Battlecast Presented By Meltdown Comics

 Wyle E. Coyote (Dan) vs. Zack Morris (James) Downton Abbey. This week, two icons of your childhood go head to head in a castle from a show that only pretentious jerks appreciate. Kidding. Downton Abbey is probably fine. Probably. Will it be the coyote with the entire catalogue of Acme products at his clawed fingertips or the upper class high-school enigma with the inexplicable power to stop time? Who knows....? Not you obviously.Warning: Poor Dan.Records after last episode:   Dan 0-0, Andy 0-1, James 1-0

Nathan Drake (Jay Huerto) vs. Dick Butt (Andy) at Jumanji. WELCOME TO SEASON 3 OF BATTLECAST We roll things out this season with a special guest... the incredibly talented and dear, dear, dear friend of the show's, Jay Huerto. More importantly, yes, we are definitely filing a class-action lawsuit against Andy for the character he chose. This week, we stroll through uncharted territory with Nathan Drake and Dick Butt in the Jumanji Mansion. P.S. sorry our audio gets fucked a few times - new mixer growing-pains. Warning: Dick butt. Records reset to zero after last episode.   Enjoy.

Roberto (James) vs. Slurms McKenzie (Dan) vs. Hedonism Bot (Andy) vs. Bender (Dirk) at the Slurm Factory on Planet Wormulon. Season 2 of Battlecast is over... Comic-Con is over... equally miserable facts of life... BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! The second penta-annual Futurama Space-TWO-cuLRRR is here with all four of us sclum-bags battling for our right to remind everyone about having won for a few weeks. Dust off your brain-slug and fasten your Finglongers, it's gonna be a wild ride.   Warning: Is Dave "the one"?   Enjoy.

We're not going to lie and say that this is a good episode. We will, however, lie and say that it's a decent episode.   Dan, Andy, and Dave tool around Comic Con forcing cosplayers to fight each other. Also a guy playing drums on a streetlight gave Dan a few shots of the Fireball in his pants. Also we saw Donal Logue. Also Andy can't speak English.   Thanks to Jeff Rector, San Diego's Zombee, and The Pod Brother for chatting with us.   Warning: We know this episode is meandering and unlistenable... but you never know when a certain Futurama Space-TWO-cuLRRR may come out. This week. Ok, you do know.

4 (Andy) vs. 3 (Dan) vs. 2 (James)   You know the rules, people. Each of our winning characters from throughout Season 2 are back as our respective champions. Who shall reign victorious and inherit that mostly shitty Katana that Andy bought last season as a trophy for himself? Probably not James.   Warning: Space AIDS. You know, Space Age AIDS.   Record after last episode... James 2-4, Andy 4-2, Dan 3-3.   Enjoy.

Pam (Andy) vs. Ganondorf (Dan) in Hell.   As if listening to us jackasses wasn't hell enough already, this week's battle takes place in aaaactual Hell as represented by classic Italian poet, Dante. Archer's H.R. Lady and all around debaucherous badass, Pam Poovey, drags Hyrule's Lord of the Dark Arts, Ganondorf, through the nine rings of hell in this week's episode.   Warning: Open couch-surfing offer at Andy's house. Inquire within.   Record after last episode... James 2-4, Andy 4-1, Dan 2-3.   Enjoy.

Derek Jeter (Woods) vs. Commander Shepard (James) in Las Vegas.   You know him from Cantore + Woods and as morning DJ of San Diego's FM 94/9, Steven Woods joins the Battlecast boys for an extra specialiciuos episode. One of greatest baseballers of all time, Derek Jeter, faces the fury that is Mass Effect's proven protagonist, Commander Shepard.    Warning: Cocaine and Bitches and free iPads   Record after last episode... James 1-4, Andy 4-0, Dan 2-3.   Enjoy.

Beetlejuice (Dan) vs. Steve-O (James) at World Cup 2014.   Two of the gnarliest and often yuckiest men in show-business, Jack-Ass's Steve-O and Beetlejuice, "match up" in Brazil at World Cup Stadium (you know, the main one or something). Be prepared for things going in butts, butts going on things, and other configurations of butts and things.    Warning: Gooooooooooooool!   Record after last episode... James 1-3, Andy 4-0, Dan 1-3.   Enjoy.

Gambit (Dan) vs. Scott Pilgrim (Andy) at Pride Parade.   In honor of James's latent homophobia, we find ourselves facing off at the Gay Pride Parade on this week's installment of Battlecast. Gambit of the X-Men calls Scott Pilgrim's hand in a game of good old American Russian Roulette. Will it roll Snake Eyes? Jackpot.   Warning: Anachronistic Pepsi references.   Record after last episode... James 1-3, Andy 3-0, Dan 1-2.   Enjoy.  

Ender (Andy) vs. Akuma (James) at the house from Home Alone.   This week we bring you a very special Father's Day episode featuring heart-warming stories about dads fighting children and girls. Also we battle. Defender(?) of Earth, Ender Wiggin weighs up against demonic martial artist Akuma from Street Fighter.   Warning: Dr. Mario Spaghetti.   Record after last episode... James 1-2, Andy 2-0, Dan 1-2.   Enjoy.

Tommy D (Jimmy Callaway) vs. Hunter S. Thompson (Dan) in Dunder Mifflin from The Office.   James got too Hollywood for us and left so we had fellow podcaster, comedian and comic-book store employee extroadinaire, Jimmy Callaway, swoop his spot. Tommy D as played by Joe Pesci played by Jimmy Callaway butts heads with Hunter S. Thompson as played by Johnny Depp played by Dan in the Dunder Mifflin building.   Warning: Sugar Ray references.   Record after last episode... James 0-2, Andy 2-0, Dan 1-1.   Enjoy.

Qui-Gon Jinn (Jacob Sirof) vs. Inspector Clouseau (James) on The Island from Lost   SPECIAL GUEST ALERT!!! The very funny and incredibly talented Jacob Sirof unleashes the Force as his favorite Star Wars character, Qui-Gon Jinn, against Andy's bumbling idiot of a protagonist... The Pink Panther himself- Inspector Clouseau.    Warning: Eye-fucking?   Record after last episode... James 0-2, Andy 1-0, Dan 1-0.   Enjoy.

The Animaniacs (Andy) vs. Cool Runnings (James) in Grand Theft Auto's Vice City Jamaican Bobsledders? Yes, fucking Jamaican bobsledders. Oh yeah and John Candy. They compete against The Warner siblings themselves: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Warning: Uncut and uncensored. But mostly just uncut.   Record after last episode... James 0-1, Andy 0-0, Dan 1-0.   Enjoy.

R.L. Stine (James) vs. Yoshi (Dan) on The Price is Right   Welcome to Season 2 of Battlecast! We spin things off this season with a trip to Bob Barker's domain of pain: The Price is Right. Thanks x 1,000,000 to S.S.S.C.G.P. (Super Special Skype Cameo Guest People) Will Cole and Aaron Fujimoto. Warning: Bestiality. Record is wiped clean after last season... James 0-0, Andy 0-0, Dan 0-0.   Enjoy.

Dr. Zoidberg (James) vs. Professor Farnsworth (Dan) vs. Zapp Brannigan (Andy) vs. Lrrr (Dirk) at the Ruins of Old New York. Welcome to our first annual Battlecast Futurama SpacetacuLRRR. All four of your favorite (erhm) Battlecasters put on their Light-Speed Briefs and fight to the death in the sub-urban ruins of Old New York.   Warning: Alex Hoffman as guest Judicator   Enjoy.

Senator Palpatine (James) vs. Han Solo (Dan) on Hoth. It's Battlecast's first live episode! We recorded in front of a live studio audience at Southern California Comics during their hugely sucessful and much adored Free Comic Book Day event. As homage to Star Wars Day (May the 4th be with you), we had Senator Palpatine face off against Han Solo on the ice planet of Hoth.   Warning: It was an all ages event aka no swearing. Mostly. Enjoy.

We say goodbye to Season 1 of Battlecast. And Dan's dismal losing streak. It's a free-for-all between all of the winning characters of the season. James Pugh as Jack Bauer, Alex Mack, Jigsaw, Tommy Oliver, and Scorpion. Andy Boyd as James Bond, Voldemort, and Calvin. And Dan Brozo as some other thing.   Warning: We forgot how to Battlecast. Regular Season final record is James 5-1, Andy 3-3, Dan 1-5   Enjoy.

Zaphod Beeblebrox (Andy) vs. Alex Mack (James) at Pride Rock. It's a circle of death at Pride Rock where Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox takes on Super-Powered Pre-teen, Alex Mack.   Warning: Special Guests Beau Doiron, Andrew DeGregorio, Christine Record after last episode is James 4-1, Andy 3-2, Dan 1-5.   Enjoy.

Yesterday.....all our episodes seemed so far away. Now it seems the show is here to stay. Oh we believe, in yesterday....   Thrall (James) vs Kratos (Dan) at Legoland California   Former (spoiler) Warchief of the Horde, Thrall, clashes with the present (spoiler) god of War.. Kratos.   Warning: Is ashy racist?   Witness the birth of Battlecast, and please... Enjoy.

Inspector Gadget (Dan) vs. James Bond (Andy) in Wrestlemania.   Dun dun dun dundun dun - Inspector Gadget infiltrates wrestlemania to smack down against everyone's favorite secret agent man, 007.   Warning: Dan is a pederast.   Record after last episode is James 4-1, Andy 2-2, Dan 1-4. Enjoy.