Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery Podcast

Barm and Kregg (Sneed is in the previously on) return for more Picard, and everyone sort of agrees that this is maybe kinda sorta an improvement on the last two episodes.  Especially, a scene between Bevs and Jean-Luc has our knickers in a twist.  Barm also goes off on Boomers, Jack goes off on Zoomers who don’t know what Boomers are, Kregg is amused, but we all agree that Shaw is Gen-X.  We still can’t figure out whether Beverly is in Starfleet or not, but we do know Jack Crusher is the oldest-looking early twenty-something we’ve ever seen.  Packs a hell of a K-O punch, though.  We’re all entering a nebula of alcohol though, and wondering if the whole nightmare of Picard will end up being an elaborate prank orchestrated by Moriarty.  Plus, we celebrate some shocking Trek news and the return of Mando, and pray for Barm’s testicle.  In other words, it’s just a regular-ass Jaxilly. 

Ferengi expert Kregg Castillo, who is enjoying this season of Picard more than most, is back to help us figure out SNEEEEEEED, the first (speaking) Ferengi we’ve seen in live-action since that silly old Enterprise episode back in the day.  Does he pass muster?  Does WORF pass muster?  Can Picard EVER get its fill of literal heads rolling?  But we’re also talking about a much stranger configuration of G-Unit than the one you know, really homing in on whether Jack Crusher is supposed to be annoying or not, reiterating that birds are evil, wondering what Star Trek episode is coming out when you’re hearing this, and just having some fun.  Things are always better when there’s a Ferengi around. 

Picard is BACK, and of course that means the PD Crew is on the case.  If Picard can get the ol’ gang back together, why couldn’t Jaxilly?  But does the PD Crew LIKE what Picard is hawking?  (Shriking?) Spoiler alert: Not really, but we’re having as much fun chewing on this content here as Captain Shaw does chewing his dinner and also being annoyed by Picard and Riker and their harebrained schemes.  It’s early 2023, obviously, so Antman and the Wasp in Quantumania (remember that?) is on everyone’s minds, but we’re also comparing Jellico to Shaw, gushing over the Star Trek porn that is this season’s end credits, trying to figure out if we saw a Changeling, fantasizing about Picard going insane (or doing some actual acting), revisiting the Citadel of Galens, and dropping THREE phat new jams.  Season 3 of Picard may not be off to a great start, but this season of Jaxilly will have you ENGAGED. 

As Season one of Prodigy draws to a close (in 2023), Jack gets together with Barm for the first time in a while to discuss Prodigy and how the season finale of this CGI kids show packs in more classic Trek heart and soul than entire seasons of Discovery manage to.  But they’re also litigating the usage of speed anthems in early aughts racing movie trailers, talking Ludacris, trying to figure out what exactly warrant officers are, My Little Pony and other Jon de Lancie projects, and some surprising information about Dr. No.  It’s as explosive as the Protostar!   

Ring in the new year…. 2023…. in July 2025 (why not, it’s Jaxilly!) in this very special episode where three drunk guys are awash in residual holiday cheer and bonding over how this little Star Trek kids show that no one believed in is somehow building up to one of the most heartwrenching and tense finales in Trek history.  Over a bottle of smoky Scotch (among other things), Jack, Sam and Sean explain the surprising way Return of the Jedi changed all media forever, celebrate the triumphant return of Jellico, imagine a George Lucas / Ira Steven Behr creative partnership, fail to access the Jaxilly mailbag on mobile, discuss Bad Bond girls and how Sean likes Bond movies that suck, and just generally amuse the shit out of each other.  Here’s to another year of T’KUVMA. 

Rottweiler Kev is back for a body-swap Bonanza!  As they witness V.A. Janeway and Dal making a real mess of things in each other’s bodies, Kev and Jack reminisce on similar scenarios in Trek history, Jack shows off his hip-hop bona fides by declaring his love for numerous rap duos YOU’VE probably never heard of, Kev swaps bodies with someone who’d rather talk about ANYTHING other than James Bond, and they both are the first to hear what is surely going to THE summer jam of 2025! …. All the way back in 2022. 

Sam is back for Baby’s First Holodeck misadventure!  As he and Jack enjoy some classic Trek holodeck tropes, they also find time to investigate intriguing British changes to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, display their knowledge of various iterations of Jonny Quest, reminisce about the Year of Luigi, discuss what makes a good plane movie, try to recall fictional Marvel countries, elucidate what good can be Salva(tion)ged from shitty Terminator sequels, relive 90’s southern California talk radio, and in a very special Bond Talk session, Sam reports on his recent trip to London.

After starting out with some straight-up blasphemy, things only get worse from there as Jack and guest Sean Davis dig their way to hell with some Polish jokes and penis talk as they celebrate Pearl Harbor Day while talking about this CGI animated Star Trek show for children.  Aren’t you glad we’re back?  Don’t worry, we’re also getting esoteric with topics like the sovereignty of various Mediterranean islands, origins of nation names, alien lifespans, weird national borders, the origins of popular German stereotypes, what Prodigy does right with origin stories, and their final thoughts on ANDOR………… season one.   Long live 2022. 

Jaxilly, like the Romulans, is BACK!  Apologies for the delay, the hard drive with all the recordings was basically held hostage by a lunatic repairman for FIVE months, but it’s now back in my hands and repaired thanks to my pops!  Expect episodes on a regular basis, starting with THIS ONE, in which Jack and Geoff talk about Masquerade, the fourteenth episode of Star Trek: Prodigy!  It’s where Dal finds out what he really is!  And we find out what WE are, or at least what we were in November 2022.  Guys who talk a LOT about things like the return of Jellico, some surprising cast members, Elon Musk, the Outrageous Okona, the 25 Year Mission, and how Quantum Solace is better than you think.  And most importantly, the finale of ANDOR!  …. …. …. season one. 

  SPECIAL PRESENTATION: STAR TREK: SECTION 31~!  I know I’m sitting on a huge backlog of unreleased episodes, but we couldn’t wait to drop our thoughts on Section 31! Although since this movie is destined to be a perennial favorite I’m sure it wouldn’t matter when we drop this.  It’s a big boy packed with a squad as memorable and beloved as that in Section 31.  Enjoy!

For Christmas 2024, Carlos first makes the long voyage to California, Jack's ancestral homeland, and settles in for a evening of outdoor cabana Christmas Eve cheer alongside Jack, Jack's father and Jay-Z.  Merry Christmas!

While the Prodigy kids finally meet the REAL Janeway and her cronies, guest Kregg Castillo finally meets the XINDI!  It’s outrageous!  Also, Okona is in this episode for some reason, and that we means we get to reminisce on all the ways that TNG Season 2 was such remarkable television.  Kregg doesn&t remember Okona, and Jack also has some startling revelations about Prodigy that he already should have known.  Oh, and ANDOR TALK!  It’s all here, and it’s all outrageous!   

Guess who’s back?  Well, in addition to the spirits of the original Enterprise crew (the NC-1701’s, not the NX) (no, not Pike or April’s, Kirk’s crew) (Yes, the ones from the original SHOW) crew, living on through the will of these weird aliens, it’s Kev, to talk about an initially pretty wild episode of Prodigy with one of the strangest premises we’ve ever seen. Kev and Jack really dive into the nuts and bolts of how and more importantly, IF this episode can even make sense, and bring to life the guy from one episode of TOS who started it all. You’ll find it even more fun than constantly annoying everyone around you with a third-rate Shatner impression.

Jaxilly has assimilated a new guest, adding Beau Mathew’s knowledge of video games and Japanese language tests to its own.  Listeners, I’m telling you, resistance is futile! The day Jack had dreaded and hoped, as recently as the previous episode, would never arrive, is here (in late 2022, I mean). It’s Prodigy’s BABY’S FIRST BORG episode. Does it stand a chance, or is it as worthless to us as a Kazon is to the Borg? The only way to find out is to listen to these two interlocutors drone on to each other.  JOIN THE JAXILLY HIVE MIND.

Prodigy is back (this was WAY before it was canceled), and so is the PD Crew! That·s right, the Prodigy Debut Crew (aka Super Rios Bros) is back, and they couldn·t be happier than to be talking about Barniss. Fucking. FREX and some of the other less important characters. But first, Jack is going to spend an absurdly long time guessing who·s in a Marvel movie that everyone has already seen, and the fellas are gonna touch on what makes TNG unique, talk Babylon 5, reminisce on why cops are scary, and quote Eminem a lot.  And hope that Prodigy never, ever, ever, does a Borg episode.

Jaxilly’s coverage of the Lower Decks season 3 finale is finally released, and you’ll never guess the amazing stars Jack has gathered for this loving tribute to the Golden State.  It’s two of SoCal’s most golden, SoCal Scarf boys Sam Stovold and Sean Davis!  In addition to their thoughts on this exciting finale, you’ll hear a characteristic AI rant, explore the murky origins of Continuity Carlos, go on a Qualor deep dive, and celebrate some California Love!  And that isn’t even mentioning a special surprise appearance by two of hip-hop and R&B’s biggest stars, here to bridge the gap between east and west coasts!  It’s been a long road, but you’ll be Crazy in Love for this one, Rick!  It’s ya boys!

  WARNING: If this is your first time listening to this podcast, DO NOT start here, theoretical fan who’s just itching to hear some takes on the 9th episode of Season 3 of Lower Decks in August 2024.  For JAXILLY SUPERFANS ONLY (how’s that for some gatekeeping; rather, trying desperately to keep the gates open).  For fans of podcasts on life support that should have died, but have instead been cobbled together from FOUR different recordings recorded in THREE separate calendar years, have we got the five hour masterstroke for you here!  Never has anyone struggled so hard to bring you so little.  Seriously, if you can get past the random sound levels and temporal mechanics, there may be some fun to be had here.  Thank you to Barm, for making this episode possible, in both the worst and best ways.  JAXILLY IS FOR FREAKS

Dim the lights and put on some popcorn, it’s movie night at Jaxilly!  And the loudmouths in the theater this time are none other than Jack, Geoff, and Sean (with a special unbilled guest star (OK, it’s Sam)) showing up to use Crisis Point 2 to reflect on movie tropes, endless quote the Simpsons, talk about the hottest pop culture (of late 2024), and remember that ANDOR makes this a double feature!  JAXILLY WILL RETURN.

Chirp, chirp, CAW, muthafucka!  Peanut Hamper is BACK (for the first time) in a Very Special Episode of Lower Decks, and this episode of Jaxilly is also very special because the wonderful Michelle Ugalde flies back to the nest and rejoins the flock to sing her songs about it, songs that Jack, Sean, Sam and Barm are all too happy to join in singing.  Songs about birdmen, nipples, Final Fantasy, why ANDOR is the greatest goddamn thing ever and so much more.  Roost here!  CORNISH GAME HENS ARE BIRDS

The boys all head back to Deep Space 9 to reopen the wormhole, and they’re just as excited as the Cerritos crew!  Kregg, being a Ferengi expert / Dabo Boy, tells everyone AAAAAALLLLLL about Quark and his “Dabo Wheel”.  Plus, who can forget faithful Mariner, and her adventures in candle making?  Plus, we talk about the HOTTEST new Star Wars show.  That’s right, ANDOR.  Reopen 2022 with us.