Double Deuce Podcast

It was a perfect storm of back pain, snowstorm, tired, other stuff, so we’re zooming. The perfect storm also affected Will’s internets so there’s a couple quick freezes/lags, but it’s not too bad— just want to apologize for them in advance. Still, we ball! The Notes: Will’s getting high on the pod soon and we have a live show soon! Stay tuned next week for more information on that stuff! Will’s got a legal question he can’t ask our lawyer, Spicy Beef Gaus! Nelson can law a little when the need arises! Will knows what car everybody drives, or at least he thinks he does! Will knows which of his friends wear stupid hats! Legally, Will is in the clear in re: that snow dick! Always get the phone before you tell them about the dick! Despite it all, Will sticks the landing! Druncle Funcle Willie helps his niece out with a first date! Backdoor Sports Corner! Get your goddamn hands off our football coach! Nelson doesn’t know the metric system! How many stone is a chocolate cake anyway!? A man’s got to have a jaunty tu

We’re zooming again, we’re sober, and we got no guest, but it’s still a bonus-sized Thanksgiving feast for the ears, and Ollie is in the background for listeners with whatever the ear equivalent is of eagle-eyed. The Notes: We’re a week away from a stoned, Thanksgiving episode 420, so prepare yourselves over the holiday break for that! A brief discussion on the existence of objective truth! McRib’s back (watch out for your o-rings)! Jesus probably never ate a McRib! Not a lot of people know this, but Jesus was pretty religious! Keep the Christ in Chrtist! Will met the governor! The governor is like your mom! We know the nice politicians! Office garage! Will’s list of enemies isn’t public, but it isn’t a secret— just give him a call! It’s not a perfect system, but it is honest! The McRib abhors a human digestive system! The McRib is taking the first offramp it can find! The similarities between the McRib and childbirth! Nelson’s cat loves ribs, while Will loves Baldur’s Gate 3! Will’s not getting weird with it

It’s our second in person episode recorded in a row, we’re a little drunk, we’re futurepast-ing like we do sometimes, and special guest Mel Novak is back-ack-ack-ack! The Notes: Working on our night stuff! Not enough murders! Eating noodles and opening mail! Mail unboxing videos! Dick in a box unboxing videos! John Popper’s Olde Fashioned Poppers! Will tells “the story” again! This is Will’s therapy! Nelson defends Will’s mom’s honor in the worst way! 90’s Lawrence retrospective! Get your bingo cards out, townies! Will’s dick unboxing Only Fans! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art online at Keezograms! Intro & Outro

We’re in person with a special guest, Mel Novak, holy shit! The Notes: Will knows numbers! Lawrence 90’s vibes vs 20’s vibes! Bottle vs box wine! The young of the old! Mel recommends the Wine Dive in downtown Lawrence! Will’s unsolicited dick pics (to his mom?)! Analog dick pics! Bottles of wine make for a real California Adventure! Kurt Russell is the best wingman! Kurt Russell loves love! Blue wine will get you fucked up! Wine facts and wine passion! Two Questions with Will! So many uses for a shock collar (not just at steakhouses)! You don’t need a safe word if you have a shock collar! The Australian table wines of Lawrence, Kansas! Findmydick.com, “because it happens to the worst of us.” We don’t stick the landing! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon

Something a little different this week! In honor of autumn and the spooky season, and because time was short as hell this week for all kinds of spooky reasons, we have Will reading a spooky fall short story called The Littlest Free Library of West Lawrence! We hope you enjoy it, and we’ll be back again in a recognizable way next week, you beautiful animals! We love you, and hope you eat the exact correct amount of candy that momentarily sates the festering trauma of a world gone wrong within you while not being so much that you feel any hint of guilt or shame! Oh, and Nelson does a quick intro, too, don’t worry! He wasn’t gruesomely murdered by the risen, razor-fingered janitor our parents horribly killed years ago for honestly, totally understandable reasons! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android,

We’re zooming, and Nelson’s computer goes crazy at the end, but we persevere as usual! NOTES: Live show coming up in a bit, details to come when we have them! Do you have an abandoned factory we can borrow!? He’s got a lot of law to give! A custom song from Will for all new patreon subs this week! He’s got a lot of song to give! The Usual Suspects of butt-licking! Speaking of the devil, Will went to church! Don’t fill up on the body of Christ, we’re going to Shakey’s later! Gangsta rap and hymns are closer than you think! It ain’t no fun if Jesus can’t have none! Will’s Revenge of the Nerds-themed confirmation! God vs street signs! Elephants, a double-edged sword! Elephants vs cars, nobody wins! Nelson’s computer is freaking out and it’s making him dance! Nelson’s homeschool curriculum! Give us your gold and jewels! Nude dancing in room 1 after this! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patr

We do the zoom, come zoom with us. The Notes: This episode is for those fuckers, and for you fuckers, too! Will’s grandparents hittin’ it raw up in heaven! What’s the refractory period in heaven? Paul Lim is the David Attenborough of Will’s grandparents fucking in heaven! Jonathan Lethem is down-ish to clown-ish! Grants are a goddamn racket, bring back feudal artistic patronage! #DDComeLiveInMyCastle! Will’s Top 5 I-70 facts! Rootbeer floats vs blood and fear! The protective properties of a hot sleep! The Nancy Reagan of Highways! What kind of stone is the big prairie dog golem made out of!? The required golem studies for a geology degree! Fuck clay! I-70 and it’s connection to the multiverse! The secret druidic origins of I-70! Requirements of being a druid beyond Must Love Dogs! Why Nelson is banned from guest lecturing at accredited universities! Free Palestine, free Ukraine (and free the golems)! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Faceb

It was a big, long weekend, so we’re zooming it. The Notes: It’s ear-tussling time! Train talk! Will just wants to play as his man! Fuck them Wednesdays! Poison hotdogs! The spookiest birthday! Will’s product placement for himself! Send Jaq a birthday message aka Will flirts with danger! Our fans are like the sea! Let’s talk about salt! Will has a question about the desert! Speaking of cautionary tales! I WISH Elon Musk was a lizard person! Dog Report! Nelson is watching football and having complicated feelings! Will has a question about asses! Nelson won’t stop twerking! Guy Fieri did nothing wrong! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keeze

Number two in an evening recorded last week in Nelson’s kitchen, so we’re getting a little weird! The Notes: Those doodoo’s are the story of Will’s life! William Faulkner: Champion Drinker! Faulkner vs Hemingway! Drinking in re: Writing aka the terrifying implications! Drunk writers vs drunk actors! Are you a drunk writer and/or actor, let us know! Will’s working on his book of facebook co-worker posts about Ollie, so get ready to buy that shit! Reclaim that content! Will is also playing Starfield! It’s impressive when someone kills a dragon (usually)! Don’t kill Pete’s Dragon, he’s not a threat! The Dragons of Dillons calendar! What makes a dragon hot!? If he doesn’t have a hoard, why are you with him, girl!? A dragon needs to be a protector and a provider! The fuckability of Bluey’s Dad! Hop on the fuckability train! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, ple

Recording in person in Nelson’s kitchen, jiggety-jig! The Notes: The architecture of Nelson’s kitchen! Bar vs island! The bar Nelson’s grandpa built! Will’s uncomfortable car tour for nieces! The times when Will’s sister got drunk! He was no gentleman assassin, he was a cutthroat! Places Will got drunk and also lived! We need to make a deal with the buses and the city! Will needs to have a conversation about Courtney’s husband! Don’t ask Will why he was there! Will had Lawrence in his mouth, yum yum! How many bites does Nelson need (it’s 3)! Lick that bundt! Will was in no mood to meet people! Will has a crush on Courtney’s hot husband! Will didn’t want to be churlish! Kids in a trench coat vs a Voltron situation! Kids, here’s what you have to do before you can imprison someone in your home! Is your partner a Voltron, don’t miss the signs! Commandment 13: 3 Bites, be reasonable! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/

We zoomed a weird, long one tonight, friends! The Notes: Will forgot about 10! Will’s here to kill your monster! The thing Will’s learned about squatches! Hilarious, but terrifying at the same time! Will’s wife, Jaq, is perpetually hunted by squatches! Our local cops are racist against wookiees! Top 5 similarities between the Galactic Empire and the LPD! Emperor Palpatine Oops All Berries! Nelson is exposing all of Will’s ruses tonight! Sports Corner! Will is playing Starfield, Nelson is watching sports! Go Washington (Mystics please, and Commanders), KC looking sloppy, go Jayhawks! Chickens vs roosters! Nelson doesn’t know if the science in Real Genius checks out! That’s how they caught Jack the Ripper! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, Ra

Football opening day, so we zoomed it up! The notes aren’t great, I’m letting you know now! Still, The Notes: Back when we were scandalous! We know a lot more than when we started! No fatalities at the glue factory! Football opening day making this single episode feel like a second episode, and the notes are making it clear! Nelson has come to respect the pretender king, but if the one, true Jake from State Farm should ever call all the people still loyal to his banner together to fight in his army to retake his title, Nelson will march to war for him! If Nelson should die laying siege to State Farm Castle in honor of his lord, he’s gonna make sure to wedge his corpse into a door and here’s why! Everybody knows State Farm’s corporate HQ is a castle! Will got a dog and it’s fun for the whole family! Explosive diarrhea doesn’t make a great first impression! The Goldfish trick! There’s no rule against Will’s dog playing organized sports! Our new curling team! More endings than Lord of the Rings! Hey, you know, l

We’re recording in person, Courtney Shipley is back again, and it’s the second episode of the night. The notes are bad, but here they are. Happy Labor Day! The Notes: Kickball in the Future Past! Everybody brings their dog! Kickball and gym class! Gym class reveries! Will always brought a note on kickball day! Mr. Denny was a good guy [editor’s note: his name was Mr. Davis, I don’t know why I got his name wrong, how crossfaded was I?]! Lyle Alzado’s Power Workout! American Gladiators documentary on Netflix! You see, kids, TV used to have a thing called syndication! Middle School and American Gladiators synced up perfectly for Nelson! Pandemic reveries! Nelson and Courtney both evaded the wiles of the king of tigers! Home and mother-in-law valuations and how they differ vis-à-vis bloodstains! Will’s repainting mothers-in-law! Nelson was right! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/

We’re in person in Nelson’s garage with special guest Courtney Shipley! The Notes: This is the hardest one! Nelson’s garage! Why the cows, gateway! Nelson is working that google tonight! The Amish are a simple people, they have a simple store! How many quakers in a cubit (Google-Nelson says there are 20.4 inches in a cubit)! Quakelets! English is a funny language! We start teaching ESL! Nelson retires from google! Everybody has a job to do here! There is 0% unemployment in this garage, but you don’t hear about that at the city commission meetings! Puppet complaints aka Will’s new nemesis! Will has never had a problem with solid waste! Garbage removal mafia! The crime of fly-tipping! The tiny appliances of England! What that real bread do! Dead frog update aka the Swamp Violence sequel! Will’s mother-in-law killed a mouse with a stick! I deduce the method of murder was poison! Frog bordello! The ugly side of urban swamp renewal! Nelson has a crazy mouse story! That lady pants-Lenny-ed a mouse! Unsolved Frog an

We’re zooming cause it’s disaster movie hot outside! The Notes: This episode is going to be the best one ever and here’s why! We’re living in the moment! It’s an Inspector Clouseau and Cato kind of situation! Nelson has vast offshore holdings and assassins constantly in pursuit! The tattooed lawyer! We mourn another friend gone to soon! A moment on online mourning etiquette! Cool ways to die! Anal fireworks-related deaths! Vikings vs the English language! Will has a bloody, dead frog in his bathroom and Jacqueline is less than pleased! Will is living in a frog hot zone! Nelson breaks down the likely causes of frogicide, because this is either foul play or a hemorrhagic frog virus! Nelson’s having a bad name night! It’s Ollie’s birthday this week! Don’t let the in-laws see your swamp violence! Not a lot of people know, but Kermit the Frog is an international crime boss! The bible belt holds up the pants of swamp violence! Will’s house is a destination location for swamp violence and drive-by swamp violence! RI

Busy weekend lazy Sunday zooming it. The Notes: Country music non-profit! Nelson doesn’t have the census data in front of him right now! Individual numbers are math, percentages are more about your gut! Thad’s funeral at Liberty Hall (RIP to Thad, who was really one of the good ones and is gone way to soon)! Will’s first funeral puppet show! Nelson tries excruciatingly hard to get Will to notice his reference to the M Night Shyamalan movie Unbreakable! (Editor’s note: I had to google check the spelling and I don’t know how I missed it before but it’s Shy Am Alan, and now I think I may always remember)! Will uses puppetry to be some kid’s Joker origin story! With a name that shitty, you know what you’re getting into! Will is a self-professed bitch who doesn’t know as much about Alanis Morissette as he thinks he does! Nelson memes Will so fucking hard you guys! Will’s conspiracy theory grooming guy! Will’s Hair Corner! The God Tickle Particle! That old dusty trail! PS- It was Meredith Brooks, by the way, I look

Recording in person to beat the late summer heat! The Notes: Is this a numerology podcast? Nelson’s not a numbers guy, he’s an idea guy! Parachute pants that really parachute! Deuce Wear, clothes for men with problems! Airborne chlamydia is a real problem! Keep your genitals on lockdown at Will’s house! Barely any wetness, just a whole lot of noise! Wind is the greatest threat! Full wetsuit bottom summer! Nelson is developing a whole line of pants! Will proves he knows all the kinds of camouflage! Marines love some sword play! Were there centaurs in ‘Nam!? Nelson is more of a Val Kilmer! We believe in Ben Affleck science! Physics-based Sherlock Holmes! It’s bigger on the inside than the outside! Sports Corner: Women’s World Cup US vs Sweden preview! It’s all meatballs and Allen wrenches! A phone call to Tom Hanks! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please s

Zooming after a busy week for Will! The Notes: It’s a 10pm Sunday Late Night Deuce! #NightDeuce! Will needs to contextualize himself! Workin’ on our Night Deuce! Nelson and the Witcher both have bad backs! Will explains the powers of the Witcher! Crack Loco vs Four Crack! Gestureology! Sound of Music prequel! How old is the Von Trapp man!? Look out for Von Troutman drama in Indianapolis! Nelson has history in Indianapolis, too! Firemen faux pas! Speaking of catching fire, how’s Will’s colon!? Will’s colon is squeaky clean! Will did special k at LMH! Will’s Colon Catastrophes! Will’s anesthesia chainsaw spree! Nelson will win the demolition derby with either Killdozer or a Dillon’s cart! Will as Auman as Bane! Auman’s show went great and will hopefully be back in LFK again sometime before hitting up another festival! RIP Thad, an LFK institution gone far too soon! Zorro was a long time coming! Fire Chief Ryu’s fireball test for the new recruits! Don’t get burned! We unfortunately scare a cat (she’s fine)! Cont

Busy weekend with Auman at the KC Fringe and Will prepping his ass for Monday, so we zoomed it! The Notes: Will’s colonoscopy is nigh! Nelson is a little sleepy! Will’s got some pantless sitting times ahead of him! Auman’s show, the Last Word is Hope, premiered at the KC Fringe (and is still showing Tuesday at 6:30pm, Friday at 11pm, and Saturday at 6:30pm)! Did Will just say 3 or 30 (there was actually a glitch, I think, so YOU be the judge!)!? Emotionally naked, not real naked! Red Hot Chili Peppers level emotionally naked! Emotional dick sock (and nothing else) emotionally naked! So, anyway, the show looks good, go see it (details at the end of the episode)! We won the Applebee’s feud (motherfuckers left town)! America fell in love with big! (Strip) mall culture! Is there a connection to 9/11!? The 90’s were the 70’s but with the internet! Sports Corner: The Basketball Tournament (TBT) KU team (Mass Street) is playing while we record (it didn’t end so well)! Sunderland update! Need us to help close your bu

RPG has fallen, but we endure! The Notes: Coming to you in person from Nelson’s Dad’s old office! Our new podcast endpoint is 525, plan accordingly! Retiring to raise our 10-year-old podcast robot child! Robot Bad News Bears! Will’s impending colonoscopy! Ass cancer ghost! Will’s colon is where he keeps all his secrets! Will’s Colon of Solitude! Bob Odenkirk’s Mom’s ass! Will investigates the State! “90’s comedy!” Robot Bad News Bears 2: Space Camp! Nelson was sick, but he’s better now! Grape mouth! Check yourself before you poop yourself! Watch out for them antibiotics, kids! The Mountain Goats! Air Force One (the movie) is, frankly, amazing! Go see Auman’s show, The Last Word is Hope, at the KC Fringe! More info at the end of the episode, but here are days and times: Friday July 21st at 6:30pm! Sunday the 23rd at 5pm! Tuesday the 25th at 6:30pm! Friday the 28th at 11pm! Saturday the 29th at 6:30pm! Be there to support our boy! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Ins