Robot Monk Xian'er

问：我总是害怕失败，害怕别人笑话我，于是什么都不敢做。我总是想把事情做到十全十美，虽然我也知道世上无完事，但总会这么想。我从小生活在一个没有人肯定我的家庭中，我还有个妹妹，小时候，她经常不及格，而我总是考班级前几名。可是，我的爸爸总是会鼓励妹妹，夸赞她。而对我，总是大骂，怪我没考满分。I am always soafraid of failure and ridicule from others that I dare not do anything. Ialways want to make things perfect. Even though I know that there is no perfectthing in the world, I can’t help thinking that way. I grew up in a family wherenobody appreciated me. I have a little sister. She often failed her exams as achild while I was always at the top of the class. However, my father alwaysencouraged and praised her, but tended to scold and blame me for not gettingfull marks.答：从小内心欠缺爱和鼓励，会有两个方向。一是意识到人永远无法依靠别人，从而更加自信、坚强；二是被打败，一生都活他人的眼光中，敏感、胆小，郁郁不乐。前者是向内求，后者是向外求，想要选择哪一个，自己应该很清楚的。其实，归罪于家人也是一种向外求的表现。There are two directions for those who have been lack of love andencouragement since their childhood: for one thing, to realize that there isnobody else to rely on, and thus become more confident and stronger; foranother, to be defeated and live a lifetime in others’ eyes,