Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, And Kink With Dawn Serra

Joanna Angel is joining the show this week and she's excited to talk about her new book, "Night Shift: A Choose Your Own Erotic Fantasy." We discuss how she came up with the story, the nostalgia of times past, feeling awkward and sexually inexperienced, and how some of Joanna's favorite memories of sex shop tours inspired so much of the book. You'll also want to check out the bonus reading on Patreon from Joanna's new book. Patreon supporters at the $3 level and above get access, so head over and listen now. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Joanna and I also talk about porn and what people get wrong about the industry, how she stays creative making 24 movies a year, how porn (and all of entertainment) is changing, and what's next for her literary adventures. I'm also doing a super soft launch of the 2018 Explore More Summit, so if you want to grab a spot head to exploremoresummit.com. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Joanna Angel: Joanna Angel is an award-winn

Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is a big ol' rant after a listener wrote in with some pretty problematic arguments around why coercion isn't rape and that relationships are about persuasion and convincing. Um....you KNOW I have thoughts. So what's up for this episode? AC wants to know where to find a kink expert that might teach at a private party about bondage and flogging. I recommend Fetlife to get started. Drowning in Relationship Theory is so stressed. Her and her husband decided to open their marriage so she could explore her bisexuality. She's met a lovely woman, her husband is on board, but she's been listening to lots of poly experts who all say hierarchical poly is unethical and that prioritizing her marriage is wrong. Can she be ethically polyamorous while treasuring her marriage?  I have several thoughts, and also recommend Tristan Taormino's "Opening Up", Andre Shakti's IAmPoly.net, and Poly Role Models. And the short answer is yes, of course. You can be married and ethically open, especia

Don't forget to grab your seat for the LIVE taping of Sex Gets Real to celebrate our 200th episode. Enter to join us here. This week, I am joined by the incredible Bianca Palmisano from Intimate Health Consulting. Bianca specializes in training medical doctors, nurses, and staff to be more inclusive when treating marginalized folks, especially around sexuality and gender. So, we go there. We talk about all the ways doctors fail us and the emotional labor we often have to do to train doctors on how to treat us well. We also talk about how Bianca gets into their offices in the first place and how she's received. Then we geek out over the medical conferences we've both attended because good god, is there a problem with the research being done. Ugh. And of course big pharma spends loads of money at medical conferences attracting doctors. There's NO MONEY in giving people better communication tools. We field two listeners questions. One on when to disclose that you have a kidney draining pouch and the other on how

There are still spots available for the LIVE recording of Sex Gets Real on March 22nd at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. If you want to help celebrate the 200th episode, just complete this little entry form - I would love to see you there! Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is a thinky-thoughty exploration of love and romance. I am now pre-enrolling three new on-demand workshops that you can take from the privacy of your own home, entirely online. They are affordable, fun, and will give you an opportunity to learn new things and engage with new ideas, either on your own or with a new partner. Head to dawnserra.com/courses to see all of the courses that are available. So what's up for this episode? Mary wrote in because she's have pain during sex. Her doctor didn't help and she's seeing a physical therapist for pelvic floor work, but what can she do? I'm not a doctor, but I can share a few resources about painful sex, which is often called dyspareunia for folks who have a vulva. If you have dyspareunia, you might

HAPPY EPISODE 200! If you want to enter to win one of 49 spots on the online live recording of Sex Gets Real, complete this little entry form. Must be 18 or over to enter and be available March 22nd at 5pm PT/8pm ET. A random selection will be made on March 10th & winners will be notified via email. And Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is all about being heartbroken and how to deal with the tears & the pain. I also want to hear about how you've navigated heartbreak. Did you eat ice cream in your PJs and cry over romcoms? Did you go out with friends and have revenge sex? If you're a Patreon supporter at $3 and above, you can tune in and weigh in. So what's up for this episode? You all have been sending me some TERRIFIC questions lately, and I was eager to dive in. Aussie Gal wrote in from Australia with some love and delight. Satisfied Slippery Slut went to She Bop in Portland after hearing it mentioned on a previous episode and had a lovely experience. Let's all support feminist sex shops! They'

Formidable Femme, aka Sarah B Holliday, is here this week talking about sex toy companies, the ethics of selling sex toys, rejecting the perfect survivor narrative, healing from trauma, plus we field a listener question about abuse. Sarah is deeply committed to changing the way the sex toy industry operates, and she has loads of ideas about what makes for an ethical company in this field and where companies often fail. Let's stop gendered toys and the marketing we use to promote them and instead center marginalized identities and bodies to make sex and pleasure truly inclusive. We also discuss Sarah's terrific advice to sex toy companies, plus a few books for navigating trauma including "The Body Keeps the Score" and "Healing Sex." You'll also want to check out our bonus chat on Patreon all about pleasure as revolution, as liberation, and resistance. I mean, if masturbating means we're giving a big F you to the sex negative oppressive world, who are we to deny ourselves the pleasure? Patreon supporters at the

Welcome to this week's episode of listener questions! And Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is me reading you a little queer erotica. Go listen now! First up, Love All of Him sent an update. Find out what happened after they followed my advice and what lead to them having PIV sex for the first time. Leo from Scotland wrote in. He's had digestive issues for a few years and now his butthole is kind of saggy. He feels ashamed and doesn't know what to say to potential partners. Internalized ableism sucks. The good news is most people have no idea what buttholes look like, so let's about genital diversity and sharing vulnerable stuff about our bodies. Soldier0510 is a service member stationed in South Korea with a wife back home in the US. She asks about keeping the heat burning while long distance, especially since they are both new and curious and BDSM dynamics. In addition to loads of recommendations about long distance kink and power dynamics, I also suggest a few books including "The Ultimate Guide to Se

Talking to other sex educators, researchers, and experts is one of my favorite things in life, especially when the conversations are rich, personal, nuanced, and challenging. I met Cavanaugh Quick through O.School (where we both live stream sex ed for free), and the first time I saw Cavanaugh talk about feminist porn, I knew I wanted to have them on the show. This episode is incredibly beautiful and real. From the reality of being awkward to practicing being aroused in public, from consent and non-verbal body cues to kink and getting your first vibrator, Cavanaugh offers a warm, kind, thoughtful perspective that feeds my soul. You'll also want to check out our bonus chat on Patreon all about using techniques Cav learned for managing chronic pain to induce pain during sadistic kink play. SO FUN. Patreon supporters at the $3 level and above get access, so head over and listen. patreon.com/sgrpodcast If you want to grab my latest workshop on ethical porn and how to use porn in your relationship or any of my othe

What do butt play, pegging the patriarchy, non-sexual Dominance & submission, strap-ons, and sex clubs have in common? Why, Luna Matatas, of course. She is joining me this week to talk about all the delicious, yumminess that is kink and pleasure. As a fellow O.School Pleasure Professional (check out her Fuck Like a Goddess weekly live stream), she loves talking about sex club etiquette, anal and how to seduce the anus, pee play, and strap-ons. We go all the places, plus we field a few listeners questions while we're at it. Plus, we have a yummy bonus chat all about piss play exclusively for Patreon supporters. Not yet a supporter of the show? Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast to join the fun. If you want to grab my latest workshop on ethical porn and how to use porn in your relationship or any of my other online courses and workshops, you can check that out at dawnserra.com/courses. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Luna Matatas: Luna Matatas is a se

Mona Darling is here to talk all things kinky. As a former pro Dominatrix with over 20 years of experience dominating folks in the kinkiest of ways, she has some fantastic advice on how to get started in kink, the skills most people overlook that actually make kink juicy and meaningful, and how to find your inner Domme if you're just getting started. She has a new kinky activity book that's soon to be published and helps me field listener questions on how to do punishments and rewards in a 24/7 dynamic and also for newbie Daddy/Little Girl dynamics. It's a fun, kink-tastic chat. Plus, we have a yummy bonus chat exclusively for Patreon supporters. Not yet a supporter of the show? Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast to join the fun. Psst - looking for more details on working with me? Check out my coaching details now! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Mona Darling: Mona Darling is a former professional dominatrix who now teaches women and couples to discove

If you're looking for a unique way to kick of 2018, check out all of my online workshops and DIY goodies. They can make amazing gifts and they're all around $5-30 each. Pop over and see what's available now. Happy New Year! This is dropping on New Year's Eve 2017, so let's shuffle 2018 in in style. I got myself a gift of a new vibrator. I'll be reporting back with my thoughts over on Patreon for supporters there. You can support the show, too! On to listener questions! A listener wrote in saying her hottest fantasy is having her boyfriend fuck another woman. But, there's a catch. She is super jealous and doesn't think she can handle it in real life. What can she do? Patreon supporters Cadessa and Seductive Verse have lovely advice about taking it in stages, and then I add on my thoughts. Sometimes fantasies are just that - fantasies. Ideas and scenes meant to fuel our arousal and desire. If we want to make our fantasies into a reality, we can do that slowly and with lots of support, especially if we're scared

If you're looking for a last minute holiday gift or you want to start your 2018 with a bang, don't forget you can grab my online on-demand workshops now! From porn to anal, from games to relationship charters, you'll find all sorts of fun, inviting goodies to help you level up. Want to hear my mini round-up of things I loved in 2017? Head to Patreon and support the show. You can hear exclusive content, including my own recap of the year when you support at any level. On to this week's show! JoEllen Notte is here to talk about her favorite things of 2017, as well as some of the tips and ideas she explored around sex, depression, and resentment. We talk about her love affair with the Doxy wand vibrator, how she decides what makes her Favorite Things list, why we both hate the phrase "porn for women", and why depression isn't really the relationship killer that so many people think that it is.  We also answer a few listener questions. Is it weird to hate touching your genitals? Is there a wrong way to use a bull

Don't forget to grab 25% off your RXBAR order at RXBar.com/sgr using promo code SGR at checkout. They've generously sponsored this week's episode. Perfect little delicious snacks for your post-sex nibbles. Also, if you're looking for a unique holiday gift, check out all of my online workshops and DIY goodies. They can make amazing gifts and they're all around $5-30 each. Pop over and see what's available now. And away we go... Brandon wrote in because he used to find it super hot to spy on girls, like the scene in the movies Porky's. But now, as a father and adult, he finds it creepy and repulsive. What gives? Kev is lost and needs guidance and acceptance. He thought he was straight, but just started having sex with men and now he can't get enough. He wants to end up with a wife and kids, but he isn't sure if he's gay or bisexual. Is there a way to find a queer woman he can test things out with? I have lots of feelings about the homophobia in this message, and I also have thoughts about the need to find a lab

My porn workshop, Hands Down: A Workshop on How Porn Can Heal, Connect, and Be Ethical, is now streaming. Check out the details at dawnserra.com/porn. Let's talk about the porn! Here's that funny article I was giggling over called, "20 Things Guys Have Actually Said to Me In Bed." Now, on to your questions. Brittany wrote in seeking sexy kink events near her. The best place to go for kink events is Fetlife.com. You'll want to keep an eye out for munches and conferences. Because Brittany is in Massachusetts, she might also want to check out The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Rhode Island for workshops. Plus, Joellen Notte lists Oh My! Sensuality Shop and Good Vibrations in Massachusetts on her superhero sex shop map. Basically, any feminist sex shop will have classes and workshops that could be a fun way to meet folks. A listener wrote back with an update. They found a friend to watch them have sex and it's turned into a fun threesome situation. Yay! Jen wrote in because apparently there was a shit-s

Did you hear last week? CrashPad Series is sponsoring the Explore More Summit: Bodies Edition. It's free and online, so sign-up today. We'll spend 5 days going super deep into body politics, self acceptance, fat activism, diet culture, weight stigma, and shedding body shame so we can center our pleasure. To see the line-up for the summit and to enroll, pop over to exploremoresummit.com. And if you want to see a VERY HOT scene with April and Milcah, head to CrashPadSeries.com and join today. This week, Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg are here! Which means it's basically an hour of me laughing hysterically. We talk about their new sex podcast, American Sex, and some of the guests they've had - like the grapefruit lady and a guy whose fetish is death and sex. Ken talks about how his relationship to kink has changed due to some health concerns, and Sunny talks about menopause and her libido. We also answer listener questions about pubic hair and fisting. Ken even wows with the history of the merkin.  Looking

I am so excited. CrashPad Series is sponsoring the Explore More Summit: Bodies Edition AND they sent me an exclusive audio clip of April Flores and Milcah filming a recent scene. You can hear the juicy details in the show this week. HEAR THE PORN!  If you want to hear more from April about porn and fat sex, she's speaking at the summit which starts December 4th. It's free and online, so sign-up today! We'll spend 5 days going super deep into body politics, self acceptance, fat activism, diet culture, weight stigma, and shedding body shame so we can center our pleasure. To see the line-up for the summit and to enroll, pop over to exploremoresummit.com. And if you want to see the VERY HOT scene with April and Milcah, head to CrashPadSeries.com and join today. This week, Barbara Carrellas joins me to talk all about tantra. Her incredible, inclusive book, "Urban Tantra" just celebrated it's 10 year anniversary by releasing an updated 2nd edition. The new edition includes tantra for asexual/aromantic folks and an

Two things! Sign-up for the Explore More Summit: Bodies Edition at exploremoresummit.com. It's free and kicks off December 4th. Prepare to be challenged and cracked open. My porn workshop, Hands Down: A Workshop on How Porn Can Heal, Connect, and Be Ethical, is now enrolling. Check out the details at dawnserra.com/porn. Let's talk about the porn! Now, on to your questions. GR wrote in asking how porn stars and people in non-monogamous relationships protect themselves. How does safe sex work with multiple partners? It's such an important question. Ultimately, it depends on each of us. We all have different needs, different requirements around risk and prevention, so the answer is really all in how you negotiate it with a partner. The most important this is to remember we always default to the person who wants MORE protection. If you don't want to use their level of protection, then you either don't engage with them or you limit your activities, but we NEVER try to talk someone out of what they need for their p

Don't forget, the Explore More Summit: Bodies Edition kicks off December 4th and it's totally free. We'll spend 5 days going super deep into body politics, self acceptance, fat activism, diet culture, weight stigma, and shedding body shame so we can center our pleasure. To see the line-up and to enroll, pop over to exploremoresummit.com. This week, Jaclyn Friedman is here to talk all about her new book, "Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power, and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All." It is a powerful, comprehensive examination of all the ways our ideas about sex intersect with things like media, racism, justice, toxic masculinity, patriarchy. Basically, all my favorite topics wrapped up into one. We geek out about why sexual olympics and hedonism will NOT set everyone free. What it means to have "fauxpowerment" around our sexuality and why individualistic solutions aren't going to heal the world. We talk about Hugh Hefner (ugh), the ways doctors fail us, Jaclyn's visit to a sex research lab and what the vagi

First up, I am so excited to announce the Explore More Summit: Bodies Edition. It kicks off December 4th and it's totally free. We'll spend 5 days going super deep into body politics, self acceptance, fat activism, diet culture, weight stigma, and shedding body shame so we can center our pleasure. To see the line-up and to enroll, pop over to exploremoresummit.com. Also, I am taking new coaching clients, so if you're at a point where you want to unpack some shame, get unstuck, or ask for some personalized advice, head to dawnserra.com. This week we are talking about technology, innovation, and sex education. Andrea Barrica is here, the founder of O.School. She has long been in the tech industry, working with the titans in Silicone Valley, and it's clear that the internet is not designed for sex education or for safety. Andrea is on a mission to change that. She wants people to have a harassment-free, trauma-informed place to access sex education that is real, powerful, and available anywhere in the world. We

Your questions have been pouring in. And of course, if you want to practice being the sexpert, folks who support the show on Patreon at $10 get to offer their advice for the show, too. So, where are we going this week? Emma has been seeing someone for a few years who keeps disappearing and ignoring her. They have amazing chemistry and great sex, so what can she do about the way he behaves?  The truth is the way he's behaving is abusive and all about control and manipulation, and not at all about honoring this relationship. I dive into the why and how of what I think Emma should do next. Maddy and another listener both wrote in recently asking for help about how to raise sex positive kids. I have a bunch of resources to share from books to websites and big concepts that I think set us up for more success as teens and adults. Also, Nadine Thornhill talked about this on episode 109 of the show. Check that out, too. Because kids and sex is about more than just condoms and STIs. It's about emotional intelligence,