The Terri Cole Show

My guest on today's episode is Connor Beaton, a leading men's work facilitator, speaker, teacher, and coach. But ladies, you might want to stick around because Connor offers plenty of insights into the inner working of men. His new book, Men's Work, is out January 31, and you can order it here: https://mantalks.com/book During our conversation, we chat about shadow work, the shadow self, and how you can integrate your shadow self into your life for more freedom. Halfway through, we change tracks as I ask Connor to share the latest research on men's addiction to pornography and how it can affect relationships. He candidly shares many of his own struggles in hopes of helping others. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/473 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells in your relationship? Do you worry that anything you say (or don’t say) might set your partner off? Do you work overtime to avoid doing or saying anything that will upset them but still somehow fail?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, today’s episode is for you. I’m unpacking the signs and symptoms of walking on eggshells, describing what that phrase looks and feels like IRL, and giving you ideas of what you can do to break this exhausting cycle. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/472 This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at rocketmoney.com/terri. Seriously, it could save you hundreds of dollars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest today is Hailey Magee (@haileypaigemagee on Instagram, which is where I found her), a certified coach, educator, and writer who helps individuals set empowered boundaries and break the people-pleasing pattern. It's no surprise I loved her content the moment I saw it, and I had to have her on the show so she could share her unique perspective.  We chat all about setting boundaries with and on social media, the nuance of boundaries (that social often doesn't allow the space for), figuring out whether to break off a friendship, and so much more. I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/471 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you think that people who are generally happy are simply born that way? That it is just in their nature to be glass half full types? I believe it is slightly more complex than that. As a psychotherapist with 25 years of experience, I can tell you that it is possible to purposely build habits that curate more happiness in your life. So if you could use a little more happiness, today’s episode is for you. I’m sharing my top happiness curating tips with you, along with the mindset you can adopt if you want to experience more joy in your life. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/470 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am so happy to have best-selling authors Lisa Garr and Marci Shimoff on the show to talk all about miracles and happiness habits. I look to both of these women for inspiration during tough times and they never fail to deliver.  Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/469 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you settling in your life?  In your relationships? In your career? Maybe in a friendship or a family situation?  If you feel like you are settling for less than you actually want, for any reason, then this episode is for you. I share a few telltale signs you might be settling for less, a few examples of when I settled in the past, and what to do if you no longer want to settle. Because you deserve so much more, my friend.  Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/468 This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at rocketmoney.com/terri. Seriously, it could save you hundreds of dollars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am so excited to welcome my pal Steven Washington to the show. His new book, Recovering You: Soul Care and Mindful Movement for Overcoming Addiction, is full of inspiration, accessible tips, and beautiful stories. It's honestly for anyone, not just those who are overcoming addiction. In this conversation, Steven and I chat about his journey from addicted and numbing to feeling and moving, the tools he used to stay sober, and why his dharma is all about mindful movement. I hope you enjoy it. Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/467 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When something bad happens to someone you dislike, do you feel a little glee inside? Maybe a lot of glee?  Or do you cheer when the villain in a movie or TV show gets what’s coming to them?  There is a German word for the feeling of joy we get from the suffering or misfortune of others: schadenfreude.  The other day, I wondered: is there an opposite of schadenfreude? There is, and it’s called freudenfreude. This is when you find joy in the success and happiness of others. (It’s an English word created from a German word where “freuden” means “joy.”)  Today’s episode is all about why we experience schadenfreude, its high cost, and how to find real happiness in the joy of others. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/466 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I’m welcoming back frequent guest Andrea Owen to chat about the new edition of her book, How to Stop Feeling Like Shit: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back from Happiness. We talk about aging well, not allowing shame to control us, and recognizing the importance of our own feelings. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/465 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you feel about New Year’s resolutions?  Do you like them? Do they work for you? Or… do you get to February and realize you’ve barely made progress on them?  If you aren’t a fan of New Year’s resolutions, you are not alone. Only 8% of people keep their New Year’s resolutions, and nearly 80% fail by February.  Not great odds.  That’s why today’s episode contains a therapeutically designed process to help you unpack 2022, honor your experiences, and understand your growth so you have clarity on the changes you want to make for 2023.  It’s my favorite sacred ritual to start the new year as it leaves me energized and clear about what’s ahead. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/464 This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at rocketmoney.com/terri. Seriously, it could save you hundreds of dollars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you been wondering recently whether your substance use is normal? Do you find yourself drinking more than you would like, smoking every day, or taking gummies every night to help you sleep? How do you tell when using substances to cope with the circumstances of life becomes a problem?  If you have been asking these questions, you’re not alone. Recently, so many of my listeners have been writing to me with questions just like that.  I invited today’s guest, sober coach and friend Patty Powers, so that I can ask her all of the questions about substances that you have been asking me. Not only is she a friend who I have worked with professionally for many years, Patty was also the one who helped a very dear family member of mine when they relapsed.  Listen to today’s episode to get some clarity: When does substance use become substance abuse? And what can you do to support healing if you recognize problematic substance use in yourself or a loved one? Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/4

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who uses fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you into doing what they want?  Or are you in that kind of relationship right now?  Then this episode on emotional blackmail is for you. I break down what emotional blackmail is and how to spot it so you can avoid being a victim of this painful, dysfunctional, abusive cycle. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/462 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is super special because I’m talking to my very own friend and strategist, Camper Bull. Back when I was promoting the Boundary Boss book, I was skeptical that working with a strategist would make a difference. When one of my team members recommended I meet with Camper, I was blown away by his expertise and ability to hold space and make it accessible.  Camper worked with my team for 6 months to help us understand what it takes to run a successful book launch. In our interview, he shares some of the secrets to his own success– Plus, we chat about some of the changes that have helped Team TC run so much more smoothly since I started working with Camper!  Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/461 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever confided in someone you wanted comfort from only to be told… “It could be worse.” “At least it wasn’t X, Y, or Z!” “Look on the bright side…” “I don’t know why you are making such a big deal…” These are all examples of emotional invalidation. Maybe you’ve even said these things to others, unintentionally invalidating them. This is common if we're high-functioning codependents and other people's distress causes us distress. But even if your heart is in the right place, emotional invalidation can damage your relationships. That’s why in today’s episode, I’m breaking down what emotional invalidation is, discussing why so many of us are emotional invalidators and offering ways to emotionally validate our loved ones so that we can strengthen our relationships. Read the show notes for this episode at terricole.com/460 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I am an empath and a highly sensitive person. That’s why I was so excited to speak with Alissa Boyer, a mentor who coaches highly sensitive people on their journeys to spiritual growth and greater self love. We chat about how HSPs can be kind to themselves even when the world is set up to overwhelm them and how to avoid people-pleasing when you are sensitive to others’ desires. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/459 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel mentally exhausted? Foggy-brained? Forgetful? Like even doing the smallest task feels like moving through mud?  If so, cognitive fatigue could be to blame.  In this episode, I break down what cognitive fatigue is and what it might feel like. I also give you some ideas on what might cause cognitive fatigue and what you can do to start healing. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/458 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I first met today’s guest about 15 years ago, when she was first considering leaving her job as a top Hollywood agent to begin a more fulfilling career. Now, Dr. Elisa Hallerman is a successful drug and alcohol counselor who uses her PhD in Depth Psychology and Somatic Studies to inform her work with clients. She recently wrote her first book, Soulbriety: A Plan to Heal Your Trauma, Overcome Addiction, and Reconnect with Your Soul to help people who she wouldn’t be able to reach through her traditional practice alone. In today’s episode, I chat with Dr. Hallerman about how soul-centered healing has the potential to help everyone overcome trauma and addiction. Plus, a guide to understanding your own soul journey. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/457 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you’re in the heat of a fight do you have a tendency to explode or say things you don’t mean? Or do you withdraw in anger and become silent? Both of these reactions to conflict are very common communication-blocking techniques. Effective communication is something we hear a lot about but often I think the meaning is unclear.  In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the top 4 communication blockers + giving you sentence starters and scripts to help. You’ll learn what you can do to break these unhelpful behavior patterns and work towards actually solving conflict with effective communication instead. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/456 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever wonder what self-love actually is, not just in theory or in a meme, but in real-life practice? Self-love isn’t a destination or just a feeling. It’s daily action steps and more of a way of life.  In this episode, I’ll cover how we can organize and break down our behaviors and practices in a way that is moving us into more real self-love. I’ll also break down five paths to curate more self-love into your daily routines. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/455 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself stuck in conversation hell at a family gathering? Maybe you have a nosy aunt who loves asking you super personal questions you don’t want to answer. Or a cousin who manages to dump all their problems on you at every party. Enough! Let’s get you some strategies and scripts to create better conversational boundaries! You can keep these in your back pocket for if and when these awkward situations arise, so you can enjoy your family gatherings and avoid conversation hell! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/454 This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/TERRI and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then start your search for a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices