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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-035-ShortCircuit2.mp3 Download MP3 "Some say he's nuts, others say he's bolts" -- and if you think that tagline's hilarious, how can you possibly survive two solid hours of gut-busting robot antics? Having successfully faked Johnny 5's death at the end of the first movie, Stephanie (portrayed here by a returning Ally Sheedy in voice only) and Newton Crosby (completely absent Steve Guttenberg -- he didn't even send his Who's Johnny cardboard cutout) ship their extraordinarily valuable robot friend to New York City, so that he can help their conspicuously Indian friend Fisher Stevens manufacture cheap trinkets in his likeness. Even slickster Michael McKean, who has nothing to gain and everything to lose by doing so, points out that this is an incredibly stupid premise. Johnny 5 samples Catholicism, gets arrested, and foils a jewel heist, but the real star is Fisher Stevens's kooky Indian minstrel routine. He basically just says words in the wrong order and misunder

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-034-AlohaSummer.mp3 Download MP3 Based solely on our love of The Bad Guy from Karate Kid Part II's excellent Hawaiian-style diner, we selected this film, the poster of which is featured prominently on the aforementioned diner's wall. So it's a bit of an unknown quantity from the outset. But there's a lot to recommend this film, including a surprisingly affecting performance by martial arts star Sho Kosugi, an unsurprisingly hot performance by 21-year-old Hawaii native Tia Carrere, and a perhaps inevitably homoerotic performance by My Bodyguard star Chris Makepeace. So, maybe it won't suck?Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-033-NationalLampoonsPledgeThis.mp3 Download MP3 Why, why, why, WHY?!!? Ahem. Here's a film with absolutely no redeeming qualities, at all. As of this writing, IMDB ranks it as the second-worst film of all time, just after Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. Paris Hilton languidly says her then-catchphrase ("Hot."), whether or not it makes sense in context; inexplicable Christina Hendricks spouse Geoffrey Arend plays three or four roles, but that's not always entirely clear, since one of his characters tends to do kooky accents and pretend to be other people. We're joined by friend of the show Mark, who last sat with us for A Talking Cat!?!, so we know he can handle himself in this kind of situation.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-032-RemoWilliamsTheAdventureBegins.mp3 Download MP3 Nostalgia is a fickle mistress. She's great to you, but terrible to your friends that you force her onto. And so it is when Chris forces us to watch Remo Williams, a notorious piece of crap that he watched too many times on Cinemax as a child, and now thinks is good. Don't be fooled; it is not good. From its supremely franchise-confident title to its casual racism, Remo Williams is a piece of garbage that only a small child could enjoy, over and over again, on a VHS that his dad used to tape it off cable. If you're not a small child in that exact scenario...you have been warned.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-031-UnicoInTheIslandOfMagic.mp3 Download MP3 An adorable, childlike unicorn-thing, his memories erased by jealous gods, finds himself embroiled in a desperate fight against a living puppet who seeks revenge on all humanity. At times playful, maudlin, psychedelic, and surprisingly violent, Unico left a strong impression on the youths of the 80s who watched it on the Disney channel, even if they were too young to remember the title or the plot. And unlike contemporary American cartoons, you can't count on an unambiguously happy ending, so bring your tissues.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-030-NinjaTerminator.mp3 Download MP3 White guy ninja Richard Harrison wants to assemble the three pieces of the Golden Ninja Statue that grants its wielder invincibility, so that he can fight the Evil Ninja Empire. To that end, he makes frequent phone calls to Jaguar Wong, a Chinese man in a completely different, much more competently-made kung fu movie. Such is the genius cost-saving style of Z-movie auteur Godfrey Ho, whose modus operandi was to cut redubbed bits and pieces from a bunch of movies, add some of his own inept footage, and call it a terrible, terrible day. Ho even cut up and reused a bunch of his own work, turning what was supposed to be a few Richard Harrison films into a dozen, and effectively killing that actor's career. Godfrey Ho is an essential part of any schlock cinema education, and we certainly feel like we've learned our lesson.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-029-Rotor.mp3 Download MP3 Buff rancher/police roboticist/sometimes-vigilante Dr. Coldyron invents a slow-moving police robot that looks just like a slow-moving police human, right down to its robot moustache. Unfortunately, the molecular memory in the unknown alloy of its chassis has allowed it to reprogram its brain matrix, so it goes nuts. While R.O.T.O.R. futilely tries to reach into cars and grab an always-just-out-of-reach skinny woman (truly the most dangerous game), Coldyron teams up with alloy inventor/female bodybuilder Dr. Steel. We haven't seen this much science gibberish used to describe a fundamentally unscary monster since Blackenstein.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-028-JosieAndThePussycats.mp3 Download MP3 Like the unerring ebb and flow of the tide, the Omegahedron follows a torturous crapfest with a movie that actually has merit. Sure, it's a live-action adaptation of an outdated cartoon that itself was an adaptation of a comic book, but it's also a commentary on consumerism and the choke-hold it has on America's youth. All that, plus a trio of attractive young women in a series of skimpy outfits and ever-present nekomimi? Truly we have suffered greatly to deserve such good fortune.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-027-GuyverDarkHero.mp3 Download MP3 Not nearly long enough ago, because the guy who wrote our theme song demanded it, we watched The Guyver...and declared it The Very Worst Film that we've watched for the purpose of podcasting. But the sequel must not be so bad, right? Certainly the guy who wrote the 'Reception' chapter of the Guyver: Dark Hero Wikipedia entry thinks it's better than the original. And it stars the guy who does the voice of Solid Snake, which means something to Chris at least. Is there any way that the sequel could steal the crown of Worst Yet from its predecessor? What we discovered may shake your confidence in the veracity of things that fanboys write on Wikipedia articles.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-026-ZappedSeries.mp3 Download MP3 It's a double feature! In Zapped!, Scott Baio accidentally inhales cannabinoid fumes that give him telekinetic powers, which he uses to rip womens' clothes off (and generally to parody Carrie). In the arguably superior straight-to-video sequel, Zapped Again! (with exclamation point on the video box, but without on the title card, probably due to budget constraints), some other guy finds the potion that Scott Baio invented or whatever, yada yada yada, telekinesis and boobs. As I'm writing these descriptions I realize I'm not selling these movies well, but trust me, they're a lot better than what we're usually stuck with.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-025-GreatAlligator.mp3 Download MP3 Italian thriller director Sergio Martino directs Beatles spouse Barbara Bach in this giant monster cheapie. Scenes of a surprisingly violent slaughter are interspersed with shots of what appear to be bath toys in a fish tank. It's truly a sight to behold. Also, we talk about movies and TV shows and stuff for a long time.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-024-Tenebre.mp3 Download MP3 Hey! It's a movie that doesn't suck! We dive headfirst into the giallo genre that Andrew keeps talking about with this bloody, nasty masterpiece from Italian director Dario Argento. Like Hitchcock with fashion sense, Argento delivers a suspensful thriller with bloody fountains of style. We know you never actually lower yourself to watching the movies we talk about, but in this case we urge you to do so, lest we spoil literally everything.Original post located at searchforschlock.com.