What The If?

Matt & Gaby are on assignment this week, so we present an encore presentation of one of our most popular episodes. This one is super fun and comes from Sept. 16, 2024. We hope you enjoy it. --- What if humans were the latest must-have pet for trendy aliens? This episode explores the hilarious and bizarre scenario of extraterrestrial beings snatching us up like puppies from a shelter. From alien vets poking and prodding us for space parasites to the culinary delights of human kibble, we dive into the wacky world of human domestication. Discover the joys of alien fashion shows featuring humans in adorable hats, and the headaches caused by mischievous humans forming underground resistance movements at the local alien graveyard. We even ponder the age-old alien question: "Do you think my human understands me when I talk to it in Zorblaxian?" This thought-provoking "what if" scenario was suggested by listener Dan Floyd. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the an

What the if there was a nuclear reactor on the moon? NASA wants to launch a 100-kilowatt nuclear reactor to the lunar surface before 2030, powerful enough to run about 80 households. From the terrifying "tickling the dragon's tail" experiments at Los Alamos where scientists held uranium chunks apart with just a screwdriver, to the reality that plutonium feels "like holding a rabbit" when you touch it, explore how chain reactions work and why control rods keep reactors from exploding. Because nothing says "home sweet home" like splitting atoms 240,000 miles from Earth. Based on "NASA Is Getting Fired Up About a Nuclear Reactor on the Moon" by Kenneth Chang, published in The New York Times on Aug. 6, 2025 https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/06/science/nasa-nuclear-reactor-moon.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ck8.Dvm_.ld6cKROnhA6r&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books

Anne from Queens, a longtime listener and proud sticker-carrying Patreon supporter, inspired this week's episode by asking: what the if humans couldn't sweat? Discover a world where everyone walks around panting like dogs with their tongues hanging out, cities install massive water pipeline infrastructure for knee-deep living rooms, and portable misters become as essential as smartphones. From the science of why dogs can't sweat to the physics of evaporative cooling, explore how we'd adapt with everything from swamp coolers to giant handheld fans. Just remember: in this world, breaking a sweat is literally impossible! --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What the if we just kept making telescopes bigger and bigger until they're the size of entire planetary orbits? Starting with the new Vera Rubin Observatory's 21-foot camera that immediately spotted 2,000 asteroids, explore a world where astronomers drop telescopes throughout Earth's orbit to create a synthetic lens 200 million miles wide. Discover how gravitational lenses could let you see taxi cabs on distant planets, why you'd need to be a billion miles from the Sun to use it as a magnifying glass, and how synthetic aperture telescopes work like having two eyes but separated by the width of solar systems. From spotting individual continents on exoplanets to taking year-long exposure photographs of alien worlds, turns out the universe's ultimate camera might already be built into the fabric of space itself. Based on "Earth's Largest Camera Takes Three Billion Pixel Images of the Night Sky" by Jonathan Corum and Kenneth Chang, published in The New York Times on June 19, 2025: https://www.nytimes.com/interact

Apologies for the delay in posting episodes! Holiday and travel got the best of us. But we're back, baby! ---- WHAT THE IF we could trade genes like playing cards? Scientists have discovered that fungi possess "Starship elements" - massive genetic cassettes that jump between species carrying cargo genes for superpowers like heavy metal resistance. These DNA chunks got their Star Trek names because researchers kept seeing Vulcan hand signs in their data when one fungus had the element and another didn't. From Kirk sequences that captain the whole operation to the possibility of stealing radiation resistance from a handshake, explore a world where your genome becomes as swappable as your wardrobe. Discover why OSHA might regulate genetic exchanges, how you could wake up having lost your Kardashian-level beauty overnight, and why shaking hands with Keith Richards could grant immortality. Just don't accidentally trade away your radiation-proofing during a one-night stand. --- Find out more about Gaby's scien

What the if we could go back to 1930 and experience the reluctant discovery of an entirely new kind of particle? When electrons started bouncing off things with missing momentum, physicist Wolfgang Pauli faced a choice: abandon the fundamental law of conservation of energy or invent something completely invisible to save physics. His solution was the neutrino - a particle so tiny and elusive it took 40 years to actually detect one, but so essential that billions are zipping through your body right now. From billiard ball analogies with microscopic fleas to using these ghostly particles to peek inside the sun, discover how scientists sometimes have to imagine entire new pieces of the universe just to keep their theories from falling apart. Meanwhile, Antarctic balloons are detecting mysterious signals that might be doing the exact same thing all over again. Based on "Strange Signals Detected From Antarctic Ice Seem To Defy The Laws Of Physics" by Ashley Strickland, published on CNN.com https://www.cnn.com/202

[Matt & Gaby are away this week, so please enjoy this Encore Presentation of one of our most popular episodes.] What The IF... you could see the TRUE SCALE of the Universe? We imagine entering the notorious torture device from he dastardly mind of the great Douglas Adams. Tune in to find out how it feels, and bring a BIG EGO and a hunger for fairy cake because this is a mind expanding adventure if you have a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny HUMAN MIND. Don't Panic! ---- Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! Email us at feedback@whattheif.com and let us know what's in your imagination. No idea is too small, or too big! --- Want to support the show? Click a rating or add a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app! itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1250517051?mt=2&ls=1 Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe at WhatTheIF.com Keep On IFFin', Philip, Matt & Gaby

What if climate change made submarines completely undetectable? As ocean temperatures rise, thermal layers are disrupting sonar so dramatically that entire regions become acoustic dead zones where submarines can hide indefinitely. Watch civilization adapt when nuclear subs vanish into warm water pockets, jellyfish swarms clog warship engines, and whale songs get drowned out by thermal chaos. Welcome to a world where jellyfish defeat the entire nuclear navy without even trying. Based on "Submarines are Hard to Detect. Climate Change May Make It Even Harder" by Jacob Judah, published in The New York Times on June 12, 2025. Read it for free with this gift link https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/12/climate/climate-change-submarines-sonar.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Ok8.ozn_.CJWn28rg1ezR&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-

What if the universe was stuck in an eternal cosmic Groundhog Day? Picture traveling backwards through time past the Big Bang only to discover you've looped right back to where you started - like a cosmic snake eating its own tail. Explore the mind-bending possibility that our entire universe repeats itself in endless cycles, where infinite copies of you exist scattered across millions of light years, all having this exact same conversation at different stages of cosmic evolution. Join cosmologist Niayesh Afshordi from the University of Waterloo and Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics, and science communicator Phil Halper, fellow of the Royal Astronomical Society, as they dive into Roger Penrose's controversial time loops and the heated scientific battles between cosmologists who engage in academic warfare. Discover the wild world where the universe literally forgets what's big and what's small, why some scientists think this cyclical cosmos is the answer to everything, while others call it pure fanta

What if teaching robots to play badminton was the beginning of the end? Scientists at ETH Zurich have successfully trained four-legged robots with mechanical arms to track shuttlecocks, navigate courts, and execute precise strikes against human players. But once these robots master the art of intercepting flying objects, what's next? Watch civilization unravel as badminton-playing robots evolve from harmless sporting partners to grenade-deflecting military units, eventually leading to wandering herds of sentient apartment buildings roaming the Great Plains while playing eternal badminton matches. From robotic sous chefs who season your cast iron wrong to buildings having midlife crises after the humans disappear, discover why teaching robots sports coordination might be humanity's final folly. Bonus: learn why nobody can fold a fitted sheet except Philip. Based on "Learning coordinated badminton skills for legged manipulators" by Yuntao Ma, Andrei Cramariuc, Farbod Farshidian, and Marco Hutter, published in

We're off this week for the Memorial Day Holiday in the US so we present here one of our most popular episodes, a classic IF from August 13, 2021 with the incomparable marine biologist from Australia, Dr. Vanessa Pirotta. Take a deep breath and enjoy this deep dive! ---- WHALES spend their entire lives inside a medium, water, in which they can’t actually breathe. So throughout the day, and the night, they have to swim to the surface to take a breath of that sweet, sweet ocean air… or they die! We humans, and other land lubber mammals like us, are spoiled, just inhale, anytime you want, and… problem solved. But — What The IF humans had to breathe by dunking our head in water? The amazing Dr. Vanessa Pirotta joins us from Sydney, Australia to take us into the wet and wild thought experiment, so we can learn real science! Imagine living the life of the whale, turned on it’s head. What world would we have built if our bodies worked this way? It’s like what if we emerged from the oceans, as we believe life

What if gene editing treatments become commonplace? Explore a world where a single DNA letter gets fixed with just three little shots, transforming deadly genetic disorders into manageable conditions. Babies born unable to clear toxic ammonia from their bodies now thrive after a simple genetic correction. Future treatments could target everything from sickle cell anemia to cystic fibrosis with similar precision. Imagine celebrating your bar mitzvah with a shot that cures your ancestral lactose intolerance, or future space travelers editing their genes for better bone density in zero-G. Just one microscopic change – like fixing a computer program's typo – can mean the difference between a short, painful existence and a normal, healthy life. Based on "Baby is Healed with World's First Personalized Gene Editing Treatment" by Gina Colada, published in the New York Times on May 16, 2025. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/15/health/gene-editing-personalized-rare-disorders.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Hk8.SpxN.mMIhoA

What if you could build up a resistance to absolutely anything through repeated exposure? Inspired by the real-life story of Tim Friede, who injected himself with increasing doses of snake venom until he developed immunity, this episode explores a world where humans can become resistant to gravity, car crashes, or even anvils to the head. From specialized training centers at the mall that progressively drop heavier objects on your skull to high school gym classes where kids graduate from Barbie cars to full-sized vehicles, discover how society would transform if human biology could adapt to literally anything. We explore how careers would change - plumbers resistant to bad smells, electricians handling live wires with bare hands - and how regional human subspecies might emerge based on local hazards. Would the Upper East Side elite compete to make their babies anvil-proof before their first birthday? In this world, your skull thickness might become your most valuable credential, and Halloween costumes would

What if humans and all mammals hatched from eggs? This episode explores a world where expectant parents carry decorated eggs to work, conference tables have special egg holders, and the Upper East Side boasts expensive hatcheries playing Mozart to developing offspring. From the marketing potential of personalized egg covers to the social stigmas of different egg-carrying methods, discover how our relationship with reproduction and parenting would transform. Would human eggs be leathery like reptiles or hard like birds? How would we adapt our homes, workplaces, and social structures for portable babies-to-be? And would egg-swapping become the new worry for anxious parents? This thought-provoking scenario was submitted by listener Anne from Queens, New York. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be or

Experience outer space without leaving Earth's atmosphere! Join planetary geologist and space lifestyle coach Kirby Runyon as he guides us through cosmic destinations on our own planet. From New Mexico's lava flows that mirror the Moon's dark volcanic plains to Northern Arizona's Meteor Crater (where three downtown Philadelphias could fit in the bottom), discover Earth's surprising cosmic connections. Float weightlessly in a modified Boeing 727 as it performs "parabolic arcs" giving you 20 seconds of perfect freedom where your face muscles relax and your arms float zombie-like in front of you. Or visit steam explosion craters in Southern California that reveal what early Mars looked like billions of years ago. The universe is more accessible than you think - you just need to know where to look. Learn more at https://planex.space/ and use promo code KirbyPlanEX to save 5% on Zero-G flights at https://gozeroG.com/ --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the antholo

Embark on a mind-bending thought experiment as our intrepid explorers dive deep into the annals of history, imagining how early humans might have unraveled the mysteries of solar eclipses. From cave paintings to mythical tales of celestial dragons, join the journey as Throg and his tribe attempt to make sense of the sun's sudden disappearance. Joins us as we ponder the birth of astronomy and the evolution of scientific thinking. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention

What if humans never stood upright and remained quadrupeds? Our world would transform into a society where everything is built low to the ground. Imagine shopping carts you push with your face, stadiums with no chairs where everyone sits like animals, and the social awkwardness of having your posterior constantly on display. The loss of our hands would dramatically impact agriculture, cooking, and sports—though we'd excel at truffle hunting and finding loose change. Discover why our spines might actually thank us for going horizontal, how backpacks would become "saddlebags," and why having mouth-operated tools might make friendship more necessary than ever. This thought-provoking "what if" scenario was suggested by listener Anne Fizzard from Queens, New York. --- Check out Gaby’s new sci-fi short story in The Map Of Lost Places!  https://www.apexbookcompany.com/products/the-map-of-lost-places

What if the fundamental forces of nature could change with time? Step into a universe where gravity might send you floating to the ceiling one morning, your coffee maker stops working as electricity changes its rules, and your very atoms could suddenly decide to explode. From your nervous system running on unpredictable electrical currents to the strong nuclear force taking a day off, discover how even tiny fluctuations in these cosmic constants would transform daily life into surreal chaos. Turns out the orderliness of our universe might be more miraculous than we realized - change any force by one part in a billion, and we wouldn't be here complaining about it. Based on "More Than a Hint’ That Dark Energy Isn’t What Astronomers Thought" by Katrina Miller and Dennis Overbye, published in The New York Times on March 19, 2025. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/19/science/space/astronomer-desi-dark-energy.html?smid=url-share&unlocked_article_code=1.-E4.npTp.cMswMP6FDuKn --- Find out more about Gaby's science f

What if filmmakers took their cameras to space? Prepare for a world of zero-G cinematography! From weather-sealed cameras designed to handle unexpected astronaut vomit to the perpetual hum of life-support systems ruining your audio, documentary filmmaking in orbit presents unique challenges. Discover why the International Space Station's lighting is "just awful," how playing a guitar in microgravity sends you spinning in unexpected directions, and why the first task in every Mars simulation is fixing the eternally broken toilet. Explore how future space workers will need specialized trade skills—from plumbers to welders—as humanity expands beyond Earth. This thought-provoking "what if" scenario features insights from documentary filmmaker Sam Burbank and Explore Mars CEO Chris Carberry. —— Chris Carberry is the CEO and co-founder of Explore Mars, Inc. (Explore Mars), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit space advocacy organization that was created to advance the goal of sending humans to Mars by the mid-2030s. Carberry i

Note from Philip: Matt and Gaby are both on assignment this week, so we proudly present an encore of one of our most popular episodes ever. ——— We welcome our newest Patreon supporter, Martin from Frankfurt, Germany! Inspired by the Paris Olympics which open today, we imagine Olympic events spread across the solar system in the year 3024! High jumps on the Moon, luge races on asteroids, and synchronized swimming in Titan's methane lakes. Athletes train in centrifuges to prepare for different gravities, while spectators watch solar sail races near the Sun. The episode explores the physics of sports in various planetary conditions, from the dense atmosphere of Jupiter to the microgravity of space stations. Learn about the challenges of organizing interplanetary competitions and the potential for new sports unique to each celestial body. --- Check out our membership rewards! Visit us at Patreon.com/Whattheif Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! E