Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality From A Christian Perspective

SWM 132 - Breast implants and body image issues. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.This episode I'm answer a question I received back in February that I forgot to answer. Here's the question:Hi! To start, I just wanted to say thank you so much for what you do! Your podcast has been immensely eye-opening and helpful! Now, to my question.I am in my 30s, and my husband and I have been together for 15 years. There was porn use by my husband that nearly tore us apart, but after therapy, support groups and endless prayer, I am so thankful to say we are stronger than ever, and he has been porn free for over a year now. It has made a profound difference in our sex life, we feel more connected than ever.That being said, internally, I am still struggling with body image issues. It is not all-consuming but it’s enough to bring me to this point. I have been considering breast augmentation for years now but kept putting it on the back burner due to pregnancy and breastfeeding (we have 3 children).

SWM 131 - Tips to fight more effectively in your marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.Last week, I shared a list of ideas our Couple’s Night group had that helped build a resilient marriage. At the end of the call, we still had some time and started discussing fighting more effectively. Again, the group came up with some excellent ideas I want to share today.Because fights will happen, I might even say they should happen.  When I come across a couple that doesn’t fight in any way - that’s a red flag.  It means one or both don’t feel safe in the marriage.  They aren’t able to express their views and opinions. Because if you put two people together for long enough, they will eventually find something to disagree about.Ideally, a fight won’t involve yelling, screaming, hitting, throwing, or anything else like that, but it’s okay to quarrel.So, today, we will discuss how to fight more effectively in your marriage so that your arguments can be a source of growth instead of damage.For m

SWM 130 - Building Resiliency in Marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.On the first Tuesday of every month, Chris from TheLionWithin.us and I co-host "Couple's Night."  Couples from our communities get together to talk about marriage. We discuss struggles, share ideas, tips, and a lot of funny stories. It's an absolute blastThis Tuesday, we got together and talked about resiliency in marriage. There were about six couples in the Zoom call, and I thought they all had a lot of wisdom to share, so I tried to quickly take some notes and thought I'd relay them to you.Because marriages need resiliency, we're going to face struggles. They might be external, like events happening with your job, your family, your friends, and more. They might be internal, such as the type of struggles two individuals face when you put them together for long periods of time for years on end.Challenges are normal, but we need to learn how to face them and not only survive them but, ideally, thrive and grow th

April 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:Can Christians be swingers?Chastity devicesSex and orgasm headachesWife only wants one oral sex position, which he hatesWorried about staminaTrying to spice things upHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast:Becoming more sexually engaged (course)System Jo flavoured lube (shop)Our Sexploration List (resource)Our Sexploration List (sample)Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and TwitterIf you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.Thank you to all our faithful champions!If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone el

SWM 128 - Marriages require recalibration. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.There’s an old quip about how men get married expecting their wives to stay the same, and women get married expecting to be able to change their men, and neither gets what they want. It’s funny because often, there’s an element of truth to this, which frustrates both spouses.Of course, it doesn’t apply to every marriage, and sometimes the dynamic is reversed, but what is expected of every marriage is that something in the marriage will change.  It may be the wife, it may be the husband, it’s likely going to be both in some ways, and it’s also going to be your surroundings and context.  You’ll get pets, you’ll have kids, you’ll move, you’ll change jobs, change churches, experience illness or injury, suffer losses or experience big wins - whatever it is, things will change.Those changes require a recalibration of the marriage, communication, and a discussion about what it means, what needs to change, and what shou

March 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:Why am I not interested in sexy any more after having a baby?How do I get my wife to rest without guilt?Why does my wife dismiss my advice when she asks for it?How do I get my wife engaged in sexual growth?Are men infatuated with their ejaculate?Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:Where did my sex drive go?Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and TwitterIf you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.Thank you to all our faithful champions!If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive

SWM 126 - Unspoken nuances of understanding. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.Marriage is a cosmic tapestry, a constellation of souls woven into the fabric of time, where vows echo in the heart's language, shaping a journey of shared whispers and laughter. It's a dance of compromise and compassion, a symphony where individual melodies blend into a shared harmony, with time sculpting the narrative of a joint odyssey. Amidst life's tempests, love's resilience is tested, forging a bond that transcends the ephemeral, painting a portrait of unity where intimacy bridges solitude, and shared dreams color the canvas of existence.Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and TwitterIf you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.Thank you to all our faithful supporters!If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference.Lastly, if you like our podcast, click he

SWM 125 - Rethinking Duty Sex. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.I've had a lot of conversations with couples as well as husbands and wives individually lately about what often gets called "duty sex" or "pity sex." For those who don't know, duty/pity sex is when one spouse gives in to sex, not because they desire it themselves, but because their spouse does. They might have sex for many reasons, including feeling obligated, pressured, guilty, to keep the peace or to "get them off their back."The problem is that these negative reasons are often the only ones considered, and so any situation in which one spouse wants sex and the other agrees to it without having an internal desire of their own is seen as unfavourable.But there are some excellent reasons to have what's commonly considered "duty sex" or "pity sex," and often, the conflicts I see in marriages are not that it's because of those reasons I mentioned above but instead about something positive and loving.So, in this podcast episod

SWM 124 - My daughter's speech - A vaccine against the epidemic of transgenderism. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.Today I've got something a bit different than the usual fare. Last year, for our 100th episode, I had my eldest daughter present her 4H speech as I felt it fit the scope of this blog. This year, she wrote a part 2. She won at her local club, and placed second at districts. So, we thought we'd record a version for the podcast again. Rather than give away any of the speech, I'll just let you read it. If you do want to go back you can read the first speech here.Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and TwitterIf you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.Thank you to all our faithful supporters!If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference.Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others kno

January and February 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:The monthly masturbation challengeHow do I make anal sex enjoyable for her?Periods and vacations and sexAging and orgasm strugglesHow do I know if I’m in right?Does fantasizing about my husband make it a shared experience?Condoms for handjobsResources for newlywed virginsHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast:FullyLiving.com Marital Mastery Virtual WebinarBecoming more sexually engaged Webinar (for wives)Is it okay to engage in pegging in marriage?Do Christians have sex during their period?Can you have sex during your period?Christians, anal sex and anal playThe DivaCup and why I love it (by my wife Christina)Our Sexploration ListThe Limon by MinnaLife (sex toy - bullet, rumbly and quiet - on a rediculous sale and the last of their stock)SWM 082SWM 085Intended for pleasure - Ed and Gaye Wheat (book)Married Sex - Gary Tho

SWM 122 - How to make your spouse more attractive to you. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.If you look online, you can find tons of videos, articles, podcasts, products and more about how to make yourself more attractive to your spouse or potential partners. I mean, it's everywhere. You can also find resources to help you make your spouse more attractive by changing them. What you don't see much of, though, are resources to help you change your mindset to make them seem more attractive to you without changing them.We all know the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," but rarely, if ever, is it used to recognize that you, as the beholder, can change what you're attracted to.Upcoming Events:Marriage Mastery Virtual Summit - I'm speaking at 3pm EST on March 9th, 2024 about why you should have a varied sexual repertoireBecoming more sexually engaged webinar - for Christian wivesResources:37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sexOur Sexploration List - SampleFollow us on

SWM 121 - Why marriage should be hard work. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.I made a post on social media some time ago saying, “Marriage is hard, divorce is hard, choose your hard,” and someone asked me if I then disagreed with some other bloggers and podcasters who say that marriage is and should be easy.  This post expands on what I wrote in response to that question.There is a trend these days to water down Christianity and make it easy.  In the times of the early church, being a Christian meant persecution, possibly even death, and they still willingly took on that challenge.  These days, people want Christianity to be comfortable and easy. We see many churches that are more social clubs than ministries, many pastors who are eloquent speakers but not doers of the faith, and many teachers who scratch those itching ears by telling you that being a Christian should be easy and comfortable.For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desi

SWM 120 - How you may be making your birth control methods ineffective. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.A few years ago, I was talking to a client during a coaching call, and we got off on a bit of a tangent about condom use. I explained a few ways that people tend to lower the protection of condoms when they use them. He was, well, shocked because he'd done many of them and had no idea that every time he did that, he was increasing the chance of conception.And so, I've had this post idea on the back burner for quite a while until last week, when I mentioned in response to an anonymous question that if you don't want kids, you shouldn't have sex because even condoms and birth control are not perfectly effective when used correctly - and most people don't know they're not using them correctly.When I posted that, one of our supporters asked if I could write that post, so here we go, because, well, my supporters do so much for me, I'm happy to help them out.In this post, I'm only talking

Topics include: How do you use a vibrator? Is roleplaying marriage a sin? Will a dildo make me unsatisfied with my husband? Wife makes excuses about everything When to start talking to your kids about sex? Wife caught me watching porn Is masturbation without porn a sin?

The traditional wedding vows go something like "I take you to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live." Unfortunately, I don't remember my wedding vows. I remember picking some. I remember memorizing them. I remember reciting them, from memory, during the wedding, despite having the flu and a fever. But nearly 23 years later, I don't remember what they were. I'm sure they contained something like "in sickness and in health," though. This past month, we got to test those vows.

Well, it’s winter here, which means cold and flu season.  So, of course, the last couple of weeks, it’s been rolling through our family of 7.  Christina and I were the last to get it, and it seemed I got it worse than her.  She complained about being sick but still working out multiple times daily (playing Supernatural on the VR - in case any others are fans).  For me, I was barely making it through my desk job and not making it some days. But at night, we’d crawl into bed, and I was still interested in sex, I think more than usual even - her, not at all.  That made me wonder - what is it about being sick that makes me want sex more? Unfortunately, my head was too fuzzy to research or write an article; here we are, a week later, and I’m ready to tackle it.  So, let’s dig into being sick and sex and why some may want sex when they’re sick, and even more so when they’re sick.

Lately, I've noticed a trend on social media where famous creator couples make videos of the wife telling the husband that visitors are coming over and they need to prepare. In response, the husband goes and starts cleaning out the attic and crawlspace, going through keepsakes, and performing other tasks that do little to achieve the intended goal of getting ready for guests. Of course, they're doing it as a light-hearted joke, but it points to a common conflict in marriages - women often feel they have to ask for the same help repeatedly. Even in the non-hyperbole versions of these videos, the husband typically mows the lawn, cleans the driveway, and fixes issues in the front of the house, such as rewiring a light. In contrast, the wife worries about cleaning the house's interior and preparing food. Invariably, the wife gets upset that he's not helping with what she sees as important tasks. And in media, be it TV, movies, or social media, they all generally side with the wife. The joking videos mentioned ab

Topics include: Can I use a strap-on on my wife? My husband’s ex-girlfriend What’s a foreskin for?

I had a wife ask, "Sex should be a gift given freely, and if I don’t have veto power, am I really giving freely?" This is my response in light of 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 and the role model Jesus was for us dying on the cross.

Topics Include: A husband's changing orgasms Can widowers masturbate Husband won't stop masturbation habit Calling husband "daddy" Feeling guilty about initiating sex