Sea Hags Podcast

A wild, sweet baby boy appears! It’s comedian Matty Vu, put him in your loot bag for a +45 to Endearment! We discuss creative crises, getting bumped by celebrity comics, and all our local faves. THEN we gush about all the goofy stuff we’re obsessed with, do bits from other podcasts (again), and maybe, finally, hopefully get Hamilton out of our collective system.

Do you think that voice is noice? Well, then we have a treat for you in the form of our beautifully dressed guest (not that you’d know), Alannah Turner! She’s in grad school to become a speech language pathologist, and she looooves your larynx. We talk vocal structure, how to warm up and take care of the voice, and a bunch of totally unrelated stuff like Tinder dealbreakers, beard huffing, and the curious appeal of grey sweatpants.

We head for the ‘burbinest burbs to hole up overnight in the Parental Palace, casa John y Brenda, while they’re out of town being the snowbirds that they are. We’re the youngest people in this fancy adult-oriented gated community! Like so many guestless episodes, this one progressively devolves into wine-soaked babbling about such engrossing topics as bathroom habits, malapropisms, love notes, and whether or not St. Nicholas was a Klingon. If you listen all the way to the end, you will get a musical surprise.

Heyyy it rained 54 days out of the last 59 and we’re so mad at Margaret Atwood, but it’s nice to get the gals together to have an HQ kvetch. Climb into the handbasket with us and Helena, where we talk about curating our own self image (barf!), professional wrestling (body shaming Sheamus), heavy metal, and Star Trek.

Gird your loins, because here comes comedian Gavin Clarkson to oust the overrated wordsmith Robert Service as the Yukon’s Favourite Son. We learn that the Gold Rush never fully ended, as our guest is also a frickin’ mining engineer! (or, for the layman–a Gold Scientist) Gavin shows the Supermoon who’s boss, we all do dreadful accent work, and we share in some much needed belly laughs in these trying times.

Our omnidirectional microphone gets put to the test today with a first for us–TWO GUESTS. Public health pros Abby and Chelsea are in Vancouver at the same time, a rarity for these globetrotters who are often oceans away working on various international health initiatives. They discuss the zen of long-haul budget travel, relatable advice on hole avoidance, and the tasty Canadian treats they miss the most when they’re far from home.

We’ve got back to back returning guests, and this week we’re bringing you a wonderful spooky gab session with the incomparable Lauren Martin. If you’re similarly not quite ready to give up the halloween spirit, hang out with us as we talk about the horror/arousal relationship and read each other’s tarot cards!

We have our first follow up guest! That’s right, it’s ALLISON 2 – ELECTRIC BOOGALOO – BACK IN THE SHACK colon BITCHES BEWARE. But it’s almost like a whole new Allison, because this time she has bangs, and we think you can really hear the difference. We make our cursory nods towards the spookiness of the season (Horror films! Ghost stories! Ouija! Bruce Campbell!), discuss the finer points of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, and perform metatextual analysis of Hanson’s Mmmbop (kind of).

Thunderstorm of the decade? More like… uh… Blunderstorm! We had a lot of setbacks for the recording of this episode–we were sick, our planned guest had to cancel, and we were slapped with a three day weather and wind warning that was projected to cut Vancouver power off. But we are very stubborn and committed to our podcasting routine, so we dang well persevered to bring you another ep that represents the core values of the show--just the two of us grousing and giggling.

This week, we’re talkin’ better community through large amounts of food with photographer, home chef, and all-around babe Jen Clark! For a number of years, she’s been running an intensely competitive (yet loving and nurturing) monthly vegan cookoff in Vancouver, which has imbued her and her friends with some next-level skills—even her mom admits that the student has become the master. You’re gonna want to have snacks for this one, because you’re gonna get mighty hungry!

We very nearly have a coherent theme this week as we welcome Ashley, a politico powerhouse to our seaside studio, to discuss blood-boiling election shenanigans, period culture, and the blood suckers of the Buffyverse. Getting all sanguine up in the shack!

Sketch comedian and improvisor Marta Wesselhoff joins us to talk scene politics, awkward segues, lusting over old time-y counts, and playing the Sims like a sociopath.

No guest this week as we try to save money on therapy by talking about our feelings with each other into some audio equipment. We work through our current bleh-ness and make some plans to feel better together! Augh!

This one was incredibly fun to record, joined as we were by Madison, an amateur baker, professional smarty and Champion of Abandoned Cats! Listen in on us gabbin’ about the GBBO, the exhaustive dance of performing femininity, the slow death of academia, the terror and uncertainty of childhood, and… boners?

Katie’s got hair competition from this week’s guest, the pink-tressed Tamara—an ace knitter, bicycle babe & a fellow former resident of Chris’s debaucherous old East Van apartment building. We gab about unsolicited bike advice, pick up artists, pheromones, and when it’s cool to be rude to racists (all the time). We poke at the weird/dark side of the rise of homesteading chic—are we all just apocalypse preppers tied up with a raffia bow? The end times will be rife with pickled carrots.

If it seems a little cuddlier than usual in the shack, that’s because we’re joined by a representative of that ever-increasing demographic of straight bears, Mr. Kyle Carpenter! Kyle is a grudging PhD candidate and a part-time comedian, and is one third of the Tricycle Comedy collective (along with Katie and past guest Justin O’Hearn). We discuss our unhealthy relationships with academia, the overlap of art and identity, and we discover that emotional eating knows no gender.

Every seat is the hot seat this week as we are joined by the hilarious and magnanimous comedian Fatima Dhowre (The Lady Show, Roast Battle, Comedy Deux Soleils,The List)! Perilous heat in the shack has us battling the sound of various fans (electrical and hand!) but powering through to bring you captivating discussions about peeing standing up, musical theatre, the bitch/asshole dichotomy, and the appeal of giving it all up to join a cult.

Our guest this week is the VERY zesty comedian Stephen Peever, the sort of wild and crazy fella that owns multiple skintight animal onesies. We tear open the vicious rivalry between Canada and the US (or, rather, dissect the linguistic peculiarities of both countries, we get sassy about stats, and Katie wails over missing out on Maria Bamford’s drop in appearance at her regular open mic.

Oh boy. So. The podcasts we look up to (and boy do we talk about them and sing their themes and do their bits in this one) often will bank several episodes if the host or hosts are going to be away, and that’s what we tried to do here. Unfortunately, we failed to stop drinking between episodes. So, it’s a bit of a hot-ass disaster. But we TRY to adhere to a theme, which was revisiting all the “bad” stuff we liked as teenagers, as adults. We kind of do that. At your peril, friends, at your peril.

Lovely bonus tunes from this week's guest Calvin Arsenia on harp and lead vocals and Chris Rzepa on cello.