Background Noise

On this week's thrilling episode of Background Noise: RIP to Michael Clarke Duncan; a small lesson about sugar and it's effects; Derrek is an uncle now (a talk about how awesome kids are and how they change you); a man who faked his death to his future wife in order to show her how special he is to her; stores with offensive names; Genghis Khan was a badass; the gun violence in Chicago is insane (the whole "Lupe Fiasco, Chief Keef, Jojo" thing and a talk about the effect of entertainment on people). Also, Nicolas Cage is ugly. Newsflash.

Creep with me... to a world where in one corner stands a battle bot (perhaps piloted by Grant from MythBusters?), and in the other corner is a ferocious little baby. Could the baby bludgeon the bot to death with a coffee mug? Or would the robot legitimately rape the baby? We will use our brains to think about that, and while we do, we will learn about a rich old woman that used an apartment building as a secret storage for 100 year old heirlooms. We also discuss the "Press Freedom Index" to see which countries have the most freedom in their press, and which ones are more "North Koreasque". Listen in, or you could listen to the wind in the trees... Both are beautiful. *Kisses you gently on your forehead*

I knew you'd be back. Let me tantalize you. This week on the show we discussed twitter death rumors and how crushing it will be when people like Bill Cosby and Jackie Chan really die. In other crushing news, Luke saw a man pulling a boat get in an accident, and marijuana can pulverize your brain muscles. We decided to take a look at who had the top 10 highest IQs on earth, and what they did. Then we wrapped up the show with a hearty chat on masturbation habits in various seasons, a purple dildo gone rogue, and a brief recap of our live show from the Saturday night prior. Are you tantalized? I am. Let's hold hands.

Comedian Merv Hartlen joined us for this episode. We had two "accidental shooting" stories, and in news that'll upset the creeps, eBay will no longer be selling "spells"...but "miracles" will still be allowed to go up for sale. Also, African Olympians are trying to stay in London, best friends are allowed to jerk off at each others' houses (common courtesy) and a recent study suggests that stressed out guys are more likely to hook-up with fatties. All this and more - only on Background Noise - uncensored talk radio!

We talked about ghosts and haunted houses on this week's show, so if you're that type of creep you won't wanna miss out! We also talked about a man who tucked his cock and balls out between the back of his legs, showed it to some cops and referred to it as the "Cyril Sneer" (as in the pink villain from the "The Raccoons"), and looked at a story about a DJ who "terrorized" the men in his city by breaking into their houses while they slept; not to steal anything, though - just to put his mouth all over their privates. We then went on to learn about a drug in Colombia that is basically a mind control device. The shit is CRAZY...AND scary when you think about how it might be used! So basically, if you like drugs, ghosts and sex, this is the episode for you! Pop some pills, pull out the Ouija Board, and get freaky with us! Oh man! YES! YESSS! You listening to Background Noise is making me SOOOO damn hot right now! DON'T STOP! YEAH! GHOSTS N DRUGS!

Devin returns to the show this week and brings with him some stories about his vacation, which includes some details about what may or may not have been a racist "heritage town" (you know, those old villages you visit where everyone is in character). We talked about the Olympics (people who got kicked out, broken records, the "sex village" and more), and also went over some VERY interesting sex statistics that revolve around how much sex people have while on vacation and how safe they are about it. There was also a moose that got stuck in a tree. What. Only on Background Noise. Listen and become better, because in this day & age it's easy to become worse. Fill your head with us. Let us fill you up. Can you feel that? Yeah, that's us.

On this week's show we answered a wide variety of questions that were sent in from our listeners. Here are some of them: "How does social media affect relationships?", "What drives you in life?", "How would you describe willpower?", "Do you believe in God? Why or why not?", "How many dates should you wait before having sex?", "What are some 'dealbreakers' in a relationship?", "If you could do something for free for the rest of your life, what would it be?", "Would you rather save your drowning pet or a drowning stranger?", "What foods give you mud-butt?", AND PLENTY MORE! It's QUESTIONMANIA 1, folks! *smashes a chair over your head*

The Lord High PigMonkey, of Geeks vs. Nerds fame here in Halifax, joined us this week to talk to us about all of the exciting events that he has going on & coming up! We also talked about a kid who died playing a video game for too long (and looked back at some of the games that we played the most) and reminisced about the allure of those dingy, old school arcades! After that, Derrek gave us all a recap of the Deltron 3030 & Maestro show here in Halifax, as well as a recap of some drama that unfolded from a local magazine's bullshit review. That wasn't it though! We then went on to watch and discuss the viral video about the "drunken smash mob" in Jacksonville, Florida, shared our secrets in regards to the art of Facebook creeping (and looked at how Facebook is "cracking down" on it), discovered a sexy ghost town named "Bikini", and talked about internet trolling - inlcuding the government's latest plan to use it to fight terrorists & extremists. Our show is better than your show. Hell, you probably don't ev

In recent news, Chumbawamba, the group responsible for the smash song "Tubthumping", have broken up...amazingly, we were still able to get ourselves together and go on with the show. We discussed a man who sold a ridiculous video game collection on eBay for millions of dollars and a game for Atari involving spear dodging and rape, girls not being as pretty as their Facebook display pic or Twitter avi would lead you to believe, physiques and sexual desires, news of a brand new video game system in the works called the "Ouya", and we also taught you how to catch people in their lies with "poker tells". We're magic like that - hence the silk MC Hammer pants with matching vests, curly-tipped shoes & bejeweled turbans. Your wish is our command, and we KNOW that you all wished for this podcast...so...well...here ya go.

This week our guest Rene Ross joined us to discuss Canada Day fun (fireworks, drinking, partying), puking in cabs, dating sites (apparently guys send Rene dick pictures on the regular), the Higgs Boson discovery (some scientific shit, son) and the thrill & appeal of hot dog eating competitions. Also, one of us killed a rabbit and has a Magic Mike movie review for you that may or may not arouse you, while another one of us stopped taking drugs that we were supposed to be taking and suffered for it as a result. Basically, we're a group of animal murderers with drug problems & questionable sexuality. Whoops...but hey, it's 2012 so that's cool, right? I thought so. I smell an A&E reality show...

What an episode we have in store for you this time around, boys and girls and others! We talked about the movie companies who make knock-offs of blockbusters in attempts to trick people and make some sales (instead of Happy Feet, try Tappy Toes; instead of Kung Fu Panda, try Chop Kick Panda), stupid moments in wrestling history (Bam Bam Bigelow is awesome), a man who hired a hitman to hit his hitman, a baby-saving man named Delroy, getting high off of sunscreen, the gaiety of gay oreos, the best donut flavors, and the idea of how technology's next big move is to make stuff float. In the air. Magically. Just imagine. Listen up for your weekly dose of news and awesome stuff worth listening to. Or you can do your homework or yardwork. It's your choice, so choose wisely (please choose us).

Ever wonder if jellyfish and other fish have assholes? Yeah, me too...but don't worry, we learned all about it in this episode! Also, Derrek had some stories to tell about his trip home to the boonies, we learned that Devin has a "dangerous something", and I (Luke) ranted a bit about how much I hate frozen bread. News stories covered on this episode include Rodney King's death (also a look back at the LA riots and how they changed the world), a man who killed a man who was trying to rape his 5 year old daughter (listen to hear the outcome), and Adam Carolla's recent comment about how women aren't funny (how much truth is there to that and who are some funny female comedians?). I'd say that this episode will "rock you like a hurricane", but I think that's trademarked, so instead we'll rock you, but not TOO much...but a bit...like a blustery day...with high winds.

Robb Medwid of the band Brite-VU joined the cast this week and brought with him a lot of interesting thoughts, ideas & opinions in regards to the music industry. We discussed the importance of a good, live show, the over-saturation of music, how proper sound quality makes all the difference and a whole lot of other stuff that independent musicians of ANY genre should hear! We also talked about movie soundtracks (epic movie songs & how soundtracks don't seem to be as important as they once were), the Drake & Chris Brown "bottle fight" over Rihanna, and our favorite gangster flicks. Don't make me put the Tommy gun to your dome, see? Mwaaaa! Listen to Background Noise, hear? Mwaaaa!

Author Sin Mils joined us on this episode to tell us about her exciting, upcoming psychadelic novel, "Purple Mike"! In other news, E3 happened but it was boring, Chris Brown thinks Cher deserves a "beating", Nicki Minaj is taking heat from multiple people because of the bullshit music that she's been putting out, we learned about how mosquitoes "ride" raindrops, and we also watched & discussed a video where a man throws water in a woman's face and hooks the other one in the jaw twice, and another video where a doctor got busted sucking on boobies and feeling up other lady parts on camera. Poor man. He was just trying to help! He's so misunderstood. Much like us, so give us a chance! We make magic happen! In your EARS. Eargasms and such.

Between the Miami face eater, a murdered girl found in a hockey bag, and a gay pornstar/kitten killer mailing body parts throughout Canada, we have a a bloody & disgusting mess of a show this week...and that's not where it ends! We also discussed the story of an asexual Japanese man who cooked up his cock and balls in order to feed some people who knowingly paid to eat his delicacy, and then we thought up some of our own dick recipes. Beyond the gore and horror, though, we also talked about the stupidity of homophobia/gay-bashing, and how important the idea of "acceptance" is when it comes to making the world a better place. Oh, and in boring news, there's a light bulb that's been burning for 100+ years. THRILLING, I know. But hey, you'll still listen, right? No? Well then why are you still reading this? Asshole. Background Noise - put this in your ears and smoke it!

Wanna hear a story about two kids getting their heads chopped off by a helicopter propeller on a movie set? Well, you can hear all about that as well as a bunch of other horrible movie set disasters in this episode, you sick bastards! We also talked about a man who made a Super Soaker into a deadly shotgun, poachers legally being shot on sight in India, and Will Smith's recent run-in with a kissing bandit. Also, a new segment was introduced this week - "Black People News" - where we discussed Raven Symone & Idris Elba's questioned sexuality, two kids on Twitter who caused a scandal by "murderin' the sluttery" and "killin' the neck", Lil Boosie found not guilty of murder & Rapper 2 Chainz being arrested for brass knuckles that weren't even really brass knuckles. Oh, and one more thing: "CLIT Eastwood". Yup. Listen and figure it out.

In this week's news, a man needs to shit out a diamond ring or else he will be in (more) trouble. Elsewhere, a man double karate chopped - or flying axe-handled - a woman who bit him in the dick and killed her. After covering that, we got into a discussion about relationships (compromising, simping, low expectations, dumb people, past experiences, what works/what doesn't, etc.), Derrek's story about being a creep around Halifax, an update about Jon Travolta's gaiety (he still loves cock, don't worry), a look at what's going on in the NBA Finals, and Devin's review on the game that has the entire world going nuts - Diablo 3! So, we have violence, sex, sports, video games, news & opinions. Why WOULDN'T you listen to us? Oh...you don't have ears...damn...SORRY! Go look at pictures, I guess. MOVING pictures, even.

Comedian Kyle Hickey picks up the 4th mic on this week's show to help bring the ruckus! Topics of discussion include John Travolta's spree of gayness, Adam Yauch's death & the Beastie Boys, a man who got struck in the balls by lightning, an evil clown who you can hire to stalk your child, ancient torture tools, a man who can smash his hard-on through a grapefruit, and Twitter jail. After that, we browsed an inmate dating site as a way of trying to find true love...since we need it. We need it BAD. Do you love us? No? Well, can you listen to our show and pretend that you do? Okay, great. Thanks. I guess we go together now.

In stunning news this week, the "Octomom" is going to be doing porn because she's broke as a joke! Wow! We discussed some of the "porn stunts" that she could pull (what objects would fit inside her vagina?), as well as how much we would need to be paid in order to star in a flick with her. Keeping the sexiness going, we talked about a German sex freak who sexed a man up so good and so long that he had to call the police on her. Poor fella. We also discussed a boy being suspended from school for wearing a religious shirt (are we getting carried away with what is appropriate and what's not?), Facebook's new "organ donor" plan (we also thought up some other cool ideas that Facebook could do), and then we took a look at a new study about how two people can be matched up romantically based off of their communication skills and the words they use. It's actually really fascinating and we had an in-depth conversation about it, so I promise that you'll learn from it and look at things in a new way. You want to learn &

This week WE'RE DOOMED...relax, not our show, I just mean that the band, "We're Doomed" joined us for our middle segment to discuss their music! We also got the guys to open up about who they think the hottest woman in the world is, talked video games, discussed the greatest foods in the world, got them to create an album cover and a "dream concert" & more! Discussion topics this week include Metta World Pea...err, Ron Artest's elbow to James Harden and violence in sports (new concussion policies, the intense NHL playoff violence, suspension lengths in sports), the "I Can Count To Potato" girl discovered in real life (her parents are pissed; how seriously should trolling be taken?), the banning of yoga pants & leggings in schools, a tranquilized bear falling out of a tree, our favorite xvideo searches, Buff Bagwell breaking his neck, saxophone players killing themselves in hotels, and a magical school bus that cures hangovers. This episode is like a breakfast buffet. We have a lot of everything for everyone..