Battlecast Presented By Meltdown Comics

Happy New Year!! We reign in 2015 with a battle between everyone's favorite marshmallowy super-thing, Kirby (Dirk) and a teenagiest mutantest ninjaiest turtliest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle of them all, Raphael (Dan). It all takes place on the satellite of love from Mystery Science Theater 3000.   Warning: ORGASM!   Records after last episode: Dan 2-2, Andy 2-3, James 3-2     Enjoy!

It's Christmas, everybody! We celebrate by using an all X-Mas themed wheel which happened to land on A Charlie Brown Christmas for this week's battleground. It's f-Zero All-Star Captain Falcon (James) vs. the super-charged stooge Deadpool (Andy).   Warning: Let's all remember the true meaning of Christmas... Santa's Birthday!   Records after last episode: Dan 2-2, Andy 1-3, James 3-1     Enjoy!

One of the most played games in south-east Asia meets one of the least known movies in north-west Everywhere. It's Harry Waters (Andy [way to pick someone everyone loves and adores!!!!]) vs The Queen of Blades, Sarah Kerrigan (Dan). It all takes place at the Battle of New York from the Avengers.   Warning: Dan makes up for being late by telling the best stories ever heard.   Records after last episode: Dan 1-2, Andy 1-2, James 3-1     Enjoy!

  Warning: Not for the faint of heart.. Records after last episode: Dan 1-1, Andy 1-2, James 2-1     Enjoy!

Haaaaaaaaaaappy Late as F Thanksgiving!!! Yes, we know, that was like a week ago, but see if we care!... On this week's episode, Andy takes immediate advantage of the new Dirkeo rule fighting as Agent Coulson from the Marvel/Avengers universe. In honor of the release of Super Smash Bros for Wii U, James picked Little Mac.   Oh yeah!! And it alllll takes place at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! So timely it hurts! Warning: Extended Andy Story-time. Records after last episode: Dan 1-1, Andy 0-2, James 2-0     Enjoy!

You may remember... in eons past... when a man named Beau aka DJ Man-Cat graced our show with his presence. Today he makes his triumphant return to the show as guest judicator. Our battleground is the Hunger Games arena (so timely, huh?). Also! A new rule we decided upon allows Dirk to step in as a "Dirkeo" (Dirk + Cameo) for each of us once per season. Dan takes his Dirkeo to fight against Andy. It's Nikola Tesla (Dirk) vs. Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski in a battle of brains on bongs! Warning: It's Man-Cat Time!!!! Records after last episode: Dan 0-1, Andy 0-1, James 2-0     Enjoy!

In honor of Dan getting the biggest compliment of his life from last week's guest (who compared him to Chris Pratt...), he chose Star-Lord as his weekly warrior. James picked some weird little girl from some League of Legends crap because he's James. JK LoL is pretty solid. But the worst pick of all was Andy's choice for us to fight in the town where Gilmore Girls took place. Stars Hollow. I feel my testicles shriveling just typing it. Warning: Dirk's Boss came to crash the party. Records after last episode: Dan 0-0, Andy 0-1, James 1-0     Enjoy!

***BONUS ROUND*** Here's some bonus content for you guys. Because we love you. And because Andy was dyyyyying to ask Dan to retell a story he told off the air.   Enjoy!

Season 4 of Battlecast is here! OMG OMG OMG!!! On top of that, we have one of our favorite guests ever in studio fighting on James's behalf. Andy Schatz, the owner of Pocketwatch Games (known for the award winning, much adored and highly acclaimed indy game, Monaco) We have martial artist and action movie star, Steven Seagal (Andy) vs. famed nature documentarian, David Attenborough (Andy Schatz). Oh yeah, and we're battling inside the works of Dr. Suess! Mostly the Butter Battle Book. Warning: Andy Prime is way too rad. Records after last episode: Dan 0-0, Andy 0-0, James 0-0     Enjoy!

Mike Haggar (James) vs. Randy Marsh (Dirk) vs. Wario (Dan) inside Salvador Dali's paintings. In honor of the great month of Movember, we bring you this lovely little mustachesterpiece of an episode. Three mustachioed gents throw down in one of the most prolific mustached-man's art. Yes, there are melty clocks and tigers jumping out of pomegranates. Yes, there are ants crawling out of vaginas. And yes, we like to think it was all for a good cause.   Warning: It gets real gross real fast.   Enjoy.

Moe (James) vs. Rainier Wolfcastle (Dave) vs. Professor Frink (Andy) vs. Krusty the Klown (Dan) at the Nuclear Power Plant. I wish we could have had the foresight to make this a Simpsons episode AAAAND a Halloween themed episode, but we're much too stupid for that. Instead we have a clown, a genius, a bartender, and a german actor going head-to-head in a nuclear power plant. Pretty enticing, eh? Yes. The answer is yes.   Warning: We're sorry.   Enjoy.

4 (Andy) vs. 3 (Dan) vs. 2 (James) You know the rules, people. Each of our winning characters from throughout Season 3 are back as our respective champions. Andy's team of four includes Gob BLuth, Mr. Burns, Viewtiful Joe, and half the cast of Top Gear. Dan's three-man squad is Piccolo, Darth Vader, and Blossom and Buttercup of the Powerpuff Girls. Lastly, James pitiful twosome is Zach Morris and Nathan Drake. To the winner goes the spoils! Meaning the Katana Trophy and a spoonful of pride.Warning: James paints a lovely picture of heaven.Record after last episode... James 2-4, Andy 4-2, Dan 3-3.Enjoy.

We welcome back our favorite guest (and much needed relief from James's bullshit) Jimmy Callaway! He tries on his ajudicating hat for this episode which takes place in Ghostbusters HQ. It's Bruce Lee's trainer Ip Man (Andy) vs. Piccolo (Dan) in a martial arts showdown with ghosts and ghouls and possibly a Spirit Bomb that takes 6 weeks to occur. Also get on Netflix and watch Ip Man if you haven't. Super good. Warning: Did Andy imply he'd use Slimer's slime as lube?   Records after last episode: Dan 2-3, Andy 4-1, James 2-4

Darth Vader (Dan) vs. Lord Xenu (James) at F-1's Monaco   Everything you wanted to know about Scientology but were afraid to ask. It's a war between two intergalactic over-lords: Darth Vader, and the enigmatic Lord Xenu. They hop in some F1 cars and race around the multi-zillion dollar Monaco Track. There's Sarlaccs and Giant Spiders, and even some F1 people you've never heard of. It's Battlecast.Warning: Don't sue us please.   Records after last episode: Dan 1-3, Andy 4-1, James 2-3

Gob Bluth (Andy) vs. Kevin Smith (James) at NPR             Holy friggin' moly, strap in for the longest, most dramatic, action packed episode of Battlecast yet. It's Arrested Development's Master Illusionist, Gob Bluth, battling multi-talented media maven, Kevin Smith, through the NPR airwaves. You'll see some familiar faces and some not so much. On top of all of this madness, rapper/comedian/writer for Epic Rap Battles of History... ZACH SHERWIN features as a guest cameo. Oh so much fun.Warning: Yes, "stupider" is a word. And no, James doesn't know how to rules.Records after last episode: Dan 1-3, Andy 3-1, James 2-2

Lucky Charms (Dan) vs. Top Gear (Andy) in The  Vatican       It's the question that's been on the minds of the world since the mid 90s.... Who would win in a fight between the beloved cereal mascot, Lucky, and the most popular auto-based television show on the planet? Enter Battlecast....half stupid podcast and half humanitarian super-being. Oh yeah, and we make fun of Popes.Warning: Andy would like some what?Records after last episode:  Dan 1-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-2

The Powerpuff Girls (Dan) vs. Bayonetta (James) in THE INTERNET The boys (as girls) take a lovely stroll through the internet in this week's edition of Battlecast. Dan fights as the much beloved Powerpuff Girls and James picks some character we're not sure is even a real thing. All your favorite websites become home to this brutal beatdown: Reddit, 4chan, Autoblog, and for a fleeting moment of pure joy, Space Jam's original 1996 page.Warning: We're terrible people.Records after last episode:   Dan 0-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-1

Lady Gaga (James) vs. Viewtiful Joe (Andy) in MXC It's official. Dan hates James. Thankfully, MXC is one of the best things ever, and that makes everything better. Join us as we thrust our way through everyone's favorite over-dubbed Japanese obstacle course gameshow.Warning: We hope you like Lady GagaRecords after last episode:   Dan 0-2, Andy 1-1, James 2-0

We go one more round with the mysterious stranger, "Deepthroat", asking all the hardest hitting questions you'd expect from the seasoned journalists here at Battlecast.

The Terminator (Dan) vs. Mr. Burns (Andy) in The Revolutionary War. We welcome a very special guest into the studio for this week's episode. The dashing and mysterious "Deepthroat". The battle itself takes place waaaaaay back when- in the Revolutionary War featuring a Robot and a Trillionaire.Warning: Buttstuff.comRecords after last episode:   Dan 0-1, Andy 0-1, James 2-0