Search For Schlock

http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-055-demonKnight.mp3 Download MP3 There's an a lot of interesting history to the somewhat-unsuccessful attempt to make HBO anthology Tales from the Crypt into a film series. As the first part of a planned trilogy of Crypt Keeper-introduced horror movies, Demon Knight was actually written before the Crypt show existed, and thus lacks the series's usual signature dark karmic ending. What it does have, though, is a lot of gore, chuckles, exposed bosoms, and a winning performance by Billy Zane as a fun-loving demon intent on killing everyone and literally raising hell. Don't forget to stay after the credits for the Crypt Keeper's pun-tastic epilogue. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-054-captainAmerica.mp3 Download MP3 Join us on a voyage to the distant past of 1990, when any movie based on a Marvel Comics franchise was guaranteed to be one of the worst pieces of crap ever. Following closely on the heels of Howard the Duck and The Punisher (not the good one) comes a film introducing World War II hero Captain America (also not the good one). Unlike the Steve Rogers to whom you've grown accustomed, this Cap is a whiny loser with a cheap plastic shield who gets consistently stymied by a small gang of young, fashionable Italian models. Directed by Brain Smasher director Albert Pyun and produced by the infamous Menahem Golan, this movie is a perfect storm of cinematic badness that will swell your heart with American pride. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-053-battleBeyondTheStars.mp3 Download MP3 For reasons that no film historian has ever divined, the late 1970s and early 80s were a real boom time for space operas -- a trend that culminated in the mysteriously-titled Turkish Star Wars. For whatever reason, in 1980, bargain-hunter Roger Corman decided to produce this re-imagining of The Magnificent Seven in space, an idea whose complexity is only slightly compounded by the fact that The Magnificent Seven was itself Seven Samurai in the Old West. All of which is to say that Hollywood is ready for my adaptation of Battle Beyond The Stars but at a high school. If I can get Sybil Danning to play a saucy teacher, I'm pretty sure I can get the green light. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-052-brainSmasherALoveStory.mp3 Download MP3 This may be one of the more obscure movies we've watched for the podcast -- I'm not sure, because obscurity is hard to measure -- but there are three reasons why we felt we had to see it. First of all, it stars human regret Andrew Dice Clay, who we loathed in The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Secondly, the antagonist is played by none other than Seattle restauranteur The Bad Guy From Karate Kid Part II, who we reluctantly enjoyed in Aloha Summer (and who proudly displays a Brain Smasher poster in his fine establishment). Thirdly but perhaps mostly, it's a film written and directed by notorious schlockmeister Albert Pyun, into whose oeuvre we have had yet to delve. We'll be seeing a lot more of Mr. Pyun's work in the near future, so pay close attention, cinema enthusiasts. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-051-nineAndAHalfNinjas.mp3 Download MP3 This one found its way onto our list on the basis of its name alone (and we didn't even know about the exclamation point!). Basically, someone had the idea to shoot a parody of then-five-year-old erotic drama 9 1/2 Weeks that is also about ninjas, and that person was given money to make this happen. If that doesn't grab you, take a look at the filmography of romantic lead Andee Gray. What's that uncredited role in RoboCop, you ask? She was in one of the "I'd Buy That For A Dollar" TV segments (you know, the one Emil is watching through a store window while violence erupts in the streets because the cops are on strike in the third act). That's it, sold. Done. I will watch any movie that features any actor from the "I'd Buy That For A Dollar" segments from RoboCop, PERIOD. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-050-ladyInTheLake.mp3 Download MP3 In this little-remembered but unusual first-person POV Philip Marlowe adaptation, you are the star! You'll find the evidence, you'll piece together the clues, and you'll slap all those broads in their stupid faces! But there are some problems. For one thing, you're not a particularly likeable character. You're a jerk to basically everyone. You speak in a bit of a monotone, and since you can't see your own face, it's hard to tell how you feel about any given situation. Sometimes you just stand around looking at boring things, like when you're on the phone and you just stare at a wall for a minute. So in conclusion, you're an emotionless, boring asshole. And you're the star! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-049-fForFake.mp3 Download MP3 Yeah, that's right, we're cheaters: not every movie we watch is bad. Some are downright excellent, but obscure enough to be overlooked by even people who like excellent movies. We like to keep one wonderful movie on the List of Doom, just to keep it interesting, and F For Fake has held that position since Search for Schlock began. Now, at last, we get to watch one of Orson Welles's last great works [in which he is sober]. This one is a documentary about frauds -- a forger who makes tens of thousands of dollars for paintings that take minutes to produce; the forger's even-more-infamous biographer, who wrote Howard Hughes's "autobiography" without his knowledge or input; and Welles himself, a self-styled magician who tells lies for a living. This is a good one, people; get your hands on a copy and watch it before we spoil the ending for you. In sum: Ah, the French! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-048-LeonardPart6.mp3 Download MP3 Leonard Part 6 holds a prominent position in the pantheon of famous flops, proudly stationed next to Superman IV and The Garbage Pail Kids in the 1987 section of our favorite Wikipedia page, List of Films Considered the Worst. Like its spiritual cousins Ishtar (also from 1987) and Heaven's Gate, Leonard's reputation preceded it, with even the film's star and producer, comedy superstar Bill Cosby at the height of his fame, warning the public to stay away from theaters. Critics were appalled; Roger Ebert specifically called out the film's blatant product placement, which is such an adorable thing for him to have been angry about in the mid-1980s. But is there a chance that -- again, like Ishtar and Heaven's Gate -- this movie might not be as bad as its reputation would tend to suggest? Might we actually enjoy a film in which Bill Cosby rides an ostrich off the roof of an exploding building? The answer will shock you. Original post

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-047-ElectricDreams.mp3 Download MP3 Inspired by the recent success of Oscar-nominated Her?, we're looking back at an era when filmmakers really did not know how computers worked. In this case, a fairly average-looking PC is capable, right out of the box, of controlling nearly every device in your apartment, including the locks, coffee maker, blender, and electric toothbrush -- and that's before it develops sentience when nebbishy architect Miles spills champagne on it. The nascent intelligence also falls in love with Miles's neighbor/sort-of-girlfriend Virginia Madsen from Dune, and writes her a song that sounds suspiciously like a Culture Club B-side. And that's about all the plot you can squeeze in when your movie is wall-to-wall music video montages. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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http://searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-046-WomenInCages.mp3 Download MP3 At long last, Andrew and Chris delve into the murky waters of the Women in Prison film, a subgenre of exploitation cinema that centers on a concept we like to call "incarcerated ladies." Intrigued? Then you're a disgusting pig. But also, you might want to start with Women in Cages, which we think is an excellent introduction to the genre. For one thing, it's brought to you in part by schlock legend Roger Corman, so the laughs are guaranteed. Furthermore, it prominently features blaxploitation icon Pam Grier in an early role. And that's it. That's all the things. But if that's not enough for you, who cares? It's not like you'll ever get a real woman to spend time with you, pervert. You may as well just watch the movie. (You make us sick.) Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

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