Love Life Connection

Romantic comedies, dramas, novels, soap operas... we access so many things where we see the idea of having a soulmate come into play. And as soon as “the one” appears, the relationship just clicks and everything is perfect. Or is it? How do you find the balance between passion and having a healthy relationship, if one of those criteria is lacking? Today’s caller has a history of being in toxic relationships and starts off the call by asking how you know when a relationship is right. But almost immediately, the real question she wants to be answered reveals itself.  6:14 - My opinion about the whole soulmate concept that relieves the pressure 11:11 - The real question underneath the caller’s question 14:18 - The difference between the two ways you can have sex 20:05 - Can a healthy relationship also be an exciting one for the caller? 25:23 - How to effectively approach a difficult conversation with your partner 27:50 - Why sex in toxic relationships can oftentimes feel like an addiction 30:23 - The importance

We’re in that tricky time of the year for people who are single. News feeds and conversations are littered with talk of parties and other engagements for couples. People come out of the woodwork with the cute holiday activities they do together. I’ve been there. I know it can be tough! Despite this not being a Thanksgiving-themed episode, specifically, I still wanted to have a conversation with Monica Rodgers about remembering who you are and bringing forth the divine feminine and spirituality to dating, your relationship with others, and most importantly your relationship with yourself. We discuss how patriarchy, religion, spirituality, and the politics of it all intersect together to affect your life. 8:04 - My new book revealed 12:23 - Monica’s history and passion for empowering women 16:31 - How women have been under a trance of unworthiness our whole lives 18:59 - What is the divine feminine? 22:01 - The double bind that women face and the rich, but hidden, history of feminist religious texts 27:19 - Ori

Imagine doing the inner work to overcome the need for other people’s approval to feel worthy, only to find yourself constantly attracting that kind of person as a potential romantic partner. Are you doomed to repeat the pattern, or do you believe you have the power to disrupt it? In the past, Tasleem felt like the anxiously attached, needy partner in relationships. Even though she did the work to vanquish it, she’s now attracting men who seem to fit the anxious attachment style. In this episode, I talk about attachment styles, specifically anxious attachment, and help her discover the conditioning that underlies why these types of men are drawn to her. 2:07 - The one caveat you need to hear about attachment styles 6:25 - Tasleem describes how she used to be a needy dating partner 8:22 - Exposing the patriarchal programming behind the “overly sensitive” label 17:02 - Anxiously attached or love bombers: which type is Tasleem actually attracting? 24:50 - How anxiously attached people are also emotionally unavail

Today’s show touches on a pretty sensitive topic. Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself when dating because you desperately want to start a family? Or find potential partners for such a purpose who may not be the right fit? I believe that doing so can actually make dating a lot trickier. In this episode, I reveal why and talk about what I went through when dating and trying to have a child. I hope it helps you approach your dating life with this desire from a new perspective and with more peace of mind. 6:54 - How anxiety and pressure from wanting a child can affect your dating life 8:36 - Two reasons why you’re more likely to waste time dating from a place of desperation 12:01 - What dating and deeply wanting a family requires of you 15:54 - The better thing to do if you can’t let go of the need to control in your dating life 19:06 - Some myths and truths I discovered from my own experience having a child 22:16 - The unusual belief (and dream) that helped me the most when trying to conceive 26:12 - Adopti

What does outsourcing your worthiness look like? Many people outsource their worthiness when they think they’ll gain acceptance, love, and confidence in themselves only after they reach a certain weight... or make a certain amount of money... or live in a certain kind of house or neighborhood... or have a relationship, period. Now, those things can make you feel good about yourself, but it becomes an issue when they’re your sole source for feeling worthy. My guest today Dante feels like her self-worth depends on being in a relationship. So in this episode, she wants to know how she can stop outsourcing her confidence and worthiness to things outside herself, particularly relationships. 2:46​ - Consequences of being in a relationship to which you’ve outsourced your worthiness 7:44 - Why Dante feels her self-worth depends on being in a relationship 11:46 - How Dante felt like a bit of an outcast as a child 13:34 - The main culprit behind Dante’s inner child wounding and outsourcing 19:13 - Why Dante has a hard

There’s a hot topic in the dating and relationships arena that I rarely mention. I haven’t really had an episode dedicated to attachment styles. So I’ve brought on a therapist, love coach, and Irresistible Woman podcast host Madeline Charles to talk about attachment theory and how to overcome insecure attachment styles. In part one of this two-parter, we discuss the three main styles and she gives her perspective on how they develop and impact who you do or don’t date. Then in part two, I go on Madeline’s show to discuss how to use inner child work to help you overcome some of the unhealthy attachment types. So let’s dive in! 7:30 - Madeline quickly introduces herself 8:16 - Defining attachment style and theory 10:23 - Origin of your attachment style: nature or nurture? 11:59 - Anxious attachment style and how it might tie back to your childhood 14:31 - Signs of having the anxious attachment style as a dating adult 16:41 - Avoidant attachment style, how it can form during childhood, and what it looks like as

Getting over your ex isn’t the hardest part of a break-up. Getting over what the relationship meant to you is. If you’re not honest enough with yourself to do the deep work needed, you’ll never know if an old relationship is still holding you back in your love life. Sharon has done a lot of deep work and created coping mechanisms to try and move on from her last relationship, but something’s still preventing her from truly moving on. If you still think about your ex or find yourself constantly comparing every current dating experience or relationship with a past relationship, then this coaching call with her is a must-listen. 4:47 - Why you want to listen to this episode even if you don’t think you need to 6:33 - Sharon discusses the break-up of her last relationship 11:48 - Sharon reveals what she’s done to try to heal and move on 15:03 - A recent online dating experience that left Sharon with mixed feelings 17:03 - The missing pieces from the deep work Sharon has already done to shift the dating pattern she

Do you feel pretty or skinny enough? If not, you’re not alone. I’ve had clients tell me they feel they need to lose weight before they can date the people they really want to date or have sex with their skinnier partner. So in today’s episode, I talk about the link between worthiness and body image. Specifically, I want to share details about my own bumpy road to body acceptance and how changing my body image helped me attract the relationship I desired. 7:42 - Revealing my past issues with health, dieting, and body image 9:41 - Why you shouldn’t blame your parents for how you feel about your body 12:22 - What got me off the diet train and changed my relationship with food 16:58 - The unexpected but much-needed change that occurred alongside my new relationship with food 20:21 - Why I’m no longer a vegan 21:47 - Why body acceptance is a lifelong process 25:29 - The question I ask people who say they just want to be healthy 26:30 - A quick body acceptance exercise you can do anytime 29:12 - Ways you can treat

Do you feel pretty or skinny enough? If not, you’re not alone. I’ve had clients tell me they feel they need to lose weight before they can date the people they really want to date or have sex with their skinnier partner. So in today’s episode, I talk about the link between worthiness and body image. Specifically, I want to share details about my own bumpy road to body acceptance and how changing my body image helped me attract the relationship I desired. 7:42 - Revealing my past issues with health, dieting, and body image 9:41 - Why you shouldn’t blame your parents for how you feel about your body 12:22 - What got me off the diet train and changed my relationship with food 16:58 - The unexpected but much-needed change that occurred alongside my new relationship with food 20:21 - Why I’m no longer a vegan 21:47 - Why body acceptance is a lifelong process 25:29 - The question I ask people who say they just want to be healthy 26:30 - A quick body acceptance exercise you can do anytime 29:12 - Ways you can treat

Trouble with attracting men who can’t commit is by far the #1 issue I hear about. Today, I have a coaching call with Cici who’s frustrated about dating emotionally unavailable men. In this episode, we focus in on her relationship with her father because while she as an adult has come to terms with her dad in many ways, it turns out that her inner child hasn’t and still suffers from an unhealed wound that impacts her love life today. 5:16 - My general answer to those frustrated with attracting emotionally unavailable or non-committal men 10:37 - Childhood issues that contribute to Cici’s attachment style and problems with relationships 17:22 - Why Cici feels she’s attracting avoidant types of men 20:13 - What Cici’s evolved feelings about her father reveal about her emotional state 25:30 - Why understanding something on the mental level isn’t enough 27:31 - What Cici needs to do to truly heal the wound left over from her and her dad’s relationship 34:47 - How your inner child can blind you to red flags in a re

Welcome to the official kickoff of the Worthy in Love podcast tour! Every day during the next two and half weeks, you’ll learn about some of my favorite podcasts covering relationships and personal growth. These experts have their own experiences, specialties, and flavors that can support you in discovering how to feel worthy in love. Speaking of feeling worthy... worthiness and confidence often get conflated as the same thing. But they’re not. So in this quick episode, I want to clear up the confusion and talk about the difference between the two. 1:16 - How this podcast tour will work 2:58 - The surprising way confidence can affect awareness of your worthiness 4:02 - How the self-worth wound is universal and affects your relationships 5:42 - How I demonstrated a huge disconnection between my confidence and self-worthiness 8:17 - Why self-worth and confidence have very little to do with each other 11:00 - How to get a true view of where your self-worth is at right now I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me

As of the recording of today’s episode, there’s an ongoing crisis with COVID and Afghanistan. These current events might have you feeling a little down. Even though I can’t know what the state of the world will be by the time you listen to this episode, I wanted to lighten things up and talk about something a bit more fun. I also think a little fun is appropriate with my upcoming podcast tour fast approaching. So today, I share three TV shows/movies, three podcasts, and three Instagram accounts I love, plus some other entertaining resources. 9:15 - The humorous TV show with a theme around the power of kindness you must watch 10:48 - The rare movie that I just had to finish watching 12:56 - The TV show all about creating beautiful and functional backyard spaces 14:12 - The first podcast I can’t get enough of (and how it relates to baseball and The Bachelor) 16:23 - The podcast that tells you little know stories about American history, from Washington to Walt Disney, and how they tie into current events 19:43 -

Over the last few months, I’ve frequently mentioned pop culture and how it has impacted our love lives. It affects people’s perceptions of men, women, love, sex, and relationships. It can also enforce beliefs and normalize power dynamics between men and women, some of which are unhealthy. In this episode, I discuss one particular unhealthy dynamic involving The Bachelorette’s Katie Thurston and Greg Grippo in hopes that it’ll help you identify shitty behavior and take appropriate action when and if it happens to you. 9:52 - How you can watch The Bachelorette episode in question for yourself 11:38 - A quick overview of the situation and the first red flag I see 16:39 - The more subtle, manipulative exchange between Katie and Greg on the couch 22:14 - First sign of someone trying to manipulate or gaslight you 23:52 - How Greg continues to emotionally manipulate Katie in the conversation 25:52 - Why what Greg does is gaslighting and how the TV network influences perception of the situation 28:30 - What healthy l

No matter the age, everyone believes that they’re too old for something. Twenty and thirty-something year-olds think they’re getting too long in the tooth to get married and start a family. Those in their 40s or 50s believe they’re too old to meet someone new, and seniors just plain think they’re too old for everything, period. Time’s always running out! While this doesn’t have to be true, so many of us take it on as our truth. We see the number that is our age and attach a story to it as if it were real. Melissa has taken on these kinds of beliefs. She feels she’s too old, too busy, and too tired for a relationship. So in this episode, I help her get to the root of why her beliefs are there in the first place. 8:38 - Melissa describes her situation and reveals her relationship fear 12:12 - What’s really keeping Melissa from spending the time and energy on dating 17:53 - Getting to the core of what Melissa’s beliefs are really about 21:12 - What Melissa needs to do to build up trust in herself for a relations

I get asked about matchmaking recommendations a lot. But not only did I have no one to recommend, I honestly didn’t even know if I liked the concept...until I met Sarah Louise Ryan. Sarah is an international matchmaker from the United Kingdom who I formed a bond with earlier this year. I like her approach because she combines the practical with the intuitive.  So with her focus on outer work and my focus on inner work, our combined approaches actually complement each other well. In fact, this episode serves as an introduction to her and a way for you to see if you like her style and energy before we hold our joint workshop in September. Today, Sarah talks about how she matches her clients and what all’s involved in matchmaking, including the four biggest dating mistakes people make.  6:31​ - The #1 thing Sarah’s learned about matchmaking, dating, and relationships 9:08 - Some advice for those who have a shopping list of attributes they seek in a partner 11:18 - What Sarah’s matchmaking company does, how it wo

Humans are complex. We're good at achieving workplace or financial goals or any area of our lives with clear, linear steps. But we stumble when it comes to personal development or relationships. There’s too much nuance, emotion, and involvement of other people in those areas to follow the linear path, yet we try to anyway. My coaching call with Patty today really highlights this. She wants to know how to stop feeling jealous of friends in relationships. If you’ve been listening to this show for awhile, though, you know there’s more going on than meets the eye. So I help her dissect a lot of it in this episode. 9:02 - The real point behind diving into what you feel you didn’t have as a child 15:05 - What trusting other people really comes down to 21:05 - The various layers underlying Patty’s lack of trust in men 26:51 - How fear has played into Patty’s trust issues since childhood and how she can overcome it 32:48 - My controversial take on breakups that seemingly happen out of nowhere 35:41 - An invitation fo

What do Britney Spears, Meghan Markle, Rachel Lindsay, and I have in common? Believe it or not, you have it in common too. In today’s episode, I reveal an insidious influence on all women’s thoughts and emotions while in the dating phase and how it keeps us stuck in behavioral patterns that affect our relationships. Being aware of it and keeping it in mind is the first step to unconventionally stay calm in the early stages of a relationship. 2:08 - My biggest emotional fear during my dating phase 6:24 - Spears, Markle, Lindsay and misogynistic media coverage 11:57 - The hidden way media stories about women celebrities influence you and me 15:47 - The types of conflicting messages that we women receive all the time 18:07 - Questions to ask yourself when you feel frustrated with your behavior in a relationship I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you! After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps: Get my free 2021 Coac

Attachment theory books are popular, and they’re mentioned to me all the time. I think attachment style and personality quizzes can be powerful tools for healing and learning about yourself. However, they can also hold you back by preventing you from gaining clarity around what you actually need to heal, grow, and shift your relationship patterns. Today’s coaching call with Sabrina reveals this paradox, so listen in as I help her get to the real heart of her attachment anxiety issues. 3:00 - How Sabrina identifies with being anxiously attached 7:33 - Something that can block you from changing your pattern 13:30 - Sabrina keys in on defining who she is (in or out of a relationship) 18:11 - The interesting history behind Sabrina’s desire to win 25:58 - A discovery made when diving into the world of 6-year-old Sabrina 32:08 - A simple way Sabrina can re-parent her inner child in a way she needs 38:20 - Two reasons why I hesitate to recommend attachment theory books 41:04 - Highlighting key points revealed during

Do you repeatedly attract emotionally unavailable people? Or are you the type to push away, get bored with, or look for something wrong with emotionally available partners? Depending on the amount of inner work you’ve done, you might have some emotional availability tendencies worth looking at. But when I ask people about this, I get a lot of different reactions. So in this episode, I discuss what emotional availability is and isn’t and walk you through an assessment I’ve created so you can see if you’re emotionally available for the relationship you want right now.  4:26 - Exposing a big myth around emotional unavailability for relationships 7:30 - The 4 things I see attracting emotionally unavailable people to my clients repeatedly 10:48 - Why your emotional availability and unavailability will fluctuate 13:22 - How my assessment ranking system works and the #1 requirement for accurate results 14:21 - Diving into the 10 criteria for testing your emotional availability 20:47 - What each of the assessment’s 4

At some point, you’ve probably heard something like, “You need to strengthen your intuition.” Well, I’m not a believer in the need for us to find or strengthen our intuition. We just need to uncover the noise we pick up from our family, pop culture, and society at large that keeps it hidden from us. Today’s episode is all about trusting yourself and getting beyond the noise. In this coaching call with Lynn, I walk her through an exercise to reveal what her intuition has to say about her relationship. You can do the same and follow through on fearlessly trusting your intuition in your love life. 5:59 - What it looks like to make dating decisions from your brain vs. your intuition 7:48 - A family history behind why Lynn doesn’t trust her intuition 12:46 - What 5-year-old Lynn felt she had to do to stay safe 17:38 - Lynn’s realization about her relationship with her parents as an adult 20:07 - Empty Vessel exercise to discover the question Lynn has about her current relationship 24:09 - One way of matching her p