Ross O'carroll-kelly @ The Irish Times

The third of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The second of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The first of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross and Sorcha find something suspicious – but they’re the ones in trouble See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross manages to throw the most unwanted birthday party of all tim See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The HSE have paid Ross a visit, but it takes him a while to figure out why See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

First day in ‘actual Mount Anville’, but the last thing Honor needs is a chaperone See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“Now,” she goes, “when I give you the injection, I want you to count backwards from 20.”I’m like, “Twenty?” and I can hear the fear in my own voice. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The old dear might be ‘entitled’ to free travel, but that doesn’t mean she wants it See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some quick thinking is required of Ross to bail Ronan out of trouble – again See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oisinn goes, “Yeah, you’ve been sitting there all night with a face on you like the Long Mile Road. Why did you even come out? You should have stayed home and watched Love Island.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross finds the past, and tackles by Jerry Flannery, catching up with him See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sorcha has gone away for the weekend to a Himalayan Spa Retreat in a hotel on the R280 just as you’re coming into Drumshanbo. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I’ve hordly ever seen the old man this excited about something non-rugby related. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

He asked me for 20 snots. And as I peeled two Brodie Jenners off the wad, I could seem him silently kicking himself that he didn’t ask me for 50. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross is forced to engage his brain, with surprisingly good results. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"I'm Ross O'Carroll Kelly. What's *your* superpower?" See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“Well, I’ve never heard of him. What school did he go to?”“King’s Hospital, Ross!”“Jesus. No wonder he says it doesn’t matter where you come from.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We keep driving. He doesn’t say anything for a minute or two. Then he goes, “You know, I shouldn’t eeben be in the cunter doddy.”I’m like, “In the what?”“The cunter doddy. This cunter doddy. Arelint.”“Oh, Ireland – right.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sometimes the best advice we can give our children is the most obvious. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.