. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate Claymation, Eddie Murphy's charm, and the good guy's decision to retrieve the Ajanti Dagger in the first

The end was nigh in 1979 when Francis Ford Coppola released his epic Vietnam mind fuck, Apocalypse Now. Featuring Martin Sheen as Captain Willard, a man who is given a mission to travel up the Nung River to assassinate a rogue Colonel Kurtz, played by Marlon Brando. Apocalypse Now’s cast is peppered with talent beyond the two heavyweights previously mentioned including, Laurence Fishburne, Harrison Ford, Robert Duvall, and Dennis Hopper. Noted for its wild and tumultuous filming, Apocalypse Now ended up becoming a classic and winning a number of awards. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the horror and the smell of victory as we determine if this one is apocalypse now or never.

In 2001, the chick flick got a makeover when Paul Feig released his raunchy r-rated comedy, Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids tells us the story of a down on her luck woman approaching middle age who must work through her insecurities after her best friend gets engaged and her friendship and identity become threatened. Featuring an all-killer cast including Kristen Wiig (also a co-writer), Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, Jon Hamm, Rebel Wilson, Ellie Kemper, and Wendi McLendon-Covey, Bridesmaids was in no short supply of talent, made $288 million off of a $32 million budget, and even secured two Oscar nods. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, debate the proper Xanax to scotch ratio as we decide if this flick deserves a spot at the head table, or if it is no better than shit in the street.

In 1987, Big Poppa Oliver Stone released Wall Street, a movie about Wall Street… This aptly named flick tells the story of a young stockbroker, Bud Fox, who is trying to land one of the big-time investors, Gordon Gecko. Gecko shows Fox the path to success, but he’ll have to sacrifice his morals and challenge his relationships to get there. Starring Charlie Sheen, his daddy Martin Sheen, Michael Douglas, Darryl Hannah, and Terrence Stamp, Wall Street was made for $16 million, made $43 million at the box office and became an instant classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, ask whether greed is good and how to get tiger blood as we determine if this flick is bullish or bullshit.

2003 brought us another Edward Zwick epic when he released his period piece action drama, The Last Samurai. The Last Samurai leads us into the world of the late 1800s Japan during a culture war as they westernize and have enlisted the help of some American military to assist in the training of their army to crush a rebellion. When captured, one of them will find his truth with the Samurai and switch sides. Starring Ken Watanabe, Tom Cruise, Billy Connolly, Hiroyuki Sanada, and Tony Goldwyn, The Last Samurai was very well received and made $456 million from a $150 million budget, on top of being nominated for 4 Oscars. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent contemplate ritual suicide and throwing samurai swords as we try to figure out if this one should find some long-sought peace, or commit seppuku. 

In 1983, John Landis brought us the double fish out of water comedy, Trading Places. Landis’s classic examines the nature vs nurture debate as two Wealthy wall street investors bet to see if a smooth-talking homeless conman can be converted into a successful executive, while an upper-crust executive will turn to crime when everything good in his life is stripped from him. Starring Dan Akroyd, Eddie Murphy, and Jamie-Lee Curtis, Trading Places was an instant hit making $90 million from a $15 million dollar budget, securing an Oscar nomination for the music, and was an instant classic. But, does hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate margin calls and gorilla love affairs as we try to determine if this one is worth a dollar or leaves us ruined.

In 1982, Walter Hill showed us that being openly racist, drinking and driving, and bus chases were all the fashion with his blockbuster buddy comedy 48 HRS.  Veteran actor Nick Nolte plays Jack Cates, a desperate San Francisco detective who signs out a slick-talking prisoner Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy in his first role) out of jail for two days to help him catch a cop killer. Jam-packed with gritty action, car chases, and the occasional fistfight in the streets, this movie showed audiences that Eddie was the real deal. His chemistry with Nolte is magical and the two shine on screen as we watch them roust cowboy bars and bust Reggie's former trick-happy associates. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate Reggie's unique methods of trying to get laid and Nolte's poor use of his flask to see if this action-comedy still packs a punch, or if we should lock it up and throw away the key. 

In 2000, Christopher Nolan released his backward forward thriller, Memento. Memento tells the story of an insurance salesman who is struck on the head when defending his wife from home invaders and develops anterograde amnesia, which prevents him from creating new memories. He then becomes totally engrossed in the hunting of his wife’s killer, using a system of pictures, notes, and tattoos to inform him where his memory is unable. Starring Guy Pearce, Carrie-Ann Moss, and Joe Pantoliano, Memento had box office and critical success and was applauded for its innovative structure. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, discuss at-home tattoo techniques as we determine if this flick is worth remembering, or better forgotten.