Who Goes There Podcast

Good morning, my sweet idiot children. This week, we're covering a brand spanking new movie just for you. No, you don't deserve it. In fact, with the way you have been behaving we shouldn't be giving you a damn thing. Have you ever sat there or your lazy ass, watching E.T. and thought, "yeah right. That alien would be destroying everything!"? If so, what the hell is wrong with you? But also, you're not wrong. For this reason we decided to see what happens when aliens stop being polite, and start being real. Please ensure your fupa is stowed securely in the overhead compartment; we're going to space! We hope you enjoy our visit with Psycho Goreman. Actually, we don't give a flying fuck what you think. But the review starts at 18:30. She was good for months... until she lost her head over the Who Goes There Podcast episode 295! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special giveaw

Buenos dias, tontos! Look, occasionally, we all make mistakes. Sometimes you leave the oven on when you leave the house. Perhaps you shake your protein drink without properly securing the lid. Here at the Who Goes There Podcast we also make mistakes. Granted we hardly ever make mistakes, but we do. This week we made a mistake and once again deal with the fallout from out generosity. Our very own resident android has celebrated his activation day, ad we decided to let him pick the movie we would review. In true Rhett fashion, he picked... well... he picked Angel Heart. (Review at 33:55) Yeah, I know, right? Tune in to see how that went. If you were a member of our patreon, today you would also be getting an episode on the 2004 gay slasher film Hellbent. That shit, that's good shit. Don't be a gazooney! It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 294! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandis

Hidey-ho, ya little dorks! By and large, the movies we review are chosen by Matt and Rhett, with occasional input from Patreon. When we ask Jorge for his input, his response is roughly the same at all times, "I really don't care. Just tell me what to watch." Being the thoughtful individuals we are, every so often we decide to pick a movie that we think might just stir a bit of excitement in the morose motherfucker. This week we review a film that watched every single action and sci-fi movie from the 80's and thought, "what happens if you put them all in a blender and let Rutger Hauer shit into the blender?" The answer, is Split Second. Yeah, you know where we're going: awkward sex, aliens, cheesy one-liners, and machismo oozing out the fundillo. With great talent comes a great desire for self-fuckability. Such is the Who Goes There Podcast episode 293! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merc

Are you ready, nerds? Because we're about to hurt a lot of feelings. That's right, it's time for our much beloved year in review episode! It's no secret to anyone that 2020 was an absolute dumpster fire. Can the same thing be said for horror films in 2020? We're counting down our own personal top and bottom 5 films of the year. When all is said and done the films shall battle to the death until only one stand atop the mountain declaring itself the best film of the worst year! Very little bullshit to go around, we're getting right into the meat and potatoes of things. Tune in next week when things get real stupid and we go back to the 90's for Split Second. If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special giveaways! Most importantly, you get to help us continue doing what we love. The Who Goes There Podcast is available to subscribe to on iTunes and Spotify. Not an iTunes user? You

Happy 2021, ya goofy dorks! New year, new you, right? Right, good luck with that. Any who, you may have come here expecting our highly anticipated year-in-review episode. Well, as a super fun reminder that all things shitty did not end with 2020, Matt's wife got covid. In the interest of safety we had to cancel that night's recording and reschedule. We feel the year in review episode absolutely needs to be recorded in person so we're pushing that episode to next week. This week we're squeezing in just one more film from 2020, a late entry, Shudder original called  Anything For Jackson (Review at 46:00) Unfortunately, this week's episode is a remote episode. However, we're fuckin podcasting professionals, so this shit sounds hella smooth! Next week we will be back, live with our year in review wrap up. So enjoy, you ungrateful swine! You can listen while you're on the treadmill at the gym, oh wait... I would do anything for Jackson, but I won't do that. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 291! If you e

Happy holidays, ya hoe hoe hoes! We hope you all had a joyous holiday season with all of your friends and family far away on a zoom call. Now that all the gifts have been opened and the food has been eaten everyone should have their happy tank full. We're here to end that shit right now. Why should 2020 end on a high note? Yeah, buddy! Get ready for every bit of your warm and fuzzy to turn into cold and prickly. If we don't end 2020 feelings as horrible as possible, then what was the point of all of it. With that in mind, we decided to cover one of the most misunderstood, most hated, and most divisive, feel-bad movies of all time, 1978's I Spit On Your Grave. (Review at 41:53) Congratulations. You are still alive. Most people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 290! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special giveawa

Aloha, ya silly goofs! We are now under two week away from the end of 2020. This year being one of the all around worst in human history, we thought it would be kind of fun to make you feel extra bad this month! Kind of like a reminder that things have always, and will continue to suck. This month we've covered some real feel-bad movies and we're saving the worst for last. This week we're featuring a 2011 film from the UK that really makes you feel like you need a shower at the end of it. That's right, we're talking about 2011's Kill List! (Review at 39:54) Buckets and buckets of blood, hunchbacks, cults, bizarre prophecies, this film is all over the place. Fear not, little ones, for we shall be your lighthouse among these treacherous tides. Let us guide your dinghy. Get ready for next week when we take on the grand-daddy of the rape revenge genre, 1978's I Spit on Your Grave! They took your wife away in a balloon? Well you don't need the police, pal, you need the Who Goes There Podcast episode 289! If y

Well hello there, my little dork asses. I hope this holiday season finds you well. We hope none of you are violating stay-at-home orders to hit the mall and spend money you don't have on gifts for people you don't like. This season really has a way of showing just how ugly people can be, don't you think? For this reason we decided to dedicate an entire month to films that really showcase the dark side of humanity. This week we bring you a film that proudly boasts that it was "banned from Amazon for being too extreme". Well, when that's the most exciting thing about a film, you know it's a doozy. This week, we'll be talking about 2020's The Mountain Kings. (Review at 45:19) It's a low budget, idiot-kids-film-murder-spree type of film in the vein of August Underground. You can watch the film for free on youtube. Rhett, you're gonna suffer on Saturday. We are a incestuous race. We can only make love with our own, otherwise we transform. And before we can become human again, we must kill.  It's the Who Goes T

Howdy-do there, little dorks! Boy, oh boy! Do we have a special treat for you? No. No, we don't have a special treat for you. What do you think this is?! I'll tell you what. I don't want you to have come all this way and leave empty handed. So here's what I'm going to do. For absolutely no charge, I'm going to give you our thoughts on 2020's Possessor. (Review at 39:55) How's that move ya, huh? It's written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg; his dad did The Fly, ya know. Not enough, huh? Well, the guys also read some kind words from iTunes, discuss some cool destructible board games, and a little spooky game called Love, Sam. Take it or leave it, pal! Ha! Ha! Ha! What a good story, Rhett. I think he's come to hurt everybody. I think he wants to do nasty things. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 287! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special giveaways! Most important

Hear, ye! Hear, ye! It is my honor and privilege to bring to you a decree from our gracious King Sam! Sam is exercising his power to choose a a film for us to review. As a result of his insanely generous spirit, His Highness only wants us to be happy, therefore he has chosen 1988's Uninvited as this week's episode! (Review at 37:00) Sam really does only want us to be happy, and usually he forgoes his choice in favor of "whatever makes (us) happy". However, in the rare occasion Sam gives us a film, it's usually a doozy! This is an insanely fun episode. We choked on laughter, choked on water, Rhett choked on D. I can tell you all the reasons you should listen to this, but realistically, no one reads this except for Rhett. Hi buddy. How are your quads? If the Jackal's out, screw the kid! It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 286! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special give

What's up, dorks?! More importantly, what's in the basket?! Would you believe me if I told you that it was the mangled body of my conjoined twin? Nah, I'm kidding; it's actually about 8 bottles of Boone's Farm. This week we continue to guide Rhett on his journey into the annals of horror history with a throwback episode! We're heading back to 1982 to look under the lid of Basket Case. (Review at 55:00) That's right folks, this movie came out the same year as The Thing. Just let that marinate. This may be your favorite movie, you may love or even hate what we have to say. Hell, we may only discuss the movie for two minute and spin into another rant about adrenochrome. The point is, we put out this episode and you should listen to it. Hey Rhett, I like that this is a secret little message area just for us. Good friends. Because I cut off his legs... and his arms... and his head... and I'm going to do the same to you if you don't put on the Who Goes There Podcast episode 285! If you enjoy the show, please

Hallo, idiote! We sure had a fun October, didn't we? We covered some legendary franchises for the first time in WGT history and fun was had by all. Well, all that shit stops here! If my fat fingers can stop hitting the wrong keys I would like to tell you about the shit show ahead of you. We love to have our friends on the show from time to time. What is the point of having a passion if you can't share it with those you love? Well, my friend Tom is back on the show, and we let Tom pick the movie. Tom likes bad movies. So we're doing Darkness Falls this week. To be fair, the selection of the film MAY have been the result of a Twitter misunderstanding. The point is, the haomie rolled through, we trash talked each other. We trash talked several movies. I'm pretty sure I've got a chair shot coming in the near future. Whoops. Hey, Rhett, when are you going to watch Riki-oh? I was promised seven bags of rice to turn you into mince meat and put you in a pie. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 284! If you

Captain's log, Day 420 - Middle of the Ocean I've been at sea so long that I can no longer remember the feeling of solid ground beneath my feet. Spirits are down and the crew is becoming more and more hostile. Last night our man in the crow's nest caught a case of the sea madness, began ranting about the presence of a Ghost Ship in our midst. We asked him if the ship itself were a ghost, or merely had ghosts upon it's decks. He couldn't tell us. Last week, ole' Cookie in the kitchen told a suspiciously similar tale, 'cept his tale had some Deep Rising sea creatures in it. You can read all about it starting at entry 36:16. I'm not fairing so well either. Last night I had a dream about a French, man-sized lobster named Jean Pierre who was looking for his girlfriend. I need sleep. Sue Ellen, every girl over twenty-five should have a cucumber in the house. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 283! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost o

Fröhliches Halloween, Idioten! Today is the day, the one day of the year all of us "spooky" folks live for: Halloween! We've had a lot of fun with our special episodes over the last month. It's been fun to take classic horror films down from their pedestals, dusting them off, and showcasing them against their modern counterparts. Some of you loved them, some of you sent us messages calling us dumb fucks. The point is, we don't care what you think. Hahahaha. This week, we're doing something a little special. Special just like our resident AI, Rhett, who for months has been doing his impression of a child constantly asking "are we there yet"? Except it was more like "Let's do the Hellraiser triology!" on repeat. So here we go, we did the first three Hellraiser films together, as a whole! (Review at 50:32) We have a special guest this week, Jorge's "cousin-in-law" Kyle The Ramen Boy joined us, and brought some special Halloween bowls from his company Blind Tiger Ramen. He came in thinking this was a profession

Bonjour, mes petits crétins! This may come as a surprise to some of you, in the 7+ years we've been doing this show we have never covered a Friday the 13th film! I know, right? But I guess the question would be: WHY haven't we covered Friday the 13th? Do we hate the films? Perhaps we think the films transcend review and speak for themselves? Maybe there's just like twenty bajillion horror movies and we just never got to it? Wh... why are you complaining?! It's here, now! Now, we've not only covered one, but two films in the franchise, and you're still not happy? Christ on a cracker, you're tough to please. I'm going to guess you're one of those that wants to just skip right to 34:24 to check out the review. Yeah, you seem like the type. On a side note, since Rhett is probably the only person that actually reads this I am going to say "saaaaaaah dude!" to Rhett. If anyone else reads this, do you like K-pop? I'm hella stoked for the new Twice record. Just putting that out there. Horror fans love K-pop. Do yo

This week we continue our special look at classic horror films and their modern remakes by taking a look at one of the most beloved horror franchises of all time: A Nightmare on Elm Street. The Wes Craven original had an entire generation of kids wetting themselves at the thought of taking a quick nap. The 2009 remake is one of the most universally disliked remakes in horror history. Does the original still hold up? Is the remake "really not that bad"? Do we laugh way too hard at our own stupid ass jokes? Tune in and find out, ya stupid goof! (Review starts at 46:46) I just can't take no pleasure in killing. There's just some things you gotta do. Don't mean you have to like it. Just like the Who Goes There Podcast episode 280! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special giveaways! Most importantly, you get to help us continue doing what we love. The Who Goes There Podcast i

"Old Magic, Old Ways, the Old Ones themselves often seem powerless in a new place." - Anne Cameron Dia duit, leathcheann! Last week, as a Halloween treat, we posted the first episode in a series of "original vs remake" episodes for The Hills Have Eyes. The response was so great for that episode that we decided to do another one! Actually, we'd already decided we were going to do these, but just play along. We chose the films we did because the originals are considered classics which had not been seen by some members of the show. This week we're talking 1978's Dawn of the Dead as well as it's 2004 remake. For Jorge and Rhett this was a first time viewing of the original. (Review starts at 40:00) Enjoy. This is normally where I pull a quote from a horror movie as a sign off. Not this week. I'm just gonna say it was nice knowing all of you. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 279! The Who Goes There Podcast is available to subscribe to on iTunes and Spotify. Not an iTunes user? You can listen on our Drea

Well hello, my sweet children. Welcome again to another October with your good friends at the Who Goes There Podcast. Since this is everyone's favorite time of the year we thought it might be fun to do something a little special. This October we decided to do some double header episodes where we review a horror classic and it's more modern remake! This week on the docket we have genetic mutations, nuclear mutations, men on fire, dead dogs, baby eating, and a whole bunch of really uncomfortable rape scenes. Need another hint? This week we're talking about The Hills Have Eyes, both the original and the remake! If that doesn't stand your little pecker on end, nothing will. All y'all's must be mutes, cause ya wouldn't be fuckin' with me, now would ya? It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 278! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost of a beer, you get bonus content, exclusive merchandise, and special giveaways! Most importantly, you get to he

Guess who's back, back again. It's we, it's we, it's the W.G.T.P.! Lately we've been doing a lot of episodes on films based in space, and films with a lot of cut, cut, stabby, stab. Too much sameness makes things no super good. Pretty sure Lincoln said that. Any who, we're doing something a little different this week, maybe a little bit of ghosts, some possession, a dash of insanity. You know, the usual. That's right, clowns, this week we're discussing 2002's Session 9! We actually had a very, in depth, well thought out discussion about mental health and how the American medical system has fucked all of us over. We definitely did not just make dick and fart jokes for 90 minutes. Check back all throughout October as we take a look at the originals and remakes of The Hills Have Eyes, Dawn of the Dead, and A Nightmare on Elm Street as well as an episode on the first three films in the Hellraiser franchise. It's gonna be tight y'all! Well it might have been good enough in Rome, but it's not good enough now. It

Guttentag, goofballs! Here we are again with another ear pleasuring episode of the Who Goes There Podcast. Last week we discussed body invasion, aliens, and Russian conspiracies. This week we decided to tone things down a bit and discuss... excessive use of force by police and... systemic... racism. Damn. Well, at least the abuse of power and racism is in the form of the film Manic Cop and not in the form of the 6PM news. Oddly enough, a lot of the themes discussed in this 1988... comedy, horror film (?) are just as relevant today as they were over thirty years ago. (Review at 35:50) Next week's episode will be a lot more fun and less serious, probably. We already recorded it, but it was like 3 weeks ago, I honestly don't even remember what movie we did. I guess we'll find out together! Huzzah, friendship! With a little luck, the network will pick me up. It's the Who Goes There Podcast episode 276! If you enjoy the show, please consider joining our Patreon subscribers. That means for less than the cost o