Banter For All

The boys are back in town, away from each other! To bring calm to the corona chaos, Mike, Rustin and Justin are back after a 16 month hiatus to tell you how to live your best quarantined life now - drafting from 10 different categories including TV series to binge, smartest thing to hoard, and a new hobby to learn in all your newfound spare time. Enjoy from our living rooms to yours!

Uh-buh-DEE, uh-buh-DEE, uh-buh-DEE, uh-buh… that’ all, folks! In our final episode (at least for this “season”) the boys bid adieu to the banter-verse by talking about what they’ll most love and hate to leave behind, favorite pod moments, the GOAT BOTM and for one last time draw a random trivial pursuit card and play Would You Rather. Mike throws the kitchen sink at burning loins, Justin hates on paper bags, Rustin pimps some babies, and the boys put their three heads together to dump a hypothetical girl.

Welcome to Iceland! In this frigid forum, the banter boys breakdown this tiny, McDonald’s-less island by discussing what it would be like to travel with the Vikings who discovered it, eating ram’s testicles, Iceland’s famous hot dogs (and what goes on them) and how to murdered there. Mike gets sneak(ered) attacked by a wave, gets swindled by some theft insurance, and Justin hugs his Keurig.

Born in the U.S.A., this pregnant pod births a gem – with a temporary host and his expert sister who walk our three pod pals through the most magical (and at times terrible) process known to mankind. The quartet tackles how many kids they want, baby movies and the male equivalent to childbirth (spoiler: Rustin’s is gross). Justin conducts a Persian wedding, Mike passes a kidney stone, and Rustin is REALLY nervous about fatherhood.

Enrollment is open! In this tuition-free episode, the boys have a collegiate conversation about what’s overrated and underrated in the world of post-high education and relive Rustin’s university days. Justin eats a Cream Slush, Mike can’t build a house, and Rustin is inadvisably being trusted with teenagers.  

We’ve got some banter up our sleeve! In this magical movement the banter boys compare Harry Potter and the Marvel Universe, decide if they believe in magic, and show off an unforgettable illusion (Michael) at a child’s birthday party. Mike exposes Superman, Rustin tries to unite our political parties, and the Great Justin Extraordinaire sets a kids’ pants on fire.

Can you spell b-a-n-t-e-r? You may have heard the buzz, but in this un-BEE-lievable episode, the boyzzzz give a nod to America’s actual favorite past time: the Spelling Bee. We look at crazy British spellings, Bee Trivia, forcing kids to do things, spoonerisms, and the most annoying voice ever heard. Justin gets called “Frankenstein” by a 2nd grade girl, Rustin’s dictionary is drowning, and Mike plays the llama’s booty.

Race ya to Camp Town! In this ode to the outdoors, the boys break down toilets on the backs of cars, pie irons, Campy movies and whether or not to bring a pillow. Mike loves pooping in the woods, Rustin struggles with arts and crafts time, and Justin just wants a cold hot dog.

G’day, mates! In this episode Down Under, the blokes breakdown all things Australia. When it comes to Aussie slang, it’s chockers in here! Don’t split the dummy or get your budgie smugglers bunched in your tracky dacks, ‘cause we’ve also get some Australian cuisine and celebrities to break down. If you’re a two-pot screamer, you may need to take a sickie to absorb show, fair dinkum. Mike twirls in his office chair, lays down the beetroot and Justin throws some square wombat poop.

Happy 50th show! What’s in a name? Come find out! In this signature ‘sode the boys break down their own names (and attempt to say them backward), chose between awful baby names (and assign a few to Rustin’s bun in the oven) and celebrate chimichangas, for many reasons. Rustin wants a chinchilla, Mike can’t find his roots and Justin wants his name to be sung. Little Sweetmeat for all!

This banter prospers, cuz it never cheats! In this admittedly shady show, these tricksters chatter all things cheating. Rustin leads Mike and Justin into a Quest Side Story, sneaking into the principal’s office, Mike tests their limits of cheat (That’s Too Man, Man!) and Justin gives presents a Steroid-riddled version of Would You Rather. Mike advocates for polygamy, Justin is jacked about U-Scan at Safeway and Rustin, well, this about questionable morals… you do the math.  

There’s a spring in our step! In this vernal version, the boys banter over spring break plans and pick out their favorite Easter pets. Mike gets grossed out by Mae West, Justin is terrified of bunnies and Rustin gets to go to Spring Training.

There’s no need to fear, the underdogs are here! In this ‘sode for Cinderellas, the boys tackle upsets: David over Goliath, the tortoise over the hare, and John McClane over pretty much everyone. The boys pick their own March Madness bracket, talk upset stomachs and things that just make them plain upset. Rustin almost dies in Rome, Justin hates how you hate your bracket and Mike pull off the greatest upset ever: student body president.

Yabba Dabba Doo! In this animated airing, the boys chisel out their Mount Rushmores of all-time favorite cartoons, take a Sporcle toon quote quiz and let the Simpsons tell the future. Emotional hamsters are flushed down the toilet, Justin comes around to Winter Olympic love, and Rustin hates on Mike’s softball board.

Scrub up! In the cleanest episode to date, the Banter Boys break down appropriate urinal usage, Tide Pods and bathing in Indonesia.  Rustin’s secret poop spot gets outed, Mike wants to fart green and Justin may get cancer but at least his arms are dry.

Goeie Dag, everyone! Welcome to Namibia, Africa, where the banter is ready to go on safari. In this show, we learn Trump can’t pronounce the country’s name correctly, Mike wants to hang out with the free-roaming Cheetahs, and Rustin wants to sandboard down the Namibian dunes at 50 mph. Mike loves outdoor restrooms, Rustin is top secret about his own favorite squat spot and Justin just wants those powerful hand dryers.

You can’t handle the truth of banter! In this no-faux fo sho show, the boys decide if truth should be absolute or relative, learn Jim Carrey was almost Dr. Evil, and take a crack at some spoonerisms (and may or may not trying spooning together). Rustin’s a dirty liar (shocker), Mike wants to give it to ya straight and Justin and Rustin fear they might get fired from an upcoming job they’ll be doing together.

Let’s get pumped up! In this gaseous rendition of bantering the fellas learn about all about the third state of matter, whether it be in your pump, digestive tract or threatening to wipe out mankind. Mike thinks he could be a beef jerky kleptomaniac, Rustin is a pepperoni stick connoisseur (no, I swear we talked about gas) and Justin climbed a mountain only to be severely disappointed (and went broke). 

Hope you saved room for dessert! In this sugary show the bows learn about the origins of desserts, draft their own favorite desserts, and learn about sweets of the future. Rustin gets punched by a computer screen, Mike is hatefully sour on caramel, Clint Eastwood is the savior of ice cream and Justin picks a fight with Mike’s mother-in-law.

Feliz Navidad! Dashing through our second annual Christmas extravaganza, we break down the hottest toys of 2017, draft our perfect Christmases, exchange gifts verbally, offer Christmas life hacks and decipher the naughty and the nice of Christmas. Justin gives a shout out to his Peeps, Mike offers to hang lights for the ‘ustins and Rustin gets the same game system 25 years apart.