You Can't Handle The Truth

Bounce with us, slide with us, etc., as we revisit one of the biggest summer blockbusters of the '90s! Sure, we all loved MEN IN BLACK when it hit theaters, but how does it hold up after a quarter-century, several mediocre sequels and ... let's just say recent events? One thing is for sure: D'Onofrio is the best. There's a lot of qualified opinions in this week's recommendations, so you'll have to  listen. But Sean loved DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE whatsit, so there's that — oh, and Robin is just all about AMBULANCE.

For 4,000 years, an evil mummy has waited! For 40 years, no one has bothered to watch this movie! Yet here we are, revisiting the 1980 Halloween-weekend (maybe) winner THE AWAKENING, where Charlton Heston ... doesn't ever really settle down on any particular course of action, vis a vis mummies. This week's recommendations: EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE! Tony Hawk doc UNTIL THE WHEELS FALL OFF! And portions of BEN-HUR!

Happy Rex Manning Day, friends! EMPIRE RECORDS was ... absolutely not the number one movie in America, but on this day, we are throwing out the rules! Say no more, mon amour!

It's a titan of '90s cinema with one of the most memorable, and harrowing, sequences of all time. Will we find things to complain about? Oh, we certainly will! On the other hand, it's a hell of a lot better than Black Hawk Down! Listen to us square off with the greatest generation (we're sorry)! And we recorded this before the Oscars, so you'll have to wait for our lukewarm Will Smith reactions! It's a packed week for recommendations, but some key praise goes to TURNING RED, SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME and X!

Oh boy, this is a can of worms. So BLACK HAWK DOWN was a pretty massive hit, and it arrived at a ... sensitive time. Which ... you know what, just listen, we're not going to get into the geopolitics in the episode description. But, you know, great special effects and early-'00s hunks! So there's that! This week's recommendations: Robin recommends ROBIN ROBIN (seriously, look it up on Netflix). Sean likes FRESH, THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE and SAINT MAUD, and is torn on THE BATMAN. Kahmeela's on a TV kick, and thinks you should watch WORST ROOMMATE EVER and INVENTING ANNA.

It's the barely feature length cartoon that jerked more tears than every Nicholas Sparks movie combined! THE LAND BEFORE TIME traumatized and entertained (citation needed) a generation of VHS-capable millennials; is it any good, or was it mostly just a grim harbinger of inevitable death? This week's recommendations: Kahmeela has mixed feelings about SCREAM but very positive ones about TED LASSO. Sean doesn't care about UNCHARTED but is mildly pleased with DEATH ON THE NILE. And Robin is in full Oscars mode, praising CODA and PARALLEL MOTHERS (kinda).

Bruce Willis is a sperm! Then, eventually, a baby! The whole time, he's Bruce Willis! Let's not dive too deep into the implications — except for the tawdry Hollywood story behind LOOK WHO'S TALKING, because we are definitely diving into that one. This light comedy was a smash hit in 1989; uhh, why? Plus, endorsements for JACKASS FOREVER, THE LAST DUEL and that one Netflix series that would get us flagged if we shared the title! You know the one, maybe!

Vroom! Punch! Beer! Butt rock! Yes, long before it became James Bond but with Dubstep, The Fast Saga began as THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. (Not Fast and Furious, that's a different movie.) When you take away all the supermagnets and space cars and Charlize Therons and just have some kids and some cars, is it still a high-octane thrill ride? Or is it limp and disappointing, like The Fast and the Furious ride at Universal? This week's recommendations: Kahmeela likes THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE. Robin likes SPENCER, and also the latest VENOM caper. Sean gives a qualified endorsement to SCREAM (you know, the fifth one. 5CREAM.)

Keanu Reeves teaches some kids about baseball and character (not really), while those kids teach Keanu about life (also not really) in HARDBALL! This baseball (?) movie (?) went to number one at ... something of an odd moment; is it a hidden gem, or a rightly forgotten dud? This week's recommendations: Kahmeela is all in on ENCANTO. Robin's reigning Best Movie of 2021 is THE LOST DAUGHTER. Sean had a weird week and wants you to watch the gonzo 1983 folk horror EYES OF FIRE.

We're wrapping our yuletide observance into one double-feature episode with a Christmas-ish hit and a seasonal classic! First, Marvel's most eggnog-adjacent picture, IRON MAN 3, sends Tony Stark to a small-town Christmas (and a bunch of other places). Then, slap on a rabbit suit and try not to get soap poisoning, it's A CHRISTMAS STORY! This week's recommendations: Kahmeela is all wrapped up in the series YELLOWJACKETS. Sean and Robin both liked WEST SIDE STORY, and Sean adds an endorsement for THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH.

Monsters University, a movie absolutely no one remembers occurring, somehow made hundreds of millions of dollars. It did better than a bunch of Pixar movies people actually like (Coco AND Ratatouille)! So ... what's going on with this latter-day collegiate prequel? This week's recommendations: Sean and Robin both like POWER OF THE DOG, though predictably, Sean likes it more. Robin's all about the 1970 disaster classic AIRPORT. Kahmeela wants you to spend your Christmas with THE PREACHER'S WIFE.

It's our centennial! We've spent 100 episodes saying "what" and "really" about the box office champs of yesteryear, and it's all thanks to our patron saint: beloved character actor Tony Goldwyn. To thank him (please, someone let him know that we exist), we're taking a look back at his top-grossing movie, the megahit rom-com-spooky-dram, GHOST. Plus, in a very special 100th-episode airing of grievances, we each permanently eliminate one film from the database! Find out what movies we will NEVER review! This week's recommendations: Robin and Kahmeela have complicated feelings about KING RICHARD, Sean is quite fond of HOUSE OF GUCCI, and the HARDER THEY FALL love-fest continues!

A couple episodes ago, we wondered why we had never landed on a (main timeline) Star Wars movie. In a straight monkey's-paw situation, we landed on ATTACK OF THE CLONES! Whoops! Some people on the internet say this one is good; is that just some internet nonsense, or is there something redeeming about this marathon of CGI stew? This week's recommendations: Kahmeela is feeling good about THE HARDER THEY FALL and says why not take a look at the new PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. Sean likes SPENCER and LAST NIGHT IN SOHO. Robin surprised herself by really liking DUNE.

It's the reboot of the Texas Chainsaw franchise! Wait, no it isn't, that was in 2003. It's the sequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre! No, not the good one from 1986. It's ... look, it's a movie with Leatherface that (we're pretty sure) occurs in Texas, what more do you want? In the year 2013, the franchise got another installment based largely on the promise of the chainsaw popping out of the screen in three dimensions. Without that ... well, Trey Songz is here? That's something? This week's recommendations: Sean likes THE LAST DUEL, Robin recommends the classic ALL THAT JAZZ (and does not recommend Needle in a Timestack) and Kahmeela is still very much wrapped up in SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE. (The consensus on Halloween Kills is a spooky shrug.)

Let's explore why a spooky doll is spooky! Besides the fact that it looks terrifying. And that whole business with the murders in the first movie. And, honestly, we're not gonna get into the origin story all that much. We're mostly gonna creep and spook and jump-scare all day in ANNABELLE: CREATION, one of the most well-received entries in the Conjuring Universe, a thing that we're still doing for some reason! This week's recommendations: Sean likes LUCA. Other than that, it's pans, as the panel rejects DEAR EVAN HANSEN, MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK and MALIGNANT.

Remember Urban Legend? (Jared Leto doesn't.) Well, it got a sequel! And somehow, that sequel was the number one movie in America! We interrogate the baffling URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT, a movie about film school made by filmmakers who have no idea what happens at film school. By the way, we say early on that we're not going to spoil the movie, then we immediately and repeatedly spoil the movie, so be warned. (What: You were going to WATCH this one? Don't be silly.) Recommendations: Sean discovers that PLEASANTVILLE is a sneaky classic, Kahmeela says SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE is good enough to make it worth the turmoil, and Robin, unsurprisingly, enjoyed the Emmys.

A short, short time from now, on a planet not that far away, Matt Damon made potatoes out of poop! And it got seven Oscar nominations! THE MARTIAN was a runaway hit, despite being neither scientifically inaccurate or sad (the two things that usually make space movies work). Will it hold up all these ... six-ish years later? This week's recommendations: Kahmeela gives a cool recommendation to CANDYMAN, but is still probably going to watch it multiple times. Robin came close to loving CRUELLA and recommends you go way back for THE FORTUNE COOKIE. Sean reminds you to go even farther back for SOME LIKE IT HOT, and just does not know what to do with MALIGNANT.

Robin got to pick a movie! And ... it's Sahara? She tells us why she loves this lovable scamp of an mid-aughts, McConaughey-ridden adventure flick — and, while Sean and Kahmeela can't quite match her enthusiasm, they can't be too grumpy about a movie this wacky! This week's recommendations: Sean's big on THE GREEN KNIGHT and CANDYMAN. Kahmeela endorses Netflix's UNTOLD series. And Robin likes the Blockbuster board game!

A year removed from our first showdown with these ... TURTLES, we revisit the first of the shelled superheroes' seven number-one hits. The original, foam-suited, grit-soaked, Feldman-voiced version of the iconic quartet is the most fondly remembered. Is it any good, though? Plus, in this week's recommendations: Kahmeela likes the Netflix animated flick VIVO. Robin was pleased to find that MEMENTO holds up. And Sean liked THE NIGHT HOUSE, but viewer beware!

It's one of those classic New York stories: Boy meets girl, girl is a cartoon princess, various rodents get involved, there's a dragon. It's ENCHANTED, one of Disney's biggest live-action hits and a career highlight for perennial Oscar bridesmaid Amy Adams! With a sequel on the way, is this one a lovable lark or a best-forgotten mess?