The Terri Cole Show

I'm so excited to have Tim Chantarangsu on the show to talk about life as a comedian, being one of the OG content creators (he started *before* YouTube was a thing), family, food, and being a father.  I met Tim on the set of Counsel Culture with Nick Cannon and was immediately drawn to how insightful and humorous he was. I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/737

Do you catch yourself saying… I don’t want them to think… I don’t want them to feel… I don’t want to seem difficult… I don’t want to hurt their feelings… If so, this episode is for you because it’s about becoming a boundary boss without guilt. When we say, “I don’t want them to think,” or “I just wanted to be nice,” we’re self-abandoning and not setting boundaries we need to set. It’s time to change that! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/736

I'm thrilled to welcome my close pal, Jennifer Pastiloff, back to the show to celebrate the release of her new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life. It's a call to arms to stop self-abandoning and no longer wait for permission, which I think is perfect for this community. ❤️ Jen has such a unique voice and wonderful sense of humor, and in this girlfriend jam, we talk about shame loss, Jen's inspiration for the subtitle, and how she is really living what she's writing about. It's so inspiring and empowering.  Watch to the end because she also shares a beautiful poem for those who feel like they're constantly behind. I think you'll love it!  P.S. Jen's TEDx Talk, Nothing You Do Is Wrong: https://youtu.be/_-RlIS9JbhM?si=fU2V8AuP6CvlqzSw Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/735

Do you find yourself saying "I don't want to hurt their feelings" while completely abandoning your own needs? You think you're being nice, but you're actually training people to ignore what matters to you—because you're ignoring it first. In this episode, I break down the hidden cost of people-pleasing and why "being nice" is often just self-abandonment dressed up as politeness. I go over the 5 core types of boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, material, and energetic) and shares exactly what healthy boundary-setting looks like in real life. You'll learn: Why boundaries aren't walls—they're doors that YOU control How you teach people to treat you by what you allow, stop, and reinforce The difference between being liked and being safe What to do when people get mad about your boundaries Why the more authentic you is waiting on the other side of the limits you set Plus, get Terri's Boundary Script Kit with scripts for all 5 types of boundaries at terricole.com/guide. If you've spent years people-pleasing

I am so excited to have dating coach and podcast host Sabrina Zohar on the show to talk about dating, relational issues, and what a secure, emotionally safe relationship looks like.  Sabrina shares the work that she did to get out of unhealthy relational patterns, how she navigates her relationship with her narcissistic father, what her and her partner do to make each other feel safe and secure, how she sets boundaries with difficult people, and so much more.

Do you say yes when you want to say no? Do you do more emotional labor in nearly all of your relationships? Are you the one everyone counts on, while no one is there for you? (Maybe you don’t even allow people to be there for you?) If any of this sounds familiar, this episode is for you.  I had many requests to do another episode on people-pleasing, so let’s cover how people-pleasing and self-abandonment are survival mechanisms, the cost of these behaviors to us and our relationships, and how we can slowly shift into healthier ways of relating. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/732

I'm so excited to have a new pal, Alana Carvalho, a licensed mental health counselor, on the show to talk about two topics we're both passionate about: codependency and perfectionism! We talk about why these two things go together, our experiences of being in recovery from both, what inspired Alana to create The Codependent Perfectionist brand, how to ease up on perfectionism and codependent behaviors, and so much more.  I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/731

Do you notice micro changes in people’s facial expressions and ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?” Are you able to sit with someone in pain without trying to fix them? Are you so emotionally attuned to everything and everyone that you feel exhausted? If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not broken; you just lack the skills (boundaries!) needed to embrace your superpower (being an empath). You can care, love, and feel deeply without losing yourself in someone’s pain, which is what I’m talking about in this episode. I hope it helps you hit pause on taking on people’s emotions and gives you the tools you need to manage your energy. Read the show notes from today's episode at terricole.com/730

I am thrilled to have Shannon Watts, author and founder of Moms Demand Action, on the show to talk about her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. I was definitely fired up and inspired by what Shannon had to share, and I think you will be, too. If you've been going through life on autopilot (as many high-functioning codependents do), feel like something is missing, or like you've been playing it small and it's time to stop and do something different, this conversation is for you. Shannon shares practical tips and strategies for reimagining your life and while we talk about perimenopause and menopause, these tips can apply to anyone in any season of life! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/729

Every close relationship hits turbulence at some point. Conflict is inevitable.  That’s why the real magic of secure, emotionally mature relationships isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about having the tools to come back together and repair. Repair requires us to be proactive because the work needs to begin long before it is actually needed. You can’t build a bridge in the middle of a storm (aka, a conflict). Having the ability to repair after disconnection or disagreements is everything. In this episode, I’m teaching you how to create a repair kit so you can prepare to handle conflict much more productively. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/726

Sometimes, it helps to laugh at life’s problems– Even the real ones. If you could use some help in finding humor in today’s current events, Angie is your gal! Today I’m sharing a relaxed chat with Angie “Pumps” Sullivan, co-author of Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches and co-host of the podcast I’ve Had It. Somehow, the conversation feels light even as we delve into the reality of mourning dreams and expectations, being a role model for your children, and speaking up to yourself without being a “Karen.” I hope you enjoy today’s episode with Angie as much as I enjoyed chatting with her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/727

I am so excited to have Dr. Sara Reardon, aka The Vag Whisperer, on the show today to give us the basics when it comes to pelvic floor health. Why? Because the condition of our pelvic floor impacts so many different systems of our body and it changes throughout our life, especially in perimenopause and menopause. During our conversation, Sara breaks everything down in an accessible way and shares easy tips you can use to begin working on your pelvic floor. If you want more info, be sure to grab her book, Floored: A Woman's Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/725

Did you know that 1 in 4 children in the US grows up without a father? Or that 80% of single-parent homes are led by mothers? These statistics may not come as a surprise, but what we don’t talk about are the millions of other kids who may have dads who are physically present but emotionally absent. Dads who are abusive, addicted, sporadic, neglectful, or narcissistic.  As Father’s Day approaches, I wanted to explore how father wounds can impact our relationships, self-worth, and overall success. I’ll share my own experiences, debunk some father wound myths, and offer you ideas on how to heal and celebrate Father’s Day differently. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/725

Today I’m so excited to welcome Rha Goddess to The Terri Cole Show! She shares what she’s learned on her journey, from her origin story rooted in civil rights and hip hop to the personal awakening that led her to redefine ambition and success for herself. Plus, why now was the time to write her book Intentional Ambition and her own personal boundary struggles. Listen for everything you need to do life with more joy, freedom, fulfillment, and courage. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/724

I am so thrilled to have my friends and hosts of the popular Almost 30 podcast, Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, on the show to talk about their new book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond.  If you're going through any sort of transition, I think you'll love it, because the big theme of our conversation is how to weather the storm of transitions. Lindsey and Krista offer the perfect blend of wisdom and curiosity in sharing their stories about questioning societal expectations, walking their own path, and befriending the body. I hope you enjoy this girlfriend jam as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/723

Does everyone come to you when there’s a problem because you’re known for giving the best advice or being good in a crisis? Do you intervene in family members’ situations before they even ask for help? Do you feel anxious or guilty when others struggle? Do you rush to smooth things over? Or do you subconsciously look for people to save? The broken-winged birds? These are all signs you might have a savior complex. If you’re exhausted from playing this role, you’re in the right place.  I’ll walk you through how to become an authentic supporter rather than a savior, the differences between the two, and share a few reasons why some of us naturally fall into the role of savior. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/722

Are you a highly capable and successful woman who feels lost when it comes to love and attracting an equal partner? Does it feel like love is the only area of your life you're *not* an expert in? Then tune into this episode with my pal Sami Wunder because Sami's expertise is in helping high-achieving women find lasting love. We talked about what Sami learned about love from her parents, her dating struggles, the ultimate boundary she set when dating, masculine and feminine energy, not trying to earn love, and believing that you're inherently worthy and how to date in a way that reflects this belief.  Sami is also offering two free gifts:  Early Dating Mastery: https://start.samiwunder.com/free-acess-early-dating-mastery-video-series/ Get Him Obsessed (for those who are partnered): https://start.samiwunder.com/get-him-obsessed-video-series-sign-up/ Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/721

Are you expressing anger in unexpected ways? Maybe you’ve been way more aggressive toward undeserving folks, inanimate objects, or fellow drivers because it feels safer or is the only way to express the anger you’re feeling with all the unrest in the world. Or maybe you’re guilty of spending hours thinking of the perfect comeback to a snide comment left on a social media post. With all of the global divisiveness we’re experiencing, and it being the end of Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to bring the concept of displaced aggression or anger to your attention. If your anger is surprising you or coming out sideways, you might be displacing it.  In this episode, I’ll break down what it is, how to know if you’re displacing your aggression, and healthier, more productive ways we can channel and manage our anger. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/720

I am so excited to have my new pal, couples therapist and author Dené Logan, on the show to talk about her new book, Sovereign Love: A Guide to Healing Relationships by Reclaiming the Masculine and Feminine Within.  There's a lot of misunderstanding when it comes to the masculine and feminine, and Dené does an amazing job of breaking this concept down.  We also shared our experiences with codependency in relationships and the importance of taking responsibility for our part in things (which includes understanding what activates you and being able to talk about it).  Dené offered so much wisdom in this conversation and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/719

Do you ever wonder when it’s appropriate to set a boundary? Or do you wish you knew what boundaries to set? Maybe unhealthy behavior was normalized in your family of origin, making it difficult to know when a request is “reasonable.” If so, this episode is for you. It’s the second in a two-part series about boundaries and high-functioning codependency (HFC). In this one, we’re covering the five types of boundaries, three boundary styles, and tips for when to set a boundary and how to do it. You can catch Part 1 here, where we covered boundary basics and talked about the unique challenges HFCs have in setting boundaries. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/718