The Transforming Anxiety Podcast

We find patterns everywhere in nature: waves, stripes, spirals, and symmetries are just a few patterns we find in plants and animals. And wouldn't you know it, we humans are natural beings. And we love a good pattern, too, don't we? This week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast we're going to explore patterns...more specifically how we tend to repeat our patterns.  I want to explore with you where this shows up (hint: it's not just in what you're DOING) and a subtle, but extremely important, difference in how we repeat the patterns in our lives. So if you've ever wondered why you keep living out the same patterns (even when you *know* it's not working for you), join me for this episode and let's crack this one open so you can see it differently... Full show notes located at www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/podcast/163 

Anxious people often hear things like: Calm down! Don't worry so much... Oh, just relax. Let it go... *sigh* Yeah, WE KNOW! Amiright?! If we could calm down, quit worrying, relax, and let it go, we so totally would. No argument there. It's more a matter of HOW TO, yeah? The stumbling blocks on the way to calming down, relaxing, and letting it go are what we struggle with. This week's episode of The Transforming Anxiety Podcast is a 3-part framework that answers that "how to?" question. We'll explore how to let it go with 3 simple concepts borrowed from the Buddhist teachings. Join me for this one if this is something you'd like to start implementing in your life right away... www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/podcast/162 

I have a very technical, official episode of The Transforming Anxiety Podcast for you this week. (Ha, no I don't. That's a joke.) But what this episode lacks in formality it makes up for in USEFULNESS. We're talking about Relationship Mathtoday. And well, listen, I don't know if the title "relationship math" does this one justice. We're talking about the rule of thirds: how pretty much across the board, 1/3 of the people you run across are going to dislike you, 1/3 of them will be totally apathetic about you, but 1/3 of them are going to LOVE you. And that last 1/3 is the one to focus on. So many of us spend our time and energy hustling and trying to convince the first 2/3 (the haters and the apathetics) to come over to the 1/3 that LOVES us. But this is a lose-lose situation. Because 1) no one wants to be manipulated into a different, less authentic 1/3 than the one they're in, and 2) you totally miss out on the connection with the 1/3 that genuinely WANTS you. Yeah? Join me for this episode one and let's ex

One of the hottest topics with my clients is self-trust...it doesn't matter if you want to break old habits (i.e. overdrinking, staying up too late, feeling anxious) or clean up your (physical / mental / emotional / financial) health routine or simply feel good in your own skin, whatever it is you want for yourself that you don't currently have? It requires self-trust. So this week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast we're going to explore self-trust and HOW to develop trust in yourself. This is a big topic. Something we will surely revisit in future episodes. For now, we're going to look at self-trust by considering: HOW to cultivate a practice of self-trust What belonging and fixing our own broken wheels has to do with trusting in ourselves Why we can't begin to show up kindly or compassionately for others until we do the work inside, first However shiny we might look on the outside, most of us walk around with a never-ending stream of self-hatred on loop in our minds. Self-rejection is not the way to ste

We're going to do something a little different this week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast...I want to have a conversation with you about something I'm personally working on. This is not unique to me at all; it's something I suspect is the work ahead of many of us. And that is: Being Yourself. How do we do this? What does it even MEAN to "be yourself?" Because we all live in a world where we're told exactly how to do the things and what we should look like and how to show up and what all we need to get done. The world is *flooding* us with that information. Nonstop... So how do we strip it all away and simply BE? We're constantly bombarded by cultural conditioning and messaging about what a "good mom" does and what success looks like and oh yeah, here's what your house and clothes and vacation should be, too. The world tells us what's normal and convenient and expected of us. All the time... So how do become less of what "they" want from us and simply BE? To be honest, I've got more questions than answers t

We are all *well versed* in the benefits of physical fitness at this point. It's no secret that exercising regularly is great for our bodies, minds, and supports us emotionally, too. And I got to thinking...what about being mentally fit? What would it look like to extend our ideas of physical fitness to our mental and emotional states, too? And not just the perks of moving our bodies, but intentionally cultivating mental fitness. So that's what we're going to explore today on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast: the importance of being mentally fit + how we'd go about it. I break this topic into 4 elements: Training Strength Agility Rest (Hint: that last one might actually be the real winner, here.) Join me for this episode and let's discuss mental agility... For more on The Fierce Calm Project and to join in (and have me as YOUR coach!), visit www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/fiercecalmproject  Full show notes located at www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/podcast/158  Text PODCAST to +1 (816) 354-1279 for anxiety hacks

Women struggle with anxiety for a handful of reasons, but one of the biggies is a lack of confidence.  We treat confidence like we got lucky and have it, or don't. That it's something we may magically feel someday down the road, but can't right now. That it's on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum from anxiety...meaning: we can either feel anxious OR confident, but certainly not both. (Subtext: if I'm regularly feeling anxious, then confidence is not for me.) In this week's episode of The Transforming Anxiety Podcast I want to highlight the places where confidence goes to *die* and offer you the antidotes for those confidence thieves. If you've ever had thoughts like: I've never done it before... I've tried it but it didn't work out... I don't know HOW to do it... Everyone else has it all figured out... I could never do it... where "it" is: getting a new job, being more patient with the kids, starting a nourishing morning routine, or any other life / work / financial / health / relationship thing, th

There's a strong undercurrent of "not enough" in our culture... We are always trying to be better, thinner, funnier, smarter, richer, and further along than we are right now. There's a never-ending striving towards MORE. Having more, producing more, doing more... Have you noticed?? This week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast we're going to explore the idea of "enoughness"...because: you are enough. I want to consider a few things with you in this episode: The practice of letting this moment, right now, be enough How we fill our lives with STUFF in order to cover up painful feelings Even though shortcuts seem tempting, we steal from ourselves when we try to find the quickest path to our goals Join me for this episode and let's talk about you being enough.  For more on The Fierce Calm Project and to join in (and have me as YOUR coach!), visit www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/fiercecalmproject  Full show notes located at www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/podcast/156  Text PODCAST to +1 (816) 354-1279 for anxiety hack

We are constantly making decisions: this or that? In or out? Option A or option B? And I'd like to consider the opportunity cost of one of these (emotional) decisions in this week's episode of The Transforming Anxiety Podcast. Specifically: what do we give up when we "choose" (however subconsciously) anxiety? What is the opportunity cost of anxiety? Anxiety is something we assume we're stuck with. That we can't opt out of. But when we start to appreciate anxiety for what it is (a signal, a messenger, an experience that has wisdom to offer) we recognize that not only can we opt out...but that what we may want to choose instead contains vast rewards. The opportunity cost of anxiety is the life we give up when we stay stuck in the Groundhog-Day cycle of stress, worry, and overwhelm. The opportunity cost of anxiety includes the chances you don't take, the words you don't say, and the opportunities you don't pursue. The opportunity cost of anxiety is the presence, steadiness, and peace that we want. Let's talk abo

One of the really fun

Tell me, how often have you said something like: I can't handle it when my boss is so demanding I can't go through with that conversation I can't handle it when the kids are sick I can't imagine how I'd get through that kind of situation... Our vocabulary is filled with "I can't..." And what I want to explore with you on today's episode of The Transforming Anxiety Podcast is can't vs. don't want to. Because what's often more true is: I don't like it when my boss is so demanding, but I can handle it I don't want to go through with that conversation, but I will I hate it when the kids are sick, but we will get through it I don't want to imagine that kind of situation...but if I need to figure it out, I will There's a huge difference. One is full of limitations, inabilities, and obstacles. The other implies choice, options, and empowerment. Join me for this discussion and consider where YOU can shut down the "I can't..." in favor of, "I don't want to..." For more on The Fierce Calm Project and to join in (an

This week's episode of The Transforming Anxiety Podcast is one that cuts straight to the heart of *so much* of the anxiety that we create for ourselves... Like, have you noticed when you do something that puts you on edge (say, going to the dentist, or being in a large crowd) your tendency is to pretend that everything is fine and you are totally cool? Or when faced with a difficult family member or a friend you're at odds with, you're tempted to sweep it all under the rug and carry on as if nothing's bothering you? Or, my favorite, when you catch yourself playing a wild game of hide-and-seek with yourself because you're trying desperately to avoid knowing some deeply buried truth that's threatening to show itself (i.e. you hate the job, the relationship isn't working, you're sick of volunteering at the school) until you can barely recognize yourself? Yeah, it may be time to name the elephant... Consider how much effort it takes to avoid the elephant in the room, ANY room, when you're trying to (artificially)

Anyone else find themselves going through the day, just trying to keep the peace? Between the kids, the co-workers, the family, and the love-her-but-she's-kinda-tricky friend...not to mention the bigger world and all the COVID disagreements and social injustice and political upheaval...well, my friend, there's a lot of unrest that could use some peace-keeping. But I have an idea I want to share with you to save you the pain of running around *out there* trying to make your people happy and get all of the pieces in your life situated "just so..." And that's the idea of peace-making. Peace-keeping is when we try to make sure that everyone and everything is taken care of so that we can feel okay. Peace-making, on the other hand, is when we show up with a deep sense of *okayness* already within us. Peace-keeping says: I've got to keep all the balls in the air. Peace-making says: If (or when) it all crashes down, I'm willing to sit in the muck with you and love you. Peace-keeping says: Better keep going and doing

One of the truthiest truths I know is that we are all trying to get control. Control of the kids, our schedules, our bank accounts...control of the pandemic news, the political opinions, the understanding we have about what's going on in the world...control of our minds, how we're feeling, and what we're DOING, dammit. This week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast, I'd like to explore the idea that, well, we don't really have all that much control... ...but that we do have a GREAT amount of influence over our lives and our experiences. We can't control what happens out there. Life gets pretty life-y. And no amount of effort grants us more authority over what's coming at us. I'm sure you've noticed that by now. You know what, though? You have the power of influence, meaning you can: Direct your attention towards more of what you want in your life (and away from what you don't want) Sway your entire emotional landscape, generating feelings on purpose and crowding out unnecessary feelings Choose the thoughts an

I'm gonna guess that by now, your inbox + social media feeds + TV ads have crammed the "new year, new you" idea so far down your throat that you're positively choking on the frustration bred in the chasm between that nonsensical (commercial) idea and the reality you're experiencing: which is that today, this week, this month are actually *remarkably* the same as the past day, week, month… I'm with you. Today on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast we're going to talk about the notion of Same Old Anxiety and remember that: We're here to transform anxiety, not to transform YOU... ...because there's nothing wrong with you, and it turns out you can feel anxious without being anxious. Sound good? To apply for the next cohort of The Transforming Anxiety Collective, visit www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/call  For more on The Fierce Calm Project and to join in (and have me as YOUR coach!), visit www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/fiercecalmproject Full show notes are located at www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/podcast/149  Text POD

Well, ready or not, 2022 is here! And instead of wishing you a "happy new year" I'm just going to say: "new year!" Because really, it doesn't have to be happy. Or easy. Or peaceful. Or certain. If we've learned anything the past 2 years, we've learned to adjust our expectations of what might happen. So I'm going to just stick to the facts here: new year to you! Over the winter break I did a LOT of reading, mainly because I spent the fall getting behind on the reading I need to be doing for my meditation certification. And I was re-reading a certain chapter of Sebene Selassie's book You Belong and came to a section on compare and compete and thought: YES. I'm always looking to understand more about how we disconnect, separate, and create suffering for ourselves...because I'm deeply interested in connection, belonging, and creating steadiness as a lifestyle. And at the root of *so much* of our anxiety is this constant churn of comparing (what is she wearing? how much do they make? what does he eat for lunch?) a

Happy (almost) New Year! 2022...and who the hell knows what this year will hold. I think most of us stopped guessing in early 2021 when it became pretty clear life was gonna be just as life-y as it wanted to be...

It's Christmastime, dear ones, here we go! For so many of us it's like the parenthood superbowl, the to-do list marathon, and the Pinterest-perfect Olympics all wrapped up into ONE DAY. *sigh*  It also doesn't have to be that way... This week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast we're going to talk about being imperfect...emphasis on being. We've all read plenty of articles on perfectionism, we've come across the books and tips and talking points. We don't need to KNOW more about perfect and imperfect. What we need is to BE. We need to integrate more being into our lives. Not the doing and going and achieving and producing... The BEING. So I thought we'd have a little chat about being imperfect. What that would look like. Why it's difficult. And how we can practice more being and less perfectionism. In this episode we're going to explore being imperfect through: Wobbling Feeling Acceptance  It’s been a wild ride these past couple of years and there’s nothing like the holidays + family get-togethers to really

This should be fun, right?? A conversation all about being awkward. I've found that feeling awkward, and even a *fear* of feeling of awkward, can be quite a source of anxiety. And y'know, around here, instead of shying away from those kinds of topics, I like to move towards them and see if we can't make some sense of them together. So this week on The Transforming Anxiety Podcast we're going all in on awkwardness. What is awkwardness? How does it affect our conversations, relationships, and how we go about our lives? How can we shift our perspective and use awkwardness as a kind messenger instead of a "hit the exit" alarm bell? ☝️ These are the ideas we're going to explore together. Join me. Let's make *awkward* as straightforward and easy as possible. Whaddya say? For more on The Fierce Calm Project and to join in (and have me as YOUR coach!), visit www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/fiercecalmproject  Full show notes are located at www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com/podcast/145  Text PODCAST to +1 (816) 354-1279 for an

Have you ever talked to anxiety? Most of the time, we're pushing against anxiety, going to battle with it, and generally hating it...you with me? But this week on the podcast, I'd like to explore the idea of having a conversation with anxiety. When we lean towards anxiety and get to know it, we can understand how and why it's showing up vs. resisting anxiety and losing all of the wisdom and insights it holds for us. When we stay curious about anxiety we can see what's real and true in the moment instead of making blanket assumptions and creating self-fulfilling prophecies that feel *terrible*. And when we cultivate kindness and compassion and support ourselves when we feel anxious, we get to FEEL that kindness and compassion...instead of fueling ourselves with the usual anger, frustration, and vitriol we typically save for anxiety. Just like Joy, Disgust, Sadness, Fear, and Anger all had conversations in the Pixar film Inside out, Anxiety has things to share with you, too. Let's listen in this week and see wh