Background Noise

Would you rather fight a bear or a lion? Does an Iron Man rape suit exist? How do you cope with work-related stress? How do you fake cancer in order to swindle some money out of people? These are all important questions that need to be answered, and luckily, Background Noise exists to tackle such heavy issues. Put this in your ears and smoke it!

(note: episode 53 was accidentally a link to episode 52, but it is fixed now) Episode 53 - AKA Season 2 episode 1 - of Background Noise was a DAMN good one! Elmo came by the studio to tell us about a fight that he got into and Katy Perry's titties (we also found out that when he busts, yarn comes out), Hulk Hogan raped somebody, and we met a new character named Big Fat Pimp. News stories include: the legalization of prostitution in Canada, the Wiimote sextoy, a nasal spray that lowers your inhibitions, and M-M-M-MOOOOOORE!

BOOM! POW! BOOM CRACKLE POP! FIREWORKS AND LIGHTNING BOLTS! Check out the 52nd episode of Background Noise to help celebrate it's 1 year anniversary! We've got balloons, streamers, champagne, gifts & prizes - literally! Listen up to find out who is cut and uncut (if you don't know what that means, then...well...you'll find out), to hear tales of our origins, to hear about a man who humped a dinosaur, parents kissing kids, girls kissing girls, a story about a man who hid stolen earrings up his butthole, and a very special rendition of the hit song, "Promiscuous Girl!" Here's to many more years, boys and girls! CHEERS! *clink clink!*

Come on in and have a seat! Today we'll be discussing the times that we cried, buttholes, McDonald's characters, how to choose between kids in a life and death situation, the recent burka ban in France, how the news tries to censor truth and keep us all in line, the sexy tight ass girl that has been making headlines, and how to plan a clam bake. Okay, not that last part, but everything else. I promise.

When a child gets herpes from eating a semen-filled condom in a hotel room, Background Noise is there to report! And yes, that's an actual story from this week's show. We also share with you 6 tips on how to become excellent at anything, and we keep you up to date with major news from all over the world! If you like laughing, learning, and being-in-the-know, then this is the show for you!

Tonight we have a guest on the show, Mr. Michael Gray Kimber. You MAY already know of his work at Colony of Losers: Michael Kimber's Success at Failure. Additionally we discuss the coming changes of the fall, moving away from your parents, and our weekly whirlwind of news stories for your pleasure.

Drugs can heal depression. Pee can be used to power submarines. There is a beagle named James Bond. Hitler is an African. Book reading makes you more smarter. Background Noise is tremendous. And such. End transmission.

Lebron James is wearing incredibly tight pants, Lady Gaga is doing coke, cats are being marinated for dinner, girls are hitting puberty at age 7, and plants are growing inside of men's lungs...WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?! I don't know, but one thing that I DO know is that this week's episode of Background Noise is chock full o' news & laughs to make even the most boring of days into a thrill-ride! Strap in, and hang on tight...this ain't no kiddie ride!

Stand back...there's a hurricane coming through! A hurricane of...INFORMATION AND LAUGHS, to be exact! On this week's show we explain to you why college is not always such a good thing, and discuss why TV shows so often have a fat, dumb, loserish husband with a smoking hot wife. We also tell the tale of a groom who sprayed his wedding crowd with machine gun fire by mistake...and the tale of a man who sprayed innocent women with bottles of semen on PURPOSE. Whoa. This show is intense, not to be confused with IN TENTS, because this is no camping trip, ya twerp.

This week, on BACKGROUND NOISE: the guys discuss *large-breath* whether branding really makes a difference; some American folks hosting a Quran burning party; cringetastic injuries; monkeys in your pants; sexin' at the office; the danger of "romcoms," as Derrek calls them; and if you should allow your partner to sleep around!

Did you know that boobies can be ironed? Did you know that human minds can ACTUALLY meld together? Or how about this one: did you know that there is a parade of prostitutes in China? Well, I bet that you didn't know ANY of that! Man oh man...good thing Background Noise is here to keep you informed! PUT THIS IN YOUR EARS AND SMOKE IT!

Beavers are attacking, there's a female on our show, and 2 Nigerians gave birth to a white baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. Is the world coming to an end? No, it's an ultra spectacular episode of Background Noise! We also talk about sluts - both male and female - and a lot of other wacky, fun stuff that you've come to love us for! Listen up...or down...or upside down. Whatever the devil it is you kids do these days!

Warning: poisonous weeds are taking over Canada! Also be on the look out for the raging Mel Gibson and super pedophile Roman Polanski! Oh, and if you're a goose, beware of the goose-o-caust. This episode of Background Noise is just FULL of danger! But unlike other danger, you really should take part in this. Just put on some oven mitts first, 'cuz this sonuvabitch is HOT!

This might be our silliest, funniest episode yet, so you're a complete twerp if you don't check it out! In this week's show we get a little carried away discussing Princess Di's hair jam, discuss how we would make love to different Star Trek aliens, smash on dumb kids giving away free lemonade, and for the first time in Background Noise history, we take some phone calls from our listeners! How exciting is THAT? The answer? At LEAST more exciting that when Kane was first introduced to wrestling. At LEAST.

People are protesting in Toronto, sleeping with their own grandmothers, becoming dumber from the internet, and trying to kill themselves by jumping off of buildings that have now installed "suicide safety nets" to solve the problem. This is just SOME of the insanity discussed on this weeks show, but hopefully you're prepared for more because this whirlwind will SUCK...you in...to it.

Devin returns, and with him he brings a tale of lightning and horror! Also discussed this week is airplane travel, Monopoly, vacation destinations, a millionaire chihuahua, Virtua Fighter, a virtual sperm bank, delirium, a bad mushroom trip, why people like horror movies, and a discussion of a website that is...well...it involves angry women and an orifice, so...tune in to find out what that's all about!

Your ears are about to be popped right in the drums with another episode of Background Noise! Discussed this week is a man who claims a cow seduced him into sex, thoughts and opinions on animal rights/animal cruelty, why fat men get laid more than fat women, reality TV shows, E3 (video game showcase) and much, much more! If you like laughing, learning, and being entertained, then LISTEN UP... or down... either way, just LISTEN and spread the word! This show is growing like a very carefully cared for Chia Pet, and it's all thanks to YOU listeners!

Devin, the brains behind this whole operation, is away doing manly man things.... But luckily, Jon has the skills and power to make sure that the show goes on! Conversation topics this week include Drake and Eminem's new albums, how WoW can save your life, whether or not it's cool to date/juice a friend's ex, Gary Coleman's scandalous ex-wife, and a list of execution styles, including an execution that involves you shitting all over yourself while being baked in the sun and eaten by insects. Seriously. They did that in some places. Get out your listening spoons and feed your ears some Background Noise!

Oh no... Derrek is sick and not in studio... buuuuuut we have him on Skype and the show goes on! WHAT A TWIST! Let's talk about guilty pleasure songs and wild Asian ass... and maybe we could also discuss whether it's cool or not to hit the clubs when you're in a relationship? Yeah, I like that... and while we're at it, let's talk about denying people's friend requests on Facebook and a lot of other wacky things of interest! It's episode 36 and it's a Heinz of a pickle!

Imagine a world that has miracle berries that make everything you eat taste sweet; a world where incredibly white men read DMX lyrics; a world where laughter, insight, and advice are plentiful...now imagine not having to imagine this world because it actually exists and is called BACKGROUND NOISE! STEP INTO OUR WORLD AND DANCE WITH US, YOU MADMEN AND MADWOMEN! Episode 35 is fresh for your grill...I mean...your ears. Just download & listen, okay