Sea Hags Podcast

It’s nothing but bird sex and personality tests this week, because those are the primary fascinations of our guest, three timer Eryn! Whole lotta bird dink, whole lotta Myers-Briggs.

Oh wow. One HUNDRED episodes are in the bag, and we could think of no one better to ring in the occasion with than the sublime Katie-Ellen Humphries. We go ham on some soda water, and discuss the lesser liked Victoria-area band Hot Hot Poop, hopeful comedy, the douchebag reign of Jayden Bacey, fingering, and how to be the dickhead you want to see in the world. Thank you for listening if you’ve ever listened at all!

For something as prestigiously numbered as episode 99, we wanted a guest who was old enough to remember Wayne Gretzky’s cup run with the Oilers, and we are blessed with the 508 year old (and newly minted doctor of philosophy) Nicholas Smyth. Katie and Nick revisit some dank friendship memes from the shared horrors of a punk rock tour van, Chris is up her own butt, and we muse on the vast possibilities of variety shows (no improv allowed). As ever, we remember the importance of underpromising and overdelivering.

Here begins our march towards episode 100, and folks… we have some incredible guests lined up, starting with the incomparable, irreducible (she’s her own person) - ABBY SHUMKA! Her podcast, Fashion Hags, launched at the same time as we did, and when we reached out over the name similarities, we were taken with her sweetness and determined to get her on our show. And she’s the PERFECT guest. We hit ill the standard talking points – long term relationship advice, pooping/farting in front of others, throwing steak, and a pro wrestler’s magical, powerful penis.

Nobody here but us chickens this week, so we take free rein to be as insufferable as possible, hitting all of our regular points–journalling, tarot, and mental health management. Old ladies like new appliances and brand name post-its, thankyouverymuch.

Our large hilarious ginger son Steev Letts is on the podcast this week to talk scalp massages, hot dummies, cuddle porn, and the perils of vertical orgasms. Bathe in the raw sensuality of the man who describes himself alternately as a “sweaty, bored bumlover”, and in possession of “the legs of Tina Turner with the torso of Andy Richter”. Check out Magic Mic at the Junction in Davie Village every Tuesday night! CW for abuse/bad sex discussion in the 2nd half.

Longtime local web celeb Malloreigh is our guest this week! The originator of the term “vanmnesia”, she rides a fixed gear bike into our hearts to talk about fitness and the beautiful supportive space that is queer sports leagues - inspiring us all to move our bods more this year. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Mable league!

A little episode today, recorded overtop of a drum rehearsal for our epic NYE soiree (from which we are presently recovering). Keeping commitments! Just some hopes and goals for twenty-create-teen. Enjoy!

A patchwork report from Chris’s Christ-mas 33rd birthday party, we check in with fond faves such as Mom! Friends! Alcohol! And that East Van staple, vegan curry. Pls enjoy and we shall see you in the new year.

This week has three podcast nerds getting a bit meta as Taylor Moorey joins us to talk shop and wax poetic about the pain of a Big Ask in one’s art. Our lack of a theme gets challenged while we play “What Kind of Boat Are You”, solve the mystery of the Zodiac killer (it was an inflatable motor boat the whole time), and determine that Scottish dolphins are the worst mannered of all cetaceans.

Yeah, two episodes in a row without a guest, it is goddamn December and we’re hangin’ on by a fine, golden thread. What are YOU gonna do about it? Sorry, sorry. We’re actually somewhat jolly in this episode, which has significantly more Gowan-based content than usual, so, uh, enjoy that, I guess.

A second week in a row on location, this time in the riverside shack! The gals are alone and so wiped out that, at one point, Chris forgets we even have a podcast, let alone are currently recording one… It’s COMPLAINAMANIA! We still don’t like the weather.

Threepeat guest Noel is back with us–or are we with her??–on this very special episode that has us out of the shack and in the warm embrace of her Nanaimo-based castle. We fight through a hangover to bring you chats about assault and restorative justice (cw for every sex assault case in the media presently), cooking, canning, and showing up those haughty fellers at the Fish and Game Club with killer bowhunting skills. Special guest star, a Recalcitrant Baby.

The fantastic and hilarious comedian Amber Harper-Young joins us this week to examine rude teens, beating up your friends, Oasis, the best mid-90s Angelina Jolie movie, and whether or not we’re all terrible aunts. As always, we’re encouraging people to embrace the Northern European traditions of coziness as we fight off seasonal depression–Amber suggests you quit smoking for a blast of warmth to your extremities!

Our first guest ever on the podcast finally returns, it’s Emily Wight! She’s been deep in the creation, production and release of her 2nd cookbook, Dutch Feast, which you can get from local bookshops like Pulp Fiction or Book Warehouse (and other independent booksellers like Costco, Amazon and Target). We discuss our preferences in mushes, hygge/gezellig, and what we used to like to drink as illegal teens.

The biological son of the Monopoly man, sweet Colin Sharp is a comic here in Vancouver and listener, he’s got a cold. But it’s off-brand NeoCitran to the rescue, and we dig into his artistic origins, chat about bombing on the road, zucchini races, and placenta encapsulation. None of us have a baby. Catch Colin every Tuesday at the Granville Island Brewing taproom for Full Pint Comedy!

No guest for this very special (hah! it’s not) halloween episode; we talk costumes past and present, candy rankings, and Babadooks on ecstasy. Commercials that we thought we dreamed up turn out to be real, so do what you will, but don’t rattle me bones!

In a shocking return to the podcast, Steve Venegas has since gained a(n adorable) daughter and rid himself of one gnarly ball. We don’t think the two things are related. This is the harrowing story of the latter, and we’re once again spellbound by Steve’s raw storytellling style. This one’s a nailbiter! You’d bestes check yer testes!

Our pal Ashley is back for a threepeat chat after a dreary and dreadful week, in which the high point for Katie and Chris was getting a haircut. Look, there's a lot of shit going on and we're fired up feminists at the best of times, right now, we're almost too wiped out to generate the appropriate amount of rage. Ashley comes through with artisanal doughnuts cheer-em-up stories about dog pee and engagements, and has us in a better mood by the end.

Famous dog mom, comedian, and holistic nutritionist Alicia Tobin is our guest this week, and we are agog at our own luck that she a) was willing to hang out with us, and b) let us record it. Well-known as an exceptionally funny and silly lady, she also gets super deep and real about self-worth, shame, and the orthodoxy of minimalist living. On the lighter side, Alicia and Chris talk about all the hot butts in Vampire Town, if you're into that whole True Blood thing.